Thank you to Boris Yeltsin, airauralintensity, KPFan5770, CajunBear73, F86Sabre53, Eddy13, Bobtrumpet, nw150, Quathis, Jimmy1201, and Molloy for reviewing and to everyone for reading.
My thanks to campy for looking over this chapter.
Recommendation: campy has written a great story called The Cheerleader on the Edge of Forever, which features some of the minor characters from Kim Possible. As with all his stories, it's well worth your time. Read it.
KP © Disney; Original Characters © the Author
The Big Cheese
I.
Beep-be-beep-beep
Beep-be-beep-beep
"Sorry," Kim apologized with a slight cringe to Paula, wishing her wrist Kimmunicator would stop ringing. It didn't, so the auburn-haired hero answered the call, seeing the familiar visage of her webmaster. "What's the sitch, Wade? We're kind of busy here," she hissed.
"Dementor's on the move in Manhattan, Kim!" Wade replied, knowing Kim would shift into mission mode and her annoyance would dissipate. "I know the timing isn't good but …"
"… Evil doesn't take care of itself," she said. "We're on it. Come on, Ron," she said as she rose to her feet. "Sorry Paula, but …"
"You have to Save. The. World! Let's give Team Possible a round of applause," the TV hostess said as her guests made their way off stage.
II.
"Man, you'd think we could have gotten a ride or something," Ron groused.
"This isn't my first choice, either," Kim said, as she looked at the sea of humanity with whom they were sharing the subway car. "But it's faster than a taxi or limo and it's not like we have the Sloth anymore."
"I'm sorry about my wheels, KP," Ron apologized.
"It's no big. How could you know that the fusion reactor was misaligned? If anybody should be saying sorry, it's the tweebs," she offered, laying a comforting hand on her BFBF's arm.
"West Fourth Street," announced the conductor as the train entered the station. Kim stood up, pulling Ron with her.
"Come on, it's time to jet," she said.
III.
The duo left the station and emerged onto Sixth Avenue and headed toward where Wade had suggested Dementor's lair could be found. They quickly turned a corner onto a quiet way with shade trees and hurried their way down towards Bleeker Street. As they approached, Ron stopped and stared.
Kim halted too, wondering why her BFBF had pulled up short. "What is it?" she asked, slightly peeved. She needed him to focus on the mission, after all. Then she noticed he looked like a forlorn child looking inside a locked candy shop window. Or in this case, a cheese shop.
She rolled her eyes. "Dementor now, cheese later."
"B-but, Kim, i-it's Morty's," he said plaintively.
"So? What's the big?" she asked with a shrug
"What's the big?! It's only the mecca of cheese! It's the Steel Toe of cheesemongers!"
"Not impressing me here."
"Okay, look, imagine a ginormous Country Club Banana du fromage!"
Kim quirked an eyebrow.
"A-and Coco Banana was the Big Cheese! Dishing out the cheese himself!"
Kim released a breath, she didn't realize she was holding. Ron might be overreacting, but now she understood why this place might be important to him. "Look, I promise we can stop in after we beat the bad guy. Now can we go?"
"Yeah," Ron said as he looked wistfully at the Cheese Shop. "Okay, the Ronster's ready to go kick Dementor in the keister."
"I like the way you think," she said as she grabbed Ron's hand and began running down the street.
IV.
"MYRON! Vhat are you doing?" Dementor shrieked as he turned and saw his sister's husband manhandling his newest invention.
"What do you mean, BIL?" the lanky hench-brother-in-law asked as he stumbled with the aforementioned device, the Portable Seismic Destructurator
"ACH! You vill be driving me to insanity with the calling me of zat name!"
"What name?"
"Zat name, dumkopf!"
"But I didn't call you 'dumkopf', BIL."
Dementor then did something Myron had never before seen, nor had anybody else for that matter. Screaming, the Teutonic menace tore off his helmet, threw it to the floor, then began to jump up and down on his headgear.
"The anger management problems are most def not a good look on you, Dementor," said a familiar and most unwanted voice. Standing there in his new lair was none other than Kim Possible.
"Yeah, I guess he decided to try something other than the tin can," Ron said as he joined Kim and gestured to Dementor's headgear.
Arching an eyebrow, but still smiling, she riposted, "True. But honestly, helmet wasn't a good look on him either."
Dementor's eyes began to twitch. Then he bellowed, "MEIN LOYAL HENCHMEN, to me!"
Myron was the first to his side.
"Vhat are you DOING, MYRON?"
"You called your henchmen to your side, BIL …"
"Und vhy vould you think zis included you?"
"Well, I thought …"
"Nein. Nein. No thinking. Not today. Not ever! To ze side, you and ze delusional thinking vill get out of my way vhile ve get on vith ze crushing of Kim Possible!"
"I don't think so, Dementor," Kim said, her hands on her hips and a supremely confident smile on her face.
"Vhy? You are not vearing ze super high-stepping, self-healing, hand-thingy suit."
"Admittedly, no. But I guess you haven't been watching the news," she said taking Ron's hand in hers. "I've got a super boyfriend."
"Oh right," Dementor said with a roll of the eyes. "Like your zo-called boyfriend mit der so-called 'croaking' powers is super. Some fancy special effects, no? I THINK NOT! The only one who here who vill be doing ze croaking of anyone is me!"
"I don't like you dissing my BF, Dementor," she said, an edge in her voice before she turned her head and looked at her partner. "It's monkey time, Ron."
"Don't you want a piece of him, KP?"
"Not today," she said with a dismissive wave of the hand. "He's all yours."
"You got it, Kimbo." Ron then looked at Dementor and his henchmen as he dropped into a monkey kung fu stance, "Okay, dudes, you're going down."
Dementor and his henchmen all began to laugh. Some even guffawed. Ron sighed. "Man, even after I'm on TV, I don't get any respect."
Kim placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder. "You've got this. Make me proud, Ron Stoppable."
He smiled at her with gratitude for her confidence, then looked back to his quarry. "Okay then, time to impress my lady!" he said as he drove one fist into the palm of his other hand.
One of the henchmen began to chortle but when Ron closed his eyes and an otherworldly red light filled the room the goon stopped. Then Ron floated up from the floor and the man gulped. When Ron began to glow blue and his hair began to wave about as if it was caught in the wind, the henchman fainted.
And Dementor's eyes didn't roll. Instead they bugged out. "Vhat iz vith ze glowing? Vhen did ze sidekick become UBER? Oh, vait …" he said as he remembered the video he had seen.
"I'm not the only one full of surprises," Kim said with a knowing smirk, her arms now crossed akimbo. "Now, are you ready to be a good supervillain and turn yourself in or do you need to see what's next on the program?"
To help Dementor make the right decision, Ron turned to Myron and held out his hand. "Dude, the whatchamathingie."
"Uh, yeah, sure, guy-who-does-look-like-he-belongs-with-Kim Possible," Myron answered meekly as he handed the device over to Ron, who promptly crushed it. Wide-eyed, Myron muttered, "Please don't hurt me … Pretty please."
"NOOOOOO!" Dementor howled as he watched. "Mein liebkin!"
"Maybe you can fix it after you get the dents out of your hat," Ron suggested.
"No need to give the bad guy ideas, Ron," Kim hissed as she gently elbowed him in the side.
"Uh, yeah, right," he said looking abashed. "Dude, forget that, okay? 'Kay."
Kim shook her head, but smiled. Ron was weird, but he was most def her guy.
V.
As Kim looked around the shop she had to admit the selection of cheeses was impressive. Ron definitely thought so as she watched him look at the cheese case, which stretched along one side of the store. He looked like he had just won a lifetime supply of nacos.
Grande-sized ones.
With extra queso.
Which was appropriate since, after they had handed Dementor and his goons over to the Police Department, and showed New York's Finest where Dementor kept the cruelers, which all agreed were actually pretty tasty, Kim and Ron made their way down the street to the cheese emporium.
On one side of the store was the cheese bar, not to be confused with Marty's Cheese Bar, a cheese-themed restaurant a couple of doors down from the shop. Ron was taking all this in with open-mouthed wonder. Meanwhile Kim perused the shop's other wares, the boutique coffees, handmade pastas, various charcuterie, and more, as her boyfriend lost himself in cheese heaven. She was looking at some gourmet crackers when Ron came up to her. She turned and was shocked by his glum expression.
"What's wrong? They cut you off from the samples?" she asked.
"Nah, it's all good," he sighed. "Let's get out of here."
Kim was perplexed. "Who took my cheese-loving BF and replaced him with you?"
"Nobody, KP. I, I just can't afford to buy anything here. All my Claude has to go to pay my tuition now that Barkin's sacked my scholarship."
Kim was struck by a surge of affection for her best friend boyfriend, who was placing his education above his stomach. He was once again stepping up, growing up, and she found that irresistible. She smiled as she put her hands on his shoulders. "It's a good thing I'm getting a free ride. The cheese is on me."
"For reals?" he asked.
"For reals," she said, with a warm smile. Then she leaned in for a kiss. Her lips were about to touch his when she heard someone clearing his throat. Loudly.
She pulled away to see a late middle-aged man about the height of Ron's father, though slimmer. His eyes twinkled as he smiled at them.
Kim was curious as to who he was but Ron stared at him in awe.
"You, you're …"
"Marty Appenzeller," he said.
"Marty? But I thought …" Ron stammered, unable to hide his surprise.
"Morty was my grandfather. Now, enough with the family trees. You're Kim Possible and Ron Stoppable and I can't let you buy anything."
"What?" Kim and Ron asked at the same time. As usual, she earned another free soda from Ron.
"You guys don't know how much damage we almost suffered when the building began to shake because of that German donut guy down the street. The cheese caves almost caved in. Pick out what you want, whatever you want today, it's on the house."
Kim was torn. As a policy she refused payment for her hero work. But it was clear that Ron wanted some cheese.
"Thank you, Mr. Appenzeller, that's really nice …"
She heard the sigh from Ron, who interrupted her. "… But we don't take Claude, or I guess, cheese for missions."
Kim and Marty looked at Ron, Kim in shock and Marty with bemusement. "Heck," he said with a dismissive wave of the hand. "You guys earned it. Look, if you want to do something for me, how about we pose for some pictures I can hang on the wall and maybe use in a catalog."
Kim and Ron exchanged glances, then she said, "Okay, you've got a deal. But you're letting me pay for whatever Ron and I get at the Cheese Bar next door."
"Best. Girlfriend. Ever!" Ron said excitedly as he pumped his fist.
A store employee came over after Marty beckoned and took a series of pictures, and then they picked out some cheeses. Ron's only regret was that Rufus wasn't with them, but he was sure his diminutive friend would appreciate the gouda that his human picked out just for him.
Loaded up with the finest cheeses in the world, satisfied after a great meal next door, and with thanks of the NYPD and Manhattan's premier cheesemonger, Kim and Ron returned to the Llenrock campus.
Of course, that's when things got interesting.
To Be Continued …
A/N: Readers may recognize that the cheese shop that Kim and Ron visited, Morty's, bears a striking resemblance to Murray's, a long-lived and justifiably beloved institution in New York City - with a great web site for those who'd like buy cheese but can't visit Manhattan (or their local Kroger's which now has Murray's cheese counters in many of its stores). If you like cheese, Murray's is amazing.
During this crazy time in which we live, it was gratifying to write this little homage to a little part of the Big Apple that I love visiting and supporting.
Stay safe, and be well.