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My gratitude, as always, to campy for proofreading this chapter.
Also, special thanks to Molloy.
KP, RS and the Gang © Disney; All Original Characters © the Author
Chapter 18: First Year Student Disorientation
I.
The campus was filled with the bustle and energy of new students moving into their dorm rooms. Despite Ron's absence, Kim's excitement had been building throughout the day and now that she was actually at Llenrock, she could barely contain her enthusiasm.
"It's a beautiful campus," her mother said. "I can't wait to see the medical school."
"I hear they have some of the most advanced space sciences research facilities in the world," her father added approvingly.
"Mom, Dad, as awesome as you guys are, just remember, I'm the one going to school here, not you."
"Fair enough, Kimmie," Anne said. "We just want you to study whatever will make you happy."
They found their way to the West Campus, where Kim's dorm was located. She was in one of the older residential buildings that had been designed in the Collegiate Gothic style. She smiled wistfully as she imagined Ron going on about Monkey Fist or Duff Killigan being at home in such surroundings. Then she decided to get her head in the game and live in the moment.
They found her dorm, checked in with a residential advisor who gave her a key and headed up to her new room, carrying some of her belongings. When they arrived, they discovered that Kim's new roommate had already put some bags down on one of the beds to stake out one side of the room.
Kim wondered with whom she'd be sharing space over the coming months. She'd received word just three days earlier that her original roommate, with whom she'd had some pleasant exchanges on the phone and by email, had asked to be reassigned since she was afraid that one of Kim's arch foes might show up unannounced. Kim had been disappointed but understanding.
The three Possibles began setting down Kim's things but were soon interrupted by a boisterous voice.
"Hi!"
Kim turned to see a thin, bespectacled young woman with short ginger hair, piercing dark eyes, a surprisingly strong jaw, and a smile that revealed a perfect set of teeth. The teen hero wasn't sure why, but she felt like she had seen the girl before.
"I'm Fern Berman!"
No way, the teen hero thought. She can't be … okay, Possible, head in the game! "Kim Possible," she said warmly. "These are my parents, James and Anne."
"It's so nice to meet you," Anne said.
"Same here," James added. Looking around, he asked, "Is there anyone helping you move in?"
"There sure is," a familiar voice announced. "There's no way I wasn't going to help my little sister settle in!"
James' face lit up. "My hero! Outstanding!"
Kim's eyes opened wide as was unable to contain her shock. Her new roommate was indeed — if improbably — the much younger sibling of none other than Burn Berman, Certified Public Accountant, and member of Team Impossible.
II.
After moving her belongings into her dorm room, Kim and her parents decided to explore campus on foot. They had arrived at the central quad of the college and were about to go into the Student Union building when Kim stopped dead in her tracks. "Okay, this is ten and a half on the weirdness scale," she blurted out.
James and Anne looked in the direction that seemed to be the focus of their daughter's attention. "Is that Mister Barkin?" a surprised Anne asked.
"It sure does look like him," James said. "I hope Jim and Tim haven't blown up his car again."
The man approached Kim and her parents. "Is there something I can help you with?" he asked, his gruff manner identical to that of her one-time high school teacher.
"Hi," Kim said, suddenly recalling Ron's 9th Grade experience with Middleton High's assistant principal and utility teacher. She found herself hoping that the man didn't think she had looked at him in a funny way. "You resemble someone we know, one of my high school teachers, Steve Barkin."
The doppelganger grinned. "That would be my twin brother. I'm Reeve. Professor Reeve Barkin. Welcome to Llenrock!"
"Thanks," Kim said.
"It's nice to meet you," Anne added.
"So, what do you teach?" James asked.
"English literature, history of warfare, and a course in 18th Century American culinary arts at the Hotel School," he said. "I'm also the Assistant Coach for the football team."
And this doesn't surprise me why? Kim thought. Ron will so freak when I tell him about this. Wait. Maybe I shouldn't tell him. Otherwise, I might be without my BF for the next four years!
"I presume you're a first-year student?" Barkin asked Kim.
"I am," she answered.
"Then I may see you in class. I also teach one of the freshman student seminar sections. Carry on!" he barked.
III.
Kim's parents had treated her to a nice dinner before saying goodnight and heading off to their hotel. She was arranging things on her desk, including a number of photos of her and Ron.
Fern was aware of how Team Possible had schooled her big brother and his colleagues and so watched with a bemused smile as the tough as nails, ultra-competent Kim Possible looked like a crushing sheep as held a photo of her beau. "Hey, if you want to call your guy, I can take a walk."
"Oh, Fern, you don't have to—" Kim said, wanting to accept the offer but feeling like she would be inconveniencing her new roommate. Getting used to sharing space with someone was going to take some work, she realized.
"Don't worry. If I had a significant other who was willing to jump into an alien tractor beam to save me, I'd want to call them, too," she said with a playful grin that caused Kim to redden. "Sorry, but your graduation and your guy are all over meTube."
"Th-thanks," Kim sputtered.
"Take your time," Fern offered. "It's okay. It's got to be nice to have someone like that in your life."
"It is," Kim said with a smile as she looked at her new roommate. "So, do you have a boyfriend?"
Fern chuckled. "No," she said. "And I don't expect I will."
"Why?" Kim asked. "I mean, I've only known you a few hours but you seem really nice and …"
Fern, continuing to smile, arched an eyebrow.
Kim's eyes grew wide and she reddened. "Oh, uh, I mean, well, you …"
"I like girls," Fern said helpfully.
"That's fine. I'm fine with that. Totally fine. Ferociously. Really, I …" Kim dropped her head into her hands.
"Is this going to be a problem?" Fern asked.
"No," Kim groaned. "Getting my foot out of my mouth, however, may be. You must think I am such the jerk."
"Nah," Fern laughed. "If you're cool with things, I am too."
"Really?"
"Yep," Fern said. "Really."
"Spankin'," Kim said relieved. "Though if you tell me you like villains, that will be so the drama."
Fern laughed again and stuck out her hand. "Roomies?"
"Roomies," Kim said with a grin of her own.
"You know," Fern said, "I hope I get to meet Ron soon."
"So do I," Kim said. "It's only been two days and I so miss him."
"Okay, enough girl talk. You need to talk to your man," a grinning Fern said as she left the room.
After her roommate was gone, Kim pulled out her old Kimmunicator with its larger screen and dialed Ron.
"Hey, KP!" he said. "How goes my lady's first day of college?"
"Whacked, but in a good way," she chuckled, wearing a happy expression that soon changed to one of puzzlement. "Ron, where are you?"
"Bernice's plane," he said. "We should be in Middleton in an hour or so."
"Hi Kim!" she said warmly as Ron held the Kimmunicator up to the aviatrix.
"Uh, hi," Kim said. "Ron, what's going on?"
"Let me leave the cockpit so Bernice can focus on doing her bon-diggity flying stuff," he said as he got up and headed aft. "So, where were we?"
"You're giving me the 411 on why you are where you are. Why didn't you fly back with Mr. Smarty? You didn't go on a mission without telling me, did you?"
"Nah, no KP-less missions here," Ron said before he began rubbing the back of his neck. "Uh, Mr. Smarty and I kind of had a, uh, disagreement and he told me to think outside of the box to get home. It's all good though. Wade was able to set me up with a ride so I can be back in time to start classes tomorrow."
"You had a 'disagreement' with your boss? Sitch me. Now!"
"Well, Mr. Smarty was not a happy camper when he found out the President called you."
"Excuse me?"
"Well, President Lott asked if he could do anything to say thanks for my helpage with the dinner last night. I told him that while Team Possible isn't about the mad money, I thought a college recommendation for next year would be kind of cool and while he was at it, it would be really badical for him to personally thank you for saving the world and everything."
"That's really sweet, Ron," Kim cooed. "But I don't understand what the ish is with Mr. Smarty. It was just a call and, I hope, a letter, which you so earned."
"Have no fears, KP. The letter's in the bag," Ron said jauntily before he his grin turned to a frown. "Mr. Smarty said since I was in DC on company business, any favors the president wanted to do should have been for Smarty Mart. I think he was hoping for some ginormous government contract."
"That's so flawed," Kim said heatedly. She liked Mr. Smarty and appreciated all he had done for Ron but this wasn't right. "You were being a good citizen and it's not like Smarty Mart is why you can bake and we so don't cash in on our hero work."
"That's what I tried to explain to Mr. Smarty!" Ron said before he grew quiet.
"What is it, Ron?"
"He said that what I do for you when I'm your sidekick is my business but when I'm his sidekick, my job is to do what he wants."
"You're not my sidekick," she said firmly. "You're my partner."
"I know, KP. But I don't think Mr. Smarty gets that. In his world, there's one boss and a whole lot of sidekicks. To be honest, I didn't like him comparing what I do with you with what I do for him, though it got me thinking. Uh, about the future."
"Oh?" Kim said, wondering where this was all going.
"Yeah. I don't know that I've ever really thought about this, Kim, but helping you save the world is cool not just because I can be with you and have your back but because, well, it means something. Making Mr. Smarty richer? Sure, I like him and the store and the bargains and I'm Chauncey with the paycheck, but, well … I guess I want to do something more than just make a bunch of money for someone when I grow up."
"You're sounding pretty grown up right now," Kim said with a warm smile. "President Lott was right. You do me proud, Ron Stoppable."
"Thanks," he said, beaming his girlfriend's compliment. "So, enough about the Rondo. How was my feminina's first day at Llenrock?"
Kim chuckled. "You so won't believe who's here, starting with my roommate …"
IV.
The next evening Kim and Ron called each other simultaneously, affording the auburn-haired hero a new means for earning free sodas by calling jinx on her boyfriend.
"So, how was your first day at Middleton Community, College Boyfriend?"
"No complaints so far, KP," Ron said jauntily. "I got into the classes I wanted and as far as I can tell, not one of them is taught by anybody named Barkin!"
"I'm really proud of your course choices," she said.
"Well, if I'm going to have any chance of being with you next year, I've got to put some impressive numbers on the old academic score board."
"You've really thought this through," she said, clearly impressed and, well, smitten. Kim loved seeing Ron try.
He reddened and rubbed the back of his neck.
"Spill," Kim ordered, sensing there was more to the story.
"I actually got the idea from Mr. B."
"Come again?"
"He's got in into his head that he's going to coach me into Llenrock."
Kim arched an eyebrow. "I think someone's guilting, and rightly so, over your transcript and letter sitch."
"You're probably right, KP," Ron agreed. "Though I'd also bet he figures that if I'm at Llenrock next year, he won't have me as his boss anymore and he might even have a shot at my job!"
Kim snorted. "That's so flawed but it makes sense."
"I'm cool with it. I still want that starring role in 'Ron Stepubbable Goes to College'. I'm all about dating the pretty redheaded co-ed," he said as he waggled his eyebrows.
"And she's all about dating you," Kim offered as she blew him a kiss.
"Hey, maybe we could pitch this idea to Jimmy Blamhammer! It'd be a way to make some extra Claude!"
"So not happening," Kim said. "I most def want to be your co-star, but in real life, not the movies."
"But it could be a musical!"
"Mmm hmm. I can see it now: 'Song of Sacky Eye Eye Eye'."
"Okay, you're mocking me," Ron pouted.
Kim blew her BF another kiss. "Only because I can't lock lips with you right now."
Ron couldn't help but grin. But then he looked at his watch and sighed. "Well, I'd better be going. I'd rather keep talking with you but Smarty Mart calls."
"I'm glad that Mr. Smarty put his tweakage with you behind him."
"Same here," Ron said. "As much as I liked Trixie and the guys, I really didn't want to go back on pet patrol and I need that paycheck if I'm going to be visiting you in New York."
"I can't wait to see you," Kim said.
"Less than a month until the Rondo gets to see his GF in her badical new college cheer squad uniform!"
"And the Rondo's GF can't wait to show her BF some new cheer routines," Kim said in her most sultry voice.
Ron's eyes opened wide. "Ah-booyah," he squeaked.
Kim giggled. "Talk to you tomorrow, Ron. I love you."
"Back atcha, KP."
V.
Over the next week Kim and Ron each settled into routines at their respective schools. Not surprisingly, Kim was already fully engaged in college life and trying to make the most of every second of every day.
And so it was that one afternoon she found a table in a corner of the Student Union and sat down with a salad and some reading for her class later that day; she hoped to finish a couple of chapters with time to spare before the lecture so she could surprise Ron with a quick call before she headed off to cheer squad practice. She was soon immersed in her text and thus didn't notice the young man sit down next to her.
"You're Kim Possible," he said.
She turned and found herself looking into the deep blue eyes of a very handsome fellow who had a thick head of wavy hair, a strong jaw, and chiseled good looks. By any objective standard, he was golden. "Do I know you?" she asked. He seemed vaguely familiar.
"No, but I bet you want to," he said, flashing a perfect smile.
Kim smirked. "You so did not say that."
The young man laughed. "Okay, that was pretty cheesy," he said before he extended his hand. "Troy Bell." To be polite, Kim reciprocated. She didn't like that Troy, who she now remembered was on the football team, let the handshake linger and so brusquely withdrew her hand. Troy Bell? she mused. More like trouble.
"So," he said, trying to be the epitome of collegiate cool. "I was wondering if you'd like to go out some time. It'd be fun."
"Thanks, but no," she said turning back to her book.
Troy chuckled. "What? You still seeing that guy you were with in high school?"
Kim looked up, stunned.
"Sure, everyone's seen you two on TV and on-line," Troy said with a dismissive wave of the hand. "But you're in college now. You don't have to go on pity dates with Don anymore. You know, you might even be able to find a new, better sidekick."
Kim felt her blood pressure rising very quickly. "I don't know what your damage is, Roy, and I so don't know or care who you think you are, but Ron is my partner, not my sidekick, and I love him, so why don't you take your ego out some time, leave me alone, and everyone will be happy."
Troy was surprised. He wasn't used to being rebuffed, especially by first-year students. "Your loss, Kim. But when you change your mind and are ready to try dating a real man, look me up."
Kim rolled her eyes. "'I'm already dating a real man," she said. "Now go away, please and thank you, before I move you from the 'obnoxious pretty boy' column to the 'annoying villain wannabe' one, which you so don't want to be in."
Troy's eyes opened wide. "You can't be serious."
"As my BF likes to say," she said politely before her tone and demeanor changed to something menacing, "Note serious face."
Troy, confronted with the preternaturally calm yet disquietingly feral expression all too familiar to so many hapless henchmen and their ultimately defeated evil employers around the world and having been smart enough to get into Llenrock in the first place, quickly beat a hasty retreat.
Kim shook her head in disgust and returned to her reading, but didn't get far. Her thoughts drifted to Ron, his ears in particular, which brought a broad smile to her face. Thinking about him was far more satisfying than wading through Nietzsche; after all, tow-headed, brown-eyed, freckled masters of the mystical monkey power were way more appealing than übermenschen any day of the week. Much to Kim's disappointment, though, all happy thoughts her BF were interrupted moments later as another voice demanded her attention.
The speaker was dressed in an expensive green t-shirt, black designer jeans, what Kim was pretty sure was a pair of $2,000 onyx boots from Country Club Banana, designer sunglasses and had her hair pulled back in a loose ponytail. She looked good and knew it, even without all of the admiring glances she was drawing.
"That was pretty brutal, Princess, though I got to give you your props for the stink eye you gave Joe College when you took him down. He's probably already running home crying to his momma."
"Shego?" Kim didn't like this sitch. She was seated in a booth by a window while her long-time nemesis was standing close enough that she had her boxed in. The last thing Kim wanted was a confrontation in a crowded space, particularly when the advantage was definitely with the villainess if a fight broke out. "You're here why?"
Shego smirked. "You say you help people. Fine," she said as she surprised Kim and dropped into the seat opposite her. "I need help."
To Be Continued …