"Yes, you are arrogant ."
"No, I am not."
"Yes you are."
"No, Marls defend me."
"Sorry James but Lily is right."
"Moony?"
"She is right, Prongs"
"Moony you are not my friend, if Padfoot was here he would have defended me. Wormtail?"
"Keep me out of it, but I guess she is right."
"Anyways if you have confidence and talent then you are not arrogant, so that's settled I am not arrogant."
"There's that arrogance"snorted Lily.
"Hey that's not corr..."
"WILL TWO OF YOU QUIT IT. I AM TRYING TO MEMORIZE ALL THE PLANTS NAME AND THEIR USES." shouted Mary. That shut their mouths.
"Sorry Mary" said Lily and James together.
"Whatever, now don't disturb me or you will have to face the wrath of my Bat-Bogey Hex" said Mary and then buried her face in her notes again.
The O. were just 20 days away and the panic among the 5th years was at its peak. The Marauders have all decided to take break from pranks and focus on studying, but only after Lily was irritated with them and has hexed the four of them with Leek jinx and they had to spent three hours in the hospital wing before the leeks were removed by Poppy.
"I thought you two were studying potions." pointed out Marls to James and Lily.
"Yeah we were." both of them sighed.
"Then why did you both start fighting?" asked Marlene. Both James and Lily have to focus hard to remember what started their fight.
"Um... we were talking about potion then charms and then we were talking about care of magical creatures," mumbled James.
"Yes and that's where our row started on what is the correct diet for unicorns." concluded Lily.
"I heard you both and I guess both the diets were correct. Its not like you can just have to follow one diet." pointed out Peter which shocked everyone.
"Hey, I may not be good at other subjects but Care of Magical Creatures, Herbology and Astronomy are my strong subjects at this time."protested Peter.
"We know mate, but its just you are not usually that confident when you talk about anything study related." said Remus.
All of them again began studying and were soon joined by Sirius who has just finished his detention.
Lily was purposely avoiding Snape since the day Marlene was attacked, she has stopped talking to him in Potions and was speaking if only required, she was avoiding his every word during potions class, and she couldn't change her seat as she was partnered with him and Slughorn usually partner up the students sitting together on the first day for the rest of the year.
Snape was trying hard to have a conversation with Lily, but she was determined to ignore him. Marlene has suggested on talking and finalizing things while Mary has advised that if she ignores him he might understand and stop talking to her. Lily liked Mary's idea as this was an easy one.
But Snape seemed determined too, he was continuously finding excuses to talk to her during potions. He was even trying to talk to her after potions too but Lily noticed that as soon as Snape noticed Mulciber, Avery, or his other Slytherin friend he stopped and left Lily. Before she used to get hurt by this behavior as though he was ashamed of her but afterward she get used to it and now she was thankful that he himself used to leave her as it made it easier for her to avoid him.
James Potter has noticed this behavior too, and to help cough impress cough Lily has offered to hex Snape for her which she has denied and has given him a threatening glare.
"Come on Evans he will not disturb you then, and it will become easy for you." James suggested. They were revising Astronomy, having finished potion earlier, they were sitting near the fireplace, Jame on a chair, and Lily on the couch, in the common room late at night which was empty except for the two of them.
"No Potter as much as I appreciate that you are trying to help, believe me I can do this and I don't want any fight." Lily shrugged. It was becoming tough to ignore Snape and each time he used to speak to her, her anger increased. "And I think I have to use Marlene's advice"
"She is great at advice, but may I ask what has she advised?"
"She says that I should talk to Severus and finalize things." sighed Lily.
"And what's the problem with that?" asked James. Lily pressed her lips together, she hasn't told even Marls and Mary about her fear. Should she tell James? She looked at him, directly into" his eyes and he was looking back. "You can tell me anything Lily I won't tell about it to anyone.. or judge you" he added. Lily nodded.
"You can even tell me if you...you know ...if..." he trailed off. Lily saw that his shoulders has all gone tense and he was looking nervous.
"If what?" asked Lily with a confused expression.
Lily observed as James gulped, took a deep breath, hold tightly the end of his shirt and closed his eyes. He then opened it and spoke, "You can tell me even if you fancy him ."
"What? ...Ugh ... No... even the thought ugh Potter ." Lily said screwing her face , this was the lost thing she wanted to hear. She looked at James who looked relaxed now.
"So you don't fancy him or...like him?" asked James.
"I like him but just as a friend, I have seen him like a brother ... ugh Potter" Lily replied
"Oh sorry. I just you know wanted to know," said James running his hand through his hair.
"It's okay, even Mary has said the same thing once. But I don't like him in that way" said Lily
"So, what's the problem in talking to him then?" asked James. He noticed as Lily's face saddened and she looked down. James couldn't stand seeing her sad, so he got up from his chair and sat beside her on the couch and without thinking placed his hands around her shoulder and relaxed when she didn't remove it.
"Please don't get sad, it hurts when you look sad. Sorry I shouldn't have asked that," said James in low voice. Lily looked up at him and feel her eyes becoming watery. She didn't know why but she let down her walls when she looked at his concerned face.
" It's just I am afraid that if I confront him, I might lose him, I am afraid that he will choose the death eaters over our old friendship, I still want to be friends with him, you know he was the one who told me about Hogwarts and introduced me to the magical world, I ignore him so that we can remain friends and slowly forget about each other but as friends, though I would want to be friends with him forever. But you know he has changed, he is no more that 10-year-old friend that I used to know. I just don't want to lose him, a part of me says that he will choose them over our friendship and this thought scares me. I am bad at feelings. I am just afraid." Lily let the tears fall.
James remained silent for a few moments then finally said "You are the bravest girl I have ever seen. And I know you can't be afraid of anything. You are a Gryffindor. And you have a golden heart that doesn't want to lose a friend." Lily continued looking at him. James paused for a moment his brows furrowed as he thought, he then took a deep breath and looked at her "You know that I hate Snape, but I will say that if Snape really knows you then he will surely choose your friendship over them, over the death eaters. I know this because anyone who knows you, who truly knows you will choose you over anything because I will. Anytime and over anything I will each and every time choose you." Lily smiled at him and before she know she rose her head and kissed him on his lips.
James froze from the shock but then recovered and kissed her back.
It lasted for how long none of them has any idea that it lasted for seconds, hours, days or weeks. When they broke the kiss, both were breathing heavily to catch their breathes. They looked at each other again and both of them blushed.
"Sorry" Lily mumbled but she has a small smile.
"Was I a bad kisser that you are sorry?" asked James worriedly.
"No ... I mean you are a good kisser , really good, its just...its..." she stuttered.
"It's okay you were really good too." said James whose face has gone red and Lily blushed.
"So, I ... um ... want to thank you for your talk." said Lily, she has become nervous
"Welcome. And we don't have to tell anyone about it if you don't want, so don't get tensed. Okay? I will not tell anyone about anything that happened today." assured James and Lily relaxed.
"Thanks, it's just it's a lot of pressure, you know O. and other stuff, I just hope things don't become awkward between us." said Lily.
"No, don't worry things will not get awkward and it was just one kiss." said James.
"Yeah, so we are good?"
"Yes"
"So let's finish our Astronomy and then we will call it a day," said James and Lily nodded. They both studied for another 30 minutes normally, though both kept stealing glances at each other. They hadn't said it to one another but they just had the best kiss of their life.
The next day the girls were already at breakfast, talking about how much they have prepared for O. by the time the boys joined them.
"I think I need to practice the Human-presence-revealing Spell more." Marlene was saying.
"I have revised everything, only Astronomy was left which I completed last night." Lily said happily.
Sirius sat opposite to Lily and James beside him, Lily's heart beat fastened as she remembered last night. "So you liked it last night?" asked Sirius to Lily.
"Yeah..." said Lily dreamily then came to her senses and looked at James. "You told him ?" asked Lily.
James looked confused than understood " No, I didn't tell him anything, what are you talking about Padfoot ?"
"Astronomy, you suck at explaining Astronomy to us, and Lily here looks happy as though she had understood it." said Sirius.
"Ohh, actually I didn't help her instead she helped me with all the charts. " said James.
"We all knew that you were both studying and fighting at astronomy, that's why we all left. Then why you were so shocked. Definitely something happened tell." said Marlene. Lily has gone red and was now focusing on her food.
" Actually Lily has written about her childhood crush on her book and I found it." James covered up. Lily glared at James who just smiled.
"Oooh who is it ?" asked Mary. Now Lily was looking at what would James answer be.
"John Lennon" said James and Lily relaxed and gave James a thankful look.
"Oh he is mine too" said Mary.
"Who is he by the way?" asked Sirius.
"Padfoot you should try other genres aside from punk, then you would know that John Lennon is one of the best singer, he was a member of the beatles." said James
"Nah I am good with punk, other genres are not of my taste." replied Sirius.
"Marlene I am going to follow your advice now." said Lily.
"All the best then." Marls smiled.
"Show that you are a Gryffindor, Evans" James said.
"Hope for the best and prepare for the worst" Mary added.
"Thanks" smiled Lily.
"What are you all talking about?" asked Peter.
"Nothing Pete." said Mary.
"Hey Moony can you help me with DADA?" asked Peter who nodded.
"Sure, it will help me revise too. How about in the break after potions class?" asked Remus.
"Fine with me" replied Peter.
The first class was transfiguration , teachers were now focusing on revising important topics, Minnie was giving revision of Animagus transfiguration which the Marauders enjoyed very much.
The second class was double Potions, Slughorn was telling them about uses of Scurvy grass and Slamander blood for first hour then asked them to brew the Deflating Draught. Lily focused on her potion while making up her mind for the talk with Severus.
"Lily what has happened ?, you are ignoring me all the time and you hardly speak to me these days." whispered Snape.
"We will talk after the class" Lily replied.
"But you are surrounded by them as soon as you leave the class." Snape jerked his head towards Mary and Marlene.
"I said we will talk after the class, okay?" said Lily and Snape nodded.
After the potion Lily moved out of the class with others and was standing in the corridors outside the class in dungeon. Snape approached Lily, Marls and Mary were standing next to her.
"I will meet you both later" Lily said to the girls they nodded and left. Lily took a deep breath and said to Sev "Yeah so now let's talk."
Snape opened his mouth to speak but closed it as he saw Mulciber and Avery were still there. "Not here let's go out" he said slowly barely opening his mouth. Lily saw him looking at Avery and Mulciber, this made Lily angry. She started walking towards the castle courtyard, Snape caught up with her by the time she reached the courtyard, there were only a few fifth years and third years who had just finished their classes.
Lily saw Snape now walking next to her "So, you can talk to me as your pals are not here, now you are not ashamed of me? Why?"
"What?... no ... it's just ... and you were the one who was ignoring me all this time , is something wrong?" Lily's anger rose as Snape ignored the question.
"No nothing is wrong everything is wonderful," said Lily sarcastically.
" First you were not speaking to me at all and now when you are talking you are all angry."
"Wonder why" muttered Lily, she took a deep breath. "A lot is happening around Sev, I think you might know about them."
"I know a lot is happening but what has all of that got to do with us? You don't talk to me, you ignore me. You are always with those two girls or with Potter and his gang." argued Snape.
"It's your fault that we don't talk, it's your fault that our friendship is falling apart." snapped Lily.
"Tell me how it's my fault, tell me what has happened, and why is our friendship breaking apart, you should tell me , I thought we were supposed to be friends? Best Friends?" Snape added hopefully, Lily took a deep breathe to calm her mind.
"We are, Sev, but I don't like some of the people you're hanging round with! I'm sorry but I detest Avery and Mulciber! Mulciber! What do you see in him, Sev, he's creepy! D'you know what he tried to do Mary Macdonald the other day?" Lily asked, she knew Snape was there but thought of not speaking of that. She leaned against a pillar looking into Snape's thin, sallow face wondering if he would admit that he was there.
"That was nothing," said Snape. "It was a laugh, that's all..."
Lily's anger started rising again "It was Dark Magic, and if you think that's funny -" but before she could complete her sentence, he cut her.
"What about the stuff Potter and his mates get up to?" demanded color rose as he said it. Oh great! now he is bringing the marauders into it, like always. She now came to think that most of her recent conversation has revolved around Snape complaining and insulting about James Potter
"What's Potter got to with anything?" said Lily.
"They sneak out at night. There's something weird about that Lupin. Where does he keep going?" asked Snape. So, now he will use Remus' weakness to strike the marauders.
"He's ill" said Lily. "They say he's ill..." Lily wanted to stop Snape from talking about Remus.
"Every month at the full moon?" said Snape. Lily couldn't believe Snape knew he was going to break his promise to Dumbledore so that he could demean Remus. Lily couldn't stand this, so she strike at what she knew would shut him up. She couldn't believe even after that night's events Snape can go so down and talk about Remus' condition.
"I know your theory," said Lily, and she sounded cold. "Why are you so obsessed with them anyway? Why do you care what they're doing at night?"
"I'm just trying to show you they're not as wonderful as everyone seems to think they are." 'Wonderful' the word reminded her about last night's wonderful kiss she had with James.
She blushed at that thought and found Snape staring at her and she was brought to the present, the thought of James reminded her of something
"They don't use Dark Magic, though." Lily dropped her voice. This was the right time to stop Snape from talking about James and Remus' condition, but she didn't had promised Dumbledore that she will not tell anyone that she was there. "And you're being really ungrateful. I heard what happened the other night. You went sneaking down the tunnel by the Whomping Willow, and James Potter saved you from whatever's down there..."
Snape's face contorted and he spluttered, "Saved? Saved? You think he was playing the hero? He was saving his neck and his friend's too! You're not going to ... I won't let you..."
Lily's anger rose to its peak, Snape was being ungrateful and denying that James has saved his life by risking his life,Lily could clearly see that Snape was blinded by his hatred and Jealousy towards James. And now he was trying to control her life.
Lily's bright eyes were slits, "Let me? Let me?"
Snape saw the anger in those eyes, he started suspecting that Lily has started liking Potter, every time Snape saw her talking to James there was a different look and glee on her face. Snape can't let that happen. He has to stop it. Lily can't be with Potter, his enemy, Potter who believes the whole world revolves around him, who believes he can have everything. Snape can't let Potter have Lily.
"I didn't mean ... I just don't want to see you made a fool of... He fancies you, James Potter fancies you!" He spoke with great effort. "And he's not ... everyone thinks ... big quidditch hero..."
Lily clearly noticed the bitterness and dislike for James in Snape's voice, this only made her more angry, Snape was ignoring the point of the talk and was bringing James each time, she didn't know how much more she could handle it.
Lily's jaws tightened "I know James Potter's an arrogant toerag," she said cutting across Snape. "I don't need you to tell me that. But Mulciber's and Avery's idea of humor is evil. Evil, Sev. I dont understand how can you be friends with them." Lily was so full of anger now, that her body was shaking with it, she walked to calm herself a bit before speaking again, Snape was following her and not speaking anything.
She took a few steps and then turned to face Snape. "Am I your friend?" asked Lily. Snape froze suddenly.
"Yes, yes you are," he said.
"And you want to continue our friendship?" Lily said.
"Yes, why would you ask that?" asked Snape.
Lily looked around to make sure no one was around them and she dropped her voice. "You were there on the day Marlene and Sirius were attacked, they used your spell to do that thing to Marlene, and if MacGonagall hasn't arrived there you all would have ... you all would have proceeded to the things. And you were there, you didn't stop them. You let them do that thing."
Snape's face fell, he looked at the floor and didn't speak anything. Lily felt hurt at his silence and converted the hurt into anger. She waited for a minute for Snape to speak but he didn't. So Lily continued to do the hardest part.
" I will put forward two choices in front of you and you will have to choose one," said Lily, founding her Gryffindor bravery.
Snape looked up at her "Choices? What choices?"
Lily took a deep breath " Either you continue being my friend and leave the friendship of Mulciber, Avery, and others or you continue your friendship with them and finish the friendship with me."
Snape's face saddened his heart split into two "I ... I can't do that. I cant choose. Lily you know I can't, they are powerful people."
"You can, you have a choice and they are not powerful they are just evil, all of their families are you know who's supporters and they all want to become a death eaters." snapped Lily.
"The Dark Lord's power is growing and those who are ignoring it are foolish. I can't leave them they are all powerful." protested Snape and Lily knew where the conversation was heading.
"You are being a coward, look at Sirius Black he has left his entire family because he knows what's right," shouted Lily.
"I am not a coward," said Snape his voice rising.
"Then prove it and choose. Make your choice because I can't be friends with someone who believes in death-eaters and supports them. They all use dark spells and.."
Snape was desperate now , he had to show Lily the powers. "Wait Lily just see this and then you will understand the powers, please see." there was desperation and a hint of excitement in his voice.
Snape was confident that once Lily saw the powers he had and the skills he had, she will understand and continue their friendship, she will praise him for that.
"I don't want to see anything you just choose or I ..." Lily was cut by Snape again.
"Please Lily just see, I am showing this to you first, I have never shown it to anyone, I have created it." said Snape, and Lily waited.
Snape pointed his wand at a pigeon on the ground.
"Sectumsempra" said Snape and the pigeon fell to it's side crying in pain, there was gash and blood started coming out from it. Lily shrieked and ran to the bird.
"You fucking git you killed it, he will die." cried Lily bending on her knees near the bird not able to touch it in fear of hurting it.
Snape hasn't expected this, he now thought how foolish he was.
"I can heal it, I have made a counter curse" he said running to the pigeon.
He pointed his wand at the pigeon again.
"Vulnera Sanentur," said Snape thrice and the blood flow ceased and the wounds sealed.
The bird stopped crying but was still struggling to move.
"Lily see it recovered, it's just..."
SMACK! Lily slapped Snape across the face with all the strength she could muster.
Lily picked up the bird with gentle hands and rose to go to the hospital wing, walking as fast as she could. Snape tried to follow her.
"Lily listen please, I was just..." Snape was saying.
"Don't call me Lily, you are no longer my friend, you have made your choice to be among the death eaters." bellowed Lily. Snape just stood frozen to his spot.
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