Lessons to Learn

Chapter 13

A/N: This is officially the longest chapter, and it's an important one. So, I hope you guys enjoy it :) (I also think I've never had a chapter with this much dialogue.) Please leave a review! I would very much like to hear your thoughts!

Friday ended in a silent explosion. When Cora got home, it was much later than she had ever planned to return. The night had already set, and she was greeted by weird expressions from her family. She partly got their reactions. It wasn't the norm that she got home in the dark on a Friday night. Sybil threw a quizzical look at Cora when she closed the front door behind herself and exhaled with force.

"Hey, you alright?" Sybil asked as she paused for a moment at the feet of the stairs.

"Yes, sure." Cora slipped out of her coat. Sybil nodded shortly and made her way upstairs. She was in a strange mood Cora thought. When she then approached the living room, she heard muffled voices from inside.

"She'll surely be here soon," Edith said. A snort came in response.

"Well, this is the least," Robert said in a tone that rang some alarm bells for Cora.

"No matter what you say I know that you're also worried for her. After all, you don't know where she is," Mary inserted when Cora put her hand on the door handle.

"You're such a great help, Mary!" Edith spat sarcastically. "Remind him of his worries, of course, you would do that," she hissed.

Cora opened the door fully and saw her husband sitting on the sofa, his elbows resting on his knees, his palms cupping his face. Mary and Edith stood to either side of him, facing each other with vicious looks. Edith had her arms crossed in front of her chest, and Cora could see that she had already the next gib sitting on the tip of her tongue when Robert intervened.

"Alright, it's enough, girls. You can go up–" He had lifted his gaze while talking and his eyes landed on her in the doorway. Edith followed his look.

"Mama!" She turned to Cora. Her arms fell down to her sides. Cora didn't know what to say. The question that was on her mind since she had entered the house was What is going on here? Things seemed strange. But she was afraid it wasn't right to ask this. I'm home, didn't seem right either. They seemed to have waited for her anxiously.

Her eyes sought Robert again, trying to forefeel what might have happened in her absence and what mood he was probably in. The surprise and relief that had painted his face at first were replaced by reserve and… was it also disappointment?

Cora gulped. Damn, this didn't appear rosy! She came home with a head full of chaos and concerns just to be confronted with another load of troubles. She made a tentative step into the room which ripped the others from the short trance they'd been in. Robert waved his hand with a shooing gesture to send the girls out of the living room, and Mary immediately followed his instructions. Edith mustered Cora for a moment and in passing, she gave her a semi-smile and her hand brushed Cora's arm lightly before both daughters were out in the hallway. Cora didn't move until the sound of the door falling into the lock echoed in the room. She made another step forward, rubbing her hands together unsure. It was absurd that she was this nervous when coming home.

"Hey," was all she could think of to say at this moment.

"Where have you been?" Robert asked, his tone resolute.

"Well, I had to sort out some things on short notice at school. With me having to hand over some of my classes, there are still things to be settled. And Oliver had some questions so I –" she began explaining and approached her husband's whereabouts on the sofa while talking.

"Oliver?" he interrupted and rose from his seat. With a short step to the side, he widened the space between them again.

"Yes, he is now teaching one of my art classes," she argued and was about to further clarify when Robert disrupted her again.

"And what did you and Oliver do until nightfall?" Cora saw how Robert clenched his hands at his sides. He must be really upset.

"Well, we talked about the art class and what to do with the students in the next weeks and then Oliver was so friendly as to invite me to a small dinner when he noticed I was hungry."

"Oh, so you had dinner with Oliver?" he asked in a mocking tone and he spat out Oliver's name with obvious disgust that wasn't actually typical for him. "Did I get that right, you went on a dinner date with Oliver, your oh-so-irrelevant colleague?"

Cora sighed. She hated to defend and explain herself in front of him, especially when he had this temper of his.

"I'm sorry, Robert," she said weakly. "But it was no date. We just grabbed something on the way home."

"Cora, it's 8 pm!" he yelled. Now it was Cora who recoiled slightly. "What did you do all the time? We – you and I – had a date!"

"I – We what?" She was dumbfounded. Her lips moved silently but she couldn't quite grapple with the absurdity of today's events. She couldn't remember a date they had planned for today, not for the life of it. Did they talk about it? Slowly she remembered that there was some talk about going out for dinner in the future. Maybe he once did ask her about going to a restaurant, the French one, some time. In the back of her head, she recalled something like this but she had thought it was a vague plan, an idea because they should do something like that again not because they would really manage to put it into practice (not because it really was his priority at the moment). Did he really want to take her out to the sweet French place today? The confusion that marked her reaction stole Robert's thunder a little. His tense shoulders relaxed and slumped.

His answer was breathed, "You forgot."

"Robert, I… I really don't remember. I'm…" she stuttered and made a few steps toward him again. Her palms were stretched out for him. "I'm sorry," she ended resignedly. She couldn't bear to watch his disappointed and hurt face any longer so she dropped her head and waited for the warm contact of his hands as she made the last step in his direction, offering her hands placatory.

"That's it? You're sorry? You don't waste a single thought on us, our marriage, on me and a simple 'I'm sorry' should solve it like this?"

Her head shot up again, her hands fell to her sides. With wide eyes, she mustered his raging appearance. "That's unfair, Robert!" she breathed in disbelief.

"How is it unfair to you?"

"Don't insinuate that I don't care about our marriage because you know very well that I do! How can you say I don't waste a single thought on us?" she exclaimed.

"Because apparently, you don't. You can't remember anything about our date and you don't even bother to inquire further about it now. You missed our date – you stood me up, Cora – and the whole deal is done for you with a simple 'I'm sorry'. I really don't see where you started thinking about us at least once here."

"Well, did you… Did you at least manage to have a nice evening after all?" Cora asked, trying to be a little mediating and caring but she knew it was a very poor attempt.

"Would you call it a nice evening if you sat in a restaurant at a table for two all on your own, having to start dinner alone after half an hour?"

"You really were at the restaurant?" Cora asked with surprise. "You waited there for me?"

"Of course, I did! It didn't appear to me that you wouldn't show up at all."

"Gosh, Robert! I'm sorry!"

"Yeah, as much you had said already," he gave back disgruntledly. When Cora thought he would turn away from her to break off the discussion, Robert lifted his face to her once again. His expression didn't portray the former fury now but unagitated incomprehension. He slowly shook his head. "I just don't get how. How can you be this absent? I don't get it, Cora." His calm voice scratched something deep within her chest. Her heart squeezed painfully at his apparent resignation.

She tried again to find the right words, to explain what he wanted to understand, but she stayed silent because she couldn't find them. The right words.

"But, Robert…" Cora spoke softly. "I'm here now, right?" That was all she could give at the moment. With all her force, she pushed away the suppressing thoughts of all the threatening concerns and tried to find what she could give now. "Now I'm here," she repeated quietly.

"I'm not sure you are," Robert replied as he mustered her sadly before he turned to the door. Cora's heart beat in desperation and she took to his heels. She wouldn't let this situation go to ruin; she couldn't let this happen.

"But I am, Robert. Hey, I am." She put her palm on his shoulder and stepped in front of him to stop him in his tracks. He looked down at her waitingly. She laced her arms around his chest and rested her head against his shoulder. She didn't like to force embraces. She didn't usually do that. Now she knew again why. It didn't feel as warm as the embraces she loved. Even though he did slowly put his hands on her waist there was a distance between them. Even though her head moulded perfectly into the crook of his neck their fusion felt slightly tense, nearly ill-matched.

But still, Cora was glad she made that step. Maybe Robert was at least a little reassured of her presence. She dearly hoped so.

When her head grew heavier and exhaustion pulled like plummets at her body, Robert pushed her away slightly. He looked into her eyes and he must have seen the dark circles and the heavy lids for he asked what she was too afraid to utter.

"You're tired, right?"

Cora nodded. "I'm sorry," she said again.

"Stop it, Cora," he said quietly. "Let's go to bed but please, stop apologising." A few seconds later he added, "That's no use."

And so, they went to bed. Quietly and thoughtfully. They did their actions in synchrony; ascending the stairs, turning lights off and on, brushing their teeth next to each other… When the bedside lamps finally went extinguished, they lay side by side silently and motionless. The tiredness tied Cora to the mattress and her eyes fell close as soon as the lights went out, but her mind was busy with heavy topics. It didn't take long and her eyes snapped open again. Her thoughts ran multiple circles at once, trying to juggle the different problems. There was one question, however, that came up again and again and pushed itself in the foreground of her conscience with repeated urge.

When? When had she been careless? When had there been the moment, she had missed out on noticing what had hit her today when she walked the school's hallways with Oliver? God damn, she couldn't imagine what had gone wrong! That's why there had to be another explanation. Maybe it was just time now for things to get more and more irregular. She was still rather young for that she had thought but everyone was different, and maybe it was due earlier for her than for others.

She sighed. Robert turned in the sheets in reaction, and Cora was afraid she had caught his attention. Explaining her bottomless worries right now was the last thing she wanted. She wouldn't want to tell him at all. Not right now and actually not ever if it wasn't necessary. He had been so concerned after the diagnosis sixteen years ago and always so alarmed at any possible chance that there might have developed a danger for her. It was horrible to be the reason for his uneasiness and anxiety. He shouldn't be worrying about her existence every time a minor irregularity arose. And now, that he wasn't exactly well disposed towards her his reaction would not only be one of anxious worrying but probably also of furious reproaches. So, talking to him right now was really the last Cora wanted.

She tried to make out his form in the dark. He had turned around and it seemed he lay with his back to her now. That was alright for her. She was happy if he got his sleep even if she would lay awake all night. Of course, she would try to shut off the train of thoughts that started running wild. Her brain didn't produce anything useful anyway tonight. But she wasn't that optimistic that she would be successful in turning off her brain.

…

On Saturday morning Cora sat at the kitchen island, her forehead in her palms, her eyes drowning in the dark liquid in the cup in front of her. Her glass of orange juice sat another arm's length away from her just as untouched as the black coffee. She hadn't slept a wink and with every desperate turn in the sheets, she felt more horrible about herself. It seemed she had messed up a row of things and it was on her now to somehow fix things again.

Sybil was scurrying around her, more active than last week when she had started practising her early rising. Apparently, she prepared something she wanted to do with Rose later. Cora had difficulties following Sybil's stories. She gathered that the two girls had had a lot of fun over the week (Cora had to admit that she didn't notice all the things Sybil now told her the two had done in the last days. Why didn't she know that they had been to the cinema twice this week?), and now Sybil already planned the next thing for her new friend.

"… and Rose said she loved the icing so I wanted to look if we still have enough ingredients to make some more biscuits like that." Sybil rummaged in the kitchen shelf behind Cora, and the crackling noises began pounding in Cora's head.

"Hmm," she hummed weakly in response. She tried to think of a way to tell Sybil nicely that Rose should not come over today. Cora couldn't bear the extra chaos. And she also didn't want yet another person to be privy to her ill-fated attempt at rectifying her shortcomings. This weekend would be difficult enough as it was.

"Sybil darling," she began. Slowly she lifted her head from her hands and waited for Sybil's bustle to pause.

"Yes?"

"I am happy you and Rose have so much fun with each other," Cora stated. "I think Rose hadn't dreamed of finding such a nice friend here in London." Her tone must have shown that wasn't what she was actually getting at.

"But?" Sybil inquired. "What about it?"

"Maybe you can invite Rose over another time. Today is not very ideal," Cora explained while spooning loads of sugar into her coffee unknowingly.

"Why not?" Sybil now walked over to the kitchen counter. She

"Because it's just too much, okay?" Cora's patience was fleeting. Her annoyed tone rebuffed Sybil who acknowledged her with a confused and concerned look.

"Okay…" she responded cautiously.

Cora's short temper in the morning resulted in Sybil slightly avoiding her until noon. Maybe it was her way of respecting Cora's mood, maybe she didn't know how to handle her mother any other way. Cora didn't think that Sybil was cross. That wouldn't be very like her. Apparently, Sybil had warned her sisters, though, because Cora was spending the majority of the morning on her own. Robert was mostly taciturn and disappeared into his study after sleeping in. He got himself his morning coffee from the kitchen and accepted the slices of toast Cora offered him wordlessly with a nod. He wasn't in the mood to seek her contact. Cora couldn't blame him. Now, after having it let sunken in for multiple hours Cora realised what a prick she had been. Robert had every right to be hurt. He was such a sweet man and she now saw that everything about this dinner date had been about her. He had planned it all for her, and she had acknowledged nothing of it. She had just accepted that she had missed it because her mind was elsewhere but that was nothing Robert could help so it was unfair to take it out in him.

But with him seeking refuge in his study until lunch there was little Cora could do to make things right again.

The full-on explosion happened at lunch. The chaos started simmering already during lunch preparations. Cora was a bit swamped by the different demands so she called for the girls to help her. Surprisingly it was Edith and Mary who appeared first, nearly together, in the doorway of the kitchen.

"Could you please set the table? I already put the right plates here," Cora said and pointed to the stack of blue adorned plates on the kitchen table. Her other hand swirled a ladle nimbly in the pot of the sauce.

"Sure," Edith answered but Mary took the plates just as Edith was about to reach out for them. "Hey!" she exclaimed. Mary buzzed off toward the dining table with a slightly peeved Edith in tow. For a fleeting moment, Cora thought it was as when they were little and Mary had gotten hold of the sand toys first so that Edith had to follow her empty-handed to the sandbox. Even if it was about helping Cora, they managed to make an argument about it.

Cora heard them bickering from the adjoint dining room.

"You have to make everything about you, don't you?" Edith spat.

"Oh, come on, Edith!" Mary groaned. "Just because your life is so boring you have to argue about who gets to set the plates doesn't mean you have to blame it on me."

"Why do you have to hurt people just to feel good about yourself?"

The clattering of the plates grew more agitated. Cora had to take a deep breath to keep her pulse down. The girls' fight strained her already thin nerves. Thankfully Sybil appeared in the kitchen then with a light demeanour, unbothered by the argument that happened next door.

"What can I do, Mama?" she asked, bobbing on the balls of her feet.

"Maybe…" Cora thought if it really was right to send Sybil into chaos as well. No, Edith and Mary would manage on their own. "… you could see how Papa is doing. I think he is in his study. Tell him lunch is ready in five minutes."

"Alright!"

When they gathered around the table, the atmosphere was very loaded. Robert avoided looking at Cora while Mary's and Edith's attention was on each other constantly without them wanting to show it. Both only waited for the other to make a wrong step. Cora was already (or still?) rather exhausted and tried her best to ignore the constant fluctuations in the atmosphere of the room.

"Oh, Mama. Are these chickpeas in there?" Edith asked warily and poked into the contents of her plate.

"Yes, why?" Cora looked up from her own plate.

"I don't know, I just think I might not tolerate them. The last time I ate them I thought I might have something like an allergy against legumes and kinds," Edith explained with an expression of awkwardness.

"Ugh, Edith," Mary groaned and rolled her eyes. "Don't tell stuff like that just to feel important."

Everyone around the dining was silent, waiting for Edith's response to Mary's blow.

Edith knew about Mary's secret. It was foolish of Mary to think that just because she didn't care about the people around her, others would notice just as little about her. Edith had indeed noticed her sister's more secretive behaviour lately. It hadn't exactly been her intention to find out the whole lot but as it happened, she couldn't help but overhear a conversation that enlightened her quite a lot. Mary's beau seemed to be the root of all troubles and he appeared to be just the kind of guys Mary would mingle with. It was no wonder and just right she had to pay the price afterwards.

One day Edith came home from school a little earlier because the last lessons of the day had been cancelled. On her way to the downstairs bathroom, she passed Mama's study, a particularly nice room in the house, and through the tiny crack, that formed when a door slipped out of the lock a little again, she heard parts of a conversation from the inside. Edith's interest was immediately sparked and it turned out she wasn't disappointed by the actual content she witnessed.

When Edith had heard what her mother suggested Mary should do about the affair, she had decided that she would ensure that it really would be put into practice like that. Melissa had the right to know what Edith's conniving sister and this Kemal guy had done in the dark of the night. That Mary would really tell Melissa herself was something Edith had not believed. But the raging Turkish 'gentleman' at the front door was proof of it. 'I told you I can sort it out myself!' he had hissed at Mary who had blocked the entrance with her cold charisma. 'Apparently, you couldn't. Otherwise, I wouldn't have had to do it,' she had said with no trace of agitation. It both irritated and mesmerised Edith. Mary wasn't bothered by the intimidating demeanour of Kemal (and Edith was a little bit in awe of this ability) but Mary wasn't bothered by anyone's emotion. Her cold heart disgusted Edith. So even though, Melissa knew Edith couldn't shake off the feeling that justice was not really done. Edith wasn't convinced Mary learned the right deal from the predicament. Her snobby demeanour irked Edith to no end. Knowing Mary's secret didn't help at being understanding toward her.

"And you had to sleep with another girl's boyfriend to feel important, aren't I right?" Edith said with a voice so calm one could mistake it for a simple innocent question. Cora thought she had never done a better job at hiding her inner turmoil. That didn't change that her comment made Cora's heart run at devil's speed beneath her ribs.

Mary tried her typical eye-roll but the darkening shade on her cheeks revealed the truth that lay in her sister's words. "Really, Edith? That is your comeback?"

Cora thought that even Mary had to admit it was a stronger comeback than Mary herself could have given at that moment.

The sound of cutlery hitting the clothed surface of the table pulled the attention from the two sisters. "Might I ask what this is all about, Mary?" Robert demanded in a dangerously low tone.

Mary threw a short yet crushing look at Edith before turning to her father, trying to ease his worry with her best attempt at a sugary voice. "It's nothing, Papa. Edith is just trying to stir some drama." She devoted herself to her food, acting as cool as a cucumber.

"Oh, and who was the Turkish handsome 'sweetheart' that knocked on our door on Thursday, complaining about you telling his girlfriend about your night at the hotel? That was no one I guess," Edith inserted. She visibly enjoyed the slow torture Mary experienced. The following silence dragged on longer than Cora could bear. She pondered if she should come to Mary's rescue somehow but she couldn't think of a way this could be salvaged for her. And a selfish part of her did not want to get into Robert's line of fire.

"Mary Josephine Crawley!" he now roared.

"It's not that big of a deal," Mary argued. "I am grown-up after all, and I can do what I want. To my defence, I didn't know of his relationship at that point."

"I don't care about what you didn't know about him at that point. It should be reason enough to stop anything happening between you and any man if you don't know such crucial things about him!" Robert made clear in the most furious way he could. His fist turned white slowly and drops of saliva flew across the table as he screamed.

"Gosh, Papa! It's my decision at what point I decide to sleep with a man," Mary gave back.

"I won't let my daughters risk their future like that. Did I make myself clear?"

"Don't be so uptight! I didn't risk anything," Mary rebuked. Cora knew that Mary knew better.

"Oh, Mary, you're so naïve! I hope you know how these kinds of affairs end," Robert's tone had calmed a bit. That didn't change his patriarchal demeanour in any way. Cora was repelled by the condescending manner he had adopted.

"What do you mean, 'these kinds of affairs'?" Mary was irked.

"I hope for you, Mary, you aren't as stupid as you act right now. Otherwise, my worries if you used protection will be more than justified," Robert said threateningly.

Cora's jaw dropped. She couldn't process Robert's words fast enough to defend her daughter. Now Sybil and even Edith emitted outraged noises.

"I don't have to answer that," Mary said. She was done with the conversation.

"There will be no BABIES in this house!", Robert bellowed.

Cora winced at the loud exclamation and gulped at realising she had to check something very soon.

The girls fell silent, shocked at their Papa's outburst of fury. Sybil was the one to find her voice first.

"But, Papa, you can't order that to anyone here, but me. They're all grown women. It's their choice. And I'd hope you would let me stay in this house too if I'd have a baby," Sybil said statesmanlike.

"Is there something you have to tell us, Sybil?" his voice was dangerously low.

"Of course not, Papa! Don't be ridiculous," she rebuked.

"Good. And as long as you're living under my roof I can demand at least as much decency from every one of you."

Cora breathed deeply before finally cutting in. "Now hold your horses, Robert. This is my house too and I won't accept any outcast of our daughters whatsoever. So, if you would please calm down and think about how absurd it is what you just said."

"I am not surprised that you are turning against me. You're against me on everything," Robert grouched. He pushed his plate to the centre of the table and got up. "I'm done with this." Noisily his chair scratched across the floor and he left the room with the drama he could only muster if his pride was badly hurt.

Lunch was cancelled.

Robert was baffled by lunch's events. Apart from Cora being seemingly uninterested in any kind of reconciliation, his daughters seemed to have fallen victim to moral decay. He couldn't bear to picture his innocent young Mary having any kind of physical relationship with a man. A kiss would be appropriate for her age he thought. But what did she know about men that she should responsibly get into such interaction with them? He was a little bit frightened by what Mary's confession would mean subsequently for the part of his daughters' lives he seemed to know nothing about. Yes, she was an adult but she was still so young.

After he had paced the carpet in his study for quite a while, Robert thought it would probably be reasonable to go and find Cora. It wouldn't help if they formed opposing camps in front of the children. They should try and find at least some equal ground on this ghastly Mary ordeal.

He left his study and went down the hallway in direction of the kitchen. On his way, he passed the dining room and found it deserted. Remnants of the discontinued lunch were still there. Some plates were cleared away but it looked a little as if the scenery was left in the middle of combat.

Robert neared the kitchen. Cora seemed to be there but she wasn't alone. He saw the strawberry blond tresses of his middle daughter through the gap in the door.

"No, Mama. I want to apologise to you," Edith said.

"I think this should actually be directed at your sister," Cora answered. Robert didn't saw his wife but he heard the busy sounds of clattering tableware.

"No, you don't understand. I didn't want to cause such trouble between you and Papa."

The clattering ceased.

"What do you mean?"

"I just thought…" Edith began to hum and haw slightly. "I thought you had at least told him something. I mean you never keep anything from him, so when Mary confessed the whole thing about Kemal, I thought you had told Papa about it," she explained. "I didn't intend to make him this furious."

Robert clenched his jaw. This house full of intriguing women was more wicked than he had imagined. He didn't want to remember Mama's statement when he and Cora came home with a third daughter but that was what to came to his mind just now. "Robert, it's foolish to pack your house full of women. Trust me, you will find yourself in a witch's cottage sooner than you can believe." When she had said it, Robert had been outraged. He couldn't believe that his mother would speak like that about his darling wife (the complete opposite of a witch) and his three angelic daughters. Back then, he hadn't tolerated these bad words against his family. Now, a part of him already saw how his house slowly but unstoppably grew chicken feet or gingerbread walls.

"Well, it was Mary's secret," Cora responded after a short pause. "It wasn't on me to tell Papa."

Robert couldn't hold back anymore. He burst into the room, his former fury returning at least as strong as minutes prior. "Oh, it wasn't?" he called sarcastically.

It gave him some satisfaction to see Cora whirling around in a sudden jolt. She clutched her satin blouse to her chest and crinkled the fabric in the process. The fear was painted on her features. Her blue eyes were cold and wide. Her face was paler than usual, no vivid colour on her cheeks or elsewhere in her face for that matter.

She opened her mouth to say something but Robert pre-empted her.

"I learned that you're capable of quite a lot, Cora," her name rolled harshly from his tongue. "But that you can go so coolly behind my back, forming alliances against without my knowing is baffling. I didn't think you could disappoint me again not even twenty-four hours later. And you are outdoing yourself."

"Robert!" Cora called when he already turned on his heel. "God, Robert, I'm sorry!" she exclaimed.

"Don't 'I'm sorry' me anymore, Cora! I'm done with this!"

Robert stormed off. The weekend went down the drain. Irreversibly. The weekend and so much more.

Sybil sat on the window seat in her room and observed the driveway. She was waiting, and it was this annoying type of waiting where you just couldn't do anything else. Rose was coming over as she had done a few times already over the week but now Sybil was most eager for her new friend to arrive. She hoped that her presence would maybe lift some of the tension that had settled over Crawley House this weekend.

It was unbearable to be in a room with Mama or Papa at the moment. Worse was only to be in a room with both of them but apparently, they knew to avoid this. Sybil couldn't quite fathom what brought on this rift between her parents. Even if there was something her mother hadn't told Papa, she was usually able to appease him in no time. But Papa's blood was already boiling when Mary's secret got out, and Mama had been all nerves; unable to reign in this situation with her reconciling and mediating nature as was commonly her way. Sybil didn't want to continue her thoughts at this point. She was afraid of what would possibly follow if she explored the cause of her parents' disaffection.

What she needed were some positivity and distraction, and no one could provide it better than sweet Rose. Even though Rose was nearly two years younger than her, they got along perfectly well and Rose had turned out to be a surprisingly good partner in deep conversations compared to Sybil's friends from school. Rose was always all ears, took everything Sybil said seriously and added to the conversation with well-thought-out points. Of course, there was mainly this joyful and cheery visible side of Rose, and this was also what filled her heart. Rose's heart was filled to the rim with joy and energy. She was so full of it that she always had to let some of it out. It made Sybil – and probably many other people too – grin when she saw the blonde girl, bubbling with happiness. But Rose also knew trouble and deep-rooting arguments, and she had a streak of rather mature intelligence. She did not prefer to ponder over and analyse the world's problems but she had the capacity to do so, and Sybil used this to try out different approaches to the questions and conflicts that kept her busy. It was everything and nothing really, and Rose didn't care what they were doing and what they were talking about as long as they spent time together it seemed.

Sybil stretched her neck to see if the motion behind the front garden's rhododendrons was maybe Rose. As the flaxen shock of hair appeared in the driveway Sybil swung her legs from the window seat without averting her eyes from the arriving girl. Rose was dressed nicely. She wore the light pink skirt she had bought when Sybil and Rosamund had gone to the shopping centre with her. It had been funny for Sybil to watch Rose enjoying the trip and the attention from the two older women. Usually, Sybil was the youngest, and it was Mama and aunt Rosamund to fuss over her. Now she could fuss over Rose, and Sybil thoroughly enjoyed it. She had encouraged Rose to buy this skirt (or let Rosamund buy it for her) and it delighted her to see her friend walking up the driveway in the new purchase happily.

Sybil jumped fully off the window seat and made quick strides toward the door of her room. She wanted to catch Rose as soon as possible, wanted to keep her out of their house's gloom and let her joy flourish in the safe four walls of Sybil's room.

She bounded down the stairs and opened the front door just as Rose lifted her hand to press the doorbell.

"Oh, hello!" Rose greeted, amused by Sybil's eager welcome. She grinned at Sybil and exposed her white, pearly teeth.

"Hey!" Sybil returned a sheepish grin and her cheeks flushed a little. "I'm happy to see you." She waved Rose inside. "I think baking biscuits is off the table. It would be better if we stayed in my room. The atmosphere in here is… pretty tense," Sybil explained. She leaned against a wall, her arms crossed behind her back while Rose kneeled on the floor to take off her shoes.

"Oh, that's a pity!" Rose replied with a sincerely sad expression.

"It'll be alright. Let's just stay in my room for today. We can make the biscuits another time."

Rose nodded and got up. They made their way up the stairs.

"Oh, I've got an idea!" Sybil exclaimed as they reached the top of the stairs. "We can try the hair colour I bought with you! I've got it with me in my bag!"

"Sure! We can do that." Sybil opened the door for them. To her surprise, her room wasn't empty. Edith sat on the edge of her bed.

"Sybil, I need to talk to you–" she started. Then she saw Rose following Sybil into the room. "Right, you were coming today. Sorry, I forgot."

"It's not a problem! If you need to talk then you should talk. I can also wait outside for a while," Rose suggested. Sybil could tell that she was serious about it but also knew (and saw it in the hopeful glimmer in her eyes) that Rose much rather wanted to listen.

"I don't want to bother you two," Edith said and rose from the mattress. With a pitiful expression, she approached the door, her head bent down.

"No, stay!" Sybil decided. "Tell me what's on your mind!"

"Okay," Edith returned to Sybil's side. "But you can stay too if you want, Rose," she directed at the younger girl. Rose nodded eagerly.

The sisters sat down on the bed while Rose made herself comfortable cross-legged on the carpeted floor.

"I think I caused Mama and Papa to be cross with each other. I mean really cross. You saw how they acted since yesterday," Edith confessed. Rose looked a little confused.

"What happened yesterday?" she inquired. Sybil and Edith exchanged looks. Then Sybil explained what had occurred at Crawley House in the last hours. Rose listened closely and nodded repeatedly. She understood.

"I see," she said. "But I don't think it's your fault, Edith."

"Why do you think so?" Edith questioned a little confused.

"You should never blame yourself when your parents don't get along at the moment," she simply stated. Sybil was silent. She had further questions on the tip of her tongue but she didn't dare to ask them. Edith was quiet too for a few seconds.

"But… I'm afraid," she whispered. "I'm afraid it is something grave. They have never been this hostile with each other. I mean they mostly avoid each other by now, but yesterday they have fought as I have never seen before. And ignoring and avoiding each other is so unlike them," Edith uttered her fears.

Sybil had to gulp. This was what she hadn't wanted to think about. It was different than usual. They really were apart.

"Don't worry!" Rose said with complete peace. "Your parents' situation is far from hopeless."

"How can you be so sure?" Edith asked. Her brow was furrowed, her hands clutched the blanket tightly.

"Come on, I saw them just Monday, acting as affectionate as I haven't seen anyone else. The way your father held on to your mother's waist when you greeted Rosamund, Marmaduke, and me. The way your mother blushed when your father made eyes at her across the dinner table. I haven't been here a week – a week that has apparently been hard on your parents' relationship – and still, I could see so much love. Believe me! I know what I saw."

Edith nodded slowly. Sybil hoped dearly Rose was right. It sounded a little too good to be true. But it also sounded just like Mama and Papa, and that was what Sybil wanted to believe.

"Okay, enough of that!" Edith shook herself and clapped her hands to break the subdued mood. "I don't want to disturb your plans for the day anymore."

"You can help us!" Rose exclaimed. She threw an encouraging look at Sybil. "We want to dye my hair. You can help us apply the colour!"

Rose rummaged in her bag and fished a pack of non-permanent purple hair colour from the drugstore from the depth of her handbag.

"Alright, sure," Edith replied and shrugged her shoulders.

"Do you already know how you want to have it?" Sybil asked while pushing a stool to Rose over the carpet. Rose took a seat and Sybil put a flowered towel from her armoire around Rose's shoulders. She straightened the terry cloth.

"I don't know. I thought we could maybe start with the strands at the front and maybe we will make some more if it looks good," Rose explained. Sybil agreed.

"I think this will look great." She held the purple bottle next to Rose's light blond curls. Without much ado, Sybil slipped on the plastic gloves and apply the first drops of colour on the front part of Rose's hair.

It knocked on Sybil's door. Mary's head appeared before Sybil could as much as open her mouth.

"Sybil, darling. Oh, I see. You're busy." Her eyes rested on Edith shortly, but after seconds her interest in her sister was gone again.

"Come in," Sybil waved her in. "I need your knowledge on how to dye hair. Rose wants to use this purple colour." Mary came in and mustered the work on Rose's hair. She stood next to Edith as if nothing had happened. They had had a short talk yesterday that maybe consisted of four words. Now they talked as little as they did before. Things were as strained as before Saturday, not more and not less. The rift between Mama and Papa was nearly greater than between Mary and Edith, and that was quite something.

Edith handed a pocket mirror to Rose so that she could have a look at the first stage. Rose's eyes grew wide.

"It's very dark and well, very purple!" Her voice was surprised, maybe a little worried but also excited.

"Don't worry! It'll wash off," Sybil assured.

"It won't," Mary argued lazily while scanning the product's packaging.

"Yes, it will!" Sybil insisted. She kept applying the purple colour with continuous gestures of her hand. Rose watched back and forth between the sisters, trying to gauge if her hair would get rid of the colour one day or not.

"Whatever," Mary huffed but Rose's insisting gaze elicited a further answer from her. "You can keep telling yourselves that Rose can get rid of the hair colour whenever she wants but you are fooling yourself like that. Even if the colour claims to be non-permanent there will be traces of it in her hair forever." Rose's eyes widened. Mary took a strand of the blonde tresses between the thumb and index of her left hand. "Her light-blond hair will absorb every colour like a sponge. If you had taken chalk or crayons the next drop of water had washed it off but not the products from the drugstore you chose."

It was silent for a moment.

"But mother will be wild when she sees me like that," Rose uttered in a whining tone.

"I don't think it will be that big of a deal," Edith tried to appease her and cupped her shoulder motherly. She gave Rose an assuring smile. "You will still be here for what, weeks? Let's see if Mary's dooming prophesy will even occur, and how your hair will look when you'll see your mother again."

Mary clenched her jaw and shot a threatening look at Edith. "I didn't mean to frighten you, Rose. I just wanted you to know what you are doing there. I am sure too we will manage to make it alright when your mother sees you again." She waved her hand at Rose's appearance. The coloured strands at the front hung there covered in creamy deep purple foam while her blond curls bounced around her head at every light movement. Edith looked at her elder sister slightly baffled. Having Mary agree with her after what had happened on Saturday was probably wholly unexpected for her.