Darkness… eternal and infinite darkness… that was all Catra had known since Horde Prime had thrown her in the water. To be honest, that was her only real memory of her life before becoming trapped in her own head. Every now and again there would be an unexplained flash of light - but then it would go and the darkness would return.
Catra's days (or what she assumed were days) were spent floating around in her personal void of nothingness trying hard to remember. She knew she had been someone before all this – that she had done something. And whatever it was had warranted the punishment of Horde Prime. He was the only person she remembered – the horrible voice that still echoed in her head. She had long since forgotten what his words were though. The only word she could remember (besides her own name) was "Adora."
A word and a feeling – that was all it was. But whatever it was, it always confused Catra. In retrospect, this was the biggest mystery – the key to all of this and the real thing she was trying to remember: Adora.
She had yelled that when she had been thrown in the pool – her last word. And she had no idea what it meant. Was it a name? A slogan? A slur? A combination of all three? Catra truly had no idea.
Anything linked to the word was always blocked by the memory of the pool – the awful green electrical water that burned her inside and out. For a long time she had been convinced it had killed her and that her current life was actually death. But it could not be true – not really. The random flashes and continued echoes of Horde Prime's voice proved that.
She was trapped in her own mind – she had to be. It was all that made sense.
300 days before Prime's defeat
It had been five months since the portal incident. Adora had surrendered without a fight to the princesses that day in the Fright Zone.
At the same time, there had been a mighty battle in the Kingdom of Snows between the remnants of the Horde and the princesses, with the princesses winning as Adora's surrender was announced across all of Etheria.
Since then, the Princess Alliance had worked hard to end the war. Queen Angella had pardoned all the soldiers and Force Captains, only putting Shadow Weaver and Hordak on trial. Both of them had been declared guilty and were now imprisoned for life in the heart of the Fright Zone.
No one had known what to do with Adora. Most of the princesses (and people of Etheria) had wanted her put on trial too. The problem was, however, that Adora had not been fit to stand trial. She had fallen into a deep depression and had said nothing since the day she surrendered. Not only that but Shadow Weaver had unashamedly admitted that she had cast a spell on Adora that had turned her into Despara and that, because of this, they would never see She-Ra again. So Adora remained in the spare room, guarded by Juliet and not saying a word.
Interestingly, Hordak had also said nothing. He did not offer a word of defence during his whole trial and had just let the princesses condemn him; only reacting negatively when Catra was brought up.
Catra was a subject no one wanted to bring up. All the princesses (and most of the people of Etheria) had accepted that she had saved them and that she was the person who had initially defeated Hordak and Shadow Weaver. However, her title of "Force Commander", as well as her association with Despara, did not make her popular.
Anyway, the trials and grand proclamations had been dealt with weeks ago. After that, the princesses had had a new problem: fixing the damage caused by the war. So many Horde battalions had been sceptical of their leader's order to surrender and it had taken the princesses longer than they would have liked to reclaim their kingdoms. However, now that five months had passed, everything was back to normal (or as normal as it could be) and repairs had finally started in all the kingdoms and the Fright Zone.
Scorpia had been given charge of the Fright Zone (as it was technically her kingdom) on the condition that she was supervised by Perfuma (who had happily volunteered for the job). The two had become quite close and no one was quite sure how to process it. Glimmer and Bow had also become close, regularly visiting Adora in the hopes she would remember them.
She did but kept pretending otherwise. It was easier that way.
As Bow and Glimmer left the spare room for what felt like the hundredth time, Glimmer sighed louder than usual. Today, the Princess Alliance would have their first monthly meeting and they only had one item on the agenda: to decide what to do with Adora. Bow put his hand on her shoulder, pulling her in her a hug.
"It's okay. It'll be okay." Glimmer tried and failed to smile:
"Easy for you to say. You don't have to vote." Bow pulled back and looked Glimmer in the eye:
"You and I have seen Adora more than anyone else these last few months. We know that her hair is growing back, that our visits are all she wakes up for, and that she has definitely found a way to fight the spell – no matter how much she pretends she hasn't." Glimmer raised her eyebrow:
"What are you saying?" Bow sighed:
"She's fit to stand trial, Glimmer. She has been for a while now." Glimmer gasped in horror:
"But Bow, you know how that will end!" Bow shook his head:
"No I don't and neither do you. Adora has a real chance at being acquitted – more than anyone else in the Horde." Glimmer looked down at the ground as Bow continued:
"Adora needs a change, Glimmer. I get that it was too soon five months ago but she needs to be given a purpose, to be shown she can be forgiven and that she can move on. After all, we never liked her for being She-Ra. We liked her for being her… and I miss her." With that, Glimmer pulled Bow back in for a hug, nodding into his shoulder:
"I know… me too."
Catra could not quite explain it. One minute she was floating in her void, still aimlessly wondering what "Adora" meant when, all of a sudden, there was a flash of blinding light and a distinct female voice could be heard distantly yelling:
"Catra!" Then, as usual, the darkness returned and Catra was left with more questions. Only this time, she felt she had an answer: Adora was a name – the name of a girl who was important to Catra…
The feline fought to try and remember anything else besides the only knowledge she had been given: a name and… maybe a voice? Had that been Adora's voice?
Catra was so frustrated she wanted to cry, but she could not cry in this world. All she could do was think. Think and listen.
286 days before Prime's defeat
Adora refused to look anyone in the eye as she was led out for her trial. Another couple of weeks had passed and she had still not said a word.
The blonde was sat down on a chair in the centre of the throne room of Brightmoon (she would normally have been forced to kneel but she was so weak that Angella had insisted on a chair). The queen stood up and raised her sceptre, officially starting the trial. And it started.
Each princess stepped forward and presented all the evidence against Adora. All of her crimes and the damage she had caused. However, they also each said something positive about Adora, like how she had been a great asset to the Rebellion before Princess Prom. How she was the main reason the Princess Alliance was reformed and how they all missed her.
The confusing contradictory evidence proved too much for Adora and she ended up startling everyone by suddenly breaking down and crying her eyes out, raising her chained hands to cover up her show of emotion. A couple of guards were about to rush forward but Bow stopped them, running forward himself with Glimmer in tow. Together, they knelt down and gave Adora the best hug they could manage.
For a long time, they stayed like that. And both Bow and Glimmer could swear they heard a broken whisper in their ears:
'I-I'm s-sorry…"
Without any more explanation than the previous time, the flash of blinding light had returned and Catra had seen something. It was brief – barely more than a glimpse – but it was enough.
Adora was a blonde! And an attractive blonde at that. But why had she looked so scared? Catra really had only got the tiniest glance before her world had returned to darkness, but she had been paying so much attention that she had observed blue eyes staring straight into hers, lips quivering in fear and sweat practically dripping from the most comically large forehead she could ever imagine.
There had been a sickly green light behind the girl, kind of like the light behind Horde Prime when he had thrown Catra in the water.
The feline growled noiselessly. Was this a memory? How was she only able to remember this now? Had that really been Adora? What was wrong with her? Something was definitely wrong!
Would she ever know the truth? Could she ever know the truth?
194 days before Prime's defeat
Three months had passed and Adora's health had been improving. Her hair had almost grown back to its normal length and she had started eating and drinking again.
As Bow had predicted, Adora had been acquitted on the condition she remain under the supervision of Bow and Glimmer. She also had to commit to getting better, which meant therapy sessions with Perfuma and medical check-ups with Castaspella. The latter had been convinced she could heal Adora permanently, completely removing the power of the spell. Unfortunately, she had yet to succeed. As Castaspella had explained, there had only ever been one other magic user who could equal Shadow Weaver - and that had been her brother and Glimmer's father: Micah.
Anyway, Adora was now on her way to Mystacor for her weekly check-up and Bow was teasing her about how nice her hair looked now:
"I have to say, I prefer you like this! You look more like you!" Adora gave a small smile. It was forced and all she could manage after everything that had happened, but her friends always got so excited when she did so that she wanted to do it as much as she could.
As expected, Bow gave a giant smile and ran on ahead to find Glimmer, no doubt to let her know that Adora had smiled again.
As soon as he ran off, however, Adora's facial expression changed. Her eyes watered, her lip quivered and it was all she could do to not raise her hand to her cheek where scars had healed, scars that she directly associated with her once short hair, scars given to her by someone who was no longer there… and who would never come back.
Catra could not explain it but her non-existent physical body had suddenly decided to announce its existence – she felt sick.
For the first time in her living memory, the feline felt like she would physically throw up. The blinding lights kept returning and disappearing, new noises and old echoes rattled her brain… and then it all ended.
For what felt like the first time in her life, Catra opened her eyes – properly. And then she actually did throw up.
Adora (the blonde from earlier) was lying on the floor, bleeding out from a stab wound. And Catra was holding the knife.
143 days before Prime's defeat
Adora sighed sadly. Another couple of months had passed and, while significant progress had been made, she was still not fully healed from her curse.
A week before, Entrapta had suggested they investigate some stories she had heard while imprisoned by the Horde - namely the myth of Beast Island. What if it was real? What if it had the cure for Adora and the answer to all of the First Ones' mysteries?
Adora cared less about the science and more about getting rid of the eternal red mist that never left and always threatened to break out and hurt her friends.
Speaking of them, the blonde was now even closer to Bow and Glimmer. With their help, she had made a couple of public appearances where she had officially apologized to the people of Etheria and her former soldiers. It had been an awful but important step in her healing process and she could not have done it without the help of the Best Friend Squad.
Adora had also built up enough courage to share some of her memories with her friends – memories of when she was Despara and had little to no control over what she was doing. Both Bow and Glimmer had been understanding and forgiving, and now both they and Entrapta were accompanying her on a boat heading to Beast Island.
Adora genuinely wondered what she would have done without her friends. Now that Catra was gone, they really were all she had left to live for.
There was so much information to process all at once. In front of Catra lay the blonde she had glimpsed earlier, unconscious and bleeding through her red jacket on the cold white floor. The room she was in was not a mere room but a grand throne room within a gigantic edifice that Catra recognized as Horde Prime's ship.
As if on reflex, Catra turned around, searching for the man responsible for her imprisonment. She could not see him, however. There was no one else on the bridge except her and… Adora. Upon realizing this, Catra looked down.
She was still holding the bloody knife and was dressed in a white outfit that she did not recognize. She saw her tail and unsheathed claws but felt as though they were not hers. It was as though they had not been hers for a long time…
That was when Catra finally became conscious of the physical pain she was feeling. Aside from feeling nauseous, her back felt like it had been repeatedly stabbed. The feline dropped the knife and quickly ran her hands down it, surprised to find not blood but metal. There seemed to be five or six metal ports implanted into her back. And they were all unplugged.
As the feline cautiously checked her surroundings for the connecting wires, she saw the screens behind the throne flashing and her hearing suddenly returned. A siren blared and Horde Prime's voice screamed:
"Horde Prime has been disconnected! Horde Prime has been disconnected! Horde Prime-"
"C-Catra?" The feline turned back to face Adora. Somehow the blonde had managed to wake up and sit up. She was still bleeding and looked worryingly pale - but she was smiling. It was a beautiful smile…
Catra breathed hoarsely:
"H-Hey Adora…"
142 days before Prime's defeat
Saving Micah had been such an incredible experience. Adora had finally felt like she had done something good after all this time. Not only that but she had finally been She-Ra again.
Unsurprisingly, Adora had not been allowed near her sword until a couple of months ago; and even then she had not wanted to touch it. She blamed the sword for killing Catra and it remained a painful reminder of what had happened in the beacon.
However, on her friends' insistence, Adora had brought the sword with her to Beast Island. While there, she had managed to overcome the island's vines and save her friends by reconnecting with her weapon and finally accepting everything that had led her to that moment.
As she leaned against the railing of the boat taking them all back to Brightmoon, Entrapta suddenly tapped her shoulder with her sentient hair:
"Hey! Guess what? I just learned something super important from those data crystals I found! You ever hear about the Heart of Etheria?"
Catra cautiously moved forward, reminding herself how to move her own body as she did so.
As her sense of touch continued to slowly return to her, the feline realized her left eye felt really weird. Almost as if it had been changed… Catra reached up to touch it with her left hand. Before she reached it, however, Adora began to violently shake her head:
"N-No Catra! Don't-" It was too late. Catra had felt the extra eye slits above and below her left eye. She screamed and fell to the ground. Everything made so much sense so quickly.
Horde Prime had not simply turned her into another clone. She had become his new body. She had been altered… she had been Horde Prime…
A hand touched hers – preventing her from breaking down completely. The feline looked up to see Adora looking down at her lovingly. The effort of grabbing her hand had taken more strength than the blonde had, however, and a tear fell from her cheek as she painfully whispered her final words:
"It's… okay… Catra… I… still… love… you…"
112 days before Prime's defeat
Adora screamed furiously. Not only was she furious but she was in extreme physical pain.
It had been a month since Micah had been rescued and Adora had finally been successfully cured of her curse. Entrapta had shared her findings with the other princesses and, after much debate, it had been decided that they should try and free the magic at the Heart of Etheria. They had not known how to do that, however, and had decided to first try activating the Heart of Etheria.
This was how Adora came to find herself keeling over in the throne room in Brightmoon as all the princesses fainted around her. She heard Light Hope's voice echoing in her brain, telling her to give in, raise her sword and destroy her people's enemies.
The blonde gasped in shock and wonder as she saw her world had been teleported out of the dimension of Despondos. Groaning in agony, it was all Adora could do to bring her raised sword crashing down to the ground.
As the sword shattered, so did She-Ra. And when Adora finally woke from her momentary coma, it was clear the rest of Etheria was about to suffer as much as she had.
All the princesses looked on in horror as spaceships flew above the palace and giant robotic antennas landed in the Whispering Woods.
Adora scrambled to her feet and joined her friends on the main balcony. Just as she did so, a holographic image was projected from the spires – a face that made Adora nearly faint again: Catra.
The feline did not look like how anyone remembered her. Her hair was cut short and groomed back. Her left eye had extra eye slits above and below it. Her outfit was white and grey with the Horde symbol emblazoned proudly on her chest.
Honestly, Adora would have been inclined to believe it was not the real Catra, had it not been for her disfigured ear… the same ear Despara had cut all those months ago…
Catra smiled eerily and raised her arms, speaking in a robotic voice that sent chills down the spines of all who heard her:
"Rejoice Etheria, for Prime has come to you!"
"N-No, no, no, no, no!" Catra's pleas turned to screams as Adora's body turned cold in her arms. Her senses were all finally returning and the sensory overload was too much.
Her sensitive ears told her an untold number of clones were trying to break into the room, presumably in response to the alert.
Her body was cramping and aching as it got used to being used by its original owner once again, and all the foreign body parts began to hurt the more Catra acknowledged their existence.
Trying desperately to ignore all of this, and still failing to remember exactly who Adora was or who she herself really was, Catra focused on what she did have some control over. She ripped off the cloak she had apparently been wearing and put it over Adora's bleeding chest, pressing hard on her injury. That was when she found she had the ability to purr.
Catra was not sure how she was able to, and it honestly hurt to continue once she started, but Adora stirred in response to it. This made the feline concentrate hard and, as she focused on purring, one solitary yet key memory resurfaced. It was enough.
The feline pulled Adora as close to her as she could, leaned down so she could whisper in her ear, and said:
"Adora, I love you too. I always have. Please, just this once, stay…"