I was right: his hands were huge.

Bruno loved me… It seemed incredible to me, but I didn't care. Incredible things happened constantly in that house, what was wrong in accepting that one too?

His light mustache brushed the base of my nose, his lips took mine with passion and care at the same time, he always treats me with care; his strong grip made me feel covered and protected and, at the same time, caused me the excitement of discovering a new world. I've been clinging to him before, but… sleeping or tucking me in while I cried, his muscles were relaxed and his hug was tender and welcoming; however, at that moment, there was not a single muscle in his entire body that did not make me aware of our contact. His breath on my face, his hair falling over mine, the look he had given me…

It was a total craziness: I knew that kissing him was probably the worst decision of my life, and yet, the moment his scared and sincere eyes told me that he loved me, I couldn't do anything but let myself go. Then, after the first kiss, his gaze changed; sorrow disappeared, fear disappeared… only surprise, desire, and that immense love could I read in it. It was clear to me, whatever was about to happen, we would face it together. I wasn't going to lose him; whatever happened with the family, to that love, I was not going to give up.

"Mirabel…"

Then, why the grief back all of a sudden?

"Yes?" I answered almost panting.

"I'm sorry, Mirabel. I can't."

"What…?"

"I… I can't do this to you. I'm so sorry but... you... you have to go. This… this can't be."

"Bruno… what are you saying?"

"Tío Bruno."

"…Bruno. You said you l…"

"Yes, Mirabel, I love you. And that's all the more reason not to hurt you like that."

"Hurt me?! You know how happy you've made me?!"

Bruno lowered his head and I felt that it wasn't going to end well no matter what I did or said. I knew that look… there was aching, hurt determination in it.

"Mirabel, like it or not, I am your uncle. Do you know what that means? We could never get married, we could never have children, and we would never be accepted by the family."

"That…"

"I'm not going to be the reason you feel rejected by your family again; you've had enough of that."

"But…"

"Also, I remind you that you are a minor and that this is probably a crime."

"Then, wait for me."

"What?"

"In five years I will be considered an adult and that will no longer be a problem."

"In five years I will still be your uncle. In five years, I'll be fifty-six years old, Mirabel, for God's sake."

"I don't care fifty or a hundred, it's you who I love!"

His face changed for a second as if that had been a revelation, but soon he regained his composure and broke my soul into a thousand pieces.

"No. I'm not going to destroy your life. You have the right to be a mother, you adore children; I will not take that away from you. And you have the right to have your love blessed by God and by the community, and you have the right to enjoy a man whom you don't need to change his diapers in a few years."

"Bruno, you know my mom can…"

"You can't depend on your mother, Mirabel. I can not do it. I can't depend on making myself seem like someone I'm not anymore to feel worthy of you," he said starting to gesticulate exaggeratedly. "And I can't depend on her to heal my every ailment so that I'm not a burden to my super young woman, not wife. What do you think will happen the day your mother leaves this world? Can't you see it?! When Julieta is no longer here to heal us, you will soon lose your mother, your father, all your uncles and, I assume, by then Abuela will be gone a long time ago. Do you also want to lose your partner then?"

I had never thought about that… But he… he kept taking care of me; he kept sacrificing himself for me.

"I think I have the right to choose if that's what I want," I bluntly answered.

"But it turns out that it takes two people to make this decision, and if you don't look out for yourself, I will."

"Bruno, please… let's talk about it calmly and…"

"No. There is nothing to talk about. You have to forget about me, Mirabel. You have to find someone who can really make you happy."

"Happy?! What makes you think that I can be happy with someone other than you?!"

"You are young… You have time to heal and rebuild your life. You don't need me."

His sad smile hurt more than any of the things he had yelled at me.

"And, what about you? Who's gonna make you happy?"

"Don't worry about me, I… I'll still be just me. I am happy just knowing that you have really loved me and I will be happy seeing you build your life and enjoy what you really deserve."

"If you don't want to be with me, I don't think I have any choice but to accept it, but… don't think for a moment that this is going to make me happy."

I gripped hard the doorknob, hoping it would hold the part of my weight I didn't trust myself to be able to carry, and opened it without even looking to see if there was anyone on the other side. Tears began to flow uncontrollably and I walked out the door without having the courage to hold his gaze for another second. If he was going to reject me, why was he making that little puppy dog face? So unfair!

"Not now, not ever, do you hear me?!"

I closed behind me, slamming the door that echoed through the courtyard of the house, and looked at that man who was frowning at me in the engraving on the door; that man who had been denied the opportunity to smile… that man who, once again, had just sacrificed his own happiness.