Hey everyone! Happy Friday and here's a chapter to celebrate. Adult themes but not lemony, sorry! I hope you enjoy this.
Let me know what you all think and thank you to all that are faithfully following. Hope you all have a great weekend. I may update again this weekend, but i'm not sure. have 2 tests to complete for school.
Remus found himself in a rhythm after a while. Adelaide would leave potions and salves for him on his shelf in the office at work and he would thank her at tea in the morning. The friendship was nice, comfortable. As the weeks passed, he was eventually switched to a day shift, which made it harder to visit Sirius and Lily, but it meant he saw more of Adelaide, and he couldn't decide if this was a good thing or not. He could feel the draw of her and it made him nervous. They began going to lunch instead of tea, it worried him because it felt date like. He felt that she saw it as dates, but he continued anyway, just wanting to be in her company. They were on their way to get lunch one day and the conversation took a turn of sorts.
"What do you do outside of work?" She asked, looking over at him as they walked. "I know you read, we talk about the books you read, but what do you like to do other than that? Surely there is more in your life than just books." She looked up at him as they paused at a light. He considered the answer.
"I like going to the ocean. My… nephew likes to look for shells. He found a starfish the other day, actually." She looked at him like he was crazy.
"It's freezing out! You go to the ocean in March?" She laughed and threw her head back a little and he found himself looking at her pale neck. He blinked, his mood darkening slightly as he remembered his hand around that very same neck. He shook his head and smiled at her.
"You never mentioned siblings before. How many do you have?" She asked as she slipped her arm through his as they walked across the street toward a muggle pub that had the best fish and chips. She didn't remove her arm and he didn't pull away. He could smell her perfume and it was nice.
"Well, my nephew lives somewhere a lot warmer than here. And he isn't really my nephew. I actually don't have siblings, per se. But he calls me uncle. His father was one of my best mates. He passed away a few years ago." He watched as her face fell. The uncle thing was recent. Harry had just suddenly started to refer to him as Uncle Remus, the thought of it made him smile sadly as he thought of how James had introduced Harry to him, Sirius and Peter as their nephew. Two of their number was gone forever.
"I'm really very sorry about that, Remus. I truly am. Was it–was it during the war?" Remus simply nodded, not wanting to talk about it anymore, suddenly. "What else does he like, other than the ocean? How old is he?" She continued, seeing the look in his eyes and changing the subject.
"He's going to be five this summer. He is terribly smart and still runs everywhere. Went from crawling to running and hasn't stopped since. He likes books and quidditch. He likes to be read to, still. He has me reading him a muggle book called "Lord of the Rings". He likes the imagery." They walked into the pub and took their now usual seats. "So I guess reading really is all I do." He smiled across at her and she smiled back. "What do you do on your off days?"
"I research. You know this already. My research right now has to do with…certain conditions." She looked at him pointedly and he looked down as the server brought them what they ordered every day: fish and chips. She looked happy to see them, the regulars. She never mentioned their strange clothing and always had a smile on her face.
"Enjoy." She she said as she placed the food down on the table and walked away again and Remus didn't look up for a moment. They tended to avoid talking about this, probably why she never brought up her research in the first place. To not make him uncomfortable.
"I'm also trying to lobby to get the current treatment available to everyone without having to report the condition to the ministry. It's abhorrent that they require it in the first place. It is as if they don't really want to help people." She reached across the table and touched his arm. He looked up, and she decided a change of subject was in order again, so she pulled her hand back. "What is Lord of the Rings about?" She grabbed a chip and started eating. He followed suit and their lunch continued as if the subject had never been brought up as he explained all about the book he was reading to Harry.
They pay and leave and Adelaide slips her hand through the crook of his arm again, and he allows it, he doesn't shy away from it even though he knew that he should. It wasn't until they were almost back to the empty store front of Purge and Dowse, Ltd. when she stopped and turned to him. He was already done with work for the day, but she still had a few more hours. He was about to say goodbye when she raised herself on tiptoe from the curb and kissed his cheek.
"I will see you in a few days?" She smiled and he just stood there, watching her step through the front window and disappear. He raised his hand to his cheek, a small smile forming on his lips, despite the feeling of his stomach dropping as muggles brushed past him, going about their own lives.
He had a hard time trying to come to terms that someone like her wouldn't be immediately thrown off by someone like him. It was incongruous to how he normally lived his life. He would work somewhere, someone would inevitably figure out what he was and then he would have to move on. It was a novel idea to consider that he might never have to move on. He was able to schedule his shifts around his days off that were required for the full moon. It wasn't a straight Monday through Friday work week. He could easily have weekdays off and work on weekends. He enjoyed it, but his closeness to Addy was going to become a problem. He liked her a lot. And he knew she liked him.
At the moment, things were comfortable, there was no other way to describe it. Surely she could see that there was no future with him. He wouldn't allow one to exist, but another part of him wanted there to be. He wanted a future that was different from the one that he had always thought he was destined for. Alone and unwanted. The question he had for himself was whether or not he wanted to put himself in a position that would inevitably lead to her being seriously injured by him. Even a simple scratch a little too close to the full moon could permanently mar her. And that was something he was not willing to do. He would have to say something about it and he dreaded it so he put it off, hoping that he wouldn't have to have that conversation.
It was for that reason that two days before the full moon he was actively distancing himself, more so than he usually did. They had gone to Hampstead Heath and were walking the paths after work. He wasn't speaking much, his joints already sore due to his impending change and the weather, and she simply walked with him. She slipped her hand into his and he looked at their joined hands for a moment, stopping in the middle of the path. There were very few others out and about that day as it was drizzling off and on and a fog laid over the city in a blanket that muffled all sound. He cringed inwardly, but set his jaw.
"Adelaide–" he began, shifting his eyes from their hands to her face. She wore a small smile and continued to walk, tugging lightly on their joined hands. She led them to a bench and sat down. Waiting for him to continue. He sat next to her, rubbing his hands together, his elbows on his knees, not looking at her. He had no idea what to say next. She placed a hand on his hands, stilling their movement, and he looked up. Her face was so close, he could count the freckles on her nose. He was holding his breath. He started to pull away when she leaned in and pressed her lips to his. Her eyes had closed and she leaned in further to press her lips more firmly to his. He found himself leaning in as well, kissing her back. He pulled back abruptly.
"Adelaide–" He started again.
"It's alright." There was a soft smile on the lips he had just kissed, her eyes glittering in the gloom. She sat back on the bench, her hand still holding his. She watched as another couple walked by under an umbrella. It was starting to rain in earnest. "We should probably get going before we get drenched." She looked around, there was no one around. Everyone had already retreated inside and it was starting to rain even harder. Remus stood and forced a smile on his face.
"I'll see you in a few days, after…." He pulled his hand from hers and stepped back, vanishing with a pop, leaving her alone in the rain. She wasn't bothered. The rain wouldn't dampen the way her heart soared the moment her lips had touched his. She let the rain soak her before she too vanished to her flat, a broad smile on her face, her fingers touching her lips. She felt giddy. She lit a fire in the grate and changed into pajamas, sitting in front of the fire reading the book she had procured from the muggle book store down the street, "Lord of the Rings".
Her giddy mood proceeded to follow her into the next day, the full moon was that night. Remus would not be coming in today or the next day. She continued to work, making her way through the third floor patients, potion and plant poisoning. She went home with a feeling of unease. She slept less on the full moons, hoping Remus would be ok. Worried what condition she might find him in when he came to work. Maybe she would stop by in the morning. Just to check on him. Later in the morning of course, just to be safe. She turned over and fell asleep, a plan in mind.
She woke early the next morning, staring up at the ceiling, trying to remember the dream she had just had. Unable to, she got out of bed and got dressed. It was still really early and she paced the floor for a while, glancing at the clock until the sun rose and then waiting a little longer yet. It was almost 9 o'clock in the morning before she made her way to the house on the quiet street in Hampstead Garden, carrying her medical bag in one hand and her cloak in the other. The early April morning was warmer than the past few and she walked down the street to the house.
There was a family leaving for the day a few houses away from her destination. She smiled at them as they looked at her with curiosity. Newcomers were not something they saw often, and the little girl watched her progress as she stepped up to the front door and opened it, closing it quietly behind her. The house was silent. Addy figured he was still downstairs and as she made her way down the steps, she heard a shuffle and paused briefly, ducking her head to check. Remus lay curled on the same cot she had seen the first time, the blanket covering him from the waist down. She walked forward. She had expected him to be in control of himself as the sun was shining and the birds were singing. What she hadn't expected was for him to jerk awake at the gentle touch of her hand to his shoulder.
In the blink of an eye, she was against the stone wall of the basement, Remus breathing heavily above her. She was dazed for a moment, her ears ringing from the contact her head had made with the stone. Confused with what had just happened, her bag on the floor a few feet away, Remus's body pressed up against hers very intimately. She blinked and looked up into his face and she started a little, confused by the expression on his face. It didn't make sense, it was daylight. The hands that trapped her against the wall dug into the stone behind her, creating long scratches in the façade.
His eyes bored into hers and she didn't see even an inkling of the man she knew there. She turned her head again, trying to submit, trying to hide her confusion, mad at herself for the mistake she had made. Something was not right. Her chest heaved as she felt his breath on her neck, her heart racing. She shivered at the sensation. She should have been scared, she should have been trying to get away, but she stayed still, head turned away from him. Waiting.
Remus had awoken to a soft hand on his bare shoulder. His eyes flew open, nostrils flaring. He didn't consciously do it, but the next second he had Addy pinned against the wall, breathing heavily as she tried to calm herself. She was shocked and in the back of his own mind, he was too, but he was also angry. Angry that she was here at all. He could see the light in the basement, knew it was daytime, but it was deep in his mind that he made these notes. The only thing he could think of was the smell of the woman in front of him, the feel of her chest against his as she tried to catch her breath. He could smell her and it was driving him crazy. He let out a low growl, unsure of whether it was meant to be menacing or something else. He could feel every curve of her body against his. He bent forward, running his nose along the length of her neck, hearing her breath hitch as he did so.
He felt a satisfied growl rumble through his chest as he felt her hand stroke his chest. He felt her nails gently scrape down his ribs and he groaned as they continued downward, mesmerized by her touch and the way her chest moved against his. He pressed his hips tighter against her until he suddenly came to himself. The gentle scrape of her nails were too much for his overly sensitive skin, he was too aroused. Her touch was making it worse, making it unbearable and he could smell her arousal as well. She wasn't afraid by this situation, she was actually leaning into it, as if she had some death wish and suddenly he was angry again.
He looked down at her just as she turned to face him, her eyes closed, ecstasy clear on her face and he wanted to wipe it off. At the same time, he just wanted to give in. Kiss her and take her the way she clearly wanted him to, but this feeling just made him more angry. Instead, he wrapped his hand around her wrist in a tight grip, so tight he knew it would bruise, stopping the path of her fingers on his skin that was driving him mad. Her eyes flew open and looked into his. He saw the pain in them and the fear that he had wanted to be there. He let out a menacing growl, twisting her arm slightly.
"Leave!" He thundered and she simply shook her head, reaching to touch his face with her other hand and he caught it. He shoved her toward the stairs, pushing her up one and then another. They are at eye level now and she leaned forward and stole a kiss, her fingers in his hair. He froze, he did not kiss her back this time, instead he growled again and this time her fear is palpable.
"I said to leave!" He said against her lips and she pulled back and he saw the tears before she turned and ran up the stairs away from him, the basement door slamming. He stood there, breathing heavily for a moment before he shouts in a rage, his hands coming down against the wall in frustration, just purely angry.
He sat down heavily on the cot, trying to control his breathing as he came back to himself a little. Angry at himself and at her. He ran his hands through his hair and down his face, hating himself for hurting her and for scaring her, hating that she had broken her promise, hating that he wanted her to come back. He wanted to run his hands all over her, kiss her lips and that beautiful neck, run his fingers through her long blonde hair. He tried to even out his breathing as he pulled his jeans back on and a shirt over his head. He sat there, very still for a moment while his heart rate calmed, ignoring the smell of her on his skin. He was sore and tired and he just wanted to sleep. He slowly made his way up the stairs.
He startled slightly. He didn't expect her to still be there, but she is laying on the couch when he comes upstairs 30 minutes later. She roused herself when he walked into the living room and sat up. She starts to apologize but he holds up his hand, stopping her, his anger flaring again. He was so tired of being angry.
"What are you doing here? Why are you still here? I made it clear for you to leave." he said in a low, dangerous voice.
"I didn't expect- I thought that you would be–"
"No, you didn't think. You never think." He was angry at himself as much as he was at her. "You make rash decisions without thinking. I told you never to come here, and you did anyway. You over step time and again. I've tried to keep my distance, but you just push and push. How do you not realize that I don't want you here!" he raged at her, his voice raising in volume at the end.
"Remus, please, just listen–" She tried again and, again, he interrupted her.
"YOU listen! There isn't going to be anything between us. How can you not see that? You're not an idiot, so why keep pushing it? Why?" She stared at him, her mouth parted slightly, as if not knowing what to say. He could see the hurt building behind her eyes but she was also getting angry too.
"I–I thought that– I like you Remus. How can you not see that? I haven't been subtle about it. And don't pretend you don't feel the same way because I know you do." He closed his eyes for a moment and when he opened them, they were almost blank, tired.
"That, what happened downstairs, is not liking someone. I have no control over it. None! It's just an unrealistic, uncontrollable animal response. A hormonal response. It isn't me!"
"But the other day–" she started again and he interrupted her yet again.
"The other day was a mistake. You caught me by surprise. Now, leave. I'm not asking." His eyes flashed again. He saw the tears in her eyes as she just stared at him. But she straightened and walked to the door, the hair on the back of her neck prickling slightly and she looked back. His eyes didn't look like his. She shuddered a little and left, slamming the door behind her. She saw why the moment she stepped outside. The full moon hung low in the morning sky, just above the horizon. She thought that maybe she would just try again, tomorrow at work. He couldn't mean all those things he said. The wolf was just making things worse, but even as she thought it, a tear slipped down her cheek and she swiped at it angrily. She walked down the street, composing herself before she headed in for work.
Hearing the door slam behind her, he started to panic. His breath coming in quick gasps. He was just so tired and sore. He didn't want to deal with this. He just wanted…. He didn't know what he wanted. He just wanted to get away. He went to the only place he could think of, and later he realized this wasn't the best place either. He simply just didn't think. He stepped into the fireplace and walked into the living room of the house in South Carolina. It was still and silent in the house, still early morning. He felt his muscles tighten as the effects of the moon tried to take over him again. He groaned, limping his way to one of the bedrooms and collapsed into the bed, pulling the covers up to his nose, curling into a tight ball, and he closed his eyes, wishing the whole world would just disappear.
He briefly woke to Sirius, who had grabbed Harry as went to run into the room, shushing him as he said to go tell Lily and then transforming and padding in as a dog. He nudged the door closed behind him and whined at his friend and Remus whined back, mimicking the sound. He reached his hand out to the dog and Sirius pressed his cold wet nose to his palm before he jumped up next to him and curled into a ball behind him, his head on Remus's hip. He could smell a woman on him. Adelaide, he thought it must be and it worried him. He could tell he hadn't showered, the smell of the wolf on him sharp and distinct, still under the effects of the moon. There was no blood on him so he knew he hadn't hurt her, but he could infer that something had happened. The hormones were too strong. Her smell was too strong.
He laid there most of the morning and into the afternoon, joined by Charlie later, and Remus simply just slept. Lily checked in and Sirius got up and left the room, following Lily out of the room, shaking his head at the questioning look on her face.
"I don't know, Lily. He hasn't said anything. I guess we just wait until he is ready to talk." He wrapped his arm around her shoulders and kissed her forehead as they walked out of the room, shutting the door quietly. Miri was grumbling at the door, upset by the smell, hissing at the crack. Sirius leaned down and picked her up and placed her on the cat tree, rubbing her neck to soothe her. He looked back at the closed door, concern creasing his forehead.
"Is Uncle Remus ok?" Harry asked, walking up to him, also a look of concern on his face.
"He is ok. He just doesn't feel well today." He placed his hand on the little boy's head as he felt his little arms wrap around his leg. "We just need to let him sleep, is all."
"Is Charlie going to stay there all day? I wanted to play with him. Will Uncle Remus be able to play later?" he looked up at Sirius. He shook his head.
"Maybe give him a little time, he won't want to play for a while." He answered. "We can go to fly your broom, how does that sound?" Harry smiled big. He loved his broom. And he quickly went to get his shoes on and grab his broom, waiting for Sirius impatiently.
"I'll stay here and wait for him to wake up, Sirius." Lily kissed his cheek, her arm around his waist, the same look of concern on her face. "Go have some fun."