Thank you to campy, Boris Yeltsin, campy, derekctomlinson, Uberscribbler, LJ58, Lostinthought319, F86Sabre53, Eddy13, CajunBear73, Bobtrumpet, KPFan770, Quathis, Jimmy1201, Molloy, and Anonymoose for reviewing and to everyone for reading.
Thanks also to everyone who has favorite this or any of my other stories.
And, finally, my gratitude to campy and Molloy for looking over this chapter.
KP © Disney; Original Characters © the Author
The resemblance of any characters in this story to any individuals, alive or dead, is purely coincidental and is what it is.
How Now Cow 'n' Chow
I.
When Kim had told Ron, "Less talking, more kissing, please and thank you," before bringing her lips to his, he was more than ready to comply, especially given how persuasive she was. Besides, while Ron may not have been the sharpest tool in the box, even he knew good manners should always be acknowledged.
And so, later that evening, the two were engaged in an epic make-out session, one that would never appear on James T. Possible's "List of Things My Kimmie-Cub Should Do With A Boy. Ever." Lips were being locked, faces mashed, and spit swapped; fingers were doing the walking, bases were being rounded, and hat-tricks were being scored as tonsils vigorously played hockey. Socks were knocked off and articles of clothing discarded, and if any bodices had been worn that evening, they most definitely would have been ripped and, hey, is that a genetically engineered dinothingy eating the Cow 'n' Chow?
In short, clichés were being exhausted in all their glory, as the two college students found once again that there were most definitely fireworks. Though Kim and Ron had been officially going out for a year and a half, and many would have observed they had been together a whole lot longer, each was in the process of happily discovering wholly new and exciting things about her/his best friend boyfriend/girlfriend, not caring a bit about anything outside the confines of Kim's dorm room.
Well, not quite.
Kim, ever the hyper-prepared Type A young woman who regularly saved the world, had taken precautions. No, not just those, but the kind that would be needed if Wade called with a mission. The teen hero had given the matter a lot of thought and realized that despite her tech guru's infatuation with Monique during their senior year, there were some things the young man might not quite be ready to handle. So, earlier that week, she'd held her breath and taken the plunge to prevent anything from derailing what she intended would be a spankin' evening with her guy.
She enlisted the help of Yori.
II.
Kim and Yori were dressed in their workout gis, engaged in a furious workout, a display of martial arts prowess that would have made Sensei proud. The session had been going on for a while when Yori threw a side kick at Kim. "I must ask you a question, Kim-san," she said.
Kim did a backflip, dodging the assault, then responded with one of her own. "Shoot," she answered as her knife kick struck Yori in the side.
The young ninja went down and then signaled that she wanted to take a break, before she continued, "I do not doubt your affection for Stoppable-san, but I must ask, why now?" she asked as she got back on her feet.
Kim and Yori had been talking about the plans that the young hero had for her and her best friend boyfriend throughout their sparring session.
The redhead sighed. "You know how Ron's sitch has been lately?"
"I do," the ninja said with a nod. "And you wish to make up for it?"
"Yes. No. Well, not totally," Kim said, uncharacteristically flustered; she usually would have had this conversation with Monique or Fern, but Monique wasn't at Llenrock and Fern was otherwise occupied, so the ninja would have to suffice. Besides, while either woman could provide a sympathetic ear, neither could kick bad guy booty like Yori.
Kim was pleased that she found talking to Yori easier than she imagined. Their teamwork back when they were tied up together, working to decode the mystery around the key to the Han, helped tremendously. "Yes, I want to do this for Ron. But I also want to do it for me, Yori, for us. We so deserve this."
"And you believe you are ready for such a momentous step in your relationship?"
"So sure. Ron's been ferociously awesome this fall, and that's on top of the whole sitch with the Lorwardians and Area 52. He may not be perfect, but he's my guy," she answered with a look of fierce determination leavened by deep affection that Yori found touching.
"Then it would be my honor to, how do you Americans put it? Run interference for you."
"Thanks, Yori," Kim said gratefully. "You rock."
III.
Wade had already received word from Kim that if anything came up short of a repeat visit by alien battlecruisers neither she nor Ron was to be disturbed that night but that Yori would be on call and available to handle any missions. He assumed it was some dating thing involving lots of kissing (if only he knew). Wade was at that age when imagining his two friends doing "stuff" was ick-inducing yet somehow intriguing and decided that the less he knew the better. Thus, when he noticed the hit on the site, he didn't dwell on Kim and Ron and reached out to the ninja.
"Hello, Wade-san. What is the sitch, as Possible-san might say?"
The young tech-guru smiled. He liked Yori, trusted her, and was glad she was now an unofficial adjunct member of the team. "Something weird is going on here in Middleton and we just got a hit on the site from Justine Flanner."
"And Flanner-san would be?"
"Oh, yeah, right, you never met her, did you? She was a high school classmate of Kim and Ron's, she's now a tenured faculty member at MIST."
"How can that be? Is she not Possible-san's age?"
"She's smart, Yori, real smart," he said before adding, a bit smugly, "Almost smart as me."
Yori nodded. "I see. And what did Flanner-san have to report?"
"Well, this afternoon …"
IV.
Over at MIST earlier that day, fecal material was hitting the oscillating air-movement mechanism with extreme prejudice.
Professor Allenford was aghast and ashamed; Justine was beside herself as she looked at the gaping hole in the lab's wall – a hole which had not been there just a short while ago.
She turned and looked at her colleague, then at the kinematic continuum disruptor, then through the hole again to see the rapidly receding figure of a rampaging dinothingy.
"This is not good," she muttered. "I'd better call the dean."
V.
"Snap," the dean swore as he ended his call with his star faculty member, "This is worse than that Pinky Jo Curly Tail business …."
"At least this one doesn't have blasters," his colleague said. The story of the battle-suit armored rodent was the stuff of lore at the Institute.
"No," the dean sighed. "Just the ability to land us all on unemployment and flipping burgers at Cow 'n' Chow."
His colleague shuddered, then suddenly brightened. "Good thing we have tenure!"
"You're forgetting the Modified Animal clause in our contracts," the dean said.
His colleague's expression soured. "Snap. You're right. I sure hope they have good health insurance. At least I like the burgers …"
VI.
"Now what?" Professor Allenford panicked as Justine hung up the phone and filled him in. "If the Administration can't help us, who can?"
"We call Possible," she said.
"Kim Possible?" Allenford asked. "You really think she can tackle that thing?"
Justine directed a withering look at her colleague. Then again, that was the look she would have directed at anyone. "She and I dealt with a similar situation before."
VII.
Troy Bell sat up in his holding cell, surprised by the sudden burst of light and noise. He was shocked to see a squad of henchmen outside, who were quickly breaking their way in.
"What's going on?" he asked.
"You're moving quarters," one of the goons answered.
"Where? Who ordered this?"
"None of your business, kid." The man was brandishing a weapon, so he had Troy's full attention.
"And what if I don't want to go with you?" Troy said with a burst of bravado that may have been helpful when hitting on some college co-eds but in this instance was most definitely not a wise choice as his interlocutor zapped him.
"Who cares?" the man said, as he signaled his colleagues to come in and collect their unconscious charge.
"Uh, I think the boss might care," one of those colleagues said as he flipped the young man over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes.
"Yeah, I think you may have a point. Good thing she didn't say anything about zapping him," the first man said as they left.
VIII.
Justine sighed as she looked at Wade. "I see. Well, that's not optimal, but I suppose it will have to do."
Wad stifled a groan. "So, you want me to send her over?"
"Yes. It's not as if I have any other options," she said as she looked over at Professor Allenford, who was now a gibbering wreck. "Tell her I'll meet her there."
"Will do," Wade replied before the connection was ended.
Justine would have preferred Kim Possible, but someone she had allegedly deputized should be acceptable, especially if Wade Load vouched for her. He was, after all, almost as smart as Justine, in her not-so-humble opinion …
IX.
"This is Tricia Labowski in Downtown Middleton where what appears to be a dinothingy is rampaging through the business district. Authorities tell us that they are doing everything to bring the monster in."
She then turned to Officer Hobble.
"Do you have anything to add to that?"
"Aye, we're waiting for Team Possible before we go after the beastie."
"I see …" The basso voiced newswoman was interrupted when a production assistant handed her a piece of paper. Ever the professional, Tricia scanned and then read it aloud without betraying any emotion: "A spokeswoman for the Ethical Treatment of Rampaging Critters has said her organization has issued a demand that the animal not be harmed. What do you have to say about that?"
As if it wanted to get in its two cents, the dinothingy stomped on an ice cream truck.
Hobble responded. "Oh, yes, Ma'am. You can tell those young people that we'll be handling the beastie with kid gloves."
Of course, since Hobble was, as usual, wearing his aviator sunglasses, nobody could see him roll his eyes. As far as he was concerned, Miss Possible and her sidekick could whump this thing back to outer space or wherever it came from.
X.
"I am on-site, Wade-san," Yori said into her headpiece as she completed her HALO jump and landed in a manner that would have done Kim proud.
"Okay, it seems that things are a bit more complicated."
"I see. I am not going to like this am I?"
"Nah. I'm sure you can deal with this situation, especially since I'll be there in a minute. It's just weird."
XI.
The Cow 'n' Chow staff didn't know what to make of their visitor.
Corporate Policy said the customer was always right but had nothing to offer on what to do when they were as annoying as a washed-up TV personality. The vaguely familiar man at the counter was wearing an eighties-style suit, a too-long tie, a bad combover, and had a physique that suggested he didn't listen to his personal trainer if he had one.
"You!" he barked, his skin a sickly shade of — well, the young woman at the counter didn't know what color it was, though she did know she did not like the way the man was looking at her.
"Yes sir?"
"I've heard your food is beautiful. Of course, since I'm here, it has to be, even if just by association with my awesomeness. After today, you'll be known as Number One. The headlines will be yuge …" he went on, self-promoting for another five minutes before he said, "I'll have five Fatt Matts, and a giant diet covfefe."
"A what?"
"And make it on the house!"
"Sir?"
"You're going to get so much free advertising from my visit, you should be paying me. Trust me, it'll be amazing."
Convinced that this situation was way beyond her minimum-wage paygrade, the young woman simply said, "Uh, I'll need to talk to my boss …" Before she could, though, she screamed. It wasn't every day that one saw a giant dinothingy making its way to the fast-food restaurant where one worked.
XII.
"Thank you for joining me, Wade-san," Yori said.
"Well, this is a nice change of pace and I needed to get out of my room," the tech guru said – or at least his image on the Wade-Bot's view screen did. "Where is Justine meeting us?"
"She merely said we should meet her here. I have to presume this is the correct location," she answered, pretty sure of her response given the large reptile currently stomping, smashing, and roaring its way to the Cow 'n' Chow …
To Be Continued …