Chapter 19: How to Hunt the Lone Wolf
AN: Make sure you don't miss out on chapter 17 & 18 as I've binge-written like crazy and have been updating under the 24 hour timer. Hope you enjoy!

That Fucking Monkey was still alive.

"How disappointing."

What was worse, was all that planning, all the items that Shepard had gotten to help Dr. T'Soni assimilate into military culture and communal showering wasn't at all necessary. She stole many, many glances down at the opposite corner of the shower stalls, watching how the asari seemed perfectly content and within her element as she showered with that stupid monkey hooked on her throat. It's tail seemed to be protectively guarding her neck.

"Something I failed to do."

Other marines in the showers seemed to take a liking to the monkey as well, some giggling, some scoffing and revolted.

"Finally, people that agree with me..."

Stupid monkey. How did Dr. T'Soni seriously find more comfort in the presence of a creature than anything else? Shepard liked to think she was a very comforting presence. Sure, maybe she wasn't all cuddly and warm and fawning and disgustedly furry, but at the very least she was predictable, consistent in her behaviour, respectable, and less prone to shit all over the archaeologist.

"Oh god, what if that's her - what did that one site say? A fetish? I already drew the line way back at popping balloons. Would she be satisfied if I just collected and stored samples?"

Shepard turned her head when T'Soni began to turn after she turned off her shower. The soldier still watched from the corner of her vision, melting with major relief when she had at least spotted her plush robe donned - until it's function was made clear when T'Soni had pinched the collar at her throat to hide her bruises.

Never before had headbutting a krogan seemed so appealing to Shepard now.

"Wrex will be more than happy to if I ask. Dr. Chakwas will not."

On instinct, Shepard immediately flailed a middle finger over her shoulder when she heard a hiss. That Fucking Monkey was being such an asshole to her, and Dr. T'Soni had actually laughed. Laughed! She found this amusing, maybe she had felt it was retribution and justice and the perfect punishment for the soldier and what she'd done. Sure, she knew she deserved punishment, but did it really have to stoop to the degree of a fucking monkey throwing shade at her?

"As soon as That Fucking Monkey is out of Liara's sight, I'm spacing it. Nobody will know. There will be no records other than a timestamp of when trash has been ejected. He would fit in perfectly, compressed into the furry ball of junk that he is. I will have to research how to console one who is grieving, and then comfort Liara, and then help her forget the stupid thing. It's the perfect plan."

But it wasn't. She knew that. She saw how happy T'Soni was, how a trustworthy companion could help one's anxieties whether they be social or physical. There was no way anybody would have noticed it sooner than Shepard herself, how much the archaeologist had grown, how confident she had become. It was as if she was born for this life, had been a part of the military forever. She had even saluted perfectly, prompting an internal inspection and awareness that many marines had been slacking on theirs.

With all the energy she no longer had, Shepard cut her shower short. It was usually helpful in clearing her mind and easing her aches - but bodily aches were nothing compared to the one that was prickling inside her chest. She looked down at all her new bruises, courtesy from when she'd crashed into the table and flipped over it. It had been even worse than the biotic forces she contended with in Matriarch Benezia's estate, or during her short tenure of playing hostage.

"Dr. T'Soni certainly is a powerful biotic," Shepard mused as she ran a hand down her side, grimacing a little. The pain was a slight point of pride, and a major source of relief. "At least now I know she can defend herself, if she could get me off before I... Well." The soldier quickly escaped the showers and head for her locker in a bid to distract herself.

Unfortunately, that distraction came in the form of That Fucking Monkey.

More hisses and middle fingers were flailed. T'Soni's soft laughter danced in the air, and her eyes almost seemed to dance along with her laughter. They were magnetic, pulling Shepard in all over again. It took all of her willpower to simply stick to her routine, sift through her locker contents beside the unbearably sweet blue blanket, and ignore the way little grubby hands swatted at her hair.

"I will break your fingers one by one if you do not stop, Fucking Monkey."

Another hiss. She twisted, ignoring the horrified look on T'Soni's face, and had hissed back at the thing. It hissed harder, spittle flying.

Her blood burned.

T'Soni's laughter turned a little awkward and she quickly gained space, scooping up all her clothes before she rushed to the safety of a corner to dress.

"You know, you two could get along really well if you tried. Lucky has made a lot of friends."

"Yeah that's great, good for him. He shit on me, Dr. T'Soni. The second I trust him and let my guard down is the second he'll take to shitting all over me again."

A chuckle bumbled out before the asari could suppress it, and Shepard shot a sulky look. It only seemed to delight T'Soni, and her smile came easier. "She, Commander."

"Whatever, he, she, it. It's a demon is what it is."

Another hiss. Shepard hissed back.

"She deserves another chance," T'Soni pointedly continued to correct. She had turned around so that her back faced the soldier, shedding her robe in order to don her clothes. Quickly. Was she blushing all the way to the back of her head? It was an observation that couldn't be scrutinized with the reflection invoked instead. "Everybody deserves a second chance, don't you agree?"

"It depends on the circumstances and crime," Shepard grumbled. She renewed her own mission to put her uniform on. "Murderers, swindlers, slavers, rapists, I don't think so. No mercy."

"I don't hear a pyjak with uncontrollable bowel movements on that list."

"No, no, no, it was controlled, Dr. T'Soni," Shepard glared at the stupid demon, who innocently balanced on top of the asari's head. "It was very controlled and well executed, I assure you."

"Oh, stop it," T'Soni laughed. She turned as she zipped up her suit, her bruise on display for a few seconds before it disappeared under the safety of her collar. "You're being ridiculous now."

"You're being ridiculous, you want me to make friends with a demon," Shepard huffed, shrinking under the archaeologist's scrutiny, even if playful.

Shepard knew her rebuttal was weak. She hadn't even known why she was arguing like this when she should have been spending every waking second making amends and catering to every goddamn desire the asari had. She deserved it. And it shook her out of her own selfishness, for a moment - along with whatever other dark emotion was plaguing her right now. It had something to do with the damn demon. She glared at it and crossed her arms, making a point to purposefully express a frown when the monkey hissed at her. Oh, the things she could do to him if they were alone...

"Wait, no. Getting distracted again."

"All I'm saying is you should just try to give her a chance," T'Soni stated reasonably. She stowed her bathing products in her locker, and her nearing presence was nearly a source of panic. And bliss. The fresh smells clinging to her were welcome and pleasant, a break from the standard military soap. The soldier definitely didn't regret dolling out extra credits to buy what the merchant recommended for asari. Where was the crest lubricant though?

"Distract. Distraction. Am getting distracted."

But T'Soni was all up in her face. Her lips were right there. All Shepard had to do was capture them - and she immediately backpedalled a few steps. She was beginning to catch on to those looks the archaeologist made sometimes, as if she were hurt and disappointed. It always caused a wretched gnarling feeling to vine around the soldier's intestines. Her inner selfishness propelled her back forward, where hope bloomed in the asari's eyes.

Shepard couldn't bring herself to look any further - to see the destruction she'd caused - when she escaped the locker room.

She swore she was going to rip something apart when she felt grubby hands swat her hair as she did.

This was hopeless. Liara had tried everything she could think of to try to catch the Commander in seemingly innocent places, to try to instill some desire to seek privacy to have the conversation they needed to have. This game of cat and mouse was exhausting. She had even stooped so low as to invoke jealousy when she had noticed Lucy make heated looks at Lucky.

It sent a dark thrill through her every time, along with an uncontrollable smile that Lucy had actually been jealous of an animal.

"I truly thought they'd be the best of friends by now, though, with Lucy's history with farm animals. I know pyjaks aren't involved, but still..."

Liara stowed herself away in the small space she'd created for herself on her bunk bed. She had Tali's help in creating a little overhead light that wouldn't be disruptive to others, electing a traditional approach of writing her thoughts down on paper - whether they intend to contribute to her thesis, or just decompartmentalize her thoughts throughout the day.

Lucky often played with the other marines in here, having surprisingly built a very strong bond with Talitha, of all people. Helen didn't seem like she'd ever get over how distraught she was.

Days passed by, as did mission after mission. The Alliance wasn't through with Shepard, and it seemed as though she wasn't either. Their pursuit of Saren had been put on hold, and thanks to the advantage of getting to be at the root of all gossip, Liara heard many marines expressing their worries and confusions over the Commander's priorities.

It wasn't hard to figure out why, with how much time was being invested into stopping slave raids - whether they were actively happening or in preparations to.

"It does not seem as the others are aware of the Commander's personal history in that regard."

And it did not seem that the Commander was aware that she was breeding hatred for batarians aboard the ship.

"If that's all they're exposed to... I'll admit, even I'm seeing batarians in a negative light. But I've met good ones too."

It was all written down in her journal, scrawling ideas of how to approach the subject with Lucy someday, as well as possible solutions - if the Commander were open and emotionally ready for it. Liara could understand the importance, of course, but she was beginning to understand the importance of what ripples in the water could do, when venturing far away enough.

"I get we have this cool ship able to fly faster than any other vessel in the navy, but I am sick of fighting nothin' but slavers. That one krogan nearly made me piss myself when he charged at me, I got a kink in my neck just watchin' our krogan buddy charge at him." Helen complained as she tumbled on her chair in exhaustion. She was still in her armour. She removed her helmet with a sigh, cooing for Lucky to come play with her - whom adamantly remained with Talitha. "Man, what an ass... He sure forgot real quick who gives him extra treats."

"Her," Liara corrected with amusement, looking over her bunk. "And you what?"

"I what? Did you hear something ladies?" Helen looked around with a nervous laugh, then down at herself as she patted her armour. "Oh would you look at that? I forgot to drop my shit off at the armoury, better do that before I get rep. Cya!"

"Helen's right," Talitha murmured. Her lips twitched in a subtle smile when Lucky wrapped around her leg. "We should be trying to find Saren. Does the Commander think we will, flying all over the galaxy every time a comm buoy gets destroyed? We're wasting time."

"We have our orders," Addison came down stern. "And it's not up to us. The Commander could have contacts out there searching for intel. We can't find Saren if we don't find information."

"But we're not even searching for information," one of the other marines, Rosamund, interjected. "I dunno. Sure, it's not up to us, but we can't be the only ones feeling this way. There's got to be a way we can communicate with the Commander."

"File a report," Talitha grumbled sarcastically.

Quietly, Liara climbed down her bunk. She tried to be inconspicuous as she left, shooing Lucky away when she rushed over. She knelt and patted Lucky's head with a warm smile.

"Stay here and play, I don't think Lucy will be willing to talk with me with you there." She chuckled. "At least, I know I won't hold her attention if she's silently planning ways to murder you."

The pyjak's head cocked sadly and whined, wrapping her tail around her body to express her sadness. She may not have understood every word, but she'd been smart enough to understand tones and gestures - sometimes a little too smart, with how fast she could pick up even the subtlest hostility from the Commander. Liara pet Lucky's head before turning her and pushing on her bum to scoot back to Talitha. The archaeologist set off on her new mission, setting aside her personal desires. She knew what she had to do - even if it was going to be a difficult conversation, even if there were consequences in revealing what she had known of Mindoir, the marines were right.

The Commander was letting personal feelings get in the way of her priorities, whether she had realized it or not.

Every step wrought anxiety in Liara's guts. She had assumed Lucy would stow away in the privacy of her quarters, and the archaeologist debated upon whether inviting herself in without permission, or knocking and praying she'd be allowed in. She hadn't tried the direct method of confrontation yet, and it was currently her only idea left. There was no luring the wolf.

There was only hunting it down.

Liara steeled herself when she came upon the dreaded door, her brain suddenly racing with hundreds of worries, her heart thundering with a most wretched fear. Her hand idly came up to stroke her throat. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath before she wrenched that hand away and rapped her knuckles on the door. She didn't bother waiting for a response and pushed the button to open the door, coming face to face with a wide-eyed and dishevelled soldier who had come to answer the door.

"Liara?" Shepard croaked in surprise - and oh, what a blissful sound to hear her name again.

"I am most definitely surprising her more often now."

All of a sudden, Shepard broke out into a sprint to her terminal. Whatever she wanted to close down, sparked Liara's curiosity and propelled her to walk over just as quickly to spot a clue. The soldier whirled around and clung to her table for dear life, smiling nervously.

"You caught me at a horrible time, Dr. T'Soni. I was, uh," she glanced over her shoulder, adjusting herself so that her body blocked her terminal. Then she looked back with a resolve in her eyes that seemed to scream she thought she was being so clever. "I was watching an educational documentary of pornographic nature, the material is surely uninteresting and beneath someone of your intelligence."

Liara's face flamed. "Why that lie?!"

"What? I researched that if you say you have diarrhea or are watching erotic videos, then it's a surefire way to get someone to stop asking questions. Not that it's a lie. I was watching an erotic documentary."

The archaeologist buried her burning face in her hands. "Please don't say documentary."

"...An erotic chronicle?"

"By the Goddess, smite me." Liara groaned. "Just don't lie to me, Shepard." She tried to be swift as she lifted her head and shot a look over the soldier's shoulder, only to find herself turned and pinned to the wall, facing it. She swore the blue was melting right off her face and she'd resemble a fire squid soon enough. "Wh-what could you even possibly be embarrassed about? Saying all of that is far worse."

"It's none of your business, do your no boundary thing to somebody else already," Shepard hissed pleadingly. Then her tone darkened. "Do it to what's-his-face?"

Oh, she knew who was being referenced. Bravery somehow was instilled in her, and she smirked over her shoulder. "Her."

"It."

"Lucky."

"Demon."

"If only she knew the meaning behind Lucky's name. How long will it take until she realizes, I wonder? I'm dying to tell her, but I think it'll be better if she comes to her own conclusion."

That, and with the hostilities right now, maybe it wasn't wise for Shepard to know that she was the sire to the pyjak's name.

This intimate position was beginning to whittle away confidence and instill something else entirely in Liara, and she was at risk of forgetting her priorities - like a certain soldier she'd come to remind. Her resolve was threatened when Shepard's body pressed a little into her. She rested her forehead against the cold wall and closed her eyes, trying to return to some measure of calm that could not be found right now. If only she had the courage to vocalize what Shepard was doing to her - and the selflessness to sacrifice this small momentary bliss. She couldn't even find her voice, her breath.

Every part of her was screaming to turn around and just ask for a kiss, to end this cold war, to bait the wolf into what it so dearly wanted to do too.

"We agreed to communicate and be honest with each other," Liara whispered. "What were you researching, Shepard?"

"I can't tell you that." A beat, a few seconds too long, a subtle slothful linger in the tone. "It's classified."

"Stop lying to me."

"I'm not lying... I just can't tell you."

"Why? Can you tell me that, at least?"

"Because it's humiliating. You already think less of me, and I don't want to prove you right."

"I - what? Let me turn around."

"No."

Liara wanted to scream. She inhaled deeply, the words strained through clenched teeth. "And why not?"

"Because it hurts to look at you in the eyes. I can't."

Daggers stabbed right in the archaeologist's heart. She softened immediately and rested her head against the wall again. "Shepard, I don't think less of you. Why would you think that?"

"After what I did? Why wouldn't you?"

This whole part about answering questions with more questions? Yes, it wasn't exactly an efficient way to converse, but at the very least they were somewhat conversing. Liara had to just stop thinking with her body and retain focus of her mind, to be able to adequately digest Shepard's words and emotions before she'd accidentally miss the most crucial subtlety - all because she just wanted to kiss the senselessness out of this silly human.

"I understand why it happened," Liara murmured gently. "I don't blame you, Shepard."

"Aren't you scared of me?"

"Well, I'm... I was scared, yes, I suppose I still am. But more than anything, I'm scared of losing you. What happened isn't something that can't be remedied, Shepard."

"I can't fix it, Liara. And I've done the research. If we engage in coitus-"

"Oh, Goddess, please don't call it coitus."

"Then that typically is followed with aftercare, or it should be."

"Okay, yes, she is investing far too much research into this than even I'm comfortable with. Do I want to know how much she's come to know by now?"

"Physical intimacy helps you feel special and appreciated," Shepard continued, unaware of how mortified the asari felt. "Aftercare helps create the feeling of closeness and intimacy. I want to do that - or try my best to at least attempt a closeness of that, and that involves cuddling, which will then eventually lead to falling asleep beside each other. I can't do that. You... Experienced why. I'm dangerous to be around when I sleep. It's not the first time I've hurt somebody when they've touched me."

"I've touched you while you were asleep before, Shepard."

"You - what?"

Finally, finally the soldier let her turn around, or rather, forcibly shoved her around. She was still pinned to the wall by her shoulders, with Shepard creating a distance and keeping her at literal arm's length.

"When?"

"When we returned from the university, you fell asleep on your bed for your exact timing of 62 minutes. You seemed to be having a bad dream, so I talked to you, touched you. I squeezed your shoulder, and when you seemed at peace, I rested my head against yours. Nothing happened. I understand that it might not always be that way, but... But you're not hopeless, Shepard."

Liara tried to reach, only able to cup the soldier's elbows. She smiled reassuringly. "Please just talk to me. It's terrifying, I know. I'm scared too. But there's nothing we can't work through if we just communicate in honesty, Shepard, and I firmly believe in that. Neither of us are so unreasonable, or prejudiced by our emotions, that we cannot find compromises and solutions. I value and appreciate that in you greatly. You're fair, true to your name."

Expressions flicked by like still-pictures taken by her omni-tool. She'd realized her mistake quite pointedly at the end, and smiled apologetically as she landed her final blow. "I learned of your full name because I had gotten curious of some of the things you told me, and had researched what happened to Mindoir."

Shepard suddenly let go. She took a few steps back, and dread immediately pooled in the archaeologist's stomach at the disconnected, emotionless tone.

"You know about Mindoir."

That it was a statement rather than a question was more terrifying than anything else, and before Liara could rush to justify anything, the soldier sighed and turned for her punching bag. Her hands roved up and raked her hair back, before tying it in a tight bun.

"You know about Mindoir." Shepard glanced over her shoulder. "I take it that you also know about Akuze, then?"

"...No. I hadn't read what you sent me. I decided that something like that... I just... I don't know. I had hoped you would talk to me about that too."

"No." Shepard turned back to the bag. "I can't talk about that stuff, Liara."

"And I understand-"

"Stop understanding, please. Your heart is in the right place." Shepard grabbed her bag. Lightly drilled and twisted her knuckles into it. "I can't talk about it because you'll surely see me in a lesser light, then. I did things I'm not proud of. Things that can't be justified." She revved her fist back, but it had practically slapped the bag in a weak punch. "I don't deserve a second chance. I don't deserve happy memories, of Shirvan, of Blue Bloods, of revenge. I don't deserve the Skymeadow beach, the robes, your smiles, your trust, your blanket." She turned around. "I don't deserve your heart, your second chance. I don't deserve any of that. Now that, that is what you have to understand."

"So why do any of it?" Liara challenged. "If you so strongly believe that you don't deserve anything good, why are you here? Why nurture what's between us? You're doing that thing again, remember? When your actions are a direct contrast of your belief, the chances of failure are higher."

"I'm here because this is my punishment. People think I've continued my tour of duty to help, or out of obligation to humanity. No, I'm serving to repent, and hopefully that'll help me forget. Or maybe I'll get a better concussion next time, one that makes me lose my memory." Shepard's eyes fell to the ground. "I apologize that I was selfish in pursuing you. I shouldn't have. I just... I never had anything good since Mindoir. I never felt so many things the way I do now, even that feeling of being an idiot. Even fear. It's always been pain, mostly because of these stupid things," she gestured angrily at her synthetic limbs. "Now... With you... I've experienced confusion, awe and wonder, attraction, laughter, a lightness in my chest and a feeling that I can breathe. I've resurfaced from the water, no longer drowning - that thought hit me when I literally resurfaced after you dunked me with your biotics. I got to hear the insects and watch the stars, feel the sand beneath me, the shoulder pressed against me. I got to feel peace when I fished, feel the depths of your compassion when I realized you were shivering from the cold, waiting on me."

Shepard's face softened with a smile, her gaze travelling far away - but a happy place, for once.

"I got to experience bewilderment over your constant carelessness with your well-being, got to feel what it's like to be humbled and wrong when I made the wrong judgment call, and got called out for it. Nobody on my crew would ever have the guts to do what you did in the university. I got to be Mrs. T'Soni for a day and I found it... Pleasantly strange. That I wanted to have more days like it. And that's when I had begun to wonder: what are the chances that I could be Mrs. T'Soni for real? Do I have a chance? Do I need to tip the scales? So I begun to research what I needed to do to become Mrs. T'Soni."

Warmth swelled up in Liara's face upon the casual commitments being made here, but more than anything, she had one very serious question burning on the tip of her tongue, and she needed to get it out of her system.

"Did you literally search 'how to become Mrs. T'Soni'?"

"Yeah, I didn't really have useful results."

"I'd imagine not," Liara thought wryly, already prepared to suppress the laughter in her belly for a question she had the answer to. She took it slow in her approach, stopping when Shepard's head shot up, her back bumping into her punching bag. "You experienced those things because you do deserve them, Shepard, even if you think that you don't. I believe that you do. Perhaps you don't need my understanding, but you certainly deserve every ounce of compassion in this universe - you deserve better. You don't deserve a second chance. You deserve a first chance to experience any good thing to begin with. Please, all I ask of you is to give yourself that chance. Even if it's not with me, that's okay. You still - and forever will - deserve a chance to be happy."

It took all the willpower she had in order to step back, to give space when she wanted nothing more than to rush to the soldier and kiss her silly... But she couldn't push. The wolf was already trapped in the corner. It had to free itself of its own volition. She smiled warmly as she took a step backwards, then another, up until she felt the worktable press against her hamstrings.

"I'll leave you to think about it. When you're done, I do have a matter of business to discuss with you in regards to the nature of the missions you've been taking on. The crew has been... Worried, to put it simply, that we've lost our focus and momentum on Saren. Whenever you're ready, just send me a message to meet with you so that we can talk about it more, maybe brainstorm solutions if you're stuck anywhere - that is, if you're comfortable declassifying sensitive information with me in that regard."

Liara played it cool and nonchalant as she turned around, tapping her nails against the worktable as she stole a swift look at the terminal. She pretended it was all part of the movement as she walked to the door, struggling to contain her internal screaming over what she'd read. She was able to muster one more smile over her shoulder as she tapped the door frame.

"I enjoyed this conversation, Shepard. It was enlightening for me as I hope it has been for you, and I look forward to the next one with you."

She escaped before the soldier had a chance to say anything of likeness - or worse yet, stubborn denial. She had to. She sped-walked back to her quarters with her face in flames.

"Goddess, she wasn't lying. She was looking up erotic documentaries!"

It had been half a day, much too long, until Liara received the message.

{I'm ready. We're making another supply run and will be docking at the Citadel shortly. I'll send you coordinates. Meet me whenever you're ready too. Alone, please, or I will murder the monkey.}

Oh, she was ready. She was terrified, but she was ready. She prayed with every fibre of her being that Lucy was going to give herself a chance, and that was going to be the primary subject - rather than using the Saren one as a distraction.

"That's not fair, it is important to discuss that as well. I suppose I could learn how to be dutiful from her, and her happiness from me. I hope I can teach her that anyways."

Liara thrust the responsibility of Lucky in Helen's hands, but the pyjak promptly chose Talitha once again, sending the poor raven-haired human in dramatic distress. Liara escaped largely unscathed, and many chuckles, as she snuck out the quarters and abandoned Addison to deal with her eclectic crew solo. Her omni-tool vibrated with a message. Her heart skipped a beat and a rush of warmth pooled to her palms, making her skin hot and clammy from anxiety. She almost hesitated to read the message, but her omni-tool was engaged and her fingers were already typing away. The coordinates were synced to her map and it zoomed in. She was stumped by the choice of location.

"Chora's Den? This has to be a mistake."

It wasn't until she zoomed in closer on the map that she'd seen the location was just slightly beside it, and a level above the lower wards. With relief back in her bones and her head held high, she waited for the announcements that they were docked and processing. She took a seat at the mess hall table and kept to herself, burrowing her smile in folded hands when she listened to the Commander announcing shore leave while the Normandy underwent maintenance. It wasn't long before she'd heard the boisterous volume of Chief Williams echoing down the corridors, cheering how she hadn't lost all her credits on bets just yet.

"Dr. T'Soni? What are you doing here?"

A firm hand came to rest between Liara's shoulder blades, and that gave her hope. She tried not to come off as obsessively eager as she felt inside when she turned to smile at the Commander, who seemed to have come down from the CiC.

"Were you waiting on me so that we could go together? Are you unfamiliar with the Citadel?"

"I was waiting more so for everybody else to go, but I certainly wouldn't mind if we would go together, yes. I haven't had that many chances to explore all of the Citadel."

"Alright then. I require a few minutes to prepare, please wait here."

Liara nodded, suffocating the question before it tumbled out her mouth. "Prepare for what? She isn't gearing up the way she did for the university, is she?"

It wouldn't exactly come as a surprise, especially if Lucy wasn't inviting her inside the quarters. The archaeologist sighed to herself.

"It's going to take just as much work to help her relax. I'm beginning to get the sense that cities are more stressful for her than an actual battlefield."

Time flew by surprisingly enough, even when it almost felt like it was standing still with the way her guts viciously fluttered with glitterwings. The last time she'd been this nervous was during her final practical exams, before receiving her doctorate. Or when she submitted her first thesis to be published. Or her first expedition. Okay, so she's had a lot of nerve-wracking moments, no surprise there - it still didn't belittle this. She was ready to puke.

When Lucy emerged just like the way she first had, before they docked at Thessia, there was a wave of calm that washed over her. That confident, subtle smile. That rock-steady presence, even if rigid in its military ways. Lucy offered her hand.

"Dr. T'Soni," she greeted, "Are you ready?"

The only thing different was the hand, and T'Soni took it as she rose with a smile. "Yes, Commander."

"Have you thought of where you'd like to start? Exploring the Citadel, I mean?"

"I'd rather have our discussion first, if you don't mind. The location you sent me seems to be above Chora's Den, which I've learned is... Er..."

"A strip club, yes. I apologize in advance, as I think you may be quite uncomfortable when we head there." Lucy released hands and took the lead, professional and distant with no betrayal of emotion or where her stance lied from their recent conversation. She glanced over her shoulder and smiled apologetically. "It's my apartment, but we have to go through Chora's Den."

"You... You have an apartment above a strip club?"

"Attached to it, actually. It was the cheapest place on the market, probably due to the sounds."

"Oh Goddess."

"It didn't bother me since I don't spend much time there. Nice space, though. I might invest in sound-proofing in the future, if I decide to settle down."

"Or purchase a different apartment?"

"Hm, yeah, I hadn't thought of that. Good idea, Dr. T'Soni. Hopefully it'll be for a reasonable price, though. The housing market has really jacked it up this year, and I have to budget to make sure I have enough set aside for the latest weaponry. I've had my eye on the new line of grenade launchers for a while now, but I think they still have a lot of testing to do to make sure it's safe for the user first."

"Oh... Oh dear... I had hoped she sated her love for grenades after Therum."

It wasn't long for silence to fall between them, something that used to be comfortable. The soldier seemed fine with it, but Liara wasn't - probably more so dreading with where they were going. She could already feel the heat in her cheeks. When they had cleared through processing, Lucy seemed to be surprisingly at ease when they reached the lower wards. She had that subtle confident smile again, an easy-going vibe that was pulling Liara in like a moth to a flame. Her curiosity propelled her closer, striding up to walk beside the soldier.

"You seem different," she noted quietly.

"A good kind of different?" Lucy asked hopefully. "I've done a lot of thinking, and some more research on the side, of course. I can't take all the credit."

"A good kind indeed," Liara reassured. "Does this mean-"

"I promise you we'll discuss it, but I'd like to do so in the privacy of my apartment. There are many bugs in the lower wards."

Liara nodded in understanding, though was somewhat confused as to what could be gained from planting random bugs in the wards. She shrugged it off and continued to follow the soldier's lead, hesitating when they'd enter the corridors that led to the bright neon lights of Chora's Den. They were still yards away and the music was already deafening, almost as if it was determined to beat the melody directly into her blood. She grabbed Lucy's wrist before they crossed the wretched line and enter through the doors, squeezing nervously.

"Here, just close your eyes. I'll guide you."

Liara didn't need to be told twice. She cringed when the doors opened and the volume grew exponentially, seeing strobe lights flicker even beyond closed eyes. The only solace she had was that Lucy was holding her hand, pulling her along. Bodies bumped into them and sometimes she peeked to make sure it was still Lucy's hand she held, regretting it immediately when she saw how many bodies there were in their best interest to cover up. She seemed to bump into Lucy when they made an abrupt stop, and she stole another peek. She shivered from the way she could feel murderous intent radiating from Lucy, and it seemed to be because of the grinning man blocking their way.

"Hey sweet cheeks, nice to see ya again! Found somebody to play with, huh? Why don't you two just sit down beside Harkin and we can-"

"Eat my bullets," Lucy growled, "Eyes elsewhere. She doesn't need to shower again to get your filth off her."

"Yee-ouch," the man laughed, bumbling around them with his drinks. "Alright, toots, whatever. Lighten up, jeez..." He leaned over as he winked at Liara. "Help her with that, would ya?"

Lucy used her free hand to shove him off, before tugging Liara with a new sense of urgency. They crossed through another door and climbed the stairs, to which the soldier stopped in the middle of as she looked over her shoulder.

"I apologize for that. He was, regrettably, a contact with information early on in my investigation regarding Saren. Harkin appears to be living this delusion that we're acquaintances now."

Liara smiled sympathetically. "I imagine you would want him to be, but with your guns."

"Exactly!" Lucy rolled her eyes with a groan, catching the archaeologist off guard from the exuberant expression. "I knew you'd understand. He really has a talent for getting on my nerves. Come on, my place is just up the rest of these stairs here. I'll get started on brewing some tea for us, if I have any packets. We'll have to go out to eat when we get hungry though."

"Alright, sounds like a plan."

Words that seemed to both delight Lucy, and tempt her mischievous side. She clearly hadn't forgotten the game she wanted to play.

"I am blissfully oblivious and have conveniently forgotten. Maybe she'll eventually forget too."

Slim chance, Liara knew, but it was still a chance.

They reached the top of the stairs, where Lucy unlocked the door with a biometric fingerprint scanner and a password support. Liara expected a barren minimalist place, and she was severely disappointed when the door opened. It was clear this apartment was bought as-is, and the nature of what kind of occupants, or the function of the place at all, was evident in the provocative colours and questionable furniture. Her throat tightened and she couldn't clear it for the life of her. Her face flamed hotter and she tried to ignore the paintings on the wall, to which at least Lucy deduced the reason for her being so flustered by just following her gaze. The paintings were taken down immediately, tossed face-down in a corner.

"Sorry, as I said, I don't come here often. I'll get rid of all that stuff as soon as I get the tea started. Why don't you take a seat in the living room in the mean time?"

Unable to find her voice, Liara nodded meekly. She searched for a respectable seat and tried furiously to ignore her imagination when she'd noticed some seats were worn down. Her only hope was a gaudy loveseat, where it's backrest was in the shape of a heart.

"Goddess, even if this was the cheapest place on the market, I would rather be homeless."

A terrible inkling pinched her bladder at the worst possible time, and she sighed. She called out over her shoulder. "Shepard, do you know where the bathroom is, by any chance?"

"Not really!" Lucy shouted from the kitchen. "I'm still trying to find the kitchen!"

Or not from there.

"Okay," Liara sucked in a breath to steel herself. "I can do this. Let's do this, get it done and over with." She tried to keep her eyes low as she went down a hallway, where more provocative paintings were.

Leave it to Lucy to not only research erotic documentaries, but purchase the very place where they were probably created.

The horrors of the bathroom would never be spoken of again, and Liara made it out very scarred and thoroughly traumatized. She was going to turn into a voiceless shell of herself at this rate. She wandered mindlessly back to the living room, falling on the ridiculous loveseat. She looked down at the vivid red carpet, blushing fiercely over some stains she spotted.

"Something tells me that's not tea or juice."

"Alright, so here's the situation," Lucy announced as she entered the living room, "I found the kitchen. I don't have tea - who doesn't stock up on tea? They had everything but tea. Most of it was expired, and the rest was very questionable as to what it actually was. So... I can go out and buy some. Would you like to come along with me, or stay here?"

"I'd very much rather come with you, please," Liara nearly begged. "While we're out, maybe we can just stay out?"

"But our conversation-"

"Let's have it now, then, before we go."

That confident, easy-going vibe Lucy had earlier had suddenly disappeared. She was more rigid than ever before, and her nervous smile was unbearably easy to see. She stiffly walked over to the couch and flopped down, palms wiping down her uniform slacks.

"Well... Alright then... I need a moment to prepare." She sucked in a deep breath as she closed her eyes. Her breath tumbled out in a single swoosh. She blindly reached and collected one of Liara's hands into her lap. "Alright." She peeked one eye open, as if gauging if it was safe, then opened the other. "Alright... Yeah... So!" Another deep breath. "I don't know what to say."

Liara almost facepalmed. "Nothing to say about what we touched on before?"

"Plenty, but it was a lot, and I felt a lot. I don't know how to put it all into words. I tried writing, earlier, but it turned into a very long novel."

"So how did you want to have this conversation?"

"I figured it would just come to me as soon as I'd look at you. It's, uh... It's not." Lucy scooted a little closer, collecting the other hand. "Does what I'm doing help shed any light? Do your magical understanding thing."

"It's not magical, Shepard," Liara chuckled. "I'm not all-knowing. But yes, a lot of what you're doing right now is telling me that you'd like this to continue, between us. Would you like it to?"

"Yeah - yes, very much so. Is that okay? Can we? I would understand if you're hesitant because of... What I did before... But I promise I will make it up to you. I found something I think you'll really like, but I have to go check it out myself and see if the markets actually have it. I don't know where you can be in the mean time, though. I can-"

"Breathe," Liara gently ushered with a finger on the soldier's lips. "You don't have to make it up to me, Shepard. I only ask this: the next time we run into a problem, please try to resist the urge to run away from me. I truly do believe there's nothing we can't work through. Do you agree?"

"Agreed, though largely due to your confidence." Lucy's demure smile was endearing, more so because it was rare to see her openly embarrassed. "I still don't know why you're giving me a chance, but I'm not going to waste it."

It was Liara's turn to turn her hands and capture the soldier's with a firm grip. "Looking at you now, I have hundreds of reasons." She leaned forward and softly sighed in content when the soldier moved to meet her halfway. The lone wolf mantle was shed. The hunt was over. She pushed harder against Lucy's lips with both desperation and relief that she could selfishly indulge in their growing intimacy. She'd pushed and pushed until Lucy manoeuvred to lay on her back, pulling Liara on top of her to sit on the soldier's hips.

Their hands intertwined in the air, where Lucy helped her keep her balance as she descended to kiss. There was a thrill, a newfound confidence thrumming deep in her chest, clawing to try and get out of her throat. She felt silly, but at the same time, felt empowered when she had mustered the words, even when she knew she was very obviously blushing.

"And I'm going to keep kissing you until you have felt my every reason."