Lorelai turned over and hit her phone turning her alarm off at five Monday morning. She turned onto her back and slowly opened her eyes to look up at the ceiling.

Spencer turned over as well and put an arm around her. "You ready?" He asked

She took a breath. "I'm nervous. I feel almost like I did on my very first day but for different reasons." She said

"What reasons are those?" He asked

"Well. Am I still going to be able to do this job as well as before? Will I be able to be a good mother while doing this job? Will something happen and I leave our daughter without a mother." Lorelai said

"I think you will be able to be just as good of an agent if not better than before. And you will learn how to balance work and home as every other good parent does. Because you are a great mom. And as for the last thing. The job we do. Yes comes with risks. But that's why we have each other's backs." He said

Lorelai smiled and nodded.

"You're sure you can do the boxing beforehand? Your side is okay?" He asked

"Yes. I'm okay." She said. She stretched a bit. Spencer let her go and they both got up. Lorelai went and started some coffee. They went about their morning routine. Once she was ready Lorelai went and picked up Hailey from her bed. "I love you, Hailey, I know you will have fun with the sitter, but I will be home as soon as I can." She said

Spencer looked into the room and smiled. "You are going to be late. Emily will be annoyed. I can get her ready." He said

Lorelai took a breath and kissed her head before handing her over to Spencer.

Spencer took her and kissed Lorelai.

Lorelai went and grabbed her bag before heading out to get to the office.

She got there and went to the gym and got ready before heading out to where Emily was waiting.

"I'm late sorry," Lorelai said

"That's okay. Let's just get to it." Emily said

The two of them boxed for a bit. When they were done. They both went to the locker room and got ready to head up to the squad room.

"How are you feeling? Being back to work?" Emily asked

"Mixed feelings. I'm ready to be back but hard leaving Hailey." Lorelai said

"I get it," Emily said.

The two ladies finished getting ready and headed up to the squad room. And they got to work. They had a case and before long they were on the jet and heading to New York.

/\/\/\/\/\

Morgan and Hotch Jr. were driving to interview a neighbor of one of their victims.

"How are you doing?" Morgan asked her

"I'm okay," Lorelai said looking at her phone after it buzzed

"Text from the sitter?" Morgan asked

"Yes. A picture. She looks happy." Lorelai said

"That is because you and Spencer picked a good person to take care of her," Derek said

"I know. And I trust her. Lots of experience. Clean record. Hailey is always happy when I come home when she has been with her." Lorelai said

"But?" Derek asked

"I miss her," Lorelai said.

"I think that's pretty normal," Derek said.

Lorelai nodded. "But I need to put my focus on work right now." She said

"Right. So, let's go over what we know about this man we are going to talk to." Derek said

And they did just that. When they got there they went inside and spoke to him. They were there for about an hour as they headed out. They had some new information, and they went out to the car calling Hotch and the rest of the team to inform them.

Everyone headed out to the home of their new suspect and when they got there they noticed the front door was wide open. They went inside and started to look around guns drawn. Morgan and Hotch Jr. ended up at the door of the office. Morgan and Hotch Jr. looked at each other. Morgan nodded to her. Lorelai opened the door quickly and Morgan went in first Lorelai following. Pointing their gun at the woman sitting at her desk with a gun to her head.

"Put the gun down," Morgan said calmly.

"Why? So, I can go to jail?" The woman asked

"Why don't you tell us what happened?" Lorelai asked.

"I used to be happy." The woman said. "I had a husband. A son and a daughter. Then I got sick. My husband was dotting at first. Then he stopped coming to visit me as much. Then I found out he was seeing someone else. While I was sick in the hospital!" She said

"Well. He is an asshole." Lorelai said

"Exactly! So, he deserved to die!" The woman screamed.

"Maybe. But what about the other people you killed?" Lorelai asked

"They were his friends. Keeping his secrets." The woman said

"What about your kids? They already lost their father." Lorelai pointed out.

"So, it's better that they grow up with me in prison than dead?" The woman asked

"Honestly. Yes. When they are old enough. They can still have a chance to come and visit you." Lorelai said

"Would you want to visit your mother if she killed your father?" The woman asked

"I don't get to visit the person who killed my mom. Because he died when being apprehended for said and numerous other murders." Lorelai said

The woman nodded.

"Don't make your children orphans," Lorelai said.

The woman had tears streaming down her face.

"Please," Lorelai said.

The woman put the gun down. Morgan and Prentiss went over and pulled her from her seat and arrested her. Lorelai left the room and went outside and leaned against the side of the house bent over putting her hands on her knees and taking a few breaths she was having a panic attack

Rossi came over. "You all right?" He asked concern clear in his voice

"Yeah. Just need a minute." Lorelai said

"You sure?" Rossi asked

Lorelai nodded. She took a deep breath and stood up.

Rossi put a hand on her shoulder. "You ready to head back to the station?"

Lorelai nodded. She saw Morgan putting the woman they arrested in the back of a squad car.

"Thanks, Rossi, I'm okay." She said

Rossi smiled and let her go.

She got back into the car with Morgan and they started the ride back to the station.

"Did I see you having a panic attack?" Morgan asked

Lorelai took a breath and nodded.

"Never seen that on the job before," Morgan said.

"Just readjusting I think." She said

Morgan nodded. "Want to talk about it?"

"I don't know what happened. I just was panicked for some reason." Lorelai said

"Never felt like that before?" He asked

"Not at work no." She said

"When else did you feel like this then?" He asked

"Most recently. A few times during the pregnancy. When I was worried about the kind of mother I was going to be." Lorelai told him.

Derek nodded. "So, what were you thinking about while you were talking this woman down?" He asked

Lorelai looked out the window and didn't say anything.

"Talking about it will help," Derek said

"Was worried she would turn the gun on me, and I would die and not be there to see my daughter grow up," Lorelai said holding back tears.

"Okay. But that didn't happen. You did what you do better than anyone else on this team. You talked her down." Derek said

"I know. But the fear was still there while I was doing it." She said

"I understand that. You're adjusting to this job while having someone who depends on you to come home alive. I get that. But you know you are good at this job. You know you have a team of people who have your back. I had your back. She would not have gotten a chance to shoot you. I would have taken her down if she tried." He said

"I know that. I do. This feeling doesn't have anything to do with me not trusting this team." She told him

Derek nodded. "I know. I get it. You can't control how your brain thinks when you're in a high-stress situation. It's okay that you felt that way. You will adjust and the feeling will go away."

Lorelai nodded. "I hope so."

"I know so. Think back to when you first started with the team." He said. "How did you feel?"

"Well… I've never told anyone this, but I didn't care… Didn't care if I made it out alive. The dangerous choices I made. Well, it was because I didn't care. Eventually, I did care but I was so used to making stupid choices took me a while to change that…" She told him.

"Wow. Hearing you say that is scary." He said

Lorelai nodded. "Scary how if I had died. The life I live and life I love wouldn't be." She said.

"Yes. But scary how little you cared about your own life." Derek said.

"I know. I don't feel that way anymore." She said

"I know. But is that because you see how important you are as a person or solely because you don't want to leave your child without a mother?" He asked

"It's both. I value my life at this point. I'm a person who is alive for a reason. Not just to be a mother hence how I concluded I can be a good mother while also having a career and making a difference in the world." She said. "But also, because I don't want my child growing up without a mother."

Derek nodded. "Okay. Good. Just checking."

"I know. And I know you do it because you care." She said

Derek nodded. "Do you feel better now?"

Lorelai smiled and nodded.

They were quiet for a few minutes.

"You never told anyone about how you felt when you first joined the BAU?" He asked

"No. Until you. I don't care if you tell Spencer or anyone. I don't feel that way anymore. I have nothing to hide." She said

Derek nodded. "I do not need to tell anyone."

Lorelai nodded.

"But I think you should. Tell Spencer at least." He said

"I don't want to worry him. It was so long ago." She said

"I get that. But if it was Penny. I would want to know. Regardless of if it was in the past or not." Derek said.

Lorelai nodded.

"But I won't tell him. You need to decide whether you tell him or not." Derek said

She nodded again. "I appreciate that."

They pulled into the police station. They both got out and went inside with everyone else.

Hotch went to Morgan and Hotch Jr. "You two will go and finish interrogating her. Getting her statement."

They both agreed and went in and did what they needed to. When they were done they went to the conference. They started on the paperwork.

It took them a few hours when they were done they all headed to the jet and headed home.

Lorelai and Spencer got in around three am. The sitter was asleep with the baby in her arms in the rocking chair and Lorelai smiled a bit. She went and took sleeping Hailey from her arms gently. Causing the other woman to wake up.

"Hi. Sorry." Lorelai said

The woman smiled. "That's okay."

Lorelai kissed Hailey's head and tucked her in bed.

The sitter got up from the chair and left the room. Lorelai followed a few minutes later.

Spencer and she were talking.

"She was perfect. No trouble." The sitter said

Spencer nodded. "Good."

"Thank you for taking care of her," Lorelai said

"It's not a problem. She's a fun kid." The sitter said

They said their goodbyes and the sitter left and went home.

Lorelai went and took a shower and climbed into bed. Spencer showered after her and also climbed into bed. They both went to sleep.