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My thanks to the ever-helpful campy for looking over this chapter.

KP © Disney; Original Characters © the Author

Chapter 44: All the Fake News That's Fit to Print

I.

The Kimmunicator's tones rang as Team Possible and its allies battled their way to Area 52's exit. As the device continued to chime Kim answered as she delivered a knife chop to an oncoming assailant. "Go Wade," she said, trying to hide her frustration.

"Kim!" he exclaimed. "Have you seen the news?"

She cocked a disbelieving eyebrow at her webmaster. "Hello! Secret military installation? Abducted BF? Loads of guards with attitude? Headlines haven't been my priority."

"Sorry," he said sheepishly. "You remember Lynn Accurate?"

Kim rolled her eyes and groaned. "Yes, but I so wish I didn't."

"Well, she's back. And so are a bunch of others. It's bad."

"How bad?"

"Real bad," he answered. "Sorry."

"Great," she muttered, then taking heed of her friend's apologetic expression. "Don't worry, Wade. You still rock."

"Thanks, Kim."

"Okay, give me the down low …"

II.

"So, it looks like she wasn't as tough as everybody thought," Joe Blow sneered as the now familiar image of a frightened Kim Possible being drawn up into the belly of the Lorwardian ship played on the studio monitor behind him.

"That's not surprising," his co-host Bob Bast said dismissively. "I've heard that a lot of the stuff she supposedly did was actually staged."

III.

"Man, she's got great legs," the overweight host of Dudeworld said approvingly as the monitor zoomed in on a helpless Kim from below.

"Well, she's a cheerleader," his lecherous and equally girth-blessed studio buddy said approvingly.

"I wonder if she did any routines for the aliens," the first guy said before he continued in a mock falsetto: "Give me an H, give me an E, give me an L, give me a P. HELP!"

"I know I wouldn't mind helping her," his buddy said salaciously before they both began laughing.

IV.

"Well-placed sources report that celebrity hero Kim Possible was cheating on her boyfriend and sidekick Don Droppable with Dexter from the O Boyz when she was abducted by aliens," the host of Celebrity Homo Sapiens said breathily. "Of course, that didn't stop the selfish, self-absorbed teen from asking Rob to put himself in danger for her sake when she was in trouble."

V.

"No wonder she looks terrified," the analyst on Alien Abduction TV observed. "She was smart enough to know that once she got on board that ship, they'd stick her full of probes. Lucky for Kim Possible that Doctor Drakken and that sidekick of hers were able to save her. Of course, we still don't know what really happened before she was freed. For all we know, she might have been programmed by her captors and at this very moment may be a ticking time bomb waiting to do the bidding of her alien masters …"

VI.

Kim let out a low growl as she scanned the videos; she was grateful to her impromptu team for giving her and Ron some space. She'd never given much thought to what people other than her peers thought of her adventures and, after she'd almost lost her relationship with Ron thanks to her preoccupation with the high school food chain, she knew that the good opinion of her BFBF, family and real friends was all that mattered to her. This, however, rankled. It wasn't just that this was a change from the usually positive press she received. People were actually mocking her, leering at her, even making her feel like a freak. She didn't want it to bother her. But must as she wanted to ignore what she was seeing, it was getting under her skin.

Ron could tell that all of this was bothering his best friend girlfriend. "Don't be lettin' the bullies get you down, KP, 'kay?"

She shook her head in disgust, but then smiled as she felt his touch. "I won't, I promise. But this is like a bad rerun of last summer."

Ron thought about Lynn Accurate's first story. "You want me to call Paula Pandowdy?" he asked. "I'm sure she'd be all over this."

She nodded, her expression one of grim determination. "That would be spankin'," she agreed.

VII.

"This is outrageous! Kimmie-cub shouldn't have to deal with these scoundrels."

His wife Ann arched an eyebrow. "Really, James. Kim knows what the media can be like. Frankly, she got off easy all those years with the TV people here in Middleton." She paused then mused, "Though I hope Ron knows when news is fake."

James looked quizzically at her. "Ronald?"

"Dear, he did doubt the moon landing," she explained. "I would hate for him to jump to any conclusions."

VIII.

"So how about it? Ya think you could do KP a solid?" Ron asked the influential talk show host who happened to be one of the world's five richest people and a mean card player.

"All of these reports do seem questionable," Paula said into the phone as she walked down the street. "If you two can be at the studio tomorrow morning, I can interview Kim—whoa!"

"What?! What is it?" a surprised Ron asked.

Paula had been in Times Square and, like all of the other pedestrians and stopped drivers, she was now watching video footage of Ron going full monkey on the giant screens that surrounded the famed crossroads.

"I, I, wow," she stuttered before she realized she had the biggest story in the news on the line. "Ron, scratch what I said about talking with Kim. I want both of you — and an exclusive. This story is huge!"

"What are you talking about?"

Before Paula could answer, the Kimmunicator rang. It was at moments like this Kim was especially thankful that Ron had her old unit.

"What up, Wade? We're trying to deal with all of this fake news," Kim said.

"I don't think that's going to be a problem," he said. "Fake news is old news."

"Excuse me?" Kim asked.

"Video of Ron's fight with those aliens is out," he interjected.

"No way!" she said.

"Yes way," Wade replied. "And now the website's going crazy with hits! You guys better get home, fast."

"We're on it, Wade. Talk with you later."

Ron turned back to his call with Paula. "That exclusive? It's yours," he sighed, wondering what else could go wrong.

Kim had been listening in. Knowing he could use some support, Kim put her arm around his shoulder. He'd been there for her when she was facing a problem, and now she'd be there for him. "It's going to be okay, Ron. We're going to be okay. We're Team Possible and we'll beat this."

Ron looked at his girlfriend. "If it were anyone else saying that, KP …"

"But it's not," she replied confidently. "Don't forget my motto …"

"What, she can do anything?"

"No. I'm Ron Stoppable's girlfriend and you so don't want to get in my way." The fierce look of determination on her face reassured him.

"Man, am I lucky," he said

"Back atcha, BF," she replied before giving him a buss on the cheek.

"Okay, that's enough of the sick lovebird stuff," Shego snapped as she approached the two. "You have any idea of how we're getting out of here?"

Scamper and Bitey took that opportunity to show themselves. They waved and then pointed. The entire team had reassembled and now looked on, wondering what they were communicating—everyone but Ron, who was still able to maintain his telepathic connection with the two aliens. After a moment, he smiled.

"Ron?" Kim asked, curious herself.

"Guys, we got this thing in le bag,"

"How is that Stoppable-san?" Yori asked.

"My peeps have a ride and we're going to be cruisin' in style!" He said with a cocky flourish of his hands.

"Spankin'," she said with a smirk, which after years of knowing Kim told him he was about to be taken down a peg. Not one to disappoint, she delivered by saying, "And I call shotgun."

"Aw man!" he whined then scrambled to recover. "Maybe we could ride together. You know, you, uh sit in my lap?" he asked hopefully.

Kim's expression morphed into something warmer. "Time and place, Ron." She paused then added, "But I like the way you think."

To Be Continued …

A/N: A few of you have asked about Kim and Ron's growth spurt in the last chapter. For the moment, I'll just fall back on Jim and Tim, who clearly aged between S3 and S4. Frankly, I always thought it would have been nice if the series ended with Kim and Ron taller, showing their transition to adulthood. I may touch on this more in the story, but I may not.