Thanks for your patience! Here's the next chapter. :)

...

Sam was stunned into silence by Spencer's announcement that he wanted her to move in with him. The idea of moving into the house that had practically been her home for all of her adolescence anyway? That wasn't such a bad idea ... for her. But imagining the thousand ways she could destroy Spencer's life? It seemed like she was an unlucky charm to anyone who spent too much time with her lately. Sam was the center of the destructive force destroying her social universe. She was the problem. She was ruining everything. And she did not want to destroy Spencer's life. He didn't deserve that.

For an example of some of the lives she had ruined in the past, she had a list longer than her arm. To start, her mother was a prime example. She had been expecting a baby and had a name all picked out - Melanie Rose. From skipping several prenatal appointments, it was quite far along in her pregnancy when Pam Puckett had learned that she was carrying twins. It wasn't like she was prepared to be a mother in the first place, and having a second baby sprung on her had, historically, been used by her mom to justify a great deal of petty crime that she engaged with to "support" her family. Sam had always known that the unexpected twin had been her. It was 100% Melanie who would have shown up first, on time and as reliable and perfect as always. While Melanie Rose had been named for her grandmother, Margaret Rose, Sam's name story was "I don't know, kid. Samantha was the name of a hairdresser who gave me a good cut the week before I birthed ya." Sam was still unsure if she even had a middle name. Not like she deserved one, as it was clear that she had bombed her mom's life to bits.

Melanie? Yeah, she had sort of destroyed that relationship too.

Especially over the last year, she had conveniently "forgotten" to respond to most of her sister's texts. There had been that time she called Melanie in to help her trick Cat in a twin-based prank, but then they had ended up arguing before Melanie flew back to her fancy school. Melanie had asked Sam if she was really certain that tricking Cat - who had been confused when a carrot disappeared under Dice's hat on the counter and was then delighted when it "reappeared" when he picked it back up - had fully required her leaving school before doing important testing that would determine scholarship results. Couldn't she have just pretended on her own? It wasn't like Cat was the brightest bulb in the pack. Sam had shot back that all Melanie ever cared about was her grades, and Melanie had returned that Sam cared only for her stomach. They parted in bad moods that festered. Melanie struggled with one of the tests thanks to the lack of study, and she made sure to make Sam aware of that fact. Sam had been stricken with unusual guilt, and that made her more defensive than ever. There was no way Melanie would have even noticed that Sam was in juvie, because the silent treatment had been in effect for a few months by this point. Another relationship ruined? Check.

Freddie was yet another example. Their whole relationship had always been a hot mess, and mixing in a dash of romance at times hadn't helped. The last time she saw him in Seattle, he had been devastated over Carly leaving. She had decided against telling him that she was leaving too. After all, she had no clue where she was headed apart from "south to a warmer area where being homeless won't kill me with frostbite", and she knew he would argue against her. He would have been right - his logic was usually good, despite it grating against her own preferences. Still, she preferred to leave him to worry than to give him a chance to talk sense into her. Thankfully, she had ended up running into Cat that first day in Los Angeles. Who knew where she would have ended up without that crazy, dependent redhead? Probably in prison.

Or prison faster than I did, Sam thought wryly. There had been other close calls. Some of those had been her fault, some had been her trying to protect Cat, but it had been an eventuality that she would end up behind bars.

She had seen Freddie again within the last couple months. He had driven down to see her, desperate to make contact. When he had thought Sam was hurt (due to a conniving and little less-than-truthful Miss Caterina Valentine), he had rushed there immediately to help her. He had gotten hurt during the trip (loosely connected to her own actions ... again) and she had rescued him and then flirted a little to make him feel better, but once he left she let the contact die off again. Why remember him if he wasn't around? It was easier to degrade the specialness of their past by ignoring him than to put aside her pride and call him when she started missing the home that had been created for her through iCarly.

Even Carly in Italy ... well, that was a little easier. Sam argued that if she chose to live that far away, she couldn't argue when Sam wasn't available all the time. Some of it was a little bit of spite that she had been left for a father. Sam's own father hadn't cared enough to ever show up. She had no idea of his name. While Melanie had been the perfect child for a single parent - quiet, undemanding, academic, high-achieving, sweet, and the model child succeeding against all odds of abandonment and a petty criminal mother - Sam had suffered for the lack of parental (and specifically paternal) attention. It didn't seem fair that Carly's dad had come back and swooped her away right before senior year. Carly's Every uncomfortable prickle of jealousy made her feel worse - not just for wanting her friend back, but for wanting her friend back when she was better without her. The guilt did not make it easier to deal with the complicated web of emotions and triggers and deep longing that were all wound up in the tight space that functioned as Sam's heart.

There were probably others as well, Sam readily acknowledged. Probably many others.

But apparently she hadn't ruined Spencer's life yet, and that wasn't something she wanted.

"No."

"No?" Spencer asked in surprise.

"No," Sam said flatly.

Spencer shifted his jaw a little. "Okay, Sam, I'm not sure if I'm being clear here, but you are coming ..."

"No, I'm not!" Sam interrupted, but Spencer plowed forward as if he had never even heard the objection.

"... because this isn't up to you. Never has been, and won't be. This is already settled. I'm sorry if you don't like it, but this is how things are. I'm not leaving you behind. I'm not letting you slip through the cracks again. If you have another idea for where you can stay, we can discuss it - later. For now, I think the guard is going to get you to pack. You're leaving."

Sam's jaw shifted too. It was supposed to be a move of stubbornness, but about halfway through her lower lip began to tremble a little from the feeling of finally being seen and judged as worthy of rescue.

"Fine. You win," she grunted.

For now. But she wasn't going to let herself destroy him.