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KP © Disney. Original characters © author
Chapter 37: The Naco Hits The Fan
I.
Tim was terrified.
Monkey Fist had merely looked at him with glowing eyes and the grad student gone bad found himself suspended in the air, and unable to move. He consoled himself with the knowledge that, unlike his Aunt Amy, he had not been petrified and turned into a statue.
"You will do as you are told, do I make myself clear?" the Englishman said, looking at him with cold, piercing eyes.
"Y-yes," Tim stammered.
"Good," Monkey Fist replied. He looked away and Tim fell to the ground landing with a thud. "You will put on this uniform."
"Huh?" Tim asked as he got up, rubbing his sore side.
"I am in need of a valet," the Englishman sniffed. "You will do. Though do know," he added with malevolence, "You are on probation."
II.
The lights and recording equipment had been set up and the producer had made sure that everything was in order for his star. Satisfied all was ready, he gave Lynn the signal to begin.
Lynn smiled as she looked at the camera. "We're here today with Troy Bell, Junior, son of Senator Troy Bell, Senior, to get the scoop on supposed teen hero Kim Possible." She turned here gaze to her interviewee. "Tell me about your encounter with Kim Possible," she asked as they began their conversation, though some might have described what followed as a drive-by hit.
The young man grinned at her, remembering everything his father had said about performing for the cameras, and then gave a boyish shake of his head. "Well, it was strange, Lynn. Then again we're talking about a girl who likes to hit people and—"
"Wait, are you saying she hit you?" Lynn interjected, her hopes rising for something juicy.
"No, though she threatened me, said she'd treat me like one of her villain foes."
Lynn nodded sympathetically. "You must have been scared."
"I don't know about that, but it was unnerving, though I have to wonder about all of her so-called heroics," Troy said.
"What do you mean?"
"Well, she has this website and she seems to be pretty media savvy. How much, really, do we know about what she does? I mean, it could all be a big put on," Troy offered, before he leaned in and suggested conspiratorially, "Or she could be working with the bad guys."
"That's an interesting possibility," Lynn observed, her facial expression and body language all but signaling she thought Troy was onto something. She'd let the innuendo hang there for her audience to mull over. "Tell me, what about her sidekick, how do you think he figures into all of this?"
"What, her so-called 'boyfriend'? There's something fishy going on there. No way a girl like Kim Possible is dating a guy like that," Troy answered, not bothering to hide his disdain, before he gave Lynn's viewers yet more to gossip about, "But maybe that's why she came on to me …"
III.
Dean Barkin glared across his desk at the two students, who were seated before him in his office. While Kim Possible and Ron Stoppable had saved the world on more than one occasion, he could not help but feel they looked like a couple of … kids.
And kids drank.
And used controlled substances.
And even sniffed glue.
Which was the only conceivable explanation for this story, this fairy tale, the two were trying to sell him.
"Now, let me get this straight," he said through gritted teeth. "You want me to believe that Stoppable here has the ability to summon magical powers, in defiance of the laws of man and nature, to commune with some Japanese martial arts master using a vintage video game as a communications medium and somehow that destroyed said gaming system?"
Kim and Ron had talked before this meeting and finally agreed that telling the truth was the only way to handle the destruction of the gaming system. Dean Barkin struck them as being like his twin brother: gruff, tough, but ultimately wanting to do the right thing. He might not like it, but he wouldn't go around telling people about Ron's mystical monkey powers.
Though Ron had faith he could keep his powers under wraps a la the Fearless Ferret, Kim still didn't get nor believe in the whole secret identity thing and knew it was only a matter of time before her BFBF's monkey powers became public knowledge. It would be so the drama if something happened and they looked like they were hiding something, and the trouble would begin with Dean Barkin.
Still, Ron swallowed and gulped, unable to hide his nervousness. Kim, unflappable as usual, stared back at the man and answered. "Yes, sir."
Barkin ignored the young woman and asked her companion, "Is Possible your spokesperson or are you man enough to say something for yourself, Stoppable?"
Kim bristled; she liked neither Barkin's tone, nor his dismissal of her. But before she could say anything, Ron, who had begun rubbing the back of his neck betraying his discomfort with the situation, said, "There's nothing wrong with KP speaking for the Ronster, Dean B, but to answer your question, yeah."
"Yeah, what?"
"Yeah, I, uh, can do that stuff."
"Fine. Show me," Barkin demanded as he looked at Ron through narrowed eyes.
"Show you? Show you? It's not like I can just go all..."
It was then Kim squeezed Ron's hand reassuringly and he remembered his visit to the astral plane when Sensei had told him he had completed his training.
"… Hey, maybe I can!" he exclaimed. Then, he closed his eyes and began to meditate.
Barkin looked on skeptically and grunted, while Kim shot the dean a look. "Rude, much?"
Before Barkin could respond, the office lights flickered, then faded, and a confused dean looked around. "What's going on?"
In response, he was answered by the sound of monkeys. Kim smirked knowingly.
And then the blue, monkey-filled penumbra appeared and surrounded Ron as his hair began to dance in the breeze that whipped around and about him. Slowly, he rose from his chair. Then his eyes opened, he looked at Barkin, and grinned. He paused before doing a full back flip. "Freaky enough for you?"
"Ron, stop playing around," Kim chided, rolling her eyes.
"Bagels and Lox," Barkin gulped as he shifted uncomfortably in his chair.
Satisfied that the dean had received his message, Ron returned to his chair, the wind and aura dissipated, and the monkey sounds faded away.
Barkin rubbed his temples. "Fine. You don't have to pay for the game …"
"Badical!" Ron exclaimed.
"… But you're suspended from the football team."
"What?!" Ron's eyes opened wide and his jaw fell. "I didn't use my monkey mojo on the field, Dean B! Honest!"
"Dean Barkin, this is so not fair," Kim protested.
"Life's not fair, Possible. I'm not saying Stoppable has done anything wrong, but if word gets out about this, I have to be ready for someone, somewhere, to claim he's been cheating and that reflects on the team. I will not have the school's reputation suffer."
"Man, this tanks," Ron fumed.
Kim pursed her lip in thought, then sighed. Thinking ahead, she asked a question, suspecting she knew the answer. "What about Ron's athletic scholarship?"
Barkin actually had the decency to look apologetic. "Sorry. That will have to be rescinded for the duration, too."
"Aw, man! Next thing you know I'm gonna be kicked out of school! And KP's going to dump me."
"Nobody's dumping you, Ron," Kim said as she again took his hand in hers. "Not me, not the school. Right, Dean Barkin?"
"That's right. Stoppable's been doing the work and has somehow maintained an acceptable GPA." From Barkin, this was high praise. That train didn't get very far from the station before his eyes narrowed. "I'm assuming you're not using these dark arts to cheat in class."
"No way, Dean B. KP would kill me!" Ron blurted out.
Kim cocked an eyebrow, Ron gulped, and then he stammered. "And, and, that would be wrong-sick!"
"Good. But know that I'll be keeping an eye on you, mister. Until further notice, you're on probation."
IV.
Kim had her arm wrapped around Ron's as they left Barkin's office.
"Man, this just tanks," he said glumly.
Kim nodded sympathetically. "I know it does. But I need you to do something for me."
"What?"
"Put all this 'you're going to dump' me stuff aside," Kim said as she turned and faced him. "We're not breaking up. Got it?" She now had her nose touching his and began to give him an Eskimo kiss.
"Yeah," he said, grinning sheepishly.
Kim leaned in and gave Ron a real kiss, then put her hands on his shoulders. "I know this is going to be tough, but remember: you're my Potential Boy."
"I'll try to keep that in mind when I'm washing dishes or cleaning toilets or doing whatever I have to do to pay the bills. All that tuition is going to take a lot of fundage," he said. "We may have to go back to the coupon book."
Kim sighed, "As long as we pass on the chicken beaks, I'm okay with it. Or I can pay for our dates. It it's not like I haven't done that before."
Ron frowned. "See? I got nuthin' in the boyfriend department."
Kim glared. "No dissing the BF. Yes, you've done some ferociously weird stuff, but you always get the message, learn, and step up." Then she smiled. "What matters is that we're going to college together, not where we can afford to go on a date. I heard what Dean Barkin said. I'm so proud of how you're doing."
"Okay, okay, my pity fiesta is over," Ron said with a grin. "I guess when you've got the most bon-diggity girlfriend in the world, it's hard not to want to overachieve," Ron said.
"That's my guy," she said, wearing a brilliant smile.
Kim took Ron's hand in hers as they walked down the steps and toward the main quad. The two were chatting about Kim's cheer practice as they headed back to her dorm when a hole opened up beneath Ron and, screaming, he disappeared.
Kim didn't have time to react though, because, she too, was swallowed up.
V.
Will Du sat in the control room monitoring the progress of the two capsules carrying the members of Team Possible when the red light began flashing on the console.
"What's going on?" he asked the agent by his side.
"Capsule One has just been diverted, Sir," the man replied.
Will Du arched an eyebrow. For those who knew him, this was a sign of total panic. He didn't know which he dreaded more: reporting to Doctor Director that Global Justice's tube network had been breached or telling Kim Possible that Ron Stoppable had just gone missing.
To Be Continued …