My thanks to campy, Jimmy1201, Quathis, CajunBear73, Bobtrumpet, Eddy13 for reviewing and to everyone for reading.

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My gratitude, as always, to campy for proofreading this chapter.

KP, RS and the Gang © Disney; All Original Characters © the Author

Chapter 19: Girl (and Guy) Talk

I.

As Ron Stoppable raced across campus to the bus stop, desperately hoping to catch the next cross-town express to work, he mused on how this was not how he had expected to be spending his days as a college freshman. He had always imagined that college would be one never-ending party filled with music, dancing, and pretty women, sort of like the culmination of the spring break trip he and Kim had taken to visit with Nana Possible back in high school.

While Ron knew that with Kim he was more than set for pretty women, he would not have minded some music and dancing or even a quick game of Zombie Mayhem. Instead, he was reading, studying, and working harder than he ever had before in his life and he knew there was one reason for this change in his behavior: one red-headed girlfriend now resident in Upstate New York.

Ron hoped he might have time to steal a few minutes for a call with Kim during his work break, though that depended on his being able to stick to his already tight schedule. Unfortunately, his plans were disrupted by a series of unanticipated events that he saw unfold around him in quick succession.

The first thing to happen that Ron noticed was the sudden running and screaming of his panicked fellow students.

The second thing he observed was that all of said students appeared to be fleeing from his vicinity or, to be more accurate, him.

The third thing he noticed was the bright yellow beam being fired by the hover car positioned directly above him.

The fourth thing that caught his attention was his pants falling to the earth as he was pulled up off the ground by the aforementioned ray. "Aw, man! Not in college, too!" he whined.

II.

Kim closed her book, put it down on the table, crossed her arms over her chest and cocked an eyebrow.

Shego smirked. "You always this warm and fuzzy with people who come to you to do your save-the-world thing?"

"Most of them haven't tried to drown me in chocolate ganache," Kim shot back. "Or set me up for a dressing down by my boss at Club Banana."

"Touché," Shego conceded. "Look, Princess, I'm serious. I need your help."

Kim allowed herself to relax a little bit. While she didn't trust Shego, they had worked together on occasion, even had a truce, and helping people was what she did. And then there was that whole Big Sister/Little Sister thing when Shego had been zapped by the Attitudinator courtesy Electronique. "Okay, sitch me."

"Your lack of interest in that piece of prime beefcake suggests you and Stoppable are still an item."

"Hello? You heard what I just said to Captain Ego."

"Just checking. Stoppable's an easy excuse, or maybe I should say distraction, if you don't want to talk to some guy."

"Ron is not a distraction," Kim fumed.

"Unless you're doing your teen hero gig," Shego gibed.

"So different," Kim said a bit defensively. "What do you want?"

"You're staying together with him even though the two of you are in different time zones and you seem to have all the BMOC's you could ever want asking you out?"

"I don't need a BMOC," Kim said dismissively. Then her eyes took on a far-away, dreamy look. "I've already got Ron."

Shego took a moment to appraise her long-time opponent. "You really have it bad for the buffoon!"

"He's not a buffoon," Kim snapped before she once again softened. "And, yes, I've got it bad for him."

Shego chuckled.

"I don't know what you're up to, but I so don't have time for this," Kim snapped as she took her text and put it into her backpack.

"Yeah, yeah, I know. Little Miss Priss goes to college," Shego said snidely. "Back to Stoppable …" She could see that Kim was about to cut her off and so held up her hands. "One question: How do you stand him?"

"Excuse me?" a now tweaked Kim replied.

"Don't play stupid, Cupcake. I don't care how many years he followed you around on those missions of yours or that he went to outer space to save your sorry keister or how good he might be at smacking lips—" Shego smirked as Kim blushed—"but don't tell me that your random boy toy doesn't drive you crazy sometimes; I've seen you two together. Yet you still haven't killed him."

"Shego, why are you asking me this?" Kim asked, her curiosity finally overwhelming her pique. Her interest was further aroused by Shego's squirming. "Spill. Now."

Shego sighed. "It's Dr. D," she mumbled.

"Oh?"

"Yeah, I, well, oh snap, I don't know what's going on with Drew."

"Drew?" Kim said, incredulous. She'd seen the video of the UN medal ceremony but still ... Could it be?

"Yeah, Drew," Shego snapped. "You got a problem with that?"

"No," Kim replied hastily. "None at all."

"Good," Shego said sullenly.

Kim considered her long-time nemesis before speaking. "You like him like him," she said, offering a statement, not a question.

Shego looked around evasively before finally focusing her attention on Kim. "Yeah, I guess I do. But he drives me nuts. So, back to my question: how do you put up with Stoppable?"

"I don't 'put up' with him, Shego. I love him, quirks, ticks, weirdness and all. It's who he is and I wouldn't have him any other way."

"What, you're telling me he's perfect?"

Kim laughed. "No, I'm not. But he's perfect for me and that's what matters."

"So you never want to dope slap him?"

"If you mean, does he do things that bug me, yes, he does," Kim answered honestly. "But when you're in a relationship, you accept each other for who you are and when something becomes an ish you talk about it with each other."

"That's it? You and Stoppable talk and everything's fine?"

"Trust me. It's not as simple as it sounds but it's way better than keeping things bottled up inside, being annoyed, or ignoring things. Do that and it can be so the drama."

"So you and the sidekick just talk and it's all okay. Sorry, but it can't be that easy," said a disbelieving Shego.

"I didn't say anything about it being easy. Sometimes being honest is hard. But it's worth it. Before he got a job, Ron was using a coupon book to pay for our dates. And don't even get me started on the claw machine at the mall."

"So what did you do?"

"I finally told him how I hated that coupon book and after he got his job at Smarty Mart he never used it on a date again. As for the claw machine, Ron got the message."

"Huh," Shego grunted, apparently not convinced.

"Shego, let me ask you a question: why do you think Ron came to save me from Warhok and Warmonga?"

"Because he knew he'd never find another girl dumb enough to date him?"

Kim shook her head. "Try again, this time without the snark, please and thank you."

"Fine, Stoppable went after you because he cares about you."

"Ron doesn't just care about me," Kim said. "Ron loves me. You know, right before graduation he told me he didn't want to hold me back because I was going to the stars and he thought he was stuck on earth and pretty much told me I could break up with him and follow my dreams and there'd be no hard feelings."

"He was willing to let you go?"

"Mmm hmmm. Ron was very sweet but so flawed; there was no way I was breaking up with him," Kim answered before she fell silent. After a few moments, she continued, "The single worst moment of my life was when I was pulled away from Ron by the Lorwardians' tractor beam. I was scared I'd never see him again."

Shego nodded. "I guess I can see that. It's not like you would have thought he'd come after you."

"Oh, no, I knew he'd try. He's always had my back. But that time …"

"Big, green and alien and his girlfriend were having a fit and trashing the planet."

"Pretty much," Kim said. "And still Ron found a way to get to me. Just like you did Drakken. So tell me: why did you do it?"

Shego sat quietly for what seemed a very long time. "I guess because Drew's the most important person in my life."

Kim nodded. "Which is what Ron and I would say about each other."

"Yeah, but that doesn't mean you have to be … a thing. You and Stoppable were tight for a long time before you started playing tonsil hockey. I bet you two could have stayed tight even if you'd gone out with someone else."

"I thought that, too, but thanks to you and Drakken, I realized otherwise."

"What are you talking about?"

Kim sighed. As wonderful as everything turned out afterwards, she remained uncomfortable revisiting the events leading up to her Junior Prom, especially so with Shego, who with her employer had contributed to the situation that jeopardized her friendship and ultimately her future with Ron. Still, if she could help her two long-time foes figure out their relationship, that might make it that much more likely they'd continue to stay off the path of villainy …

Kim took a deep breath. "Okay, this was the sitch …"

III.

"Drakken?" Ron was surprised to find himself in a flying car with the blue-skinned scientist.

"Help me," the older man pleaded as he dropped to his knees and wrapped his arms around Ron's legs. "Please, I beg of you!"

"Uh, personal space," the teen said.

"Oh, er, yes," Drakken sputtered, as he tried to collect himself. "Sorry."

"And maybe we can put up the windows? It's kind of chilly."

"You might consider wearing pants," Drakken said haughtily in an attempt to regain some of his dignity. "I know you college students are always trying to transgress boundaries as you explore your identities and try to figure out who you are but walking around in your boxers seems a bit much."

"Dude, I was wearing my pants before you zapped me with your ray thingie! Now land this tub so I can get them back. I can't go to work like this!"

"Not until you help me," Drakken said. "That is what you and Kim Possible say you do, isn't it?"

"Yes, but I'm usually wearing my pants when I help KP save the world!"

"You promise you'll help me if I get your pants?"

"Yeah, but you also have to fly me to Smarty Mart since I'm missing my bus," Ron said as he watched the crosstown express pull away from the stop.

"And what if you can't solve my problem by the time we get there?"

"I'll help you during my break, okay?" Ron sighed.

"Fine," Drakken said as he used his beam to draw Ron's pants up into the sky, though not back into the hovercar.

"Hey!"

"You can have them back once you've helped me," Drakken said.

"Aw, c'mon," Ron whined.

"Buck up, Stoppable, what I need from you should be easy."

"What, you want me to cook something for you?"

"No, though that could be helpful since Mother is coming to dinner this weekend."

"The time card clock's ticking, Blue Boy," Ron said.

"Fine! I need your help. With women. A woman. Shego."

"You need my help? With Shego?"

"Yes, I thought I was clear about that."

"And why do you think I can help you?"

"Because if you could somehow get Kim Possible to date you, you must be some sort of romantic genius! Tell me your secret. Mind control? Personality modifications? Neural implants? How do you do it?"

"Uh, I just try to be myself, be attentive to what she wants and needs, and let her know I love her on a regular basis?"

"Oh, please," Drakken said, not impressed. "You don't seriously expect me to believe that's all it takes, do you?"

"Sorry, Blue Boy, but that's pretty much the Ronman's secret to success."

"But, but, she's Kim Possible, and I'll deny it if you ever say I said this, but she's all that, and you, you're …"

"The guy whose name you usually can't remember?"

"Yes!"

"And you don't understand why she's with me because someone like her doesn't date someone like me?"

"Yes!"

"And the Rules rule?"

"Yes!"

"No, they don't," Ron said, surprised that the explosion of insecurity he would have usually experienced at moments like this had not occurred. Confidently, he explained, "It's my Essential Ronness."

"Your what?"

"My Essential Ronness."

"Well, how do I get some of that?"

"You can't," Ron said.

"I must! Perhaps I can clone you!"

"Dude, no," Ron said with a firmness that surprised Drakken and reminded him of Shego. "You know, Ron Stoppable may not be next up to be president of the Super Genius Cerebellum Thinking Society, but I'm guessing this isn't about KP and the Rondo. It's about you and Shego. You don't think you're good enough for her, do you?"

"What do you mean? Of course I'm good enough for her! I'm a genius! A super genius!"

"Who in college built robots for dates."

"That was in the name of science!"

"And Denial is a river in South America."

"What? Denial is not a river in South America!"

"Then where is it?"

"You tell me."

"Hey, I'm not the one who claimed to be a super genius!"

"And I'm not the geographically-challenged buffoon!"

"Oh, now you're calling me names and you expect me to help you?"

"I do if you want your pants back!"

Ron fumed for a moment, then relented. "Fine. Where were we?"

Drakken came up short. "I, er, don't know. Do you?"

"Take it from the top?"

"Yes, let's do that."

"Okay, but this time, no violating my personal space …"

IV.

Kim recounted the events, including all of the awkwardness and confusion leading up to the Junior Prom, including the jealing and the annoyance, the way Bonnie had played her, and finally, the appearance of Eric and the impact it had on her friendship with Ron.

"That is just too whacked to believe."

Kim frowned. "Believe it. I still get tweaked with myself for how I treated Ron."

"Actually, that's not what I meant. You wouldn't believe how much research Drew did for that plot; I thought he'd finally lost it. He actually had scientists participating in and analyzing slumber parties so he could unravel the deep, dark secrets of the teen mind."

Kim stared at Shego, who returned her gaze. "You're serious."

"As a heart attack."

"Oy," Kim said.

"Yeah that pretty much says it all," Shego agreed with a smirk. "So, back to you and Stoppable," she continued. "Dr. D's synthoguy shows up and you basically kicked the sidekick to the curb? And they say I'm evil."

Kim looked away from Shego and stared out the window, remembering her conversation with Ron in the tree house, the one in which she had told him they'd always be tight, and grimaced. "I don't know that I'd call what I did evil," she said in a small, ashamed voice. "But it was ferociously stupid and thoughtless. I almost lost my best friend because of some hottie I'd just met."

"Cut yourself some slack, Princess. You were, what, sixteen going on seventeen? And everything worked out for you two in the end."

"So not the point, Shego."

"Then what is?"

"I wasn't able to, or maybe wouldn't let myself, see Ron as anything but my dependable best just-a-friend. He was Ron, not a guy, and most def not BF material. I let myself get caught up in Bonnie's stupid food chain and almost lost him."

"Princess, dork with a naked rat in his pocket doesn't exactly scream 'catch of the century'."

"But devoted, creative, brave, cute guy who's a spankin' cook, who always has my back and is able to keep me grounded and happy is 'catch of the century'. Then there's the fact that he's an amazing kisser."

"Okay, so maybe there's more to Stoppable than meets the eye," Shego conceded. "Why are you telling me all this?"

"Ron and I were friends for so long that we both in our own way were scared that dating would threaten what we had. But what didn't occur to either of us was that if we didn't date, we'd still be putting our relationship at risk."

"You think that may be the case for Drew and me?"

"Only you know the 411 on that Shego, but if I were you I'd give it some thought. I can tell you that asking Ron to the prom was the smartest thing I've ever done. If you and Drakken can be even a bit as happy as Ron and I are together, you'll be so set."

"You really think so?"

"I know so," Kim said before she sneaked a peek at her wrist Kimmunicator. "Look, I never thought I'd be saying this to you, but I have to jet …"

"Yeah, I know. You gotta get to a pep rally or something. Rah team, blah, blah, blah."

"I so wish," Kim said with a smirk. "First-Year Student seminar with Professor Barkin."

Shego did a double-take. "Stevie's here? Since when does he have a PhD?"

"He doesn't, so far as I know. It's his twin brother, Reeve. And he makes 'Stevie' look like a softie, so I don't want to be late for class." Kim offered a supportive smile. "If you want to talk again, call me, beep me."

"Thanks," Shego said. "And tell Monkey Boy I say hi."

"Will do," the teen hero said in response. "And good luck with Drakken, er, Drew."

Shego watched as Kim left the Student Union, then sat quietly, reflecting on the conversation just ended. Man, this is whacked, she mused. I'm falling for Drew and looking for dating advice from Kimmie. Next thing you know I'll be asking Motor Ed for fashion tips …

V.

"Dude, you gotta talk to her. Tell her how you feel."

"You want me to talk about my feelings? With Shego?"

"Hey, you saved the world. You can do this."

"Nnnngg."

"Look, you want my secret? Here it is: start crushing on her, then wait for some pretty boy to swoop in but don't tell her how you feel. Then hope you get lucky and somebody like Dementor tries to take over the world. Convince her to help you stop him and when you guys get captured and are tied up to some giant schnitzel and she realizes she's been played because the pretty boy is really some synthodrone and she's feeling blue – not that there's anything wrong with blue! – you rally her spirits and tell her you're the guy for her."

"Is that the best you can do?"

"Hey, it worked for me, though without the whole Teutonic angle."

"Perhaps you have another secret you can share?"

Ron sighed. "Skip to the last part. Take her to dinner at Chez Couteaux, man up, and tell her you're the guy for her."

"Any other advice?"

"Yeah, whatever you do, do not use a coupon book."

"But I love coupon books. They have such good deals!"

"Trust the Ronman on this. Savings or Shego. You get one, not both."

"This is going to be harder than I imagined," Drakken complained. "I have to bare my soul and spend money?!"

"Hey, sometimes you gotta stretch yourself if you want something good. Besides, aren't you mint with all the royalties from your plant potion?"

"Well, yes, but money doesn't grow on trees," Drakken protested before a ring of flower petals sprung out around his neck. "Though maybe in my case it does."

"Badical," Ron said. "Look, can I please have my pants back so I can go to work or are you going to tell me that you're going to give me back the $99 million you stole from me a couple of years ago?"

"What do you think?"

"Late shift, here I come," Ron said as he was finally able to retrieve and put back on his pants.

Drakken landed the hovercraft in the parking lot outside of Smarty Mart and Ron got out. As he headed to the store, the blue skinned scientist called after him.

"Stoppable!"

Ron turned.

"Thank you."

Ron grinned. "Hey, it's the least one fan of Snowman Hank nation can do for another!"

VI.

Tim Morrell had watched as Kim spurned Troy. He saw the humiliation and the fury on the jock's face as he stalked out of the Student Union and began to consider the situation. He was pretty sure he could suborn Troy, which would allow him to mount a field test of his research.

Kim Possible didn't know it, Tim mused, but she was about to help advance the cause of science ...

To Be Continued…