Disclaimer: The show Victorious, its characters and other associated copyrights are property of someone else and not me.

No Trivia – The continuation

Chapter 4 – The wheel of desire and regret.

No one's POV

Mrs. Vega looked at the nurse for a moment, then walked over to the bed and gently began to shake Tori.

"Tori, you need to wake up."

After a moment, Tori began to stir and opened her eyes. Upon seeing her mother, Tori quickly scowled.

"Mom!"

"Tori you're supposed to be resting in your room. And why is Jade here?"

Tori looked to Jade, who was starting to wake herself, then turned to her mother. "Why did you wake me? For your information, Jade suffered a miscarriage last night. As for why I'm here, Jade needed me." Tori appeared to grow angry. Did you really threaten Jade with a restraining order?

Before Holly Vega could answer, the nurse stepped in. "Miss Vega, please calm down. You're not supposed to get excited. I'm sorry, but you're going to go back to your room. It's time for breakfast and immediately after, you're scheduled for a CT scan of your head."

Tori briefly shot her mother an angry glare, then reluctantly got out of bed.

The nurse moved towards the door, "I'll get a wheelchair, I'll be back in a second.'

As soon as the nurse left the room, Tori began to look angry again. "Mom how could…."

She was stopped by Jade who put a hand on her shoulder. "Tori! Now's not the time. Just get in the wheelchair and do what you're supposed to do. These nurses can be pretty nasty, if you piss em off."

Tori turned to face Jade and took her hand, looking quite worried. "Are you sure, I need to make sure you're ok, you won't hurt yourself."

Jade nodded and attempted a weak looking smirk. "I'll be fine."

By now the nurse had returned with the wheelchair. "Come on Miss Vega. We need to take you to your room. "

Tori hesitated for a moment, but got in the chair once Jade nodded. She turned to Jade and for an instant took her hand. "I love you." Tori said with noticeable look of worry. "Are you sure you're going to be ok."

Jade smiled reassuringly. "I'll be fine. Love you Vega. Now go."

Without a single word, the nurse, followed by Tori's mother, wheeled Tori out of the room.

Once alone, Jade found herself thinking about that day in the broom closet. The day they first kissed. "I wasn't expecting that kiss. I was too busy accusing Tori of having designs on Beck. I was so blinded by jealousy that not only did I not realize that she had designs on me, that I wanted her."

"No one must know about this!" Jade said out loud. "That's what I said that day. That singular phrase would ultimately lead us to near ruin. Road to Ruin is great album by The Ramones, but one I'd rather not be on anymore." She finally mused. "I just want to be with Tori."

Meanwhile, Tori was in the process of being wheeled upstairs by the nurse, with her mother in tow. Nothing was said along the way. Tori's mom, who would have liked to discuss it with Tori, noticed her daughter appeared to be deep in thought. She thought it best to leave the subject alone for the moment.

Once they arrived in the room, Tori noticed her breakfast was sitting on one of those rollaway overbed tables.

"Miss Vega." Said the nurse as he parked the wheelchair next to the bed. "As soon as I get you in bed, you should eat your breakfast and they'll come and get you for your CT scan in about half an hour. Is there anything you need in the meantime?"

"No."

After getting back into bed, the nurse rolled the overbed table in front of her and left. As soon as the door closed, Tori's face grew dark.

"I can't believe you did that to Jade! She wanted to see me and you threaten her with a restraining order."

Mrs. Vega walked over to the bed, but didn't say anything right away. After a moment of quietly starring at Tori she took a deep breath. "You wait one second Tori Vega. We did what was right for you. She's hurt you again and again."

Tori opened her mouth to speak but stopped once she realized a headache starting. She then considered the nurses warning to not get excited. After thinking for another minute and taking a deep breath she spoke.

"Look. I'm not supposed to get angry or excited. I understand what you did is what you thought was right. But it's my decision. Jade lost her baby last night. She was devastated, by not only that, but by the prospect of never seeing me again. When I learned she was there, I had to see her. I'm not going into it, but I'm glad I did. That's all I say. But she wants to be with me. Not for a, hour or a day, but forever and That's all I want, that's all I've ever wanted. Now, I need to eat my breakfast, before they take me in for my CT scan."

Tori then sighed and looked down at the tray of food, which consisted of a scrambled egg, bacon, orange juice, wheat toast and milk.

"I know you mean well. But I need to eat and I'd like to be alone for a bit. I have a lot to think about."

Holly Vega, nodded, looking slightly frustrated "Ok. I'll be back later. Your father will visit after lunch. Let me know if you need anything."

Holly Vega tried to smile, kissed her daughter on the forehead and quietly left the room.

Tori returned her attention to the tray and despite the fact that the breakfast didn't look all that appealing, she was rather hungry.

As she started to eat, she turned the tv on, but quickly shut it off. She realized she needed the peace and quiet to think.

Tori's POV

That conversation with Andre and I had back in my apartment, quickly came to mind.

"You mean my heart's been torn apart and thrown under a bus by someone else"

Of course, that someone else I had been referring to, when talking to Andre was Jade. Right after that, I followed that up with.

"You must think I'm a total idiot, still wanting to be with her, after everything."

I'll always remember his matter-of-fact answer. Like he was rattling off a fact so simple, a child would know it. But I was no child.

"Yeah"

A sickening feeling started to grow in my stomach. "I can only imagine, what you're going to think now, Andre"

I briefly pondered calling him. I would have to do it eventually, but for now quickly pushed that thought aside. Instead, I thought about the topsy turvy relationship Jade and I had over the years. I was still thinking about it, when the nurse came back in about a half hour later. This time she was pushing a wheel chair.

"Tori Have you finished your breakfast?"

"Yes."

"Time for your CT scan."

Within moments, I was being pushed along the hallway towards radiology. The scan itself, didn't take long, with and I was back in the room, less than an hour later. Alone in my room again, my thoughts drifted from Jade to Beck.

He struck me, but I can't help but to feel guilty. Beck was a good friend and how did I repay him, by sleeping with his girlfriend, then wife. The result is a divorce.

"Anyway, you cut it, I betrayed him" I concluded. He struck me, that is without question. And it's no question that what he did was wrong. But what I did was no less wrong than what he did. Mine was a blow, struck in a different way. But my blow not a result of a burst of anger, it was more calculated. In some ways, that's even worse.

The more I thought about it, the guiltier I felt and the guiltier I felt, the more I thought about it. It was a vicious little wheel of desire and regret. One that's been spinning round and round since high school. But that's Jade and I's whole relationship. Sure, I could ride off into the sunset with Jade. And I'm planning on doing just that. But what about Beck? That guilt and Beck's hurt feelings would remain a shadow any relationship that Jade and I would try to build. Would that wheel just keep spinning?

He's being penalized for his blow, but shouldn't I be for mine. At least in some way.

I took another moment to look out the window, it looked like it was going to rain.

"Why?"

That one question, that single word that he asked in the apartment that when he confronted Me. On all the guilt, that single word came down on top like the proverbial cherry. A word full of hurt rage and confusion.

That was my blow. One of them at least. Of course, my answer was just devastating.

"For the same reason you dated her, the same reason you proposed and married her…..I love her"

The result was a broken heart and a whole lot of broken dishes. Dishes can be replaced, a heart cannot.

He questioned why, and rightly so; I would ever love someone who treated me like Jade had. I was a plaything a toy to be picked up, played with, kicked or abandoned purely at her whim.

But she kept coming back to that toy. Unable to resist the urge to play with it again, unable to part with it.

But I'm no longer a toy, I'm her butterfly. I can only imagine the pain she was in, before I came into her room this morning. Her feeling so alone, so broken that she intended to kill herself. All because she had lost me. But I came in and rescued her heart, claimed it for my own.

But once again the wheel turns and I'm brought back to Beck. If he had not told me that Jade was in the hospital, she would have killed herself. I have no doubts about that. In doing so, he saved Jade and he probably saved me. Had Jade killed herself, I would have been completely devastated.

He didn't have to tell me. But he did. After all the shit, I put him through. Even though he has been arrested for striking me, he still did that.

He more than told me Jade's location. In sending that message, he was also giving her up. I can only guess, that he loved her so much, that he would rather see her happy with someone else, than unhappy with her. But what do I know what's going on through his head?

He gave her up, but what do I give up. The scales must be balanced. Some atonement must be made. More than a simple apology or some trivial gift. The wheel of desire and regret must be stopped, perhaps even broken. It's the only way Jade and I can stop hurting each other and begin loving each other.

It came to me. I had to give him up as well. I knew what I had to do. I knew that this might upset certain people, but I had to do it.

I reached to the table next to my bed and picked up the phone. After a few minutes of searching, I found the correct number. I dialed and after two rings a cheerful voice answered.

"Los Angeles City, District Attorney's office."

I explained who I was, what the situation was and if I could talk to someone about the case. I couldn't help but feel nervous. I was put on hold and after a minute or two, I heard the voice of a young man come on the line.

"Is this Miss Vega?"

"Yes"I said.

"I'm Jack Merz, one of the assistant D.A.'s here. I've only briefly gone over your case. I take it, you want to discuss the charges against Beck Oliver."

"Yes. I've given this some thought. He struck me, I was hurt, that is without question. But the whole situation is a bit complicated. I want to prevent it from being more complicated. He will have to be punished. That being said, feel free to make any sort of plea deal you would like. Probation, anger management courses, community service, a slap on the wrist. What ever you deem appropriate. I won't object."

He hesitated for a moment than spoke. "I understand Miss Vega. It sounds like, while you don't want to fully drop charges, you simply want this to go away, quietly. No trial. I know your father's a police officer, have you consulted with him?"

"No, It's my decision."

I know my parents and sister will be pissed. But I have to do this. Not just for me, not just for Jade, but for the both of us. If I have to take some heat than, so be it.

"OK then. I get the ball rolling. We already have your contact information. We'll be in touch Miss Vega. Let us know if you have any other questions or concerns. Have a good day."

I said thank you and hung up.

A bit of a controversial decision on Tori's part. While she did not drop charges completely, she saw to it, Beck would not do any real jail time. She did so, to help make up for what she did. It is what she felt was right.