A TRUE FRIEND IS SOMEONE WHO SEES THE PAIN IN YOUR EYES WHILE EVERYONE BELIEVES THE SMILE ON YOUR FACE.
Lily didn't know where her legs took her, she was angry and hurt, it didn't hurt this much when Snape has chosen Avery and Mulciber's friendship, but she thought that he still values her and that he will comeback to right side and they will be friends again. But she hadn't thought in her dream that Snape, the Snape who once said that being a muggle-born doesn't matter has just insulted her. He has proved that blood status values . He had said that she belong in the Wizarding world but now has just insulted her by saying the name that people use to point out to someone that doesn't belongs to this world. She felt her heart break into pieces.
Is this how life is? Her sister calls her 'freak' and says she doesn't belong to muggle world and now her 'best-friend' sorry 'ex-best friend' has just pointed out that she doesn't belong in magical world. So, where does she belong? She has no answer.
She has been called 'mudblood' before but it didn't hurt as much as it hurt when coming from his ' ex-best friend'.
Lily just sat there but not crying, just sitting , she closed her eyes.
There was some noise behind her, but she didn't turn. Someone sat beside her, she could feel the warmth, but she didn't open her eyes.
" I crossed the line." said a low shaky voice and then silence fell.
After 30 minutes Potter was still there, Lily spoke angrily, "What do you want Potter?"
" I want you to speak to me," he replied in soft voice.
"I don't want to talk to you ever." she spat, her eyes still closed.
"Please Lily, you know, I wanted to just warn them, please listen to me." he pleaded, Lily noticed there was a pain in his voice, was he crying? why? It was his mistake.
"I don't want to listen to you ever. Leave me alone," she shouted. " Do you even have the slightest idea what have you done today? You were going to go to fall to the level of Mulciber and Avery, and why just give them a warning, are you out of your mind? Do you think that doing that and that too in a public place will be good? Then you are wrong that was the most foolish thing you have ever done. I know what they did and I know Snape was as much guilty as them but does that mean you had to do the same thing?
"Don't you see Potter, that your way of dealing with things is wrong? When will you grow up? You have to understand that just because you can punish people, it doesn't mean you have to, there are other ways to deal with them. Doing pranks and having fun is one thing but hexing people, bullying others, and humiliating others is the worst thing. But you don't see that, because you are arrogant. All these things you do is immature." her voice echoed throughout the place. She took a deep breath and continued.
" You are a good person, I have seen that inside you but you just ... blow it away with doing these things. You should really think about all the things you do in public. You know what I thought that we were friends, we were going so close together and then today you had to do all those stupid things, Why? You should think more before jumping in and doing things." she said and took another deep breath.
"Now you should leave. I don't want to talk to you again" She said angrily.
"Okay, I will never talk to you again, if you will just talk to me now, then I will never disturb you ever, I promise you that if you will say so I will not disturb you ever, but just talk to me and listen to me, now," said James in a soft voice. Lily was silent, has he really said so? James Potter who always annoys her irritates her and asks her out was ready to stop talking to her.
"Lily, I know I crossed the line, I should not have gone that far, I was just very angry at him for all the things, especially that day seeing Marlene so broken in the hospital wing, that thing was in my mind and I lost control."
"If I could go back in time I would have stopped myself, but a part of me tells me he deserves to know how it feels to be done that to himself. I know I did wrong, I shouldn't have provoked him, but I was just so angry at him that I made the mistake." He paused for a moment.
"I am sorry that I made you sick, I am sorry for everything that I did, but I promise you, Lily, I will change from now, I promise I will never bully anyone and will try to prevent hexing others as much as I can. I am sorry for being arrogant, I am sorry that you have to face all that and I am sorry that you have to hear that word, Lily I am really sorry. If I could stop him from saying that I would, I am sorry that I provoked him into saying that.
"I promise you Lily that I will change and stop doing everything that makes you hate me." He finished.
James sat there for a minute more and then sighed and stood to leave.
Lily felt the warmth leaving her, she didn't know what to do, she just followed her instincts.
"Wait, don't leave me," she said in a thick voice. James sat again. Lily was silent her eyes still closed.
They were silent for five minutes, then Lily spoke, "You called me Lily." James didn't speak, she opened her eyes, which were watery now.
She looked at James' who was looking at her, his eyes were red, his face was white, he still had a deep cut on the side of his face, blood flow had stopped, but his right cheek still had dried blood, his robes was covered in the blood.
"You are hurt." she said touching his cheek, he winced slightly "Sorry". She took out her wand and cleaned his face and with a few healing spells, the cut closed slightly. Lily was thankful that Snape wasn't able to use the spell properly.
"Thanks," James said slowly.
"I don't hate you, James, it's just some part of you that I don't like," Lily said. "Like you bullying and hexing others, especially Snape, he was my friend.
" I was angry when I saw you bullying him and then I became angrier and was hurt when he called me 'Mudblood'. and I let out my anger and pain on you."
"Please don't use that word." requested James.
"It doesn't matter to me, I am proud of my birth," Lily replied.
"Yeah I know but please don't use that word ever again, it matters to me and it hurts me to hear that," said James.
"But you are pureblood," Lily asked confusedly. It was odd he really looked in pain when she used that word but why?
"It doesn't matter that I am pureblood, but that word brings bad memories," said James, he saw Lily looking at him for more. "I will tell you later, for now, let's talk about what you are feeling. I know you are hurt, let it out it will help."
"I... I never dreamed he would say that, I was foolish not to be expecting it, our friendship had already broken, but when he said that it broke my heart. He had said that it never matters whether I'm a muggle-born or not, I belong here, but now he said the worst thing anyone could say me to show me that I don't belong here, and my sister says that I don't belong there, now I don't know where I belong, I am now an outsider in both the worlds. I just don't know." she said, first tears fell from her eyes.
James hesitated first but then enveloped her in a hug, she leaned into him, letting his warmth in.
"You belong here Lily, you belong in both worlds, we all love you, Lily, don't let his words get into your head. You belong here," said James. "Never ever think that you don't belong here."
"Thanks, it means a lot," said Lily. " Sorry I said that you are like him and other things, I don't really remember what I said."
"Don't say sorry you were angry and I needed that, someone needed to hit my big head to bring me to the ground, so thank you for that. You made me realize that I was wrong in my actions, Lily, you showed me the mirror and made me realize my mistakes. I promise you Lily that I will improve myself." said James.
"I know you will James," said Lily. "Though don't change the one where you run your fingers through your hair, I like that."
"I knew that," chuckled James, and Lily laughed. She sighed and held James.
" What happened when I left?" asked Lily after a few minutes.
"Well I warned Snape not to come near Marlene and my friends ... and then Marlene came and hit him for insulting you," said James, Lily laughed again.
"Well that's sort of thing Marls would do," she said laughing.
"Yeah, that's Marlene." James chuckled.
They sat in silence and after some time Lily fell asleep, her head resting on James' chest. When he found that Lily was asleep, he took out his wand conjured a block behind his back, and leaned on it.
The sun was setting in west, the sky had started turning dark, there were still patches of redness, the birds were returning to their nests.
"Lily, wake up, we need to get back, it's getting dark." said James, shaking Lily slightly. She opened her eyes, she felt calm, she was slightly shocked at waking in middle of forest in James' arm than afternoon's event came to her mind.
"Oh! sorry, I didn't realize that I fell asleep, how long was I asleep?" asked Lily.
"I fell asleep too as well, let me check." he looked at his watch "It's 6:30, so for about 2 and a half hours."
Lily stood up and straightened her clothes. Dinner will start at 7, she was feeling hungry after missing lunch. James was thinking the same.
"You hungry? Let's go to the Great Hall, by the time will reach there dinner will start," he said.
"Umm ... I am hungry but I don't want to go in the middle of everyone yet, you know after the afternoon's event," she said.
"Yeah, well, we can't stay here. Wait, I have an idea. We will take our food from the kitchen then will go to a spot where we won't have to face everyone or anyone." said James.
"Okay, let's go," said Lily.
"So, we can continue talking, eh? You know what we said earlier," asked James.
"Yes, James we can continue talking as long as you call me Lily and..."
"And what?"
"You stop annoying me and ask me out everytime." said Lily, smiling.
"But you love it when I annoy you and about that asking you out I have fallen in a habit to ask you out everytime, but I bet you love that too." said James grinning.
"No, I don't like that" protested Lily.
"Yes, you do."
"No"
"Okay, but now you will accept" and he started tickling her, Lily laughed and fell to the ground.
"Stop ... James ... please ..." she said between laughs.
"Then say that you like it," James said.
"Okay ... yes ... I ... like it," she said panting. James offered her a hand and she took it and cleaned and straightened her clothes. " Don't do that again." but she was grinning.
When they reached the castle it was empty as all the students were at dinner. James and Lily took food from the kitchen and came out.
"Now, where?" asked Lily.
" To Gryffindor common room, there's a secret place," said James.
They both reached the common room which was empty, James asked Lily to wait as he ran up to his dorm and came back down in a minute.
" I informed Sirius that we are okay but will not come to dinner." informed James.
"Oh, they might have been worried." said Lily.
"Yeah, now let's go to my spot, but you cant tell about it to anyone, not even Marauders, Mary or Marls. Okay?" asked James.
"Okay."
James led her to the place where the stairs of boys and girls dorms met, there was a circular room on the otherside where Lily often visited, it had a window in it's center wall , and lots of trophies won by Gryffindor teams in different-different tournaments were there, the house cup which they had won last year was placed on a beautiful circular table. There was a big portrait of Godric Gryffindor on left wall, there were things made and contributed by previous Gryffindor students, a beautiful cloak with magical abilities of weather prediction and ability to tell time of anywhere in the world was there, given by Dumbledore. On Hall of Fame was name of the best Gryffindor House students' name was there who did great things.
On the right wall was a medium size portrait of an old wizard, who was sitting by a transparent closed window looking out, there was a fireplace by his side where the fire was burning.
James placed his finger over the fire and tapped it five times, the old woman stood up and smiled and then opened the window, and with that the portrait swung open to reveal a balcony.
James entered the balcony and gestured for Lily to come. Lily entered the balcony, the portrait closed behind her, she was facing the lake and the forest beyond that, she looked up and saw there was a ceiling.
"It's the floor of the first-year boys' dorm," James informed her.
On the floor was a mattress. James put down the food , and with a flick of wand removed the dirt from the mattress, " I put it here, this is my spot where I come when I want to be alone." James told Lily.
"So, who all has seen this place?" asked Lily thinking that James might use to bring other girls here for stuff.
"No one you are the first after me, the previous person who has found it was probably 50 years ago because when I first entered here in 3rd year there was a notebook with date of 1940s something. I haven't told my friends otherwise they will all come and invade me." James sighed.
"They can see you on Marauders' Map though" said Lily.
"No, they can't because I removed this place from the map, we are now not on the map." James grinned.
"Why did you show it to me then?" asked Lily.
James smiled at her and then moved closer to her. "Because you are different Lily, you see me for what I am and just not some Quidditch player or cool guy, and because I wanted you to show this place, but I will request again not to tell others."
"I will not tell others, promise." said Lily smiling " Thanks for showing me your spot, it's beautiful, we can see stars as well."
"Now, it's our spot" said James, giving her a goblet of pumpkin juice.
"To our spot" they both toasted and drank their juice.
They both sat there looking at stars and talking, all the events of afternoon forgotten. They played the music and listened it while eating, they talked about Sherlock Holmes, Dr. Who and other funny things, and they laughed together at jokes.
"I guess dinner's over, there's sound of people coming from common room." pointed out Lily.
"Yeah they will take some time to go to their dorms," said James.
"Let's revise for transfiguration tomorrow then, I haven't revised it after Sunday." said Lily
"Let's revise it now, Accio Transfiguration books " a book came flying from one of the windows above. And they began revising Transfiguration, James helped Lily, wherever she got stuck, he showed her few transfiguration which she had difficulty in doing.
By the time they were finished, no noise was coming from the common room, James asked the portrait of old man, if the coast was clear on other side, the man nodded and opened the portrait.
"Thanks, James," said Lily.
"For what?" he asked.
"For being there for me and for making me happier."
"Well, it was my mistake, in first place. I am sorry that I provoked him to use that word." James sighed sadly. Lily moved to him and held his hand.
"You made some mistake but Snape saying that to me wasnt your mistake, it was his." Lily assured him.
"Umm thanks," said James.
"Just remember the promises you mad about improvement," Lily said.
"Of course, I will remember my promise and improve myself." said James and Lily smiled and then hugged him.
"Well good night James."
"Yeah, good night, I will just go and collect my things from the common room." said James.
Lily entered her dorm feeling happy and began changing into her dress gown.
"Lily are you alright?" asked Mary jumping off her bad, Marls followed her both the girls were revising transfiguration when Lily entered.
"Yeah I'm alright," said Lily.
"Where were you?" asked Marls
" I was in the forest with James and then went to the kitchen for dinner" she lied the last part.
"So you are not angry with James?"
"I was but not anymore, he promised that he will stop bullying and doing other things." said Lily.
"Okay, but did you meet Snape?" asked Mary.
"No, and I don't want to," said Lily getting angry again.
"Well he is outside the Gryffindor tower, he wanted to come in but we denied it. He asked where are you, and Peter said to him that we will not tell him and that he better remain away from you if he wants his well-being," said Mary.
"Good one by Peter, I will thank him for that," said Lily.
"Lily he is still out there, when we came in 20 minutes ago." said Mary
"Tell him to fuck off and what were you doing out late at night ?" asked Lily.
"Well talking to McGonagall about today's incident, she has given James 2 days detention, which we have to inform him of, Sirius has also got detention for 2 days and I have lost 10 points," replied Marlene.
"Ohh, thanks for the punch, Marls," said Lily and Marls winked.
" Lily he is threatening to sleep out there," said Mary.
"Well he can sleep there I don't care," said Lily.
"Lily, if he sleeps out there, a big scene will be created by morning and sorry to inform you but the afternoon scene was enough, the entire castle is talking about it and I don't think you will like that," said Mary.
"But I don't wanna go there, I might kill him," said Lily angrily.
"That's my girl," said Marls and Mary threw her an angry look.
"Lily please just go and tell him not to come again, that will settle it." said Mary.
Lily nodded and reached the common room with the 2 Ms behind her, she saw that James was still there sitting on a couch, writing something. He looked at the girls and ran towards them.
"What happened are you alright Lily, you look angry," said James, Mary and Marls exchanged shocked looks.
"I am fine James it's just that Snape's out there threatening to sleep out there and Mary says that I have to talk to him and send him away." groaned Lily, both the girls exchanged looks again, has James just called her Lily, and Lily has called him James, and both were talking in a friendly manner.
"Oh, I see," said James, " Should I tell him to go or inform McGonagall or you wanna talk to him, should I come with you?."
Mary and Marlene were now shocked thrice, James Potter handling a situation with a calm mind and that too one involving Snape.
"Thanks, James, but I am gonna talk to him by myself, I don't want any more interaction with him, so I should make him understand that or he will come back again," said Lily.
James put a hand on her shoulder, "You are a brave witch." Lily smiled and left.
James watched as Lily put a strong face and left, all three of them heard the portrait open.
"What do you want?" asked Lily voice, James noticed the anger in her voice.
"I'm sorry," said Snape's voice.
"I'm not interested."
"I'm sorry!"
"Save your breath," said Lily in a stern voice. "I only came because Mary told me you were threatening to sleep here."
"I was. I would have done. I never meant to call you Mudblood, it just..." James clenched his fist.
"Slipped out?" There was no pity in Lily's voice. "Its too late. I've made excuses for you for years. None of my friends can understand why I even talk to you. You and your precious little Deat Eater friends ... you see, you don't even deny it! You don't even deny that's what you're all aiming to be! You can't wait to join You-Know-Who, can you?" there was silence for a few seconds.
" I can't pretend anymore. You've chosen your way, I've chosen mine."
"No ... listen, I didn't mean ..."
"to call me Mudblood? But you call everyone of my birth Mudblood, Severus. Why should I be any different?" the portrait hole closed loudly as Lily entered the common room.
She was holding her tears but the eyes betrayed her, as soon as she enter the room she was engulfed in warm hands, and she let her tears fall, as two more pairs of hands engulfed her, Mary and Marlene, first shocked at the scene but hugged Lily.
"Hey, wait we are coming too," said Sirius' voice as the three boys descended the stairs.
And soon three more pairs of hands joined them, but the one that has gripped her harder and the one she has gripped were the warmest. Lily smiled, however badly the day might have started but it has came to a great and happy end as she was surrounded and hugged by the best people.
This for Lily was one of the happiest moments for her as she was surrounded by her true friends.
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