First Impressions

"I'm your Huckleberry."

– Doc Holiday

"Are you sure it's him?"

"There's no doubt, he's not even doing a good job of trying to hide. He's just sitting there as if he were all safe and sound."

"Don't underestimate him. He's clearly chosen our most popular restaurant to scope out their profits while swindling his way to get a decent meal at the same time. That filthy cur must be brought to justice before he tries to hurt someone."

"I'll assemble the men."

~o~O~o~

"Holy papaya, she had a birdcage in her hair?"

"That's what I was thinking!" Flynn laughed. "That duchess had an honest-to-god birdcage dressed up in her hair, doves and all! Nobles are crazy with what they put their money into, and some have just the most bizarre sense of fashion."

It was amazing how time flies when you're sharing good times with a friend. Flynn had spent the last hour recounting the highlights of his time in Nasaltown—ahem, Weselton. Norris already knew most of the details, even a few that the Duke had tried to cover up, but it was still another thing entirely to hear the story from the thief himself.

At the Duke's ball, everyone came armed to the teeth with their fine clothes and their fake smiles, wimpishly attempting to curry favor with the strongest piece on the board in their petty squabble of a game. Sure, some old-timers still got a little hung up on that kinda stuff, where it was all about 'noble blood' and 'social standing' and whatever. Gag. But it sure made it even more fun to rip them off!

"I still have a hard time picturing you dressed up like one of them." Norris shook his head as Flynn continued. "You have a wicked silver tongue, but acting like one of the Second Estate? How did you of all people stomach that?"

"Yeah, I'll admit I didn't think that part through," Flynn grumbled. "Like I said earlier, the hard part was having to listen through so much business mumbo-jumbo all at once. But the rest was surprisingly easy! All you have to do is talk fancy gibberish and pretend it means something. Politicians do it all the time!"

"You have such a simple view of how things work, Rider. It's alarming how often you're right."

"Hey, I can get the gist of it! All you need to do is remember that politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, labeling it wrong, and applying the wrong remedies. You can try to tell them otherwise, but nobles have zero patience for senseless ideas. Except their own, of course."

The chef blinked rapidly. "I can't believe you just summarized the entire system in a few short sentences like that. Well, you've certainly ruffled a few feathers higher up. The Duke's been in quite a fuss since your visit, storming through his house fuming and muttering incoherently. I'm still amazed at how you embarrassed him like that in front of his peers! With time he can recoup the fortune you relieved him of, but you also took away the one thing even more precious: his pride of reputation."

"Heh, serves him right!" Flynn chuckled. He loved taking the one thing that nobles couldn't replace. "That'll teach him that there are some things that his precious money can't buy. There's nothing like robbing a rich jerk just to make a point, it makes me feel all squishy inside."

"There's more news," the chef smiled. "As I said, you've stirred up quite a commotion. The Duke had been expecting massive payoffs from the partnerships he'd make, and so he didn't see a problem at going overbudget on hosting the biggest gathering of nobles from every kingdom on the map in almost forty years. He already taxed all of Weselton to near bankruptcy to make it happen, so now he's turning to his business partners instead. Tell me, did you see happen to see the two attending royal brothers from the Southern Isles?"

"Ah yes, the twins. Bleagh," Flynn looked like someone had forced a piece of rotten fruit down his throat. "I swear Norris, did I mention I'm not a fan of piranhas? They're cruel, they attack the helpless and will happily ruin your life. They're just like the twins, but friendlier. I've encountered a lot of elitist snobs, but those two are without a doubt the worst I've seen yet. And the vaunted nobility calls me a criminal? What a bunch of self-entitled idiots. I was hoping that making off with those fancy rubies of theirs would get them in trouble, please tell me they got a spanking or something!"

"Oh, more than you know, my friend. More than you know." Norris gave a low chuckle. "My sources tell me that the Duke has been in rather aggressive negotiations with the King of the Southern Isles. Evidently, the twins signed too many contracts from the Duke without bothering to read them."

"…Oh boy." Flynn knew where this was going. He still remembered how the little dwarf had trapped Opal when he wasn't happy.

"Indeed," Norris nodded. "About half of them included a few clauses that entitled the Duke to take collateral directly from their kingdom if his own finances ever suffered a shortfall. By investing in his business, they unwittingly agreed to cover his losses with their own fortunes as 'reimbursing their investment'."

Flynn stared in shock as his friend continued to explain the details. Money damages weren't adequate? Injunctive or equitable relief in addition to other remedies? Whoa. As much as he tried to avoid the business world, Flynn was no idiot; he could read between the lines of what his friend was telling him. The Duke could basically do anything he wanted as restitution.

"He could really do all that to a foreign kingdom?"

"There's a lot you can do when someone gives their consent with a royal signature and seal," Norris pointed out. "Naturally, their king was absolutely furious, especially when the Duke demanded their family's winter estate as 'default repayment' for the special rubies they paid with. He always turned a blind eye to whatever antics his thirteen sons got up to, but this crossed the line. And apparently, one of the other siblings - Prince Hans, I believe – took the chance to come forward with an extensive list he had been making over the years of the twin's many other misuses of their kingdom's resources. Long story short, the King of the Southern Isles finally put his foot down. He voided all contracts, severed all ties with the Duke, and Princes Rudi and Runo have been officially disinherited. About time he started reigning his family in if you ask me."

A slow smile crept over Flynn. He honestly didn't care that he'd now have to wait a few years to sell those rubies. In all his travels, he had never encountered an example of the upper class as vile and loathsome as the twins. To hear that the Duke had lost a valuable ally and those twins lost both their royal privileges and their claim to the throne? He was almost squirming with glee. Sweet, sweet poetic justice!

"I know that look," Norris grinned. "And you know what's even better? With the Duke's influence at the weakest it's ever been, a lot of good folks are finally able to get back on their own feet. Especially here in Corona! Weselton was one of the best jobs you've pulled yet!"

"Uh, yeah! You saw right through me!" Flynn exclaimed. "That was absolutely my plan from the start, no question!"

At that moment, Norris' attention was drawn to a man that slipped in through the front door and headed straight for the chef. Flynn knew what the man was the moment he saw the way he moved.

"Hey, Norris!" The new arrival greeted genially. "Thought you should know; my old friends just heard about some prized rare game in the region and are gearing up for a big hunting trip, so they'll be here for an early lunch."

The Honeycomb's master turned impassive. "I'll have the cooks ready."

The man nodded and promptly left. Norris exhaled slowly before leaning to whisper something in Flynn's ear. The thief was still for a moment. Then he snickered and gave his friend a shrug. "Anyways, there's something I could use your help with. I didn't exactly make my dramatic exit from Weselton alone…"

"Ah, you must mean the dancer that went missing from the Duke's staff," Norris smiled knowingly. "Opal Valentina, was it?"

Damn, he's good. Scary good.

"Um, yes, she was in just a little bit of trouble with the Duke…"

"Because Vidame Stadfeltt offered his niece up as unconditional collateral instead of repaying the loans to cover his gambling debts, and so the Duke was entitled to extend her service indefinitely."

Seriously. What the bloody hell?

"… and she arrived here on the same ship as I did, Norris. I've heard a lot about how wonderful Corona is and everything, and thought it'd be easy for her to find a new life of her own here. Think you can help?"

Norris turned contemplative for a few minutes before glancing at his own staff. "I can make that happen. In fact, if she's good enough to work at the Duke's mansion, and a dancer at that, she can have a place right here at the Honeycomb if she wants it. We always have a few extra positions around the time of the festival."

Flynn glanced around. It was certainly a pleasant place to work. Friendly staff and customers, good conditions and he knew from experience how generous Norris was with his hospitality. "Yeah, I think she'll enjoy a place like this. Especially as a nice change after such demanding work with Weselton's 'fine nobility' with nothing in return."

"No worries about that!" Norris nodded. "Bring her right over, and I'll see what I can do."

Flynn breathed in satisfaction and took another sip of mead, finding it deliciously sweet and warm, not scorching. "Well, Nasaltown is now finally behind me, and here I am in Corona. Who knows? Perhaps this is where I'll make my next fortune."

"Fortune? I thought you just made trouble."

The thief laughed at the good-natured jab. "Touché, my friend, touché!"

At that moment, Giselle arrived with Flynn's dessert. "Here we are, some of our finest French vanilla ice cream topped with chocolate mousse, bim-berries, and cinnamon."

Flynn nodded his thanks and dug right in with his spoon. Immediately, his mouth rejoiced. He could almost feel himself melt at the delicious taste and texture. Soft, creamy and luscious. And wow, Corona sure had some good berries!

Giselle turned the chef with a serious look in her eyes, not even stealing a glance at Flynn for once. "Capocuoco, the guests are getting restless. Where are Zelinsky and his Seahaven performers?"

Norris grimaced and wrung his towel with concern. "I've heard no word from the docks, their ship hasn't even arrived."

"They're not coming?" The woman's eyes were frantic. "Norris, you know the Honeycomb is the most popular restaurant in the capital, and we're supposed to offer live entertainment during the festival. This is supposed to be opening day for everyone here, do you know how many customers are complaining? Some haven't even ordered!"

"Giselle," the chef sighed. "I know it looks bad but remember that I always have back-up plans. I have one being set up right now and I estimate it'll be ready in less than fifteen minutes."

The brunette blinked. "Fifteen minutes? Are you sure?"

"I guarantee it, or I'll personally make free desserts for everyone present all day." Giselle seemed mollified enough by the answer and left to inform the rest of the Honeycomb.

"Wow," Flynn chuckled at the exchange as he finished another spoonful of his ice cream. "The folks around here do love this festival of theirs, huh?"

"It's been an honored tradition for the kingdom for almost twenty years, it means a great deal to them. Especially now," Norris explained. "Things have been pretty hard for Corona lately. People need something that still gives them joy, a sense of hope during somber times. They want entertainment as much anything else. My restaurant offers theater, music and other special shows during this time of year. I've got quite a reputation with the locals, so I need to keep my promises."

Norris started to regale Flynn with everything about the Festival of Lanterns. It was the only celebration in Corona that was even bigger to the locals than their annual Gopher Grab contest. People would flock from all over the kingdom to take part as they prepared for the Day of the Lost Princess. There were races, games, feasts, singing, dancing, a couple of tournaments, the list just went on! Most of it sounded like the handsome thief would have a lot of great fun to look forward to. Although he wasn't as crazy about things like the theater and special art exhibits.

"I don't want to sit still and watch others do something," Flynn said. "I wanna do something on my own. Come on, we'll have a whole week to blag, beg and busk our way around the kingdom. Anything shiny and expensive?"

"Careful Flynn, security is a little tighter during the festival so don't go thieving around. Not every day at least, ha!" Norris chuckled. "No seriously though, I've heard this bizarre rumor that law enforcement doesn't like criminals."

"Exactly!" Flynn didn't miss a beat. "It's dangerous work, so I should make a killing. Where does it say that crime doesn't pay?"

"The dictionary?"

"Never heard of it."

"Well anyways, anyone that isn't here for the Lanterns is here for the carnevale. Most of them looking to drink big, party big, bet big. And all of that costs money, so they'll be bringing a lot of it."

Flynn nodded with a knowing smile. Thieves loved festivals, carnivals, and parties. With so many people and so many distractions, it was a thief's bread and butter. From dawn till past midnight, they roved the streets, picking pockets or planning heists. Some of the more generous groups even used such parties to plant their stolen wealth on the poorest people they could find.

"Making bets, you say?" He inquired. "There's gambling here? Anything with a deck of cards?"

"Haven't you cleaned out enough card players?" Norris lamented. "Trust me, you'll have a lot more fun at the races and tournaments. Those are some of the biggest highlights of the festival that people look forward to all year, and everyone finds that far livelier than at the card tables. Don't worry, there's always plenty of major bets there."

"Fine, but I still prefer cards," Flynn grumbled. Much as he loved excitement, card games were comfortably more predictable. Tournaments and races had too many variables to keep track where anything could happen, whereas a skilled card player could read his opponents and control the flow of the game. "Anything else? Like what about that big, tall palace up there? I saw it back on the ship before I could even see the rest of the kingdom!"

It was true. Anyone that grew up on the streets always found it hard to not have their eyes drawn to the lavish upper-class estates that always reminded everyone of their differences in status, especially the estates that housed royalty. And not even a blind man could possibly miss the sight of the massive castle sitting square at the center top of Corona's capitol. While this kingdom's royal palace wasn't as overly gaudy or luxurious as most others that Flynn had seen in his travels, it was certainly one of the tallest. One had to wonder what they kept inside…

"I know what you're thinking, Rider. You're a man with serious boundary issues, you know that?"

"What's wrong with that? Every royal palace has fancy valuables lying around. Just sitting there uselessly, helping no one and gathering dust. Loads of dust. You know, being the thoughtful person that I am, I should head over there and do a little spring cleaning…"

"It's summer." Norris deadpanned.

"Whoa, they're really behind on the cleaning!" Flynn gasped. "All that poor treasure being so woefully neglected, kind of offends me just on principle. Seriously, that's cruel to the point of abuse. Which is illegal. And as an upstanding citizen, I am honor-bound to liberate such priceless treasure of their abusive caretakers into my well-meaning possession, as God intended."

Norris was struggling not to laugh. "Sometimes Rider, I can't tell if you're serious or not."

"Oh relax, this isn't like Albion. It'll be simple!"

"Every time should have been simple." The chef chuckled in nostalgia. "What were we at, oh for nine?"

"Pffft… nine…"

"I rest my case. Always looking for the next way to make another quick fortune, huh?" Norris sighed. "Flynn, here's some advice from a successful and happy man: One tree, no matter how grand, does not make a forest."

The thief blinked. Then he snickered. "That sounds like something from a fortune cookie."

"Those cookies pack a lot of wisdom, ragazzo!"

"Ohhhh-kay…" Flynn sweatdropped. Note to self: Don't make fun of food in front of the chef.

"But anyway, you should wait before planning any after-hours visits to the palace until after the Festival. Whatever you find yourself doing, you simply mustn't miss the Floating Lanterns." A wistful faraway look glazed over the chef's eyes. "It's the very center of the Festival of Lanterns, hence the name; everything else in the celebration revolves around it, nothing but fanciful accessories to the true sacrament of the festival. I tell you, there just isn't anything like it."

The thief's interest was immediately piqued at his friend's glowing appraisal. "Well don't just leave me hanging, tell me about the thing!"

"First, you need to understand what it means. Remember how someone once abducted a baby from the royal family here?"

Flynn immediately scowled. Everyone in the world of thieves had heard the story from Corona. Almost twenty years ago, someone slipped into the royal palace, snatched the newborn child from its crib and then vanished without a trace, never heard from again.

Stealing a child? Such an act was taboo for thieves everywhere. It was an unspoken rule that true thieves were quiet and precise; they stole money that they didn't have, they didn't steal people. Only brazen thugs and brutish mercenaries ever took part in the dirty business of kidnapping and destroying lives. Even heartless thieves never went after children. After all, being in possession of hot goods was one thing but you never wanted the wrong kind of attention after you. Not only was it simply despicable on so many levels but stealing a child would put a vengeful target on your back until the end of your days. And stealing royal children was nothing less than suicidal, akin to pirates that were marked by the infamous Black Spot. Anyone that kidnapped a royal child was a dead man walking.

If that wasn't enough, the news of the abduction had caused dire consequences for outlaws as soldiers and law enforcement everywhere made life ten times more difficult for them ever since. The criminal underworld viciously cursed the infamous abduction as much as they were perplexed by it. Nothing about it made sense. An old woman had come and gone almost like a ghost, never heard from again. No ransom, no demands, no trail. Who could have anything to gain from such an act? Had it been a foreign power trying to gain an advantage over Corona? Was it merely a common rogue with a personal vendetta against the royal family? And above all, how did a woman of such advanced age manage to slip into the castle undetected, grab the child and evade the pursuing Corona army before dropping off the face of the Earth like she never existed? How she did it and why remained a source of mystery among thieves to this day.

"Everyone has heard the story, Norris," Flynn answered, mentally pushing it aside. "What does it have to do with a bunch of paper lanterns?"

"Everything!" The chef exclaimed. "It's all part of the big tradition. Even after all this time, Corona still mourns the loss of their princess and longs for her return. The final night of the Festival is to show the people that we must still have hope during a day of grief or sorrow. A reminder that we still carry on even when others are gone. Even when the sun sets, life must still go on."

Flynn went still as he listened. Something about the warm poetry drew him in, his ice cream completely forgotten.

"As the twilight hour breathes its last, once the last ray of sun vanishes into the night, all of Corona gathers together to take part as they do every year. The king, queen, and the whole kingdom release thousands of lanterns into the night sky to act as beacons to light the way for the Lost Princess. All those lanterns represent the hope of an entire people for her to come home."

"Wow…" Flynn breathed in awe as he imagined such a sight.

"Indeed." Norris nodded with a wistful smile. "People come from all over just for that one night. To see all those lanterns floating over the bay into the sky? Nothing short of sublime. Every time is as magical as the first. It can make a believer out of anyone."

A beautiful and moving experience that carried meaning from the hearts of thousands? That was exactly what Flynn always lived for. To see magnificent sights that would make his heart sing, to hold rare treasures that so few others ever did, to live the greatest of adventures that would last him a lifetime. It was all he could ever want and would never let any opportunity pass.

"You can count me in!" he replied with earnest.

"I knew you would," the chef patted him on the shoulder. "We haven't done anything together in a long time, have we? I even know the best spots. You interested?"

"Oh, gladly!" Flynn laughed as he pictured what seeing those lanterns would be like. "It's amazing what some people will do in memory for just one person, isn't it?"

"You can be sure of that, just you wait." Norris nodded. "And get this: the king is offering a life of opulence as a reward for anyone that finds their lost piccina."

"Opulence?" Flynn perked up instantly. "Ooooh, I could use some opulence right now…"

"Well, the kingdom certainly hopes for Princess… erm…" Norris' brow furrowed. "Princess… oh, come on now, what was it?"

"Really, buddy?" Flynn asked incredulously. "You can learn the life story of one of the Duke's private staff, you can cut a prison sentence down from a decade to just a few weeks, but you don't remember the royalty of right where you live?" The thief laughed. Then he stopped as he suddenly went rigid.

"Hey, I don't exactly focus my network on folktale and urban legends. Now let's see, I know it was named after a type of flower. Wait, I think her name wa—"

But Flynn wasn't listening anymore. He tensed up as he felt his inner hawk suddenly cry out in warning.

SBAM!

The front door flew open with a loud bang, making everyone in the building jump in alarm before looking towards the sudden disturbance.

A wave of uniforms rushed in, their tall helmets strapped unmoving atop their heads, with white gloves and black leggings as spotless as the crimson jackets they wore underneath the gleaming golden armor proudly emblazoned with the insignia of the Corona Sun. Every man carried either long spears or short swords strapped to their side. Without hesitation, they spread out to cover the entrance in tight formation.

One man whose very composure screamed of high rank and authority marched forward as his fellows snapped to attention. At least, he seemed to be marching. Or maybe it was the way his back stayed so ramrod straight as he moved in any direction. Like there was a stick up his rear, maybe. The Captain of the Royal Guard's fierce gaze swept over everyone in the building before locking onto one man in particular. He pointed at him, like his finger was a sharp blade and straight.

"Flynn Rider!"

Ah, angry guards! And here he had thought that Corona was ignoring his boredom. Now he really did feel at home.

~o~O~o~

Captain Stilton of the Royal Guard could hardly believe it when he received the news from his daughter. Flynn Rider? Here? The man's capture was sought by nobles and royals in over a dozen different kingdoms. And yet here he was, a prize among prizes, just sitting there as if there was absolutely nothing wrong with the picture of relaxing comfortably in Corona's borders.

And now that the Captain had the chance to finally see and observe the man for himself, he was even more bewitchingly handsome than his reputation had boasted. The Captain hated him on sight, just for looking that pretty. His flawless complexion held a light tan that made for an almost creamy look that blended perfectly with the pleasant brown of his hair, where the strands seemed to really gleam under the sunlight. His lean frame was draped in a well-made vest, brightly blue with buckles that crossed his chest in a pattern that drew attention very directly to the strong, sturdy muscles of his chest.

He's a damn walking wet dream, the Captain snorted to himself.

No matter. His looks meant nothing to true authority, and they would serve him even less in the dungeon. Rider was in his kingdom now. He didn't care about his clearly exaggerated reputation; he was just another common thief like all the others. He was unarmed, outnumbered and outmatched. He had nowhere to go.

He just needed to get Norris and the civilians away from the outlaw. Norris was an upstanding citizen good friend and he wouldn't let Flynn Rider get his hands on him if it was the last thing he did. The Captain opened his mouth to address the Honeyco—

"Heeeey," Shorty called out. "The entert'nment's 'ere!"

… What?

A moment of silence took the Honeycomb. Then Rider took it back when he spoke up. "That's right folks! The show is finally here! Hey buddy, do you even know how long you've kept everyone waiting?"

The guards blinked. He had been expecting them? How could he even…?

"Enough." The Captain rebuked. "Flynn Rider! You are wanted for the willful commission of crimes infinite in quantity and sinister in nature, the most egregious of those are to be—!"

"Oi, buster! Is that your chin, or an allergic reaction?"

Silence.

"I'm totally not sorry for interrupting," Flynn was visibly struggling to hold in his laughter, even gripping the counter for support as he pointed a shaking finger at the Captain. "It's just… it's just! You have the second-most punchable face I've ever seen! You look like you're 98% chin!"

Norris' eyebrows shot up. Giselle's palms swallowed half her face, eyes wide with disbelief. Customers and guards alike both stared dumfounded at the thief. No one had ever spoken so blatantly to the Captain before.

The Captain in question stared in disbelief at Flynn. He had no words. The sheer audacity of the ignorant, foreign criminal astounded and infuriated him. And foreigner he surely was, for how else could he not know who he was so casually addressing?

Then Norris suddenly brightened as if he figured something out. "I told you it pays to have friends in the palace, Giselle!" He straightened up and turned to address the restaurant. "Ladies and gentlemen, I know you've been worried about the lack of… action. But as you can see, it takes a while to gather some volunteers from the Royal Guard and the Captain himself no less! We all know he's a busy man, so let's hear it for the good Captain, coming down here just for you!"

Everyone in the restaurant perked up in excited anticipation. All the personal attention and free service the handsome new arrival had been given, it all made sense! He was one of the hired performers for the Honeycomb's annual live entertainment for the Festival! And their host even got volunteers from the Royal Guard, just for them! The patrons leapt to their feet and the entire building rang with their cheers and storms of applause, several even putting fingers to their mouth to give adulating whistles.

"So this is it, Captain?" The chef called. "I'm grateful that you volunteered for this yourself, just for my little establishment. Well, let's get it on with it! Give what the people have been waiting for!"

At a signal from Norris, the staff quickly ushered the people over to the sides of the Honeycomb. In record time, the entire restaurant had parted to create plenty of space for whatever was about to happen, leaving only a few tables standing between Flynn and the guards.

The Captain was initially bewildered by such a reception, but it was starting to make sense. Norris and the other upstanding citizens of Corona had clearly recognized the scoundrel but were too petrified to even think of fleeing, even to warn the rest of the kingdom. No wonder they were so overjoyed at the Captain's appearance, the cavalry had arrived! Well, he was here to banish their fears by showing them that the royal guard would always protect them from the threat of Flynn Rider and others like him. Even better, Norris was already doing his duty by putting plenty of distance between Rider and the innocent bystanders. And if the man thought he could actually resist, then the people would enjoy the grand spectacle of his arrest, of the comforting strength of justice. Perhaps he could afford to make the situation a little more… legendary.

"Well then, now that that's done with," the Captain continued with a satisfied grin. "As I was saying! Flynn Rider, for crimes committed across the lands, by the authority granted in me by His Majesty the King, and perhaps with a good amount of personal satisfaction, I hereby place you in the custody of the courts and declare you to be my prisoner! Such is the fate of all scum like you!"

It did not help the Captain's mood at all that Rider had been struggling not to laugh during his speech, with his face clenched in a barely restrained smile and his entire frame visibly shaking. He was not even offended at being called scum but amused at the sheer absurdity of the rude demand. "Haha, wooo… Hey, erm, folks? I think… I think he's trying to arrest me without my consent!"

A few snickers traveled through the restaurant.

The thief straightened his back dramatically and loudly cleared his throat. "Eh-hem. Ah, yes! I am the legendary and infamously good-looking Flynn Rider! I cannot believe you have foiled my nefarious plans! Curse you, sir! You threw off my groove!"

The guards drew slightly back in befuddlement. "Wha—?"

Flynn suddenly pointed his finger dramatically. "And who are you, mister? State your name, rank and favorite brand of cereal!"

"Favorite cer—? Show some respect!" The man snapped, trying to reclaim control as several more chuckles escaped from the patrons. "You speak to Captain Stilton of the Royal Guard, sworn protectors of king and country! My family has served as loyal retainers to the crown since the kingdom's foundation! So, listen here! Put your hands up and get down on your knees. Now!"

Wow. He seems to have unreasonable self-confidence. Not like anyone I would know!

"Alright, Cap'n. Let me put it in Spanish… No."

"I beg your pardon?" Everyone watched as the Captain blinked as if he still expected Flynn to do precisely what he'd been told.

"Seriously pal, I've been chased by giant mercenaries, esteemed knights and trained guards. Oh, and people like you." His tone was flippant and unimpressed. "Tell you what officer? I'll let you off with a warning."

Loud snorts of muffled laughter gushed from the very entertained customers and waitresses while the other guards were looking at each other in complete befuddlement. What was going on? Didn't Rider understand how this worked? In all their years of service, every criminal had either surrendered or tried to flee rather than challenge them, let alone fight the Captain. They didn't act so flippant or laugh and make fun of them. It was supposed to be a perfect routine as always. Was it an off day? Regardless, they had little idea what to do now.

The Captain wasn't faring much better. "What is wrong with you, Rider? Put your hands up and get down on your knees! Do you not understand the gravity of your sins?!"

And people say that 'I' talk too much? Flynn could barely believe it; this was like listening to a stuck phonograph. Most men would have attacked him by now, but the Captain was just doing the same rhetoric spiel over and over as if repeating the same speech or tactic would magically work. Was he just that accustomed to easy success, or was it perhaps the only way he was taught to solve a problem? Likely both.

"Oh, I get it now!" A dramatic look of dawning comprehension came over Flynn's face as if a light had gone off in his head. "I'm to be arrested because I'm eating food that is fit for royalty!" He took a grandiose stance that looked like he was performing a paid advertisement. "That's right, folks! The Honeycomb, where everything is unlawfully delicious!"

"Here, here!" Several patrons raised their glasses. Everyone was happily enjoying the show, and a show it had to be! After all, speaking to the venerated Captain of the Guard so audaciously? Throwing the Royal Guard off their game with just simple witticisms? This was certainly staged. Why else would anyone do something so ridiculous?

"I said to get on your knees so that I can mete out your just dues!"

"You're not the boss of me, I'm famous!" Flynn shot back. "It's my word against all of yours, it makes sense when you think about it!"

Oh, how he just loved sending people into a bout of mental gymnastics. Or a 'devastating headache' as Norris had put it. The guards actually looked like they forgot where they were as their minds tried to figure out what he just said. "Alright, one last time Captain. How about you save yourself a lot of trouble, and just go home to your wife? Oh! Better yet, how about 'I' go home to your wife?"

Instantaneous reaction!

"What did you just say?!" The look on his face was priceless. He huffed and puffed and blew nothing down. "You... you filthy criminal! I'll teach you to talk back to me!"

"You don't need to teach me; I already know how!" Flynn flippantly dismissed. More peals of laughter rose from the audience. Just like he had done with the Duke's bald spot, manipulating a crowd was just so easy, not to mention entertaining.

"Shut your mouth, Rider! Or so help me I'll put you in the dungeons meant for the gallows!"

Huh, call him crazy but Flynn was pretty sure that the Captain just said, 'please say more'.

"Will you now? Then what are you standing around for? I could probably find me a woman or two to give me company in the time you've prattled on." Flynn grinned as some of the patrons laughed even harder while Giselle and every other waitress blushed furiously.

The Captain was starting to turn red in the face. "You dare mock me?!"

"Mocking? Oh, heavens no, I'm just bored. Do you want to hear mocking?" Flynn puffed up his chest, clasped his hands behind his back and deepened his voice. "I'm a royal lapdog with a bad attitude! Honor! Misplaced hostility! GRRRR!"

This time, it was the other guards who couldn't help but snort in stifled laughter. That must have hurt even more than anything that Flynn could have said. There was always a method to his madness, even when there wasn't. It was simple, really; pretend this was all part of a big show, make fun of the guards (both for the act and for personal entertainment), throw them off their game, then blindside them and skedaddle.

Much better than having a bar fight in his best friend's restaurant.

Unfortunately, the Captain had now steeled himself against Flynn's bizarre behavior. He simmered angrily for a long moment, grinding his teeth back and forth. Slowly. If only to reign his dwindling patience as he fixed him with a deadly scowl. "Disobeying a clear order for your arrest, refusing to even acknowledge your actions. Your abhorrent insolence and complete disregard for the king's authority is evidence enough that you understand nothing of the world, Rider. You think you know better, but worthless men like you don't need to know anything!"

Flynn went stiff as a board, his good cheer evaporating like snow in the Sahara.

The Captain took two steps forward as he spoke with icy contempt. "Look at you, a man of greed and vice gallivanting around with things he doesn't deserve and never will. Instead of graciously accepting the honest and thriving livelihood that your betters want for you to enjoy, you turn to spite and wanton debauchery. You need someone to give you order and stability, and you're too idiotic to even realize that's what the king does. You don't care for hard work, thus you only care for criminal gains and whatever else turns a profit. Sometimes I wonder why men like you can't simply know their place and do as they're told!"

A Weselton constable gleefully beating an innocent homeless man merely on the word of the nobility.

Two royal brothers harassing and striking a staff member for bringing the wrong bottle.

"Such entitlement from one born with nothing to their name. No family name, no holdings, no power. Remember your place."

Men like him didn't need to know anything? Oh, Flynn Rider could read between those lines quite well. Of course, men like him didn't need to know anything, because specific people were already there to know for him; to act for him, whether he wanted it or not! He already had a lifetime of hearing them from people like the Duke of Nasaltown and his fellows that thought they were more righteous and justified than anyone. Like all those nobles, this Captain was the type of person that he despised the most. He had some differences from the wealthy elite, of course, but the Captain was still cut from the same cloth, thinking of people like one of those children's toys by trying to put a square into a round hole and then getting mad when it didn't fit. The Captain called Flynn greedy; well, he could call him arrogant!

Another quick glance around showed that nearly the entire Honeycomb staff and half their customers looked mildly offended themselves. Even a few of the guards looked a little disgruntled at their superior's words.

His hawk had been alert the entire time, absorbed everything the moment the guards stepped through the door. Now, it had fixed its piercing gaze on the uniformed man, idly flexing its talons. From the way the Captain made an uncomfortable shift in his stance, it seemed like he could almost feel it.

His parting words to the Duke came rushing back to him. 'I am Flynn Rider! An independent man, adventurer and seeker of riches, free of all debt and beholden to no one!'

Alright then. He had been planning to slip away, but on second thought, he could really use that bar fight right now. He had issues to work out.

An excited grin spread across his face. The Captain saw it and began glowering again. "Not another word! Get down on the floor, now!"

Reverse psychology was a funny thing as Flynn was compelled to do the opposite. With one smooth movement, he took a nearby custard pie and flung it at the Captain's face with perfect accuracy.

SPLAT.

Like a switch, the entire restaurant froze in shock at the sight of the pie dish pasted to the Captain's face. Everything was as deathly silent as the morning mist. Even a pin wouldn't dare make a sound to break this silence. Norris' jaw had dropped. Giselle and the other serving girls had covered their mouths. And the other guards turned into horrified statues.

Time appeared to slow as the dish slid off inch by inch, clattering to the ground several seconds later. A trembling hand rose to wipe the white cream covering his eyes and nose, revealing eyes now brimmed with hellfire and an absolute promise of death.

Flynn was unfazed. "Hehehe... whoops."

"THAT'S IT!" Captain Stilton was livid, not having felt such anger in over a decade. The vile villain! What blatant disrespect! He had done the honorable thing and given the man the rare opportunity to acknowledge his crimes and ask for repentance, more courtesy than he deserved. But Flynn Rider only kept smiling broadly, like any other typical swindler would during one of their scams, and now he dared to ruin his uniform! Thieves – they all thought of it as a game, one that followed a very specific series of steps and so everything would easily go their way. This illusion always fell apart once the crooks were shown the stark reality that it never went as easily as they seemed to foolishly imagine it did. The Captain was no naïve greenhorn stumbling through his first patrol. No, he had done everything precisely as the rulebook explained. He had years of training and experience under his belt and had brought a squad of his very best men. He had been forewarned, he had come prepared, and he had cleverly cornered the quarry by blocking the only escape route. He had done every step properly and to the letter! With justice on their side, they could not fail!

But for a flickering moment, he had felt his confidence falter. When Flynn Rider had suddenly locked eyes at him just a moment ago, that intense gaze contradicted everything glib and flamboyant about him. For a brief instant, the Captain forgot himself; as if he hadn't cornered what he thought was prey but had offended a hunter of far greater caliber and standing than he. A cold icy beat pulsed from his heart as if he were a cub that had mistakenly bitten the tail of his own pack leader.

And then it was gone.

Captain Stilton had told his daughter Cassandra that they needed to be careful with a man of such reputation. But once he saw him in the flesh, Flynn Rider suddenly became a tangible thing instead of a fable, and then he fell right back into his common routine of addressing him like any other simple thug. Now an unsettling possibility dawned on him. What if this criminal's nonchalant attitude was born from the confidence of experience just as the Captain was confident from his own? What if the rumors of Flynn Rider were true? That the scoundrel before him was an entirely different league?

If that was the case, then he couldn't waste any more time.

The atmosphere changed in an instant at the sharp sound of the Captain unsheathing his cutlass, his men immediately raising their own weapons. "One way or another, you're coming with me to stand trial and learn the true meaning of punishment! Do you intend to resist further?"

"Oh, don't be so stupid!" Flynn retorted as if the answer was obvious. "Of course I intend to resist, just give me a moment to prepare!"

And the thief went back to his ice cream.

…

…

…

All eyes stared at the man in bewilderment. Acting like there was absolutely nothing wrong with enjoying the rest of his dessert in front of heavily armed guards. Twenty seconds passed. As he made to slip another sweet spoonful into his mouth, he paused before glancing back at the room, as if only now noticing that everyone was staring at him.

"I'm not sharing."

He took another bite and turned his back again.

… Never mind, the man was just an idiot! The Captain's sword lowered as he buried his face in his other hand. How did he put his guard up for this kind of child's play? Rider was just another lazy thick-headed idiot.

He gestured to two of his men. "Take him."

Swords at the ready; the two men promptly advanced on either side of the thief. He made no sign to stop eating, let alone cooperate. The two glanced at one another, then nodded. The first guardsman kept his weapon poised while the other sheathed his sword, took out a pair of iron shackles, reached out to grab his arm—

The corner of Flynn's mouth twitched upward in a smirk.

Several things suddenly happened at once. The first guard's face was covered by Flynn's ice cream, the second one was slammed face-first into the counter, Flynn was standing on his feet and there was a flash of movements. And for the life of them, no one could say in what order it happened.

Everyone had just barely enough time to see Flynn somehow slip the second guard's belt off (causing his pants to fall down) before slamming his boot against the dazed man's armored back, sending him into a nearby table. The thief spun back around to the first guardsman who had frantically wiped off the ice cream blindfold. Like a magician manipulating a deck of cards, Flynn swiftly wrapped the belt around the man's sword hand and expertly twisted the weapon's handle out of his grip. With a newly acquired sword in hand, the thief slapped the guard's shin with the belt to keep his posture exposed while he slammed the sword pommel against the man's helmet with a clang.

The man went still. He blinked a few times like he was seeing stars. Or tweedy birds. Then slumped to the ground.

Two guardsmen already unconscious, and it had all happened in just a few seconds.

Flynn enjoyed little more than moments like these; that single moment when you pulled the wool over someone's eyes, tricked them with a spectacle, and then pounced on them like a diving hawk on a fleeing mouse. Oh, it was simply exhilarating. And it also took the rest of the Royal Guard by surprise if their flabbergasted expressions were any indication.

The handsome thief tested his new sword's weight and grip. Satisfied, he flourished the blade in a quick display of spins and twirls before setting into a stance with his sword at the ready and smiling at the Captain.

"And now, I am prepared to resist you."

Hello, Captain! Flynn Rider is going to be your rival for this story, I hope you understand.

Ummm... Can't believe it took me this long to finish the chapter. I do apologize for that. It should have been out in roughly half the time by mid-May. But life enjoys making different plans for you. University, family troubles, video games... I'm sure one of those is important. This chapter was also meant to include Flynn and the Captain's first fight, but there have been enough delays so I decided to post it as a cliffhanger. Rest assured, I'm still very excited for the bar fight and will have it up as soon as I can! Hopefully, before the rest of the semester is out! And thanks again to DarkDragonfires12, my beta and dear friend, for helping me every step of the way!

A great thanks to all who have come to read and enjoy! And an especial thanks to and all who review, fave and follow! As always, your comments, thoughts and constructive criticism are appreciated and welcomed. Those are what inspire me; the more love you share, the faster I work!

Disclaimer: I do not own Disney nor the Tangled franchise. Everything original you will see, such as OCs, are mine.