My thanks to Boris Yeltsin, campy, CajunBear73, Eddy13, Bobtrumpet, Sentinel103, Sharper the Writer, Quathis, Jimmy1201, and captainkodak1 for reviewing and to everyone for reading.
As always, leave a review and I'll send you a personal response.
A special thanks to everyone who has added What's the Alma Mater? to their favorite stories or alert lists.
Finally, I am once again indebted to campy for his invaluable proofreading services. A naco is in the mail (this is where Kim, considering the mess, would probably say, "Gorchy!" while Ron, contemplating Tex-Mex goodness, would chime in with a "Badical!")
KP, RS and company © Disney
Lynn Accurate © the Author
Chapter 15: All The News That's Unfit To Print
I.
"So, how goes the packing?" Ron asked as he climbed up into Kim's loft, which was filled with boxes and piles of clothes and various and sundry other things a young woman might bring to college.
"Grrrrrrr," Kim responded, her back to him.
"Uh, okay, maybe this isn't the best time for the Ronman to be visiting his GF."
"Head down those stairs and you are so busted," she said as she spun around. "I need some Ronshine."
"I think I may have some here. Let me check my pocket," he said with an exaggerated look of thoughtfulness as he ostentatiously rummaged around. "Huh. Nope, no Ronshine. Just a naked mole rat!" he declared as he pulled Rufus out.
"Hey!" squeaked the smallest member of Team Possible, clearly having been asleep.
"Sorry, little buddy," Ron said sheepishly as he returned his diminutive friend to his pants-side abode.
Kim smirked. "How about the other pocket?"
Ron reached into his other pocket. "Hmm. Zombie Mayhem cheat codes, a humble coupon book, overdue history homework from tenth grade. Sorry, KP, looks like I forgot to bring some."
"There's one other place for you to look," she said with a grin.
"Yeah?" he replied with a grin of his own.
"Mmm hmmm," she said as she pressed a finger against his lips. "Right here."
"Well, whaddya know? I think you may have found something."
The two teens leaned in for a kiss, just in time for the Kimmunicator to go off.
"What up, Wade?" a clearly flustered Kim asked.
"I did it again, didn't I?"
Kim's expression said all he needed to know.
"My bad," he said apologetically. "But Lynn Accurate just went live with a story about you on her website."
"Lynn who?" Kim asked.
"Only the foremost purveyor of lies, half lies, truthiness, rumors, and scandal," Ron said.
"And you'd know this how?"
"Hypothetically, theoretically, I may have, maybe, but I can't promise, to have stumbled across her site when I was doing research for one of my papers last spring. Maybe," Ron stammered before he gulped and Kim rolled her eyes.
"Remember that – hypothetically, theoretically, maybe – when we can't go on dates this fall because we're in different time zones thanks to your paying attention to fake news instead of your grades."
Ron was about to protest but the expression on Kim's face convinced him to keep quiet.
"Can you send me a link to the story?" she asked Wade in a tone that made her request more of demand.
"Done," Wade said, clearly looking uncomfortable.
"I'm not going to like this, am I?" she said, suddenly weary.
Wade grimaced. "Not so much."
"Okay," Kim sighed. "Thanks."
Wade's image winked out and a link appeared on the screen of the Kimmunicator. Kim clicked – and gasped as she was presented with the headline, "Kim Possible: Hero or Zero?"
II.
It's all a lie!
Middleton's own so-called hometown teen hero, Kim Possible, has carefully cultivated a reputation as the girl who can do anything. But two recent videos from last spring's alien invasion suggest that she can do nothing, while her sidekick, Ron Stoppable, who first tried to rescue her when she was effortlessly captured at their graduation and then later took down one of the aliens after it had soundly and easily defeated her, should be receiving some well-deserved, long-overdue kudos.
The narration was accompanied by images, first of Kim in her classic mission gear, followed by a mobile phone video recording of her being drawn up to the Lorwardians' ship despite Ron's unsuccessful attempt to save her, followed by grainy security video of Kim being tossed aside, followed by Ron charging, battling, and taking down Warhok.
It would appear that Ms. Possible has been hogging the limelight for years, while her so-called boyfriend did all the heavy lifting. Her need to be the center of attention was not limited to her purported hero work. I have with me here, Bonnie Rockwaller, a high school classmate. What do you have to tell us, Ms. Rockwaller?
"Kim was like such the grandstander. She always had to be in charge, at the top of the pyramid. She was so angry when I was voted Homecoming Queen and she couldn't lord it over Ronnie and the school ...
A picture of Bonnie and Ron wearing their homecaming gear at the fire station pancake breakfast appeared.
".. I never understood what he saw in her. She just uses him and treats him like her lapdog."
More images followed, beginning with the cover of the spring issue of Humans, with its shot of Kim with a cropped Ron off to the side, followed by a photo of Kim atop a cheer pyramid.
More to come on America's Top Scandal! The full story of the Girl Who Can Do Anything to Boost Her Ego!
III.
Kim was horrified.
"Uh, at least she got my name right," Ron said nervously.
Kim glared at him.
"Okay, shutting up here," he said.
"I so cannot believe this," she snapped. "This is low even for Bonnie!"
"Yeah, everyone knows I'm your Big Dog, not your lap dog."
Kim rubbed her temples. "Ron, I appreciate what you're trying to do, but, please, so not the time."
"Sorry, KP, just tryin' to be a supportive boyfriend."
"I know. But this is serious. My rep is ruined!"
Ron reached out to hold Kim, but, much to his surprise, she ignored him and got up.
"Where are you going?" he asked.
"I don't know," she said, an unfamiliar edge to her voice. "But I need some time. Alone."
She stormed down the stairs, leaving her shocked boyfriend behind.
IV.
Kim executed a flawless spin-kick, which she then followed up with two well-placed knife chops. She had been beating up on the Middleton Athletic Club's defenseless punching bag for at least an hour yet felt she was only warming up.
"You've developed such excellent form, Kimberly Ann. The Shaolin monks would approve."
Kim turned to see her grandmother.
"Nana!" she cried out as she ran to the older woman, whose outstretched arms awaited her. "I'm so happy to see you — but what are you doing here?"
"Well, you know your parents weren't going to leave Tim and Jim alone while they went with you to New York. I thought I'd surprise everyone and come a couple of days early," she explained. Then she offered a knowing smile. "But you want to know why I'm here at the gym."
Kim nodded.
"There's a very confused, worried young man who loves you back at your house who is—how do you young people put it?—oh yes, freaking out. When I left, he was babbling on about how he had let you down yet again and was less than useless. Did you fight?"
"Nice work, Possible," Kim groaned before adding, "No, we didn't fight. I think."
"Do you want to talk about it?"
"I must be the world's worst girlfriend," Kim groaned.
"Tell me what happened, dear" Nana said gently. Kim proceeded to share the story of Wade's call, the video, and the subsequent exchange with Ron.
"There's more than your reputation going on here, isn't there?"
Kim had sat down on a bench. Her shoulders had slumped and her head was in her hands. Nana sat by her and placed a reassuring hand on her granddaughter's arm. Kim began to sniffle.
"There, there," the older woman said as her granddaughter began to cry. She gently patted her on the back. She waited for the teen to speak.
"I'm scared," Kim said in a small voice. "I'm so scared. I'm leaving home, I'm leaving my family, I, I'm leaving my best friend boy friend who's been with me since I was four and then this junk with Lynn Accurate happens and I so don't know why but I ran away from the guy I love."
"Yes, you did," Nana said. "But before I tell you to get a grip, I will say that what happened may have touched on some raw nerves for you at a time when you are experiencing and processing some very powerful emotions."
Kim shrugged. "I guess so, but still—"
"If I recall, a few years ago Ronald wrote a false story about you for the school paper. And a major reason the two of you won't be together this fall is because he didn't take his school work very seriously."
"Nana," Kim objected, "That's so not fair. That was the past. Ron's stepped up so much and he was trying to have my back today."
"That's right. He's grown a lot, hasn't he? So have you, Kimberly Anne." Nana said in her most kindly grandmother's voice. "Remember that going forward. Oh, there will be times when you're upset with one another, in part because of the past, but don't lose sight of what you have and can have in the future. You're very lucky to have Ronald as a boyfriend. And he's very lucky to have you as a girlfriend. You know, you two really are very well suited for one another."
Kim wiped away some tears, and smiled. "How did you get so good at reading me?"
"I'm your grandmother, dear. And I did develop the Psy Ops Warfare program when I was with the Navy."
Kim snorted and Nana smiled before she embraced her granddaughter. "Now let's go home to your young man."
V.
Kim's family was gathered in the living room.
"What do you mean he's not here?" a visibly agitated Kim asked. Her first thought, which she knew was irrational, was that she'd driven away Ron for good.
"Well, Ronald was a bit …" James said.
"He was losing it!" Tim said. "He was totally over the edge!"
"It was like the time he went nuts on TV over Bueno Nacho!" Jim added.
"Boys, I was going to say he was a bit worked up," Mr. Dr. Possible clarified.
"And then he left?" Kim asked, feeling awful.
"No," Anne said. "After a while, and rather suddenly, his expression changed. He seemed very focused."
"Focused?" Kim asked as she considered the possibilities.
"Yes," Anne said. "And then he looked …"
"Like he'd just had the best idea ever?" Kim nervously suggested as she recalled a battlesuit, 'secret borrowing', and football.
"Yes," Anne agreed. "And then he just ran off."
"Did he say where?" she asked, now anxious.
"No," James answered. "Other than to take care of some business."
Kim activated her wrist Kimmunicator. She didn't even have to ask Wade her question to know something was up; the expression on his face spoke volumes. "Ethics later, info now," she said firmly. "Where's Ron?"
"He should be in Upperton by now," Wade said. "At Mr. Paisley's."
"And he went there why?"
"I'm not sure," Wade said. "You need a ride to get there?"
"No, I think I can borrow my 'rents car."
Kim got the keys to her father's coupe and raced out the door, wondering what she would find at the home of the billionaire with a disturbing affection for plush collectibles ...
To Be Continued …