Toby reacts to Spencer's news
Chapter 23: A Once upon a Time
All of Toby's memories with Spencer came flooding back to him.
The first day he met her. He remembered how warm it was outside. He remembered pulling up to her house to meet with her father about the job. He remembered how poor the barn looked before its remodel and how excited he was to get the job. He never expected a simple job remodeling a barn would change his life. That day, he decided to take a leap. He remembered walking back to his truck for his tools while he waited for Mr. Hastings's daughter to get home. It was Mr. Hastings's idea for him to meet Spencer before officially accepting the job.
Toby was nervous about meeting the daughter of a rich man. Before he met Spencer, he expected her to be a stuck up, spoiled brat. In the back of his mind, he can see Spencer struggling to walk in a pair of extremely high heels while talking on her phone. He remembered the jump start to his heart when his hands reached out to prevent her from face-kissing the pavement. He remembered the heat rushing to his face when his eyes met hers. He could never forget the smile Spencer had on her face when Toby accepted the job, and her hug.
He remembered their first real conversation together after Spencer invited him inside for dinner. They talked about books, movies, and games that interested them. He remembers their night of passion together that was wrong for the both of them, but in that moment it all had felt so right. That is how every moment was with Spencer. Every moment with her always felt exciting, special, passionate, and rarer. Wrong, but always right. He remembers it all too well.
Here he is now, sitting in the newly remodeled barn that he had spent so much time building for Spencer. Spencer sat on the same couch as him just a seat cushion away. Her eyes glossed over with tears. It was obvious she was trying to hold back her emotions. Toby's brain finally spun back into focus. His heart remained shattered, but some way, somehow, it was still beating inside his chest.
"London?" Toby choked out.
Spencer took a moment to collect herself. She breathed in deep and wiped away a stray tear. She felt like there was a brick in her stomach.
"Wren has family there," she said. "So, he wants to live there to be closer to them."
"What about what you want?" Toby asked. "Does he care about that? At all? What about school? You told me you want to finish your studies to become a lawyer."
"Wren has been very patient with me." Spencer said, trying to convince herself more than anyone. "I'm going to finish school then join him in London for the remainder of our lives."
Our lives. It felt weird for Spencer to say that. The truth was, as much as Spencer wants to try to convince herself that she can be happy with Wren. She is really just doing this to keep Wren from wrecking Toby's life. He had already caused him enough trouble in such a short time. There is no doubt in Spencer's mind that if Wren stayed in town, he would continue to trash Toby's reputation all around the states. Toby's well-being is centered around his ability to get decent jobs as a carpenter.
"Why are you really doing this?" Toby asked. "Why would you agree to move to London when your friends and family are here?"
Spencer sucked in a deep breath to prevent herself from crying.
"I told you, Wren's family lives in London," she said. "Marriage is about compromising. Soon, Wren's family will be my family too. You knew I was engaged when you met me, Toby. What did you expect?"
That was a dagger to the heart for Toby. Spencer knew saying that might have taken it a little too far. But what else can she say? I'm doing it for you. That wouldn't make sense to Toby either, so it was best to force a narrative that Spencer will have to work like hell to make come true.
"I thought when I kissed you," Toby choked over the lump in his throat. His eyes pooled with tears as he said to her, "I thought we felt the same way about each other."
Spencer couldn't hold it together any longer. She threw a hand over her mouth as she choked out a sob that Toby heard. Tears sprung from her eyes. Suddenly, her chest began to feel extremely tight like something was pressed against it.
"It's not that I don't care about you," she said. "I do. It's just…I said yes to him."
Everything she was saying was mostly true, but all of it felt wrong. Spencer did say yes to Wren, but she said yes before she met Toby. Just because she said yes to Wren did not mean he was the guy she's supposed to be with. Spencer felt a strange pinch in her heart as she realized I love you. But I can't have you.
"So, this is it then," said Toby. "This is goodbye."
"I guess so," Spencer whispered, too quiet for Toby to hear.
They sat in silence. The clock in Spencer's bedroom ticked as the minutes went by. Toby couldn't stand to sit here any longer.
"Okay, I gotta go," he said. "I've got this thing…at my parents' house so, I better…"
"Okay," Spencer wiped the stray tears away.
They rose from the couch. Toby led the way towards the door with Spencer trailing behind. He was about to leave, but Spencer was not yet ready to let him leave. Not without him needing to know something.
"Toby," she choked out.
He turned to face her. His eyes were red from all the tears shared this afternoon.
"What?"
She took a breath, sniffled, and said, "I'm going to miss you."
An anvil sat on his heart as he said, "I'm going to miss you too."
She wanted to hug him, but she knew that wouldn't be a good idea. If she fell into his arms one more time, she knew she wouldn't have the strength to let him go. And that is exactly what she must do. No matter how much it kills her. Toby turned to the door and opened it. He stepped part of the way out before saying over his shoulder…
"Take care of yourself."
Then, he was gone. Spencer watched as his shadow disappeared from the doorway. She waited until she heard his truck roar to life and drove away before closing the door. She turned away from the door with her back leaned against it. The choking sobs that had been stored in her chest finally erupted as she sank to the floor.
Toby was stuck in a daze the whole drive back to his loft. His truck came to a stop as the traffic lights in front of him shined red. He drummed his fingertips against the steering wheel trying his hardest to keep more tears from spilling out. Half of his mind screamed at him to turn the truck around. To go back to Spencer. To do whatever it takes to convince her that they belong together. That would be selfish. She is engaged to Wren. She's going to marry him. She chose him. Yet, somehow even through all the words Spencer said to him, something was screaming that she really chose Toby, but for some reason, she is choosing to be stuck with Wren. Toby can't trust his judgment right now. He was sure that Wren was telling him that he was only marrying Spencer for her money. Now, Toby actually believes Spencer wanted to be with him over the good looking, rich, British doctor? Maybe I belong in Radley like my mom, he thought, since he has such crazy ideas running through his mind. His mom. The watch.
Toby stuck his hand inside his coat pocket to dig around until he felt the cold metal on his fingertips. He held up the shiny gold pocket watch and ran his fingers over its surface. Spencer told him not to open it in front of her. He was not in front of her anymore. Toby used his thumb to press the little click at the bottom as the top seal flew open. Spencer was right. Seeing this would have made their conversation a lot harder. For the first time, his eyes read what Spencer had engraved on the inside of the watch. You are my once upon a time.
Honk! Toby was brought back to reality by the car behind him. He looked up to find the light had turned green. He drove the rest of the way home and parked his truck along the street outside the Brew where his loft was. He was just unbuckling his seatbelt when his phone rang. He answered it without looking at the name.
"Toby, come quick!" He heard a voice yell.
Spoby shared a tearful goodbye. Is it really over? Who called Toby at the end? What will happen next? I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Thank you for reading and I'd appreciate it if you left a review.