Chapter 22: The Death of Me

"Dr. Chakwas, I think she's waking up!"

Shepard groaned hoarsely. "Still against my will..."

Scrambling alerted Shepard, and she had to suffocate her noises because holy hell did it ever hurt just to breathe - and that little feeling in her stomach that was knotting up right now? Yeah, it was warning her: she was in trouble. More trouble than being injured, however she was, whenever she was. That trouble came in more sounds as the scrambling rushed to be beside her, metal clanking along, something crashing over. She grimaced and slapped her hand over her eyes.

"Oh my god, Dr. Chakwas, please give Liara alprazolam to calm down. I'm positive what I'm smelling right now is smoke coming from her brain."

"You do not get to scold me right now," Liara hissed, tugging her ear.

Hard.

"Ow!"

"Good!"

Dr. Chakwas' chuckles only stalled the tension and inevitable fretting fit the archaeologist was about to have, but still, Shepard would take any form of help right now. "How are you feeling, Commander?"

"Fantastic," she lied. Kind of. It was a half-truth, compared to other injuries she's suffered, she felt like a million credits. Another tug of her ear. She dropped her hand and shot a deadpan look at Liara - or rather, where she saw a big blue fuzzy circle.

"You can stop that any time, if it pleases you."

"It does not please me," came the stubborn huff.

And another pull.

"Liara, I'm fine, it's just a scratch."

"You were shot! It's not 'just a scratch', Shepard," the asari nearly growled. "What if she'd accidentally shot you in the head?"

"I made sure I kept an eye whenever the gun was up in the air, and I moved in to disarm when the opportunity presented itself - and because she was moving too close to the edge. The probability of an accidental discharge was low-"

"How low if it happened?"

"Well... I made my calculations based on the assumption that it was a well-maintained pistol. Evidently it was not." Shepard looked away in embarrassment, even if she couldn't see anything. "I'm sorry I miscalculated, okay? I should have also taken into account that a civilian like her would have had to go through black market channels in order to bypass regulation and a psychological review to be able to purchase a firearm. I was... Just a little tense, at the time. I wasn't able to think clearly. More importantly." She looked back at the fuzzy blue circle, honestly counting her blessings she couldn't actually see Liara's face right now. "Is Talitha okay? They aren't going to charge her, will they? Dr. Chakwas, could you please call C-Sec so that I know who to send my statement to and also tell them I'm not pressing charges?"

"One thing at a time, Commander. Focus on your recovery first. I will pass the message along for you though, yes. Talitha agreed to take a sedative and has been taken to a psychiatric facility, where she will also be focusing on her recovery."

"Can you pass the message along to her too, then, that it wasn't her fault? If she needs to blame something, then blame it on the low-quality gun. That thing fired way too easily just at a swing of-"

Somebody cleared their throat. Expressly so. Somebody fuzzy and blue.

Shepard rolled her eyes. "It's just a scratch, Liara!"

"Listen here, you, if you can scold me for me hurting myself, then I can do the same to you!"

"I'll bet you went into shock and didn't take the appropriate measures to take care of yourself, so I could still scold you too, if you want."

"Not the point," Liara grumbled, "Stop trying to turn this on me. You are not going to get away with this so easily, you know. Dr. Chakwas has already taught me how to change your bandages, and I am going to keep scolding you until you learn to take the appropriate measures to take care of yourself in the future, too."

"Oh my god, Karin, how could you? I thought we were comrades!"

All she could hear as a reply was a door that hissed open and shut in the middle of her sentence.

"And she's abandoned me?! What the hell happened to leaving no man behind? Her doctor's oath? Her-"

Lips crashed against hers with a sense of desperation, and she tasted something wet and salty. Fingers tangled in her hair, and she grunted in pain when she'd been tugged up a little, antagonizing her wound that seemed to be diffusing from her abdomen. The hands slipped away from her hair and her jawline was firmly held, the mouth against hers quivering incessantly any time they stole brief breaks to catch their breath.

"Never again," Liara's voice cracked. "Please. I can't stand by to just watch and do nothing again."

"The situation called for a single negotiator," Shepard mumbled her explanation, somewhat caught off guard and in a daze. Her chest felt like it was tightening from hearing the way the asari's words trembled so much. "I'm glad I can't see her cry," came from the source of politically incorrect thoughts. "I can't... It hurts to. I still haven't figured out how to console her." She blindly reached, touched the fuzzy circle, tried to figure out the shapes. She smiled when she got a halfhearted chuckle, for some reason, figuring she must've been touching something awkward. Her hand was guided to a safe resting place when she was pretty sure her fingertip was just about to drill into a nostril.

"I'm sorry, Liara. But I can't foretell the future. I can't make promises like that. Truthfully, I would've swapped places with you in a heartbeat, if C-Sec allowed me. I'm certain you would've resolved that situation within seconds. But for whatever reason, everybody thought I was a great idea and the ideal candidate for the job. I think Dr. Chakwas either had an aneurysm or lost a bet at the time she had recommended me - those are the only logical explanations I can think of."

Liara laughed softly. "Or she could've done it because she believed you'd be able to."

"Mm. Yeah. No. She knows my history. Anybody who knows my history would know - well, actually, did you see what I did?" Shepard felt something light and springy inside of her, similar to those happy memories she's been making. But she was more than just excited over the perfect revenge plan. At the time, she wanted to shout and yell for Liara.

Whatever the soldier's hand was on, she tried to squeeze, but it was flat against her palm. A cheek, perhaps. "Did you see what I did?" She urged when she didn't get an answer.

"You'll... Have to specify? You did a lot of things, you know."

"Yeah but, the most important part: I hugged her, Liara. I hugged a different person. And my head wasn't screaming at me to run to the other end of the bridge, or even jump off of it."

"Mm. Yes. That would certainly be an excellent alternative to gaining space. Rapidly."

"I hugged her! Shit, where are my-" Shepard looked around, but everything else was just sterile white and bright. "Where are my glasses? I need to see your face. I really wanted to turn and look at you before, but something told me it wasn't a good time."

Glasses slid on her face without prodding her ears in mistake, and that springy feeling inside of her had exploded tenfold upon seeing the depths of those blue eyes again. She didn't know what to do with herself, had wanted to jump out of bed and hug Liara too - but the subdued reaction from the one across from her had somewhat dampened that springiness. She didn't know what to do, what she was expecting, what she yearned from the asari.

Up until a calm hand clasped hers, squeezed, and those blue eyes swum with warm conviction.

"I'm proud of you," Liara whispered, then smirked as she wiped her eyes. "And yes, it was a very good idea to heed that inner voice. It wouldn't have been good timing to seek out my reaction, then."

Shepard looked back at the door, then the archaeologist. "Did Dr. Chakwas elude she'd been planning to abandon me, by any chance?"

"What?" Liara's head cocked cutely. "Erm, well after she showed me what I need to do, she asked if I'd be comfortable to handle it alone. We practised twice until I felt more confident. She said she was going to take some shore leave herself in the mean time, and if I ran into any issues then I could call her - or you'd know what to do, since... You know." Her eyes glinted dangerously. "This isn't anything new to you."

"It's a scratch," Shepard insisted in a lame drawl. "Whatever, that's not why I was asking."

"Don't whatever me," Liara grumbled.

Everything about her was becoming too much to handle, and honestly? Shepard kind of liked that. Once, her cheeks used to ache because she wasn't used to smiling - had to force it, most times. Now her cheeks wouldn't stop aching because she felt silly to be smiling all the time, trying to ration them, in a way. She let the asari grumble and scold away as she nonchalantly lowered the plinth's rails, then looked up and waited until Liara ran out of steam. Those blue eyes dipped to the lowered rails many times until her curiosity made her cave in.

"You're not planning to escape, are you?"

"Of course not. I have to heal, after all. I have to return to my peak condition as soon as possible, and it won't do anyone any good if I stay down. You, on the other hand... You're a little more flexible than I am, at the moment."

Fear struck Liara's eyes and she froze. "Shepard... What are you suggesting?"

"Isn't it obvious?"

"No!"

"I really have to work on what signals I'm sending her. How isn't it obvious, otherwise?" Shepard shrugged and patted her thighs. "No better time than now to dismantle my rifle and clean all the parts. Would you mind getting it from the armoury for me? Ah, and don't worry about accidentally discharging. All weaponry is decommissioned when it's surrendered to the armoury, and I know Chief Williams takes those duties very seriously. Look for my locker in the hangar bay. It's the HMW model I'd like to work on."

Liara stared blankly. She looked at the door, her stool kind of rolling towards it, before back to the bed. "I was expecting something else entirely, Shepard," she blurted. "That was not obvious whatsoever."

"Oh. I'll work on that, then. Was it the body language?"

"Yes," the word hissed out with breathy laughter. "Goddess, it was everything." She rose with a smile and squeezed Shepard's hand again. "Alright. I know where the hangar bay is, but truthfully, I've never visited the armoury. It may take me some time to figure it out."

"Not a problem." Shepard gestured with her synthetic arm. "You know my frequency, just call me on my omni-tool if you're stuck or if you find yourself in trouble."

Instinct guided them and they'd already settled in to their respective angled heads, having found to tilt to the right, the most natural feeling among them. Shepard initially closed her eyes, counting the seconds in her head. She always wanted to steal peeks, but learned that the asari seemed to feel awkward over eye contact. She opened her eyes and watched when they locked lips, observing the features soften and relax.

"I'm doing that. I'm helping her relax. Me, of all people."

That springy feeling was returning. Shepard smiled in the kiss when her glasses were slightly smushed against her nose bridge, digging somewhat uncomfortably. She didn't care to reposition - especially not when a shy tongue swiped at her lips, a signal to ask for permission that she'd established. It made her chest tighten and swell at the same time, and she opened her mouth. There was a mixture of trepidation and curiosity over how the sensation would be like, if she'd enjoy it, if she wouldn't accidentally bite, if-

She groaned when a timid tongue ran the tip along the roof of her mouth.

A content sigh eased out of her when Liara pulled away, her complexion significantly darkened even before she opened her eyes to observe for a reaction. A reaction, oh, she pulled so much more from that.

"Fuck," Shepard mouthed breathlessly.

That burning feeling was plaguing her nether region again.

It seemed to be the utmost pleasing reaction the asari had wanted, when she straightened back into standing, beaming proudly. The way she smiled like that, blushing furiously, was really doing it for the soldier.

"Let me try this body language thing again, Dr. T'Soni. I've thought of the perfect way to ensure I won't be misunderstood this time." She patted her thighs again. "Sit on me."

Liara's cheeks flushed deeply, and she took a step back as she stammered. "W-well clear communication is certainly a start. But... But you need to heal."

"No..."

"I'll go get your rifle now."

"No...!"

Shepard was helpless to stop the robot mechanically moving for the exit, her heart soaring with hope any time Liara would suddenly stop and glance over the shoulder at her. But oh, the tragedy, the archaeologist never returned. When she disappeared from the infirmary, Shepard's head fell in defeat. Over the course of her time spent with Liara, she had discovered that just how truly difficult it was to verbalize feelings, especially if she didn't quite understand what labels to attribute to define those feelings.

Now? One word perfectly encapsulated her emotions.

"Fuck."

Well, at least she could commence her real nefarious plan. She ensured the railings were down and locked, then casually flipped off the sheets and swung her legs over the edge of the plinth. She learned her limits quickly and where to place her weight as her heels touched the ground, the pressure shooting up and antagonizing her wound. She rolled up her shirt and pinned it to her ribs as she walked over to the med-kit by Dr. Chakwas' terminal.

There was only one definitive way to see the state of her wound. She removed the bandages and discarded them in the trash compartment, inspecting her wound and carefully pulling on her skin to be able to see it better from her angle.

"Mm, looks good. Not bad at all. Dr. Chakwas did a good job - must've reacted quickly and got medi-gel on me right away. C-Sec would've had to had access to a nearby med-kit. They were prepared for the situation with Talitha. Good, good..."

After thorough inspection and mental notes made of what she'd need to be wary of to ensure the healing process wouldn't be slowed too much, she applied a thin layer of medi-gel over her wound and disconnected herself to the vestiges of pain that burned upon touch. There must have been heat built-up under tissue over the pistol discharging so close. It explained why warmth diffused further across her abdomen, despite local inflammation being contained. She bandaged it up readily and searched through the med-kit for the roll of plastic that she could cut in proportion to the wound, taping down the edges on her skin to form a perfect square.

Satisfied with her job, she escaped the infirmary, knowing fully well that she'd sent Liara on a task that would take her a while. The soldier nonchalantly explored the ghost halls of the Normandy, heading to her quarters to retrieve her bath robe first. She then limped her way to the showers, having had a strong itch for one ever since the meld.

She needed to wash the blood, saliva and dust off her skin.

Unfortunately, what she had embarrassingly forgotten to take into account was the fact that she'd given Liara permission to call her. Her omni-tool lit up with a request for a vid-feed, and she looked around the locker rooms, positioning herself up against the cleanest and whitest wall she could find. She slightly tucked her chin into her neck to give off the impression that she was half-curled from sitting on a plinth, then smiled innocently when she answered the call.

"Dr. T'Soni," she greeted smoothly, "Are you having trouble?"

≤Yes, in trying to understand something.≥ For some reason, Liara had a blank expression. That changed when her eyes narrowed. ≤How many weapons do you need? They all almost fell out of your locker!≥

"I take great care to balance them precariously, please return them to the state they were," Shepard deflected, stalling for time to ponder the answer to a question she didn't quite understand herself. "To answer your puzzling inquiry: it's important to be adequately prepared and equipped for any situation."

≤Do you have any idea how much I panicked when I had a missile launcher fall in my hands?!≥

"It's decommissioned and there is no ammunition stored in anything, all heat sinks have also been removed."

≤That's not the point.≥ Liara sighed. Her eyes were doing that slight twitchy thing, and they were honing in in immense focus on Shepard. ≤I believe I see the rifle you're talking about here, I'll see you soon.≥

"What? Crap..." Shepard nodded calmly. "Understood. Rendezvous in 5 minutes."

Liara's face screwed up, her brow arched. Her lips thinned in a small smile of amusement. She gave a salute - god did that ever really do it for the soldier - and even embraced radio etiquette.

≤T'Soni out.≥

"Fuck."

That one word, whoever invented it, was a genius. It was the perfect expression to so much of what Shepard was feeling right now.

All composure was threatened to be utterly eradicated. She winced her way through removing her clothes in her rush to try to steal that shower before she'd have to hightail it back to the infirmary. There was no washing her hair, then, though, and that part felt the grimiest, the sandiest. She had crossed the line she did not ever want to cross - searching through somebody's belongings without their express permission. It was rude, distasteful, and worst of all?

It was Liara's locker.

"Where's that shower cap I got her?" Shepard grumbled as she sifted through the contents, taking it upon herself to re-organize the mess inside. "It's not an expedition, Liara. Are you reminiscing your archaeology no-boundary thing in here or something? This has to be because of That Fucking Monkey."

Every bottle was scanned, every tool set aside. Her chest tightened with panic upon confirming that there was something critical missing here - something that wasn't communicated with her.

"Yeah, the crest lubricant isn't in here. It was a large bottle. Did she already use it up? Did she hate it? Why hasn't she told me anything about it? I read it's not good to start a skin care routine and not be consistent with it. She needs to take better care of herself..."

Shepard was getting sidetracked. She let out a small cry of victory when she finally found the shower cap. It was sandwiched and horribly wrinkled from all the other bottles that were toppling it.

"Poor thing must've felt like it was buried under an avalanche."

She caught herself at that line of thinking. She was attributing emotions to inanimate objects now.

"I'll have to ask Dr. Chakwas to do a psychological review when she returns from shore leave. This is a concerning sign that my mental health is deteriorating."

Why? She wouldn't admit why, was fighting desperately hard to stay away the images and memories. The Phantom would strike like a snake and sink its fangs into her then.

Fully equipped and ready for battle, Shepard limped her way to the showers and took the closest one, grumbling when it wasn't working properly. She'd noticed a peculiar mark scratched on the side of the shower head and made a mental note to submit a request to have it replaced in hopes that was all that was needing to fix it. She went to the next shower, noticed the same mark.

"What is going on?" She tried to turn it on, and the shower head spurted pathetically as if it was dying. She growled and moved to her usual corner where she knew the shower worked. "I don't have time for this! She's going to scold me for the rest of my days if she doesn't find me in the infirmary, I just know it. The last thing I'll smell before I die is her burning brain from all her fretting."

Ice-cold water embraced her and she gasped from the shock, before her body assimilated quickly. The shivers ceased and the chilling temperature was welcome, bringing her mind to happy memories as she thought of the beach, or fishing at the university. Her mouth whisked away in a grin, though there was a pang that drilled in her heart - a familiar pang, one she had deduced when she realized she was missing Liara terribly, despite the determination she had at the time to stay away from the asari for her own protection.

It brought some confusing introspection when she reflected on her behaviour at the time.

"I wanted to stay away from her. Well, not wanted... I needed to. I was a danger to her. We could no longer be anything more than acquaintances. I was content with that - it was the right thing to do, after all. The only solution. But I still maintained my research efforts, still brainstormed things I'd like to try with her. Felt... Heavy, every time I looked around to try to find her. So stupid. What was I expecting? For her to magically appear out of thin air in my room?"

Shepard's smile grew a little.

"And then she did. She answered my prayers and showed up at my door when I felt I needed her most."

Why she had felt the way she had, though, was still somewhat of a mystery. The documentary made her miss Liara. The soldier studied and studied, losing herself to a foolish fantasy that she was so sure would never come back to life - to be able to hold Liara again, kiss her again, feel her smooth unblemished skin, smell the tea on her breath, be sucked in by the way those blue eyes looked at her as if she was the latest rifle model of the impeccably flawless HMW series.

"Fuck, and the sounds she makes..."

That burning sensation returned. It grew and expanded, making the soldier's blood feel like it was on fire. She couldn't make the water any colder any more though.

"Mm. You could use some extra work on the whole misunderstanding thing, Lucy Fair Shepard."

Shepard froze. Her glasses were smeared with all the water droplets, and she most definitely preferred that right now. She couldn't bring herself to look at the source of the voice she'd heard from the entrance to the showers.

"It's a hallucination. Has to be. My brain is just playing tricks on me because I know how screwed I am if I were to get caught. So it's making me panic. Yes, yes... That's the only logical explanation, of course."

"Though, I'd argue that body language made itself very clear to me in the moment - considering I had no body to work with."

"Please let that be the only explanation."

Tension flooded the showers. Shepard tried to fall to her mantras, only to crack in desperation when she wasn't given the time or chance to prepare herself.

"So what are you doing here instead of, oh I don't know, where you should most definitely be?"

"How did you find me here?" Shepard croaked incredulously as her head turned. She counted her blessings that she couldn't make out the finer details with her smeared glasses. It seemed as though Liara was leaning against the wall, arms crossed. "I'm in so much trouble. She even used my full name again."

"I recognized the wall in the vid-feed when I took a closer look," Liara shrugged.

"How? There were no marks, it was as white-"

"There are marks," came the simple answer, and it didn't seem like she was going to elaborate any time soon. Liara's sigh and disappointed tone made the soldier's stomach knot uncomfortably. "Shepard..."

Desperate to blast away the fretting, to stall the scolding, Shepard hadn't put any thought as self-preservation kicked in to save her.

"I needed to wash Simone off."

There was silence, for a moment, confusion in the atmosphere, it felt like. Then Liara inhaled sharply.

"Oh, Lucy," was all she said.

Her footsteps rapidly neared, making the soldier panic. She'd turned around and observed where she was going to be struck, planning her escape and which direction she needed to run around. She froze in place when she saw arms wide out, paralyzed by that infectious agent that the blanket instilled in her blood. Shepard didn't know how to interpret this situation, this hostility, when she was embraced instead.

"Liara's hugs are always warm. She's never used it as a weapon. Is she trying to make sure I can't run? Lock my limbs down? This has to be a tactic to-"

Pressure - pleasant sensations callously dulled by the wretched water - sank below her ear. She heard the sounds, was aware that Liara was kissing the corner of her jaw. Her forehead creased, her eyebrows pinched, bewildered by this sudden change where she was sure the asari was mad at her, and now... Not?

"Liara?" Shepard murmured. "I don't understand."

The body against hers trembled. She frowned and tried to step away.

"You're getting cold, your clothes are soaking. Let's turn the shower off and-"

"I'm so sorry, Lucy," the words quivered, fading in and out. "I'm so sorry I made you relive all of that."

"It's okay," Shepard resolutely reassured, "Liara, c'mon. You're going to get sick. Do you want me to scold you? Is that what gets you going?"

Weak laughter graced her, made her smile. Her skin itched though. Her heart squeezed. It was getting harder to breathe. It was getting harder and harder to stay here when she kept hearing her name.

"Luce," Liara whispered, a frail and shaky passing. "Please. I don't know what to do, what to say, but I'm here. It's okay. It's okay. I already know you're so, so strong. You won't be weak, and I'll never see you in a lesser light, if you... Just let yourself..." She sucked in a short breath. "Just... I'm here."

"Against my will - you weren't supposed to find me so quickly. It's not often my plans fail, especially in a dramatic manner such as this."

Shepard wasn't entirely sure what the archaeologist was trying to get at, wasn't sure why it was making her skin itch even more. When she pulled away to frame Liara's face and stole a quick kiss, she figured it out. She tasted salt. The shower was masking the tears, and it just wouldn't do. It was drilling in panic along with that itchiness.

"I still don't know how to comfort her."

If Liara wasn't going to get out of this bloody shower and get herself warm, then the soldier would just have to do it for her. She reached blindly behind until she'd caught the handle and turned it off, then swiftly moved to catch Liara off guard and scoop her up. The yelp was absolutely delightful, especially when followed with incoherent stammering. She knew she was going to get scolded, and was ever so happy to learn that it wouldn't be right in this moment, when a face tucked in her neck instead. A weak fist beat on her shoulder.

"I hate knowing I can't make you do anything," Liara grumbled.

Not a beat was missed.

"I'm the Commander, after all. I listen to nobody's command but my own."

"What about advice?"

"I have enough trouble taking suggestions," the soldier scoffed. Then she softened. "Well, if it's you..."

"Then may I please advise you to let me down so that you don't make your injury worse?"

"Liara, it really is fine." Shepard respected the request when they'd entered the locker rooms and carefully let Liara down on the bench, then went to grab many towels for her. She was bundled up all the way up to her neck, and the soldier smirked playfully when she tugged on the lip of the towel to cover Liara's mouth. She shot a dead stare, but played along with muffled words.

"You keep saying that, but-"

"Dr. Chakwas wouldn't have actually left if it wasn't fine, I assure you. She knows I can handle myself, and that this injury isn't as serious as ones I've dealt with in the past. I truly am honest when I say that whatever happened before - whatever you saw - was just being dramatic at the time."

"You were shot," Liara hissed, and her eyes slipped shut. "There's no downplaying what I saw."

Shepard observed, sensing something else here. She didn't know what she was listening for though. She pressed to continue to reassure that the injury wasn't a big deal.

"Medi-gel is most effective when deployed as soon as possible. A lot of the consequences that come after being injured was halted because of it. There's no swelling, as I'm sure you saw when you replaced my bandages yourself. There's no bleeding, and the scabbing phase has already started. The most discomfort that I have right now is that my stomach's just a little warm, and that's all. I promise you-"

"I saw you get shot." Liara's hands poked out to clutch the ends of the towel, tightening it around herself even more. "I saw your blood, saw that you aren't as invincible as I thought you were. Just like that, I stood, watched, and witnessed how you could die - and it all took a matter of seconds. An accidental discharge of a gun, something that even you couldn't calculate and predict. You, who has survived so much, you're just... You're not even disturbed. You're not even disturbed, Luce, and that disturbs me."

Every time she heard her name, there was something lurching inside of her, actually wanting to lash out. She had to shove it back in the cage every time. Now wasn't the time, but... But she couldn't help it. She hesitantly laid a hand on the asari's shoulder.

"Shepard, please," she whispered as tenderly as she could. She wrapped a towel around herself as she sat on the bench beside Liara, experimenting again by drawing circles between the shoulder blades. "I'm... I feel like I'm not completely understanding everything you are going through right now, but what I do understand is that you seem to be worried that I'll die in front of you."

"That you'll die at all."

"What is she going to do, then, when that time comes? Everybody dies. She'll outlive me. Maybe we shouldn't be pursuing this relationship if she's this troubled already, just by the idea of it. But... I don't want this to end. What can I do to reassure her? Make her feel better, but not lie to her that my death is inevitable?"

Shepard looked up at the ceiling in contemplation. Then back down at Liara, renewing the paths she traced with the circle. "I promise that the only thing that will kill me is being poisoned by your horrible cooking."

Pitiful laughter skipped in the air, and it seemed to make Liara cry harder instead. The soldier frowned.

"I can never figure it out..."

Finally, Liara sighed, but it seemed to be one of defeat - and that hurt.

"I suppose I should have expected that." Her mouth poked out the lip of the towel, a strained smile. She used the ends of the towel to wipe her eyes. "I'm sorry for that. I'll be fine."

"No you're not, and I am consulting Dr. Chakwas about this as soon as she steps back onto the Normandy."

For now, Shepard conceded, however reluctantly. She followed the way those blue orbs dipped down at her towel, before fixating firmly in the opposite direction. She saw the way Liara's complexion darkened and swallowed that blue skin, even all the way to the back of her neck.

"C-could you please put some clothes on, Shepard?"

"Yes, of course. But first: we're undressing you."

Liara's head whipped around so fiercely. The soldier lunged to attack and opened her mouth to scold that a whiplash was inevitable if that kept up, only to be silenced with a cry.

"What?! Why?!"

"For someone so intelligent, sometimes she asks the strangest questions." Shepard rose with a frown, taking it upon herself to grab the asari's towels - who had gripped them herself as if she was hanging on a ledge for dear life. "You're going to get sick if you stay in those clothes, your body temperature will drop to dangerous levels and weaken your immune system's capabilities to fight off viruses. How are you still uncomfortable? We've been showering and changing beside each other for a while now."

"Y-yes, but, but you're trying to undress me now."

"Uh..." Shepard's head tilted in confusion. "Yes...? And?"

"Just turn around," Liara hissed, "I'll do it. Please, Shepard."

The soldier shrugged and did as she was asked. She relinquished her own towel and dried herself off, blindly searching her locker to the side for her things. She began to dress herself, her interest and curiosity piqued when the asari inhaled sharply.

"Do you need assistance, Liara?"

"No, no, I'm alright."

A finger prodded something on Shepard's back though. It stung, however small.

"You're not, though."

"Oh my god," Shepard groaned, rolling her eyes as she straightened. "I'm positive that's just a scratch from my own nails, when my back was itchy. As soon as Dr. Chakwas returns, you're getting medicated."

"Or you could stop hurting yourself," Liara grumbled. "That kind of medicine works best for me."

Scold after scold after scold, and it came - the whole part about not being in the infirmary right now, as expected. Shepard sighed and sighed and sighed. When she was dressed, she turned around and decided to employ the best method to silence Liara: kissing her. The archaeologist had flushed a dark purple, having been caught in the nude, but honestly?

"She asked for it by electing to lecture me instead of dressing up. This will teach her that she really should be worrying about herself more."

No mercy. This was her punishment. Shepard framed the searing hot cheeks and pushed harder, swallowing a gasp in her mouth when she'd gotten Liara's bare back to curve and touch against the cold locker. She swallowed another when she'd grabbed the asari's rump and lifted her, hands sliding under the hamstrings to rip away any chance of escape as Liara's back fully flattened, her heels brushing the edge of the bench.

"Shepard," Liara breathed in between kisses, "Please-"

"This is what you get for worrying about me," the soldier grumbled, diving down to suck on the pulse thundering away at the flushed neck. "Like: fuck, Liara. Don't you know that I hate it when you worry? Is my body language clear now, no misunderstandings?"

"I-" Liara shuddered, clawing to grip shoulders in desperation. "I mean - you could still do with more clarification? Because this is sending very mixed signals now."

"Well, then I'll communicate it. I hate it when you worry." Shepard pressed firmer, resting a knee up on the bench so that she could crush with her own bloody body too. "It drives me crazy. It hurts. I never know what to say or do to get you to stop worrying, or to comfort you when you're sad. I hate it, Liara. I really, really fucking hate it, and there's not many things I can so readily say that I hate. I hate this bruise on your neck too." She suckled on a patch of skin in between her lips and gently bit the asari's throat. "I hate being the reason for hurting you so much. How the hell are you still here? Your whole 'it hurts just as much as it's worth' thing, it's just... I'm not worth this much pain and anxiety."

"Shepard, could we just - you know, sit down to talk? This - I mean I don't mind it - but this is, well, kind of, you know. Making it hard to think."

"Too bad," the soldier mumbled. "I need to get this out my system first. I'll reiterate what you've forgotten, but later." She picked a new spot, softly kissing Liara's shoulder. It wasn't enough. That burning feeling inside of her was growing stronger, and it was maddening. She suckled in the skin and bit again. She brought her other knee up on the bench, pulled on Liara so that their hips connected - and it felt right. She drew another sound, a sound she hadn't heard before, and that feeling of liquid fire was burning through her blood again. She grunted when nails twisted in the fabric of her shirt, still able to dry-rake across her shoulders.

"This is getting out of hand," Liara groaned, "We need to calm down."

"No. You won't stay calm for long as soon as you find another cut on me, somewhere. I'll calm down if you promise to stop worrying when I get the slightest damn scratch," Shepard griped. Her hands were slipping, and she readjusted how Liara sat in them. She pinned hips against the locker as they rose a little higher, and she drew that sound again. She rested her forehead against Liara's shoulder and experimented as she looked down to watch where they'd been joined, regretting she hadn't wiped the water spots off her glasses. She moved in small circles, listened to the panting as lips touched her ear.

"Goddess," the asari shivered, her grip tightening almost painfully.

"You're short of breath," Shepard noted quietly, but never stopped her experiment. "Are you okay? It's not safe to hyperventilate. I cannot actually prescribe or give medication so if you induce a panic attack then-"

"Not hyperventilating," Liara hissed between gasps for air. She pushed away on the soldier's shoulders, who reluctantly straightened. She was caught off guard by the ardent way lips crashed over hers, groaned when a tongue thrust in her mouth and ran along the roof of her mouth again. She fed off the impassioned vehemence of the archaeologist's actions, only to stop abruptly when she was no longer able to move.

The kiss was broken, arms flew around to embrace her shoulders, and the asari muffled something in her neck.

"What was that?" Shepard asked, trying to steal a peek and look down when she'd felt the way Liara's hips rocked in a twitchy rhythm. Another muffle. A pitiful whine - deeply concerning. "Liara, I can't hear you. What are you saying? And what are you doing? Do you need to use the bathroom? Are you hurt? You sound like you're in pain."

A low groan, though it gave off mixed signals itself. It sounded frustrated, but... Not?

Tiredly, Liara adjusted her head, her body slackening at a very concerning rapid pace. She placed a weak kiss on the side of Shepard's neck.

"I'm dead. I can't move."

"What?! I told you you shouldn't have hyperventilated," Shepard growled, adjusting her grip as she took the archaeologist off the lockers and placed her down on the bench. She framed Liara's face and lightly drummed on her cheeks. "Look at me, you're losing focus. Why didn't you - fuck, Liara. Why didn't you listen to me? Do I need to call Dr. Chakwas? Do I-"

"Shh... It's okay."

Shepard's brow pinched in bewilderment. She looked down when a lazy finger landed on her lips, observing when Liara leaned back against the lockers. Her skin was clammy, but hot to the touch. Her eyes fluttered shut, but at least her breathing was evening out and returning to normal. It felt like years had passed and the soldier was increasingly impatient, shocked away when those blue orbs made their debut again. They were clouded, darkened, and something whispered hungry to her.

"I am so confused right now," Shepard blurted. "What just happened? I can't tell if you're dying or not. Ready to devour all of the Normandy's rations, certainly."

Liara smiled sloppily, in a blissful way. "I'm okay," she explained, but she sounded so exhausted. "That was wonderful, Shepard."

"...What?"

Holy mother of fucking fucks was there ever a strong urge to shake Liara by the shoulders. Was she having a mental breakdown? This was getting more and more baffling by the second.

"And you said I was giving mixed signals?" Shepard huffed as she crossed her arms. "You are way worse than me right now, surely."

Liara chuckled weakly, and her head lulled back against the locker as she closed her eyes. "I just need another minute, then I'll dress - could you look away, though? I admit I'm feeling quite awkward right now."

Shepard turned resolutely. "You don't have to be, it's just me. Are you sure you're okay?"

She heard the smile beaming in the asari's voice.

"I'm certain I'm far better than just 'okay'."

A beat.

"Still dead though."

The soldier groaned. "Hands down, you are definitely the most strangest asari in the entire galaxy."

Liara laughed.