Thanks to campy, Boris Yeltsin, Sentinel103, Eddy13, Quathis, CajunBear73, Jimmy1201, TexasDad, and Joe Stoppinghem for reviewing and to everyone for reading.
My thanks to campy for his badical proofreading assistance.
As always, leave a review and I'll send you a response.
KP & Co. © Disney
A message from der Strudelworks: Now that I seem to have regained my rhythm, and have figured out how to fit writing this story into my schedule, I plan on posting a new chapter every other Friday. Of course, I make no promises. Life may intervene, though I do not anticipate six years between updates. See you in a fortnight!
I.
Kim smiled as she looked into the office and saw Ron poring over some paperwork; seeing him apply himself made her ferociously happy. She stood quietly, wondering how long it would take for her oblivious boyfriend to realize she was there. Deep affection aside, it was easy for her smile to turn to a smirk when Ron cried out, "Garden gnomes! This is sick and wrong!"
She coughed.
Ron looked up. "Oh, uh, hi, KP," he said, reddening.
"Do I even want to know?" she asked, leaning against the doorframe.
"Not unless you want to pack that beautilicious head of yours full of evil!"
Kim felt her knees turn wobbly at the compliment. She beamed as she entered the office and sat on edge of the disk. "You're weird."
Ron grinned. "Yeah, but you like me."
"And don't you ever forget it," she said as she leaned down to give him a kiss on the cheek. "So, do I even want to know why you're freaking over gnomes?"
"They're evil, KP. One in my garage is bad enough. But we have a whole shipment of them coming in! Middleton doesn't know the darkness that is coming its way!"
Kim cocked an eyebrow. "Overreacting much?"
"Scoff all you want, but those garden gnomes are bad news."
"How about a distraction?" she asked. "It's double twist Tuesday. My treat."
"Best. Girlfriend. Ever!" he said as he got up. "I'm due a break and the Rondo is all about a pretzel with his lady."
"Spankin'," she purred as she slipped her arm through his and they made to leave.
Then the phone rang.
"Uno momento, KP," he said as he picked up the receiver. "Ron here. Uh huh. Uh huh. Did you say THEY'RE HERE? NOW? I'll be right down!" He hung up the receiver. "Sorry, gotta go," he said as he gave her a buss on the cheek.
Kim rolled her eyes. "Please, not the gnomes."
"No! Orcas!" he said as he took off.
II.
Kim watched as Ron ran out of the office as if he were being chased downfield by Eastside High's Suitcase Sanchez. She wanted to help her BF but knew that his killer whale problem was not a save-the-world sitch but a Smarty Mart one. At least, she thought, she could get him a pretzel to enjoy when he returned to his paperwork.
She made her way to the cafeteria, passing by Aisle 77 (ice packs) and Aisle 78 (heat packs). As she turned the corner at Aisle 79 (jet packs) she was startled when a hand shot out and grabbed her by the arm. Acting on reflex, she leaned into the person pulling her, shifted her weight, pivoted, and threw her assailant to the ground.
"Mr. Barkin?" she asked, stunned, as she looked down.
"Possible," he said, a frantic, manic gleam in his eye before he realized what he had done. "Miss Possible. Kim."
"Mr. Barkin, are you okay?" she asked as she extended a hand to help her former teacher to his feet.
"You have to make it stop!" he wailed.
"You are so not making sense," she said. Weirdness like this she could abide in Ron; that was cute. This, however, was so the drama.
"Stoppable. Ron. Mister Stoppable," he spat out. "Cheese and crackers! I can't take it anymore!"
"What? That Ron's your supervisor?" She didn't want to ask the question, but she knew she needed to: "He's not gooning on being Assistant Manager, is he?"
"What? No!" Barkin shot back. "The raw exercise of power, the unfeeling bending of a subordinate to one's will, I could handle. But he's being nice to me! He's encouraging me! He even recommended me for employee of the week!"
"And this is a problem why?" she asked, unable to hide her skepticism.
"Because he … he … he's treating me with respect and … and …" Barkin stammered before he dropped to his knees and began bawling. "Twas brillig, and the slithy toves did gyre and gimble in the wabe! I ruined his life and the center cannot hold!
"Okay, you've stopped making sense … wait, did you just say you ruined Ron's life?"
"I never sent his transcript or recommendation and now it's all going to be downhill from here for him."
Kim bristled. It was bad enough learning from Ron about Barkin's failure to send in his college application paperwork but hearing it from the man himself tweaked her in ways she didn't know were possible. "What are you talking about?"
"How long before you break up with him?"
"Excuse me?" she said, clearly offended. "I am so not breaking up with Ron!"
"That's what you say now. But that's what my girlfriend said to me after high school, even after I had been the football star and helped her save the world. It's the Rules."
"Oh, not The Rules! Where do you guys get this junk?" asked an exasperated Kim. "This is so many flavors of flawed."
"Mark my words—"
"No, you mark mine," Kim said angrily. "I don't know what your sitch is Mr. Barkin, but Ron and I are so aren't you and your ex-girlfriend. You need to deal with whatever ishes you have with your past and stop taking them out on Ron."
Barkin considered the intensity of Kim's words, the fire in her eyes. "You really care about the knucklehead, don't you?" he asked.
Kim's eyes narrowed. "That 'knucklehead' is your boss. And I love him."
Barkin looked at his one-time star student, then nodded. "Yeah, I can see you do. I know he feels the same about you. Don't tell him I ever said it, but what he did at graduation was gutsy."
Kim's expression softened and she smiled warmly. "Yeah, it was."
Barkin looked at his shoes. "I'm sorry."
Kim knelt down by the man's side and gently placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder. "Mr. Barkin, I can't tell you what to do, but let me make a suggestion: don't say sorry to me. Say it to Ron. And even if it's too late to make a difference, please send in his transcript and recommendation. It would mean a lot to him."
"You think so?"
Kim nodded. "I know the two of you don't get along well, but he's always respected you."
"You could sure fool me. Why, that nonconformist space suit at graduation—"
"So not the point," Kim said curtly. "Though Ron always went on about how you had it in for him ever since the Ninth Grade because he supposedly looked at you he funny, he so appreciated the opportunities you gave him."
"Opportunities? Like having a named seat in detention?"
Kim responded with a disappointed shake of the head. "Mr. Barkin, Ron knew what a big deal it was when you put him in charge of the home ec class. And the way you let him prove himself on the football field even after the whole quarterback sitch? That was so the drama."
"He did good in the classroom. And on the field," Barkin agreed.
"And he knows he had those chances because of you."
He sat quietly for a few moments, then came to a decision. "Okay, enough of this sob sister stuff. It's time to man up like a Pixie Scout and make things right."
Kim rose to her feet, then helped Steve Barkin to his. "I'm proud of you, Mr. Barkin."
"Thanks for the conversation," he said.
"No big," she replied before adding sotto voce, "And, don't worry, I won't say anything to anyone about the, um, display of emotion."
III.
When the bell rang, Kim, Ron, and Rufus looked towards the front door, turning from the TV and the rerun of Agony County. Han, heedless of the interruption, happily continued to play.
"Hey, Han, c'mon down," Ron said to his little sister as she toddled on the ceiling. "You know what Mom and Dad said about doing that when strangers are around."
The world-saving super ninja toddler responded by ignoring her big brother.
"C'mon, Hana," Kim cooed as she stretched out her arms. The child laughed gaily before dropping into the safe embrace of her brother's girlfriend.
"Man, you really are the baby whisperer," an impressed Ron said. Kim flashed her BF a smug smile, reveling in the affection of the little girl and taking pride in her babysitting skills.
Ron turned off the television, got up and walked to door. "I don't know about you ladies …"
"Hey!" Rufus protested.
"… and naked mole rat but the Rondo is looking forward to some cheesy pizza goodness!"
He opened the door and was surprised by the identity of the deliveryman.
"Sensei?"
"Good evening, Stoppable-san," the ninja master said as he entered the living room. "And Kim Possible," he added. "And Hana," he added with a grandfatherly smile that elicited a pleased giggle. He then turned to Rufus and bowed. "It is good to see you, Rufus-san."
"Uh-huh," Rufus replied as he returned Sensei's bow.
"Uh, Sensei," Ron asked, "Not that it's not good to see you, but, uh, why are you here?"
"I believe you placed an order for two double cheese pizzas," he answered.
Kim set Hana down on the couch, came over and took the boxes while Ron reached into his pocket and took out his wallet. The old man waved him off. "That will not be necessary. It will be Yamanuchi's honor to pay for this meal."
"Yeah, okay, look, why am I not liking this," Ron said as he rubbed the back of his neck.
"Ron! Rude much?" Kim chided. "Please forgive him, Sensei. He had a tough day at work."
"Hey, don't get me wrong," said Ron defensively. "I'm all about a surprise visit from Sensei."
"But my unannounced appearance is troubling to you," the wizened teacher observed.
"Yeah, well, let's just say that a pattern is emerging here and I kinda, well, don't like it. Though I gotta admit that hot pizza beats gravy ghosts and bathroom specters."
"You are perceptive as usual," Sensei said approvingly. "We indeed must talk."
Kim looked her boyfriend and his teacher, then at her BF's little sister and diminutive friend. "Why don't Rufus and I take Han upstairs so the two of you can have some privacy?"
"That will not be necessary," the old master suggested, moments before the doorbell rang. Ron went to see who was there.
"Yori?"
"Good evening, Stoppable-san," she said. "May I come in?"
"Uh, yeah, of course," he said, wondering what was happening.
"Kim Possible," Yori said with a gracious bow. "It is good to see you."
"You, too," Kim replied as she bowed in turn.
"Yori, perhaps you and Rufus-san would take Hana to play elsewhere in the house. This will allow me to speak with Stoppable-san and Kim Possible." Seeing the surprised look on the their faces, he added. "What I have to say concerns both of you."
"Uh, yeah, why don't we let everyone stay down here," Ron suggested. "We can go up to my room to talk. You okay with that, guys?"
Yori and Rufus bowed while Hana responded with a big smile.
"Okay, enjoy your pizza," Ron said. "But remember: no eating on the ceiling!"
IV.
Kim, Ron, and Sensei sat cross-legged on the floor of Ron's room, an empty pizza box before them.
"I am pleased to see that my unsettling appearance has not affected your appetite, Stoppable-san," Sensei observed.
"Hey, just because you're about to tell us about some prophecy of doom and destruction doesn't mean Ron Stoppable is going to let cheesy goodness go to waste."
Kim smirked. "Glad you still have your priorities straight, Monkey Master."
"Hey, you can't expect me to go fight evil on an empty stomach!"
The ninja master watched with a bemused smile as the two Americans bantered before his mien grew somber. Kim noticed the change in their visitor's countenance.
"So, Sensei, what's the sitch?" she asked, unconsciously reaching for her boyfriend's hand as she posed the question. The old man nodded approvingly, then sighed.
"I am not sure," he confessed. "But I sense a rising darkness."
"Uh, darkness as in it's nighttime and I – uh, I mean Han! – doesn't have a nightlight darkness or darkness as in it's evil threatens the earth darkness?" Ron asked nervously.
"I am sorry, Stoppable-san, but it is a darkness of the latter kind that I detect."
"Okay, yeah, that's what I thought," he said.
"Is there anything else you can tell us?" Kim asked.
"There is not, "Sensei said apologetically. "I wish that I could be more specific."
"Don't worry. It's no big," Kim said calmly, surprising Ron. She looked at her BF. "I'd so rather have a partial warning than no warning."
"Yeah, I guess so, KP," Ron said, not wholly reassured.
"Trust me. It'll be okay," she offered, placing a reassuring hand on his shoulder.
"I am grateful for your understanding," Sensei said.
"Speaking of understanding," Kim said, "maybe you can help us figure out the sitch with something." She then described the encounter Ron had with the monkey ninjas in New York.
"That is most interesting," Sensei observed. "Though the mystical monkey power in Stoppable-san is strong, it would appear that it has limits."
"Man, that tanks," Ron groused.
"Perhaps," Sensei countered. "Perhaps not. The mystical monkey power is a great source of strength but such power has its challenges."
"Yeah, I know, absolute power corrupts absolutely," Ron said.
"Okay, since when have you been reading British political history?" Kim asked, not hiding her surprise.
"Huh?" he responded.
"You just quoted Lord Acton," she explained, impressed.
"You sure, KP? I thought that was something that David Downing's uncle told him in the first Slugman movie."
Kim rolled her eyes.
"Though Kim Possible is indeed correct that those words were spoken by the late English nobleman, they would be just as true if they were spoken by a comic book hero," Sensei said. "With that in mind, allow me to offer you advice: Though the bond between the two of you is very strong, I fear there are forces that would work to separate you. In moments of trial and testing, do not forget your greatest strength."
"What? My mad fu monkey powers?" Ron asked.
"No."
"The power of imagination?"
"No."
Ron looked to Kim and could see she was disappointed. Then he had a realization.
"Oh, oh, my bad!" he said as he slapped his forehead. "We have KP's badical save-the-world moves!"
Kim smiled. "Nice recovery, Romeo," she said. "But I don't think that's what Sensei means."
"No?"
"No, Ron," she said taking both of his hands in hers. "We have each other."
"Indeed, that is so," the ninja master said approvingly. "Do not ever forget that."
To Be Continued …
The Author extends his sincerest apologies to Messrs. Carroll and Yates. He can provide assurances that no jabberwocks or naked mole rats were hurt in the writing of this chapter ...