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Chapter 23: Back to School
I.
"Wade?" Kim said groggily when she saw the image of her tech guru appear on her wrist Kimmunicator; after the sitch with Ron, she wasn't going to be caught without it again. "Do you know—"
"Kim, sorry to wake you, but you'd better get on-line."
Her friend's uneasy expression and the sense of urgency in his voice quickly roused her from her sleepy state. "Please don't tell me Lynn's back in business."
"No," Wade said. "But apparently she's not the only gossip queen on the Internet."
"Great," Kim sighed. "Do we know who's dishing the dirt?"
"Not yet. It's all 'unnamed sources' and 'people close to the situation'."
"Spankin'," Kim groused.
"I'll let you know as soon as I learn anything more."
"Thanks, Wade, you rock."
Fern had woken up and turned on the lights. "Problem?"
"Understatement much?" Kim sighed. "Sorry to wake you. You so shouldn't have to deal with this."
Fern snorted. "Remember why we're roommates?"
"You were willing to put up with unannounced appearances by bad guys," Kim answered.
"And you pick up after yourself," Fern said with a grin. "Once the Housing Office figured out who my brother was and they asked me if I'd be willing to live with you, I said, sure, why not? I thought it could be fun living with a hero who didn't have an enormous ego. You haven't disappointed yet!"
"You're something else," Kim said appreciatively. "Could I trouble you to get my laptop? I so don't need to crash out of bed right now."
Fern hopped out of her bed, grabbed Kim's computer from the desk, and handed it to her. A few moments later, the machine was on, her browser was open. Kim typed her name into the search engine. Moments later her jaw clenched as she balled her fists in fury.
II.
"KB?"
"Sorry to wake you, Ron, but things have just gone from bad to way worse."
"Otay, whad up?"
Kim told her what she'd seen on the web.
"Man, you'b tink dese peoble would geb a clue," Ron said.
"Well, I am famous," she sighed. "I guess now that I'm in college and supposedly an adult, I'm fair game."
"KB, I took down Lynn on libe TB!"
"I know," Kim said, feeling flustered. "You'd have thought somebody would get the message. Apparently, they're not paying attention or they don't care."
"Zo, what do you want to do?" Ron asked.
"Wade's looking into things. What I want is some Ronshine. Now," Kim said before she sighed. "But let's stick to our plan. You still up for coming here later today?"
"Ready and—Ah-choo!—willing, KB!" Ron said, mustering as much energy as he could.
III.
"Possible, we need to talk."
Kim had been cautiously making her way across the main quad, only tripping three times, falling once, and stumbling into other students twice as she headed to her first class of the day when she heard the familiar, booming voice and turned to see the imposing figure of Reeve Barkin. Something told her she was about to learn of yet another position he held at the University. "Of course, Professor Barkin. What's the sitch?"
"This," he said, holding up a copy of the Athens Examiner. Featured on the front page was a picture of Kim taking a pratfall and the headline, "The Girl Who Can Party Anywhere? Questions Asked About Teen Hero at Llenrock."
Kim seethed. She knew about the story from the web, but seeing the paper in the hands of one of her teachers was infuriating. Still, she knew she had to keep calm and stay in control. "Yes?"
"I'm going to assume that there is more to the story than the paper is suggesting."
"Or less, sir," Kim answered calmly. "I was so not partying."
"You have an explanation?"
Kim sighed. "Working on it, but not yet, though it looks like someone's out to trash my rep."
"That's a theory," Barkin said.
"And given my run-in with Lynn Accurate last summer, a good one, I think."
Barkin nodded. "It would take you out of the hero business, at least limit your effectiveness."
"I'm going to guess that you and Mr. Barkin have spoken," Kim said. "You know that interesting things sometimes happen to me. I guess it's just part of saving the world."
Barkin snorted. "Oh, he warned me. I'm just hoping that this doesn't wind up with me getting any unwanted genetic mutations."
"Same here, Professor," Kim said with a grin. "I can't give you the 411 now, but I promise you, I haven't done anything to break the Honor Code."
Barkin considered what Kim said, what his brother had told him, and what he'd learned about the young woman before him, both in class and through his research. "I believe you. But I have to tell you that as Acting Associate Dean of Students, I'm going to be keeping a close eye on this situation. Don't make me regret trusting you."
"I won't," she said. "See you in class!"
IV.
"You guyz zure about dis?" Ron asked.
"I've got my cape," Mr. Stoppable said. Ron wanted to protest but recalled it was his father who had given his car to the Tweebs so they could work their tween genius magic and provide him with an awesome set of wheels. Gratitude won out over self-respect.
"And I've got toys and Flippies DVDs for Hana," Mrs. Stoppable added.
"Then id lookz like family road trip time," Ron said just before the doorbell rang.
Mr. Stoppable opened the door. "Ann!" he said. "What a pleasant surprise."
"May I come in?"
"Of course," Mrs. Stoppable said.
"Kimmie told me that Ron was going to Llenrock to see her. I'm guessing you're about to leave," she offered. When everyone nodded, she smiled. "I'd like to go, too. I was able to reschedule a procedure and I've spoken to some colleagues at the Medical School and they said they'll have everything ready for me to examine her."
"Oh, I'm so glad you can come," Mrs. Stoppable said. "Maybe you can do something about Ronnie's cold, too."
"I'll try but I'm a brain surgeon, not a miracle worker," Ann replied, with a wry grin.
The bell rang again. This time Ron went to see who was calling. He was surprised when he opened the door.
"Mr. B?"
"Sources tell me there's a field operation that's about to go down. I'm locked and loaded and ready to deploy." The look of anticipation on his face was disturbing.
Ron rubbed the back of his neck. "Uh, what if I tell you it'z gonna be kinda crowded?"
"Will it be as bad as the mob at last Thanksgiving's Smarty Mart Black Friday Brainstorm Blowout?"
Ron thought about that. "Dat's a trick question, izn't it?"
Barkin responded by clasping his beefy hand on Ron's shoulder. "Glad to see you're finally using your brain, Stoppable."
"Uh, yeah … hey, wait a minute!"
"Ah, man, I love the smell of napalm in the morning," Barkin said ignoring Ron's protests. The man seemed to be lost in a world of his own.
"Napalm?!"
He then he pulled Ron into a manly embrace. "And just think, Stoppable. We not only get to go into combat—we'll also have time to go over your assignments en route!"
V.
"Possible."
Kim stifled a groan. She had almost made it to her lecture. The voice she was hearing as she was about to gingerly climb the steps to the classroom building was about as unwelcome as an unannounced visit during a dinner date with Ron at Chez Couteaux from Warmonga, Adrena Lynn, and Camille Leon.
"Oh, hi, Samantha," she said as warmly as she could.
"I don't know what's going on with you, but I think you need to take a break from the squad."
"Excuse me?" a surprised Kim said.
"Unless you've experienced some kind of magical recovery — and watching you stumble your way here, I doubt you have — you're in no condition to do any routines and, frankly, would be an embarrassment to the Squad, not to mention me. I'm filling your spot before we leave for Go City this afternoon."
Kim drew on all of her martial arts training to control her breathing — and to refrain from showing Samantha the joys of kung fu. She knew she could clock her classmate, even in her current condition. "Well, you're the captain. It's your call."
"Yes, it is," Samantha said imperiously as she turned to leave. As she walked away, she looked over her shoulder. "You think you're all that, Kim. But you're not. You're just a washed up teen hero. Sad."
VI.
"And she. Why that. I mean. Can you believe?" an enraged Kim sputtered into the Kimmunicator.
"Otay, KB, tage a deep breath," Ron counseled.
"Don't 'deep breath' me Ron! She, she, she …"
"Kicked you off de squad," he said flatly.
"Yes! This is so the drama!"
"Nah, nob really," he said, he said calmly.
"Excuse me?"
"KB, Sabanda iz juzt a two-bid villain wannabe. Diz iz de part of the mizzion where we're tied ub. Zoon, you'll ged free and show her why you don' mezz wib Kib Pozzible."
Kim felt herself relaxing and smiled. "Thanks for the perspective."
Ron grinned and shrugged. "Hey, it'z not like she wuz tellin' you you couldn' go to Bueno Nacho."
"Glad to see you know what's important," Kim said with a smirk before her expression softened, "And, that you're not sneezing as much."
"Mebbe de Stoppable Fortrezz of Immunity iz bein' rebuilt az we speak!" he said enthusiastically. Then he succumbed to an epic sneezing jag and sighed. "Or, mebbe not."
VII.
Kim sat at the back of the hall, alone. She had inadvertently tripped one classmate and elbowed another in the gut as she entered the lecture hall and now they were giving her a wide berth. Given how frustrated she was feeling, she was grateful for the satisfaction she derived from being the only one in the class, the instructor included, who actually knew what it was like to be at a meeting of the United Nations Security Council, which was the focus of the day's class.
"Ms. Possible?"
"Yes, Professor," she said to her teacher.
"I believe that you have actually personal experience of UN proceedings?"
"Well, there was one mission..." she said. While she was proud of what she did, she didn't want special treatment.
One of Kim's classmates raised her hand.
"Yes, Ms. Paine?"
The young woman, who was sporting a Goth look that didn't quite jibe with her given name of Tiffany, wore an expression of disdain, sniffed in Kim's direction, and then spoke. "I remember that so-called mission. Your sidekick dropped his pants, showing, like, total disrespect to the global community."
Eyes darted back and forth between Kim and Brittany. The assembled students anticipated fireworks.
"Ms. Possible, would you care to comment?"
Their instructor, apparently, did not want to disappoint them.
"First off, Ron is my partner, not my sidekick. Second, he didn't drop his pants, he, uh, well, lost them …"
"And the difference is?"
"You're accusing him of being rude which is so flawed. What happened with his pants, well, it's hard to explain, but it most def wasn't on purpose. And it was so not the drama. They did adopt a casual dress code after we left, after all."
Paine rolled her eyes. "Probably because your spymasters told them to do so or they'd be killed."
Kim looked at her classmate with disbelief. "What are you talking about?"
"Oh, come on, Possible. Everyone knows you work for the government. Though given what's going on with you now, you probably did something to tick off your handlers who must have launched some revenge operation against you," Paine said. She paused, then added, "Unless the rumors are true and you really have hit the frat party circuit. How's the beer?"
"Ms. Paine …" the instructor said in warning.
"I thought this was Intro to International Relations, not Creative Writing 101," Kim snorted.
"So you're denying you're part of a military black ops secret warfare unit."
"Finally, you're making sense," she said while she rolled her eyes.
Another hand went up, belonging to a somewhat portly young man with the unfortunate name of Slim Chance. "Professor, I have to agree with Kim about what Brittany is saying…"
"Thanks," Kim said with gratitude.
"… It's common knowledge that she was abducted by the Lorwardians last spring. Whatever is going on now is clearly the result of her captivity, probably something involving neural probes, if I'm correct. Which, I'll note, is usually the case."
The instructor sighed. "Ms. Possible, any comment?"
"That is so many flavors of wrong," Kim snapped. "For your information, I was free about five minutes after arriving on that ship!"
"Thanks to whatever contraband government technology you had," Paine snarked. "Or maybe you agreed to sell out to the aliens. Traitor."
Kim rolled her eyes again as another hand went up.
"Yes, Ms. Williams?"
All eyes turned to the lanky young African-American woman with dark, tousled hair, fiery eyes, and a nose stud. "Am I really paying fifty thousand a year to sit through this? With all due respect to Tiffany and Slim, you guys need to get real. I, for one, would rather hear what Kim has to dish about the UN."
VIII.
Ron's parents and Kim's mother, who were riding in the front bench seat of the Kimminator, listened in amazement as Ron and Steve Barkin engaged in what might have been charitably described as a very heated discussion over his English History assignment. Hana, fascinated, watched from her perch between the Smarty Mart colleagues while Rufus read the latest issue of FinanceDay.
"'I was there', isn't going to cut the mustard, Stoppable," Barkin groused. "You need citations, evidence."
"Bud I wuz dere!" Ron protested. "I pulled the sword oudda da stone!"
"Did you take a picture?" Barkin asked. "Bring back proof?"
"Uh, no, I wuz, uh, worryin' dat KB wuz gonna kill me for messin' wid da time stream."
"A reasonable fear," Barkin conceded. "But no photo, no credit."
"Man, dat tankz," Ron complained.
"Buck up," Barkin said. "This is otherwise, as much as I hate to admit it, a good essay."
"For reals?"
"Yes. Now start revising this section while your sister and I do some Flippin'," Barkin said as he opened up the portable DVD player much to Hana's delight.
"Aw, I wanna watch da Flippies," Ron complained.
"As much as you want to go to school with Possible next year?"
Ron didn't take long to answer. "Wewite Zity, here I come," he sighed.
IX.
The class over, Kim gathered her materials and put them into her backpack. She wasn't looking forward to what was sure to be a stumble-filled and accident-laden trek across the quad to her next lecture but she wasn't about to let her current sitch stop her from attending class. As she rose to get up she saw Brandi Williams approaching her.
"Thanks for the save," Kim said.
Brandi shrugged. "No problem," she said. "They were being jerks and, honestly, I was kind of interested in hearing about what went down at the Security Council. That was really impressive."
"It was no big, really," Kim said modestly.
Brandi cocked an eyebrow but then smiled. "Look, you need help getting to your next class?"
"No, I'll be fine, but thanks."
"Okay," Williams said. "Hey, maybe we could grab some lunch later?"
Kim looked at Brandi, then smiled. "Sounds spankin'!"
X.
"Where should we park, Ann?" Mr. Stoppable asked.
"Right there," she said, pointing to the access road in front of Kim's dorm.
After Mr. Stoppable did as instructed everyone tumbled out of the car. "I'd bedder led KB know we're here," Ron said. He pulled out his Kimmunicator and dialed.
"Hi Ron!" she answered with a huge smile.
"Hey, KB," Ron said.
"Where are you?"
"In fron' ob your buildin'."
"Really? You're early!"
"I hobe thad nod a problem."
"No, I'll be right over! See you in a few!"
A short while later, the visitors saw Kim approach; she was being helped by Brandi. Ron gulped. He knew he shouldn't be jealous, but seeing Kim's classmate made him distinctly uncomfortable. The laughter and easy camaraderie between the two stoked his suddenly resurgent insecurities.
That Ron had really nothing to worry about was confirmed a moment later when her gaze turned from her friend to him. Her eyes lit up, she broke away from her companion, and ran toward him – or at least tried to. She slipped, regained her footing, then tripped again. Ron bolted to her to help her get up.
"You otay, KB?" he asked, not quite succeeding at hiding his panic.
"I am now," she said. Before he knew it, he was wrapped in a bear hug and she was giving him a five-alarm Diablo sauce kiss. When she was done, she looked into his eyes. "I've so missed this."
"This does beel good," a goofily grinning Ron agreed before his expression turned to one of concern. "Hey, are'n' you worried 'bout gedding my cole?"
Kim, her arms still draped around Ron's neck, smirked. "So not concerned," she said before she kissed him again.
Watching with bemused smiles were their families and Brandi and, uncomfortably since he wasn't in a position to give anyone detention for PDA, Mr. Barkin.
Kim finally pulled back a bit, though she still held onto Ron. "Hi Mom! Hi Mr. and Mrs. S."
"Sister!" Hana exclaimed as she ran to Kim.
"Oh, Hana!" Kim said as she finally let go of Ron so she could embrace the little girl.
"Uh, hi," Brandi said as he approached the reunion.
"Oh, Brandi, my bad," Kim said. "Ron, Mom, Mr. and Mrs. S, this is my classmate, Brandi. Brandi this is my BF, my mom and Ron's family. And … Mr. Barkin?"
"Nice to meet you," Ron said, his insecurities reined in by the hug, kiss, and Kim's introduction of him as her boyfriend.
"Same here," Brandi said, exchanging a knowing grin with Kim, who stifled a giggle.
"Okay, there's a loop here and I'm not in it, am I?" Ron said, his insecurities perking up.
Kim laughed. "I'll fill you in later. But trust me. It's so not the drama."
"Hey, I should be going," Brandi said. "Ron, nice meeting you. Kim, see you around."
Kim thanked Brandi for helping her get back to her dorm, who then turned and wandered off while the Middleton contingent turned its attention to the teen hero-turned-college freshman.
"Thanks for coming, guys," she said as she took Ron's hand in hers.
"So, whad do you wan' a do?" Ron asked.
"Figure out this sitch," she answered with determination. Then, looking into Ron's eyes and holding his hands she said. "And with you here …"
"… De bad guyz are goin' down?" Ron asked hopefully.
"And hard," Kim with the confidence that comes from experience.
To Be Continued …