My thanks to Boris Yeltsin, CajunBear73, Quathis, campy, Sharper the Writer, Sentinel103, Jimmy1201, and Trapper44 for reviewing and to everyone for reading.
Thanks, as always, to campy for proofreading.
KP, RS © Disney
Chapter 14: Mad Dog Days of Summer
I.
Kim, Betty and Will were quietly making their way towards the center of the lair complex when they heard the pitiful, pathetic, pain-filled howling.
Kim gritted her teeth, infuriated by whatever harm was being visited upon Ron. "Gemini is so busted," she hissed as she removed the grille that would allow them to drop into the main room. Having removed the metal cover, she gracefully dropped down to the floor and assumed a fighting stance. Rufus jumped out of her pocket and did likewise. Betty and Will soon followed her.
What they discovered was unexpected, to say the least.
"Stop it!" Gemini demanded as Ron sang a reworked version of "Happy Birthday."
"Global Justice loves you, Global Justice loves you, Global Justice yippy naked dog, Global Justice loves you!"
Pepe was apoplectic; the Chihuahua, which had been keening moments earlier was now furiously barking his little head off.
"What, not freaky enough for you?" Ron asked. "How about this?"
"On the first day of Christmas, Global Justice gave to me …"
Pepe howled.
"You inhuman monster!" an increasingly frantic Gemini bellowed.
"… a naco in a pear tree! On the second day of Christmas, Global Justice gave to me two naked mole rats and a naco on a pear tree."
"Amazing," Betty Director whispered in wonder.
Kim smirked. She knew the Ron Factor had nothing to do with Mystical Monkey Power and everything to do with Ron Stoppable, just being himself.
"On the third day of Christmas, Global Justice gave to me, three henchmen, two naked mole rats and a naco on a pear tree!"
"That makes no sense," Will protested. "Why would Global Justice give anyone villainous lackeys?" Unfortunately, Pepe, with his acute hearing, heard Will, barked, and drew the attention of Gemini, who until that moment had been distracted by his dog's intense suffering, towards the intruders.
Gemini, Pepe, and Ron all looked at the new arrivals.
"Hey, hey, KP!" Ron called out. "You're looking mighty fine!"
"Time and place," Kim snapped before she blushed and added winsomely, "Thanks," her all-business expression replaced by a besmitten smile.
"Betty," Gemini hissed.
"Sheldon," Doctor Director hissed in reply.
"Grrrrrr," Pepe growled at Will.
Will responded by whipping out his GJ-issued spork. The chagrined look on his face suggested that was not what he had been hoping to find in his holster. "Snap," he said, confirming that theory.
Rufus slapped his head. "Hoo boy."
The naked mole rat's reaction was enough to help Kim refocus. "Okay, time to take out the bad guy," she said.
"I think you mean, bad guys," Gemini said as he pressed a button, causing several doors to open and revealing a large number of henchmen, all ready to attack. "Dispose of them!"
"Doctor Director, you and Will take the henchmen," Kim said. "I'll get Ron!"
"We're on it!" Betty said. "Will, you head left. I'll go right."
"Yes, ma'am," he acknowledged. He may not have been happy with the command dynamics of this situation but he was enough of a professional to do his job and do it well. He quickly surveyed the area, identified who he thought was the weakest of the oncoming henchmen, and made his move, heading towards the man, and then, at the last moment, dropping, rolling, springing up to his feet and launching a punch at the man by his apparent target's side.
Meanwhile, Betty was taking down a pair of attackers, the first with a leg sweep, and the second with a perfectly executed blow to the man's neck. She nodded with satisfaction as she saw Kim quickly dispose of two henchmen who were in the teen hero's way as she headed up to Ron, then stopped to admire the double handspring Kim executed over two other henchmen to reach the platform where Gemini was holding Ron captive.
Unfortunately, Gemini was about to place the helmet on Ron.
"KP, boyfriend in trouble here!" he cried out.
Kim realized she wouldn't reach Gemini in time to stop him. Still, she called out to WWEE's leader. "Gemini, back away from the BF or you will so regret it."
"I think not, Kim Possible! Prepare to say goodbye to Ron Stoppable and be ready to meet Agent Aleph." He put the helmet on Ron's head, then turned to a control panel to activate the device.
Inspiration thankfully struck Kim as she remembered the lullaby she sang to Rufus when she babysat the naked mole rat during the Stoppables' trip to France. She thought of how Ron modified the lyrics of "Happy Birthday" and began to sing: "Rock-a-bye Pepe, In the tree lair, When Global Justice comes, the chihuahua will care …"
On cue, the dog began to yip wildly, distracting Gemini and giving Kim the chance to close the distance between Ron and his captor and her. She ran over to her BF, yanked loose the cables connecting the helmet to the machine, and then removed the headgear from Ron's head.
"Thanks, KP," he said gratefully.
"No big," she said. "You'd have done the same for me."
"True, but I would not have looked or sounded nearly as good as you doing it," he replied.
Kim smiled warmly, then leaned over to kiss Ron.
At that moment, an unholy row broke out between Gemini and Doctor Director. The two began arguing and the volume of their exchange rapidly escalated. Repeated use of the words 'Global Justice' set off the excitable dog, which began to run around in circles and howl. The racket was impressive.
"You ready to head home?" Kim asked with a grin.
"No arguments here, Kimbo," Ron agreed with a goofy smile.
"Then let's ace this place," Kim said as she helped Ron out of his shackles and to his feet.
II.
Kim, Ron, Betty and Will had boarded the GJ hoverjet, which made ready to head back to Middleton.
Ron dropped down into one of the craft's comfortable seats and undid his bow tie. Kim sat next to him. "You okay?"
"Yeah, sorry about tonight though," he sighed.
"What are you talking about?" Kim said. "I got to see a rare cuddle buddy, watch my BF get an award, and take down a villain. You so delivered on the romance front."
"You sure?" Ron asked, sounding unsure.
"So sure," Kim said reassuringly as she squeezed his hand. "I'm just tweaked your moment in the spotlight was cut short."
"Don't be. I've got the bling. More important, I've got the girl. It's cool."
Kim smiled. "Spankin'."
The two young heroes gazed at one another and, not for the first time, lost themselves in each other's presence.
"Excuse me."
Kim sighed. Ron groaned. They looked up to see Betty Director. "I'm sorry to interrupt you but I need to ask Ron: why you didn't use your mystical monkey powers to free yourself?"
Ron gulped. "Uh, they come and go, and I, uh, don't know what you're talking about!"
Kim took Ron's hand in hers. "She knows about Graduation Day, Ron."
"Really? How?"
"This," Betty said as she handed a mePad to Ron. "This was recorded by a security camera in downtown Middleton."
Ron watched intently as he knocked Warhok flat on his back. He waited for what happened next, when he fully summoned the mystical monkey power and took down both Warhok and Warmonga, but the recording ended. He exchanged a furtive glance with Kim.
"Uh, scenario 53 and Scenario 24," Ron finally offered.
"You are referring to role-playing game scenarios," Will said dismissively.
"Excuse me?" Betty asked as Kim stifled a snort.
"You're into RPGs?" Ron asked. "Badical!"
Will tugged at his collar. "I have merely studied them. Any, er, insight into strategic and tactical thinking is of value to a Top Agent."
This time, Kim failed to stifle her snort. Betty quirked an eyebrow. "I see. Would someone mind telling me about these scenarios?"
"Scenario 53: goofy, loveable geek is saved by awesome, beautiful cheerleader," Ron explained, earning a huge smile from a blushing Kim.
"And Scenario 24 is the decision of a hero to not reveal his secret super power to his foe," Will added. "I must concede that was a wise decision, though you were taking a risk."
"What risk? If the bad guy's on the move, KP is going to take him down. I knew I was Chauncey."
Kim beamed at the compliment.
"So, look, the Ronster is kind of tired," he said, trying to stifle a yawn. "Any chance I could catch a few z's?"
Before Betty could answer, Ron had fallen fast asleep.
III.
Ron sauntered into Club Banana, his gait that of a man on top of the world, which was not surprising given that he'd not only recently won one bon-diggity award from his employer but was now picking up his badical girlfriend so he could take her out for a fancy dinner. Unfortunately, he was about to be knocked off his perch.
"No," Monique said firmly.
"No what?" a confused Ron replied.
"You are not coming into my store wearing … that."
"What, this?" he responded as he looked down at his suit. "Too formal?"
"That's one word," she grumbled. "Has Kim seen you in that get up?"
"No," he said. "I just got it. I wanted to impress her for our date tonight."
Monique didn't know whether to laugh, cry, or scream.
"Hey, Mo—" Kim said as she came out of the storeroom and into the main part of Club Banana. "R-ron?"
"Hi, KP!" he said brightly. "What do you think of the new threadage?"
"It's, it's … uh, where did you get it?" she said evasively.
"Smarty Mart Brainy Bargain Basement Bin!"
"That's a lot of alliteration," Kim said.
"And a whole lot of plaid," Monique added.
Ron was wearing what could be charitably described as a Glen Plaid suit. Less charitably, it would be called a fashion disaster of grande-sized proportions. That Ron had chosen to wear his purple dress shirt and a Fearless Ferret tie did not help to improve matters sartorial.
"It was just $49.95! Discounts rock!" he enthused, pumping his fist.
"I think I need to go to the stock room before I go blind," Monique said.
"It does seem kind of bright in here," Ron observed. "Maybe someone should turn down the lights?"
"Good luck, girlfriend," Monique said, shaking her head as she left Kim and Ron alone.
"So, you ready to go to dinner, KP? Chez Couteaux awaits!"
"Uh, I just need to change first," she said, before she headed back to the dressing room.
Monique came out from the stock room and walked up to Ron. "You know how lucky you are?"
"Uh, yeah. I think," he said, rubbing the back of his neck. "This is a trick question, isn't it?"
Monique smirked. "Did you lose a bet when you bought that outfit?"
"What do you mean?"
"That suit is criminal!"
"KP seemed to think it was okay," Ron protested.
"She wouldn't say anything; that girl loves you," Monique countered. "Though right now she ought to be showing you some tough love."
"Was that a shot?" Ron asked.
Just then, Kim emerged from the dressing room, wearing an understated but lovely blue dress.
Monique decided to take matters in hand and turned to her friend, her arms crossed over her chest. "Tell him."
"What?" Kim sputtered.
"It's for his own good," Monique said. "Tell him what you think of his … suit."
"Monique said my threads were criminal," he said hotly. "What do you think, KP?"
Kim gulped. She appreciated that Ron was trying to dress up for her. Still, she didn't think dishonesty contributed to a healthy relationship. She sighed. "Ron," she said placing her hands on his shoulders, "Monique is so right. Twill and Tweed are probably on their way here right now." Ron looked pained and Kim could see his feelings were hurt. "I so appreciate that you want to look nice for me."
"Yeah, but it's clear that fashion is yet another area where Ron Stoppable can't make the grade. College, clothes …" He said, his shoulders slumping.
"Ron …" Kim said gently, feeling terrible.
"Oh, you cannot be serious."
Kim, Ron, and Monique turned to the familiar snarky voice.
"I didn't realize that this was Dork Day!" gibed Bonnie, who had finally returned to her normal size after being accidently shrunk by Junior earlier in the summer. "Kim, I always knew you were desperate, but you're actually going to be seen in public with that?"
Kim bristled as Bonnie cackled. Behind the brunette was Junior, looking as clueless as ever.
Monique took Ron by the arm. "C'mon, lover boy. Time for Monique to clean you up for your date."
"No," Kim said resolutely. "I like him just the way he is."
"KP?" said Ron.
"Kim?" chimed in Monique.
"You heard me. I like him just the way he is," she said firmly. "Let's go, Ron."
"But his clothes," Junior protested. "They do not harmonize!"
"They harmonize just fine with me," Kim snapped as she took Ron by the hand and led him out of the store. "And that's all that matters."
Kim led Ron out to the parking lot and his father's car. She let him open the door for her and she dropped into the passenger seat as he went around and climbed in behind the steering wheel. They sat quietly. Finally, Ron spoke.
"You want me to go home? I can change."
"What? No!" she protested.
"KP, be honest with me here. Are the Fashion Police really about to bust me? Because I don't want to make you an accessory to a couture crime."
Kim took Ron's hand in hers and squeezed. "It's no big. I meant what I said. You wanted to look nice, and I so appreciate that."
"Yeah, but I'm guessing I kind of didn't pull it off," he said.
"Not so much," Kim admitted. "But you tried. And that counts for a lot."
"Yeah, maybe, but I need to look like the guy that's dating Kim Possible."
Kim cocked an eyebrow. "Oh? And what does he look like?"
"Uh, I don't know. Kind of like, well, someone other than me? Like a guy who can dress?"
"Wrong," she said as she leaned over and cupped his face in her hands. "The guy that looks like he's dating Kim Possible looks exactly like you. Now take me to Chez Couteaux, please and thank you."
"You sure, Kim?"
"So sure," she said before she kissed him.
IV.
"Ron?"
"Yeah, KP?"
"A couple of weeks ago. You held back with Gemini why?"
"Uh, what, Scenarios 53 and 24?"
"In addition to the role-playing games. There was more," she said as she rested her chin on her steepled hands. "Spill, please and thank you."
Ron gulped and squirmed, which proved to be fatal tells as Kim immediately hit him with the puppy dog pout. "Oh man," he whined. She didn't relent. "The scenarios were real, KP," he said. "It was badical being saved by you. And I didn't think Gemini needed to know about the whole mystical monkey power thing and I'm really glad I didn't monkey up since that video Betty showed us means even GJ still doesn't know everything that happened last spring and, well, I wanted you to have a chance to do your thing. I remembered our talk on the Enterprise. I never want you to feel super silly—"
"Supercilious," Kim corrected him. "Though I think you mean superfluous."
"School words, KP, but yeah, that," Ron said. "Anyway, I thought you'd like to come in and kick some bad guy booty and …"
"You're really sweet, Mr. Stoppable. Did you know that?" she said, taking his hands in hers. "Thanks."
"'Sha," Ron said with a self-deprecating wave of the hand. "It's what we sidekicks do."
"How many times do I have to tell you you're not a sidekick," Kim said. "You're my partner."
"I know, KP. But if you look at how things usually go down, you're still the hero and I'm still your sidekick and that's coolio. I know you're my hero."
Kim looked at Ron and her eyes began to tear up.
"Uh oh, did I say something wrong?"
"No," Kim said affectionately. "You so didn't say something wrong. And if we weren't in a restaurant and if it wouldn't give my dad a heart attack, I'd jump across this table and kiss you."
He flashed Kim a goofy grin. "I'm kind of liking that image."
"I love you, Ron," she said as she squeezed his hands.
"I know, KP," he said with a broad smile. "Which is why it's badical to be the Ronman."
"Well don't forget that," she said before thinking wistfully, Especially when I leave for college in a few days.
To Be Continued …