Hello all! And welcome back, I hope you're ready, cause it's finally happening! I really hope this comes out as wholesome, and diabetes inducingly sweet as I intended, but I suppose you get to be the judge of that! Regardless, I hope you enjoy!
(also, this isn't the end, don't worry, I still have more planned!)
-marketvalueneps
B-sha's words hung in the air, like mist over an ominous lake. For a moment neither woman said anything, and as the silence grew, so did both women's trepidation. As Neptune waited for B-sha to do anything, she grew more and more content to just wait her out, and just hope she left. Like everyone else did… even her own sister. If she did just leave… then she wouldn't have to think about it anymore… that would be much easier. That would be so much easier than thinking about it…
As B-sha waited for Neptune to say anything, her own nerves grew… what would she do? How would she do it? How would she get Neptune into a state where she could confront the real issues that faced her? B-sha knew very well how difficult it was to face what plagued your heart, how difficult it was to face the truth, and how painful the feeling of vulnerability was… but she also knew; Neptune was suffering. Her eyes reflected her pain, and… B-sha shared that pain. She couldn't keep going like that, she wouldn't last.
As they both awaited the other, the silence grew more and more deafening, till B-sha could feel it eating at her soul. This wasn't how it was supposed to be… she and Neptune… were supposed to talk… supposed to enjoy each other's presence, the company, the comfort they brought the other, the feeling of honesty. When did it become so hard? How did it become so messed up?
B-sha knew the answer to that.
Gritting her teeth as the image of a black adorned goddess flashed in her mind, B-sha felt a bitter sort of resentment form in her conscience. Noire…
This was all her fault.
How could she!? How could she do this to her? How could she still not see just how much she had hurt her? How could she not see how good she had it? Neptune had to be better? B-sha could laugh, did Noire ever look in the mirror? The hardass, perfectionist, egotistical, loner, insecure, so called goddess? She did this. She made Neptune like this. She loved her? B-sha could laugh. She was just projecting her insecurities on Neptune.
Love wasn't that shallow. Love was when you loved all the small things about someone. When you think they're the most gorgeous person in the world, even when they have pudding splattered all over their face. When you think they're hilarious even when everyone else rolls their eyes. It was… it was looking at someone with the worst case of bed head and still thinking they're adorable. Love is an emotional connection… It isn't trying to 'fix' everything about a person, as if you even know what the hell that means!
Love wasn't that! B-sha knew it. Did B-sha herself truly know what love was? Perhaps not… but she was starting to get a good idea.
B-sha could feel herself grow more and more resentful. How dare she? How dare Noire say she loved Neptune!? What the hell did Neptune ever do to deserve this? This was all Noire's fault, and B-sha would fix what she had broken. Even if it killed her.
"Nep-Nep…" B-sha eventually started. Unaware of how much time she had spent in the room up until this point, it could have been 5 minutes, it could have been an hour… B-sha didn't know. But just as she started, Neptune clutched the blanket she had wrapped around herself even closer,
"Didn't you hear me…?" She weakly asked, already at her limit for the day. After she pushed away Peashy… she didn't know how much more she could handle…
"And didn't you hear me? I'm not leaving until I see a smile!" B-sha pouted as she crossed her arms, as Neptune merely sighed,
"Why? What's the point?" She asked, disinterested,
"Wha? Is that really you Nep-Nep? How can you possibly say that? You… you're supposed to be the one fighting to protect the smiles of Planeptune's people? Right? I thought… I thought that's what you wanted? Peaceful calm days for the people of Planeptune… I saw it… I saw it in your dream…" B-sha for the first time seemed to have some reservation, this just didn't even sound like the same person anymore,
"What's the point of dreams? Dreams are the reason we feel so bad when it all comes crashing down…" Neptune sat up as she looked her friend in the eye, who could only feel herself taken aback, before feeling tears fall down her face, Neptune didn't know what it was… but something about what she had done made her regret her words. Even if she was only able to ponder the emotion for but a second, before she felt a sting in her face, rubbing her cheek where her friend had run her hand across her face, feeling a shadow cover her eye,
"Shut up! Shut up! Stop that! That's not the Nep-Nep I know!" B-sha lectured as she pointed her gloved hand at the goddess, who only rubbed the wound, her mouth moving up and down, even if no words came out, eventually she bit her lip, as she forced herself to speak,
"What is… the Neptune you know…?" She softly asked, unsure of the answer. At one point, she was sure she knew the answer. But, was that truly the answer she sought out…? Or was it just the easiest alternative, a life of no risk… the never changing life of a protagonist… a selfish life she forced onto everyone else…
"What?" B-sha seemed confused by the question. Or perhaps she didn't even know what she was being asked to begin with, slowly, Neptune turned herself, as she reached over, putting her hands on B-sha's shoulders, looking up with pleading, desperate eyes, as she asked once more,
"Who is Neptune, who is the Nep-Nep you know…" Neptune asked, never before needing an answer to a question more than she needed this, and yet…
"Nep-Nep is… kind, just, funny, a true friend. The type of person you go to with life's stupid problems… because she reminds you how silly it is, and you can have a laugh about it. She's… the best person in the whole world to build mecha models with… even if she sometimes messes up the paint job… she might skip her work sometimes, but she is always there for everyone when they need it the most. She… taught me what it truly means to be a hero… I… miss her… I miss her so much…" B-sha started before feeling tears form in her eyes,
"...selfish" Was all Neptune could respond with.
"What?" B-sha didn't get it. Had she said that about her?
"Childish"
"What are you talking about?" B-sha didn't know why she was saying these things, but she sure did know, she didn't like Neptune saying them,
"Egotistical."
"...stop"
"Arrogant." Why was she saying this?
"Stop"
"Self-entitled" Why was she? Why was she… why would she… why… why…
"I said stop"
"Selfish…" B-sha couldn't take it anymore. The sad resentment laced in her tone. The bitter hatred. The melancholic sadness. B-sha hated it all.
"I SAID STOP!" B-sha yelled as she physically stopped the words that tried to leave Neptune's mouth, before feeling her arms crumble to her sides, "What… are you talking about…"
"That's the Neptune I know. That's the Neptune she knew…" Neptune said, as B-sha's eyes widened. The realization hitting her.
Was that it? Was that what she had said? Was it not enough that she didn't love her? Did she have to make her miserable as well? To plant these seeds in her mind, to leave her broken. To let those seeds she sowed grow shallow roots, to grow into a gallow of trees? To destroy the Neptune she knew… the Neptune she…
B-sha would never forgive Noire. For as long as she lived. Noire was irredeemable.
"Nep-Nep. You… don't have to listen to her" B-sha simply said, "She's horrible" She spat out, "She's horrible, don't listen to her"
"But…" Neptune tried to respond, her poor heart felt like it was going to explode, she didn't know how much of this she could handle.
"But nothing… Nep-Nep'' and now… there was silence. Neptune couldn't bear it anymore. "Please… Nep-Nep… talk to me… let me help you… like you helped me…" B-sha begged, and Neptune could only grit her teeth, the shadow covering the tears that formed in her own eyes. She wanted to… she wanted to talk to her… but her heart. It hurt so bad. It hurt… it hurt… it hurt…
She wanted the hurt to stop. She wanted to wake up from this nightmare.
"B-sha… It hurts…" She sobbed, as B-sha felt her heart split in two, quickly doing the only thing she could think of, B-sha quickly flung her arms around her, as she pulled her tight,
"I know… I know how much it can hurt… but… we're here… I'm here, Nep-Nep" B-sha softly reassured her, as Neptune clutched to her, as her heart grew more and more swollen, "Nep-Nep, talk to me"
"I don't wanna… I don't wanna…" She sobbed.
"Nep-Nep. You don't have to listen to what she said. And you don't have to listen to your hurt heart. I know… I know what it's like to have a voice in you that keeps telling you everything you already hate to hear. But Nep-Nep… you don't have to listen to it!" B-sha gently rubbed her back as she soothed her,
"But… I… loved her" Neptune spoke between her sobs, as B-sha felt something rile up in her.
Neptune loved her. Neptune loved her… and what did she get? Noire… she…
"Well she never loved you!" B-sha didn't know why she felt so angry. Something in her felt so vilely appalled as she thought about all Neptune did, and all that got her. Love? Noire never deserved to be able to say that word. Not like… not like
But as B-sha spat out the words, she quickly felt Neptune push her off of her as Neptune stood up gripping at her heart,
"No! No! No… nonono… She… did… it was me…" Neptune cried as she violently shook her head,
"Nep-Nep. She never loved you!" B-sha yelled back, as Neptune gripped her head, shaking it faster and faster,
"No!"
"NEVER!"
"NO!"
"She only loved the idea of you! She never loved the real Nep-Nep!" B-sha screamed at the top of her lungs. Not caring if anyone overheard their conversation.
"SHUT UP! SHUT UP!" Neptune responded in kind, her screams echoing in the room. As they reverberated, B-sha could feel herself starting to sob as well. How much must it hurt? How much pain must Neptune be in? To have to realize the person you spent so long loving, so long chasing after, the person you finally opened yourself up to… never truly loved you. The fearless Neptune? Reduced to sobbing? B-sha hated this. She hated every second of this. Neptune deserved better, she deserved someone who would understand her.
"Nep-Nep… I know it hurts but you can't keep lying to yourself! Noire… she never loved you" B-sha said and finally, it clicked in Neptune's mind, as desperate tears flooded her face. Turning her back to her friend, she crawled to the corner of the room as she finally started to realize just what had been happening the last months of her life. All that time… it was a lie. How much time she had wasted…?
"Nep-Nep…" B-sha didn't know how much more of this she could take. Gently reaching out her hand, it stopped in place when she heard Neptune speak next,
"Stop…" She started, "get out…"
"Nep-Nep I don-"
"Get out… just… get out… don't waste any more of your time on me…" Neptune painfully responded as she huddled up against the wall. Defiantly, B-sha crawled up next to her, even as Neptune not so subtly nudged away from her, B-sha held her position. Just far enough away to give her space, but close enough to let her know; she was there, and she would always be there for her.
"I thought I told you, I'm not leaving until I see you smile" She somehow managed to smile as she wrapped her hand around her friend's shoulders,
And for the time… the words just hung in the air. Hours surely must have passed, and B-sha wasn't even sure it was the same day anymore, but still, she held her position. And as the exhaustion of her day and the hour started to nip at her, even then did she fold fast.
And… slowly… ever so barely noticeably. Neptune's breathing slowed down from its ragged shallow breaths. Her tears slowly dried up, evaporating into the air. Her tense body slowly relaxed as she slowly felt the comfort of the woman next to her sink in.
After a time longer than both women could possibly remember, Neptune turned to face her, a desperate sadness still written on her face, despite how far she had come in the last hours, she still needed one last push…
"B-sha…" She asked, looking over, her lip quivering,
"What is it, Nep-Nep?" B-sha gently responded, but it didn't seem like Neptune wanted to continue, squeezing her shoulder for a moment, Neptune eventually forced out the question,
"Why didn't she love me? What should I have done better?" She asked as B-sha bit her lip, it hurt seeing Neptune like this. She couldn't handle this anymore. Neptune would never feel like this again… as long as B-sha had a say about it. As long as B-sha was around… she would be smiling… always… B-sha would give her a reason to smile.
"Nep-Nep… she never would have loved you. She never loved you. She only loved the idea of you… this idealized version of you, this idea she had about you. She didn't love… the real Nep-Nep" B-sha sadly explained, as Neptune teared up once more, leaning her head over, one more question on her mind,
"B-sha? Am I loveable? Can anyone love me?" Neptune asked, unsure of the answer herself, as B-sha looked over, the answer never more obvious in her head,
"Of course you are Nep-Nep!" She boisterously declared, as if she couldn't believe she was being asked that question. By Neptune, that Neptune? The gorgeous CPU Purple Heart? The always there, funny, cute, and relatable Neptune? She was asking this? To her. Everything about this was wrong. Everything. This needed to be fixed.
"...I don't believe it" Neptune pulled away, as she once more turned her back on the blonde who could feel her own face droop. This wasn't right… this wasn't right… how? How could she fix this? How could she soothe the pain in her own heart?
"T-then I'll show you; you can be! I'll love you like she never did! I- I'll love the real Nep-Nep! The kind, funny, sometimes messy, always chaotic, video game playing cutie!" She spoke up before her mind could even catch up, gasping as she covered her own mouth, "W-wait… I…" She didn't even know what to say. How could she say something like that? Why did she say something like that? Did she… did she really think she could love a goddess?
She had been called greedy her whole life… she grew up with nothing. In a no-name orphanage with no family. No dream. Nothing. But… Purple Heart… she showed her a dream. Protecting all the children. So none of them had to go through what she had. So what if she liked money? She never had any before… sure she was greedy…
But this was just silly. How could she say that? How could she think that she should get to say that? How did she think now of all times was the right time to say that!? Scared, B-sha didn't know what to do as she heard the woman to whom her declaration was aimed at gasp, turning to face her again. Her eyes widening. As she took in everything.
Noticing the world around them, Neptune looked out her bedroom window, the pitch black sky giving a view of the stars. Only then did it occur to her how long they had been there, looking at the clock as it read… 2:19. Looking back to her friend, her bright blue eyes, the bags that sagged beneath them. The red hue that outlined the sclera, her puffy eyes evidence of the tears she herself had shed.
"B-sha…" She looked back, mystified.
"I- I'm sorry!" B-sha feverishly apologized, already knowing what the response she was going to receive was, yet… "Huh?" She felt arms wrap around her, desperately, they clutched to the back of her dress, "Nep… Nep?" She asked, not even sure what to do,
"Please… please show me…" Neptune whispered, as B-sha felt it all click into place.
Noire… never loved her, so B-sha would do it herself. She had her chance, now B-sha would do what she had so thoroughly failed to do… she… could afford to be greedy. This time. It was ok.
"Of course… I'll show the whole world the real Nep-Nep! I'll show them all how much you can be loved! The whole world will know!" B-sha smiled a toothy grin as she enthusiastically declared, gripping the girl to her, before putting her hands on her shoulders, "The whole world will know of Presto Mask and her lovely Goddess!" she cheekily smiled as she yelled, almost as if so the whole world could hear,
And… just then,
"I'd… love that"
A gasp,
"You… smiled! You really smiled!" B-sha felt tears form in her eyes once more, but, this time, it felt good, it felt so good, "Nep-Nep!" She flung herself into Neptune, cuddling into her, as Neptune nervously wrapped her arms around her, "You actually… you actually…" B-sha smiled, as she finally felt the exhaustion eat at her system, gently, she drifted to sleep as Neptune gently ran her hands through her hair, a soft smile on her own face, soft tears falling down her face,
"I love you too…"
Finally, the world seemed to have color again, and it was a lovely golden hue.
Hehehe there it is! I know many people probably won't like what I'm doing here, but I do not care! B-shaNep is adorable, and I will push as much propaganda as I want! Even if my own sister told me I was "peddling trash" I will hold fast!
Anyway, there are a few reviews to get to I see,
end5- thank you as always, and I hope you enjoyed this one as well!
Tony Anderson- Yea... poor Pea... She just wanted Neptuna to be happy again... luckily, she was able to spring B-sha into action, and now Nep can smile again!
amixan0402- I hope that is a good interesting! And I sure hope you enjoy what I have cooking! As for that next part... just you wait I have something planned for Noire, and Uni. So, stay tuned!