Author's Note: Chapter 4 up! I have chapter 5 pretty much done, just editing it right now.
As always comments and critics always welcome! ^_^
Chapter 3: Shall I Share My Tears With Thee?
Tobio checked the rice he was making for dinner, but paused when he heard his phone go off. He checked his messages and saw that it was Hinata, letting him know that he made it home. He smiled slightly but paused. He wanted to tell Hinata how happy he was to have him as a soulmate, but wasn't that too soon? They may have known each other for months now, but it's not like they had been talking and hanging out the entire time. Even so Tobio knew that, soulmate or not, Hinata was going to be a permanent part of his life. But…
What if he comes off too strong? Or what if he worded it weird and made it come off as if he was interested in him romantically? What if he came off as a creep? The last thing he wanted to do was scare Hinata off, especially after what happened with..
He stopped that thought in its tracks, refusing to even finish the sentence. He was in a better place now and he refused to send himself through another bout of painful memories. Despite his best attempts though, the memories of discovering his soulmates came back. The pure hatred in Oikawa's eyes when he screamed at him, the way Iwaizumi had to literally drag Oikawa away from him. He honestly couldn't say what had hurt worse, the fact that Oikawa was so vehemently opposed to the relationship, or the fact that Iwaizumi didn't respond to it at all, and instead had just taken Oikawa away that night and then kept his distance from him from then on.
He closed his eyes and took a slow breath, calming himself. He reminded himself that he wasn't a clueless twelve year-old anymore. He may still have many flaws and definitely had room to grow, but he was in a better place, with teammates that cared about him. He still had a long way to go with Tsukishima but even with all the teasing Tobio knew that Tsukishima, at the very least, considered him as a teammate. And now he had Hinata, his platonic soulmate, who seemed just as happy as he was about the bond. At least, that's how he came off.
Tobio's eyes widened. What if he was reading it wrong? What if he was the only one that was happy that they were bonded? Would Hinata lie like that? Every fiber of his being said no but that nigle of doubt was insistent.
As if sensing his inner turmoil, his phone went off again.
Hinata Shoyo - 7:41 p.m.
Hey Kags, everything ok? I feel anxious?
He winced at that. The last thing he wanted was to burden Hinata with all his baggage. He took a calming breath in an effort to stop the flow of emotion over the bond.
Me - 7:43 p.m.
Sorry, everything's fine, don't worry
Hinata Shoyo - 7:43 p.m.
Kags, you know you can talk to me, right?
Me - 7:44 p.m.
I know, it's just a lot.
Hinata Shoyo - 7:44 p.m.
That's okay, I can handle a lot!
Me - 7:44 p.m.
I know you can, I just can't tell you yet
Hinata Shoyo - 7:46 p.m.
That's okay too! Just know that I want to be there for you and I'm here when you need me.
I know that it hasn't been long since we became soulmates, but I really care about you and I want to help you if I can.
Tobio smiled softly. How on earth could he doubt someone as sweet and honest as Hinata? He really needed to get better control of his inner demons, otherwise he would be missing out.
Me - 7:48 p.m.
I know. I really appreciate it.
He felt himself hesitate again but pushed through it. He wasn't ready to tell all of his deep dark secrets to him yet, but Hinata deserved to at least know how much his presence in his life meant to him.
Me - 7:51 p.m.
I'm really glad you're my soulmate.
I know I'm not good at saying it but I'm really grateful.
Thank you
He anxiously waited for his reply. Was that too much? Before he could over think again his phone pinged with Hinata's response.
Hinata Shoyo - 7:54 p.m.
OMG Kags, you're killing me!
I'm so glad we're soulmates too! (≡^∇^≡)
I'm kinda glad you don't say things like this a lot though,
idk how much of Softyama I could take! (σ´∀｀)σ
Tobio snorted.
Me - 7:54 p.m.
Shut up dumbass, it'll never happen again.
Hinata Shoyo - 7:54 p.m.
Noooooo
Why so cold?
Such a tsundere you are
Me - 7:54 p.m.
Fuck you
Hinata Shoyo - 7:55 p.m.
Ah, now there's the Crankyama I know and love lol
He rolled his eyes at that but couldn't help but chuckle.
Hinata Shoyo - 7:56 p.m.
Anyways, I better go, otherwise Natsu's gonna have a fit
Me - 7:56 p.m.
Okay
Night Shoyo
He bit his lip, hoping he wasn't pushing it.
Hinata Shoyo - 7:57 p.m.
Ack! Softyama strikes again!
Lol night Tobio!
Tobio shook his head fondly at his antics before placing his phone back on the counter so he could take the fried rice off the stove. He poured a large portion in a bowl and snagged some chopsticks before sitting himself in front of the TV to watch the pro volleyball match that he had prerecorded. He had just finished his last bite of food when his phone went off again. Thinking it was Hinata, he scooped up his phone to reply, but stopped at the unknown number.
Unknown Number - 8:02 p.m.
Hey Kageyama, I know it's been a long time
since we've spoken, but I was wondering if you would
be open to talking? I know it's long overdue, and for
that I really am sorry, but I want to apologize face to
face. If you never want to talk to me again I understand,
but if you could spare even a few minutes please let me
know. I know I have no right to ask this of you and
you have every right to refuse, but…
Let me know.
He blinked, not recognizing the number. Who the hell would be texting him at this hour with an unknown number? And asking to apologize? He was so confused. Unless…
He shook his head. No. There was no way that Oikawa would apologize, he had way too much pride, and Iwaizumi, well, he didn't seem like he would care enough to go out of his way and text him like this.
Tobio decided it was better to ignore the message and start his nightly routine when his phone went off again.
Unknown - 8:07 p.m.
You don't have to respond right now, I don't want
to make you stress out or anything. That being
said I also was texting so I could warn you that
we'll be seeing you soon anyway. I didn't want it
to be a surprise.
Anyways, have a good night, and see you at
the match.
Okay now he was even more confused. Who the hell was this? And why did they think that he would be meeting them soon? A match? He hadn't heard anything about an upcoming match from the club advisor or any of his Senpais.
Deciding once again to ignore the message, he cleaned up his mess and then continued his nightly routine. He locked all the doors and windows, being sure to check each lock the usual three times. He brushed his teeth for exactly four minutes, showered for twenty, dressed in his pajamas, set his alarm, and started on his 100 sets, being sure to count each one to ensure that he set exactly the right amount before taking his meds, turning off the lights and tucking in for the night.
Tobio stared at his ceiling, as if it held the answer as to who that random texter was, and how they got his number in the first place. He still couldn't figure out who would want to apologize to him so badly, since from what he remembered everyone from Kitagawa Daiichi pretty much wanted nothing to do with him, and at this point to be honest the feeling was kind of mutual. He didn't hate any of them for what happened, but he didn't exactly want to face them yet, it was just too soon.
Even thinking about junior high made him choke a little. He gave a hearty cough and gently pulled the flower petal out of his mouth. It had been a while since he had been to one of his purging sessions, so occasionally if he thought too hard about them or if for some reason his soulmates were thinking of him he could still have a reaction. This time it was only one petal so luckily it hadn't really hurt very much, though he was surprised to find that the petal was from a forget-me-not. Why on earth would either of his soulmates not want him to forget them? Hell, how could he forget them, after all that went down between them? It was laughable at best.
Deciding that he didn't want to dwell on it, he dropped the petal in the basin next to his bed (in case of emergencies) and rolled over to face the wall before promptly falling asleep.
~*(&)*~
Tobio sat up, turning his alarm off. He checked his phone and found the usual good morning text from Hinata. The mystery texter didn't send him anything else last night so he figured it was nothing important.
With that out of the way he continued his morning routine. He brushed his teeth, combed his hair with the usual 52 strokes. He got dressed and took his meds. He stopped before he grabbed his bag and decided to bring his emergency inhaler just in case. He couldn't get in for an appointment until the next day, so better safe than sorry he figured. He snagged a protein bar and a milk box from the fridge for his breakfast before he checked all the windows and doors again. Once he deemed all of them secure he yanked his shoes on and walked out the front door, making sure he checked it three times before he left.
Before he knew it he was nearly at the school gates when he heard someone shouting behind him. He turned and saw Hinata in a full on sprint. Tobio scowled before taking off himself. They really should ban head starts in their competitions, it just left a bad taste in his mouth to lose because of that.
Hinata gave him a triumphant grin before walking up the stairs to the club room.
"It doesn't count if you get a head start, dumbass." Tobio grumbled, readjusting his bag on his shoulder as they made their way up.
Hinata snorted "Well good morning to you too Crankyama."
He rolled his eyes at that but chose not to comment, leaning on the rail as they waited for one of the seniors to come and unlock the door.
Tobio looked at him then, wondering if he should tell him about the mystery texter. His first instinct was to say nothing and forget about it, but he had a feeling that maybe it actually was someone he knew and if anyone could help him figure out how to reply to them, it would be Hinata.
"Um." Well, that was a great conversation starter. Luckily Hinata was used to his social constipation, so he simply tilted his head in question and waited for him to continue. "I got a weird text last night."
Hinata raised his eyebrow at that. "A weird text? Who was it from?"
"Don't know." He said with a shrug. He pulled his phone out of his back pocket to show him. Hinata scowled in confusion when he read the text.
"See you next match? Are we playing anyone in particular soon that you would know?"
Tobio shook his head no. "Not that I know of. And even if we were, I have no idea who would want to apologize to me, since everyone from junior high blocked me on everything anyway."
Hinata gave him a sympathetic look. He patted Tobio's arm and gently sent soothing waves through the bond. It honestly wasn't necessary but Tobio was grateful nonetheless.
"Maybe it's someone from your old school that wants to reconnect?" Tobio scrunched his nose at that, not really wanting to even think about that possibility. "Oh don't give me that look, it could happen. Who knows? Regardless, you don't have to reply even if they reached out like this. If we really are going to meet them at a match at some point, you can address it then. It's really up to you on whether you want to engage with them or not."
Tobio stared at him in disbelief. How in the hell did he come up with that so fast? And it was such a relaxed answer too. Despite his best efforts Tobio had been fretting over it since he got the first message and even the thought of a confrontation made him a little nauseous. Before he could say anything in reply Daichi showed up.
"Morning guys." Daichi greeted, unlocking the door. Tobio grunted a greeting while Hinata gave a cheery 'good morning!'. They got ready as more of their teammates filed into the club room and together they headed to the gym, immediately bolting to the closet to get the ball bins out before they all started practicing.
The rest of the day went on like usual, the mystery person pretty much forgotten by the end of the day. That is, until near the end of their after school practice when Takeda-sensei came barreling through the doors.
"We've got a practice match!" He hollered, nearly tripping over the step in front of the doors in his haste. Tobio shared a look with Hinata, knowing that he was probably thinking the same thing. That this was what the person was talking about last night.
"With who?" Daichi asked, clearly just as excited as everyone else.
"Aoba Johsai." Every muscle in Tobio's body froze at that name. It couldn't be, there was no way that they would do this. How would they even know that he went to Karasuno in the first place? There was just no way.
He felt a warm feeling flow through the bond, trying to calm his sudden anxiety. Tobio gave a small nod to Hinata, but couldn't muster the words to say thank you. Even with the soothing waves coming from Hinata, he felt the tell-tale signs of a panic attack coming on.
"Really? But they're such a powerhouse school, why would they agree to a match like this? Did you beg them again?" Tanaka said, earning him a smack upside the head by Ennoshita.
"Oh no, while I pride myself in being persistent, they actually called and asked us for the match! Although there was a condition." Takeda-sensei then turned and looked at Tobio curiously. Tobio closed his eyes, dreading what he would say next. "Kageyama-kun has to play as our setter."
And there it was. What Tobio feared most was now a reality. Now there was no doubt in his mind that the texter was either Oikawa or Iwaizumi, since only Oikawa would have the gaul to make a request like that to a teacher. He could hear Tanaka protest the request but his voice was fading away. He felt the familiar tight scratchy feeling, but luckily it wasn't severe so he was able to keep them down.
"Tobio?" Hinata whispered, gently touching Tobio's wrist. Tobio snapped back into focus and looked him in the eyes, the warm and comforting caramel color offering safety and understanding. He took a shaky breath but shook his head, not wanting to break down in front of the team. Hinata nodded in understanding but his grip on Tobio's arm tightened, as if he was afraid to let him go. Tobio didn't say anything about it, finding that it was easier to breathe with him so close.
"I say let's do it." Sugawara suddenly said, shocking the rest of the team, including Tobio.
"But… Suga, you're our setter!" Tanaka insisted. Tobio eyed Sugawara warily, not really knowing what was going on in his head. The last thing that Tobio wanted was to lose Sugawara as his senpai. He didn't want to be hated like he was before, he didn't want him to-
"I want to see how our freak duo's quick attack does in a real match." Sugawara said with a smile. He met Tobio's disbelieving eyes and gave him a wink.
Tobio was floored. How was he so calm about it? He was so good with the team and Tobio knew that Sugawara loved playing volleyball just as much as he did.
Even after leaving the club room he was still confused about it. He saw Sugawara waiting for everyone at the school gates and decided that he needed to talk to him.
"Sugawara-san!" He called, hurrying over. Sugawara turned at the sound of his name and smiled at him.
"Ah, Kageyama! Hi there. And please, call me Suga. 'San' just makes me feel old." He said with a chuckle. Tobio nodded. Suga grinned before giving Tobio a hearty slap on the back, nearly knocking the first year over. "You wanna start heading towards the market? Daichi is buying us meat buns!"
Tobio nodded again and together they walked down the hill towards the store. It felt really awkward since Tobio really wanted to say something but had no idea how to word it. Meanwhile Sugawara-or Suga rather, seemed perfectly content to walk to the store with him. Frustrated, Tobio blurted out the first thing that came to mind.
"I know they asked me to be the starting setter this time, but moving forward I'll work really hard to earn my spot on this team." He said in a rush. Suga gave him a startled look, apparently not expecting Tobio to speak at all. The senior blinked before he burst out laughing. Tobio tilted his head in confusion, not really understanding what was so funny. Suga shook his head fondly.
"Sorry Kageyama, it's just that I was surprised you would say something like that. Especially considering how much of a natural you are." Suga said, still chuckling.
"That can't compensate for experience!" Tobio insisted, throwing Suga into another fit of giggles. "Plus…" He trailed off, looking behind him to where their other teammates were following farther back, joking and talking with one another. "I'm not… The team trusts you a lot and I need to learn how to earn that trust and work with them properly."
Suga's eyes widened at that before a huge smile overtook his face. "Oh boy, Hinata wasn't joking when he said you're really a big softy under all that awkward grumpiness."
Tobio scowled at that, not really knowing what Suga meant by that but he did know that he and Hinata were going to have a serious conversation about this later. Or he would yell at him, whatever came first. Suga snorted at the look on his face and ruffled his hair affectionately.
"Don't worry Kageyama, that comes with time. I can help you though, if you want." Tobio's jaw dropped at the notion.
"Really?" he said hesitantly. Suga smiled and nodded.
"Well of course! W hat kind of a senpai would I be if I didn't help all my adorable kohai's when they needed me?" He replied easily. Tobio bowed in thanks but Suga brushed it off with a wave of his hand. He stopped and looked at Tobio as if he wanted to say something.
"What?" He couldn't help but ask, a hand coming up to touch his face to see if there was leftover food there or something.
"I don't mean to pry, but…" Suga hesitated, seemingly unsure of how to continue. "You seemed troubled when Takeda-sensei mentioned that the school who requested the match was Aoba Johsai."
Well that was an understatement. "Yeah."
"Seijoh is where most of the kids from Kitagawa Daiichi usually go, right?" Tobio tensed at that, not really anticipating how perceptive Suga would be. "Are you nervous?"
Tobio thought about it for a minute. Was he nervous? At first he was petrified when he realized that it could have been his soulmates that orchestrated this, meaning they were trying to meet him again in person. As for the rest of his old classmates though….
"I'll have to face them eventually if we want to make it to nationals, now isn't much different from later." Tobio found himself saying, surprising them both. True, he was still sad about what happened in his final year, but after some reflection the past few weeks and how he had been interacting with his new team, he realized that while not all of the blame could be placed solely on him, he was definitely at fault. Tough love could definitely be a good tactic, but there was a time and place for it, and if he was honest with himself he was so harsh with a lot of them that it couldn't really be called tough love when he was so mean about it, intentionally or not. He still had a long way to go in order to be the leader and setter that he wanted to be, but at the very least he recognized his mistake and he could grow from it.
Suga smiled and ruffled his hair again before greeting the rest of the team as they finally arrived at the shop. Tobio felt the corners of his mouth twitch into a smile as he watched Suga walk into the store with Daichi, hands interlocked. He had learned early on that they were soulmates, since their soulmarks were located on the top of their left hands, an upside down apple tree with its roots wrapping around their ring fingers, and a honey badger rested on the knuckle, encircled by the roots . Tobio refused to feel sad or resentful about it. They were great people and just because it didn't work out with his own soulbond, didn't mean that others couldn't be happy with theirs.
He subconsciously looked at his right arm where his mark was, currently covered by his jacket sleeve. He was careful and made sure that it was covered whenever he went out, the questions that people asked when they saw how faded it was too exhausting to answer over and over again. He wasn't ashamed of the mark nor did he want it gone, but he'd be lying if he said that it had caused him nothing but trouble ever since it formed on his arm.