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Chapter 4
Bella-
18 months ago
The sweet scent of sugar led me down the block and the persistent rumble of my hungry stomach lured me toward the trash can. If someone had told me six months ago, I'd be so desperate as to weed through the garbage I would've told them they were insane.
The tears were gone, fleeing with my pride, and there I stood staring at the wasted donuts and cupcakes littering the trash. I glanced back and forth ensuring I was alone. It was barely five in the morning, and only one car sat in the lot. If I hurried I might retrieve a sugary treat without anyone being the wiser.
In the cover of darkness, I watched my breath turn to frost. Rubbing my hands together hoping the friction would create some warmth in my frozen fingers, I gnawed my lower lip, my gut twisting with hunger. Swallowing the last bit of self-worth I had, I shifted the contents of the garbage until I spotted two donuts that hadn't already been bitten. Eagerly, I retrieved my breakfast, lifting the pastry to my nose and inhaling deeply. I could almost taste the sugar dissolving on my tongue, and I had yet to take a bit.
Creme Center.
The overhead sign came on startling me. Upon instinct, I hid my bounty behind my back, the urge to run overwhelming me when I heard the back door swing open. Instead of darting, I froze to the spot beneath my feet. Maybe if I stayed very still no one would notice my presence.
Apparently, life didn't even see fit to gift me with a simple donut because a woman called across the parking lot. "Hey!"
I was busted. For the first time in a month, my eyes filled with tears. I'd just wanted a donut. With as much dignity as I could muster, I met cool blue eyes. I held the donuts where the blonde could see them, an apology falling off my lips. "I'm sorry. I-I was just hungry … I didn't mean to cause any trouble."
The weirdest thing happened. The woman grimaced and shook her head wandering across the lot. "I saw you from the window." She stopped before me, holding her hand out. "I'm Rose. I don't want you eating from the dumpster."
I accepted her hand, astonished when she shook my fingers. Over the course of the last several months, people had stopped viewing me as a person. Most brushed me off, while others turned a blind eye to my existence. I shrugged, "I would've bought 'em, but I don't have any money."
"I didn't think you did," she stated simply, gesturing to the bakery behind her. "I own this bakery, and if you promise not to tell everyone in Chicago, I'll give you a few donuts and a cup of coffee if you come through the door."
Cautiously, I followed her to the back door and was so surprised when she offered me the table in the back corner. "Give me a few minutes, and I'll have you a couple of donuts and fresh coffee, okay?"
I didn't know how to respond. This was the first act of kindness I'd been shown in months. Silently, my gaze roamed over racks and racks of fresh-baked pastries. My greedy fingers itched to grab the food and cram as much down my shirt as I could. Forcing myself to remain civil, I glanced around the room, noting her purse hanging near the back door. I could have her bag and be gone before she could blink.
I resisted the nagging urge. Never bite the hand that feeds you. How could I steal from someone being so kind?
"What kind of donut would you like?" She asked, coming back in view with a steaming cup of coffee.
I immediately wrapped my frozen fingers around the styrofoam cup. "Can I have a long one with the creme in it?"
"Do you want Boston creme or whipped filling?"
"Whipped filling," I mumbled lifting the coffee to my lips. I normally didn't drink coffee but the promise of its warmth was more than I could refuse.
She placed a plate with two donuts before me. "What's your name?"
"Isabella, or Bella," I replied as I crammed a mouthful of pastry into my mouth.
"Well, Bella, you come to see me once a week and I'll make sure you have a donut or two."
I stared at the cash stacked in neat rows on the comforter of my bed. The green ink of the bills stood out against the solid black blanket, making my pulse race like a thoroughbred during the Triple Crown. The rushing in my ears had my anxiety reaching a peak, and I felt slightly faint. Blowing a deep breath, I brushed off the foreboding threatening to steal my initial excitement aside, my gut twisting. "I'm being ridiculous. There's no way anyone will ever know who took the money."
A hundred thousand dead presidents stared accusingly back at me. Some of their green eyes glared while another slid a wink in my direction. The angel and devil sitting on opposite shoulders at full-on war. The angel was compassionate her message full of caution, warning me to return the money before anything unforeseen happened, while the demon whispered in the opposite ear, no one would ever know, and who gave a shit if they did.
While I'd been robbing Mike the temptation at my fingertips had been too great to ignore. On a whim, and with the hounds of hell nipping at my feet, I'd raced home with the strap of the bag weighing heavy on my shoulder. Who would've ever guessed a hundred thousand dollars could be so hard to carry? And I'm not just referring to the bills in the bag, but the burden of paranoia that came with it.
All the way home I had this feeling of being watched, being followed. Prying eyes that never noticed me before tracing every step I made until I slipped into the safety of the apartment I shared with Alice and Irene. Even when I closed and locked the door, I had this insane urge to run close all the windows.
Edward Cullen.
Edward Cullen.
Edward Cullen.
I had no idea why that name kept coming to mind, but it wouldn't leave me the hell alone. Swallowing tightly, I gathered the stacks of cash, and neatly piled them in the bag.
I could do so much with this money it was insane. I could move out of Chicago, and find a cheaper place to live. I could rent an entire apartment to myself for a whole year. I could buy a car. I could fund some education, and leave the life of petty crime behind. I wouldn't have to face strange men, risking my safety and welfare ever again. That in itself was the motivation for me to keep the money in this bag. Yet, while keeping this money, the threat of its true owner finding me left me in a sticky position.
The digits on the clock next to my bed glowed red. Three-thirty. Alice should be walking into the apartment at any moment. Shoving the last bundle of money in the bag, I zipped the duffle up tight and shoved it under my bed. The fucking time was crawling by, and I really needed to consult with Alice before making any rash decisions. My impatience was reaching new heights when the clock turned to three-thirty-five, anxiety ripping and clawing at my gut with a vengeance.
Mild relief eased some of my concern when I heard the click of the deadbolt on the front door. When Alice pushed into the apartment, I rushed into the living room. "Finally!"
Her head jerked back in surprise. "What the hell happened to you? You were supposed to come back in and let me know you were okay. That's how this works, Bell. You need to remember … "
"Alice!" I yelled in a state of rising panic. "I don't want to hear the lecture. I need you to come to look at what I found. Right now," I added when she hesitated to follow me into my room. Pulling the duffle from under the bed, I chewed my lip, urging her closer. "I found a mini-miracle tonight, but I don't know what to do."
Alice resembled a goldfish gulping air as she stared down into the bag. "Where the fuck did that come from?" She reached forward, yet yanked her hand back as if it were a rattlesnake instead of cash. Her eyes were the size of saucers when she lifted her gaze to mine. "Tell me this wasn't in that guy's car. Tell me you didn't take this from that guy." When I didn't immediately respond, her hands flew into her hair, her skin paling. "Bell, that guy will come back looking for that money. Shit, what did you do?"
My salvia stuck in my throat when I tried to swallow, my panic escalating. The one person who normally calmed me down in these situations was close to losing her mind. "I don't know. I don't know. I wasn't thinking. I just saw the money and fuck!" Every inch of my body burned with very real fear, the tension thickening in the air. "It's too late now. I have it. We have it. What should I do?"
My best friend in the world paced my room like a caged panther. Finally, she stopped and faced me. "Maybe it will be okay. Not one of the other men we've drugged has ever returned. Maybe he won't remember."
I twisted my fingers nervously. I wanted to believe her, but the angel on my shoulder blew a steady stream of bullshit in my ear. "What are the chances of that?" She was shaking her dark head when the forbidden name echoed through my thoughts. Edward Cullen. "Does the name Edward Cullen mean anything to you? I keep …"
"What?" Alice's voice was so shrill I almost covered my ears. "Why would you bring up the biggest crime family in the city?"
"I-I …" An instant replay went through my mind as I looked at Mike's phone and tossed it aside. Crime family? What the fuck had I done? "I was getting out of Mike's car and his phone rang. I looked at it, and that name was on the screen."
Alice fisted her hair as she stared at me, very real terror filling her eyes, her lips starting to tremble. "Oh my fucking God, Bell. Shit."
"D-do you think it might have been his money?" What kind of nightmare had I jumped into? Wringing my hands, I cursed my idiocy. I should've known this was too good to be true. Nothing ever came without a cost. My heart seized in my chest when Alice's phone chimed to life.
I watched in slow motion as she withdrew her cell from her back pocket. She looked at the screen, and ever-so-slowly, her gaze met mine. "This isn't good, Bell. Sam …" She didn't finish her sentence, accepting the call she lifted the phone to her ear. "Hello?"
I could hear Sam's frantic tone seeping from the receiver, but the look on Alice's face held me transfixed. I'd never witnessed Alice look fearful, but right then, she looked downright terrified.
One minute time seemed to stand still, and the next, everything happened at record speed. Suddenly, Alice was pulling a bag from the closet and tossing my clothes into it, shoving the duffle bag full of cash at me. "Go! You have to go! Right now. He's coming!"
I barely asked who before I was being pushed to the door. "You have to go, Bell. He is coming. Just go. Call me when you are somewhere safe." A tear slipped down her cheek, and she pressed a quick kiss to my cheek. "Go. I love you. I'll try and hold them off."
I didn't even hesitate. I raced out of the apartment and down the hall, taking the back staircase that led down into the alley. My vision blurred, tears filled my eyes, feeling like a coward as I left my best friend to contend with the dangerous predicament I'd put her in. I stumbled, pushing through the exit, nearly landing on my knees in my haste to escape. Righting myself, I glanced around the dark alley, contemplating my next move. Jostling the weight of two bags on my shoulders, I rushed toward a group of bushes. I'd just dropped down behind the foliage concealing my presence when the squeal of tires filled my ears.
The urge to vomit overwhelmed me until I nearly gagged. Slapping a hand over my lips, I held the sound at bay, cringing when the slamming of three different doors reached my ears. The tread of shoes connecting with concrete made me shiver as the crunch faded, I peeked around the bushes to find the street empty once again. Staying low, and with as much caution as I could muster, I slipped into the shadows.
Traffic began to increase, the city coming awake all around me. My legs were cramping with my effort to get the hell out of dodge, and just when I thought my knees would buckle, I saw the entrance to the subway. My vigor was renewed, and I rushed to the staircase, jogging in my hurry to leave Edward Cullen behind. I didn't pause until the train came to a screeching halt, the squeal of brakes clamping on rotors never sounding so sweet. As soon as the double doors opened, I stepped into the cab, collapsing back on the wall in relief.
It didn't take long for me to realize I was a goldfish trapped in a very large fishbowl. I watched the city whiz by as the train left the boarding tunnel. There was no escape. I couldn't dismiss my predicament. I knew no matter where I went a person of Edward Cullen's caliber would eventually find me. There might be over two million people in Chicago, but suddenly, I felt like I had a huge bullseye on my back. I could literally feel the imprint burning on my skin.
I could try to do the honorable thing and return the money, yet every dollar in this bag was one step closer to my future. How could I relinquish my one opportunity? As I contemplated my options, I thought about Alice, worry gnawing into my soul. Had she been able to dissuade the crime lord? Would he have believed her? Was she dead? Would he have hurt her? Would I be next? Would he float me in the river? Would he allow me to make this right?
The train screeched to a stop to pick up passengers, and before I even realized I was moving, I stepped out onto the platform. I stood there at a complete loss as to what my next move should be. I wandered to the railing staring down into the city I'd known and loved my whole life. A giant silver greyhound was so close it would have bitten me, and once again, my intuition controlled my feet until I was standing at the counter inside the bus station.
Cities from all over the country brightened the screens with arrival and departure times. My only hope of surviving was to leave. I could potentially go anywhere. The options were unlimited. Even if Edward Cullen somehow learned I'd abandoned this city, what was the likelihood he'd follow me to fucking California, or hell, New York City?
It didn't matter. I no longer had any choice. Holding my head high, I crept closer to the counter and the smiling clerk.
Clearing the doubt from my throat, and smashing my last bit of apprehension into a dark black hole inside my gut, I squared my shoulders. "I need to buy a one-way ticket to California. Can you tell me how much that will be?"
"Two hundred and fifty dollars," she returned, her bright smile never wavering. "The whole trip will be approximately two and a half days."
"Okay, thank you," I mumbled, backing away from the counter. As quickly as I could, I found the bathroom and locked myself into a stall. Unzipping the bag on my shoulder, I extracted four hundred dollars, my gaze resting on the mounds of cash inside. I could totally change my whole life, and I'd be a fool not to take it. I just wish I hadn't left Alice to contend with my mess.
Loyalty dictated my actions. I couldn't leave without knowing she was okay. Exiting the bathroom, I noted the lockers in the darkened hallway as I returned to the counter and purchased a ticket. The bus didn't leave until five which left me plenty of time to buy a phone and contact Alice. "Can you also give me a key to a locker? I have some running to do and this luggage is going to get very heavy."
I clutched the ticket and key to my chest when she passed them to me. This was my ticket to freedom. This was my ticket to a new life. This was a chance to shuck the anchor of my past. Feeling rejuvenated, I stuffed my change into my pocket and located the locker. Cramming both bags inside, I laid the boarding pass on top and secured the contents inside. I blew a deep breath, leaning against the cool metal, I watched the steady stream of passengers coming and going. The slamming of a locker a few feet away made me jump, my nerves on edge.
I needed to keep moving. I felt restless as hell, and then, a thought occurred to me. Even if I made it out of the city I had no identification. All those documents had been left behind the day Charlie ushered me from my home. I'd spent three years winging my life, and if I honestly wanted a fresh start, I had to get access to both my social security card and birth certificate.
Fuck.
That meant I had to return to that house. Of all the ideas I'd ever had, that was the craziest one to date, but the thought relentlessly nagged me. My stomach rolled, my heart thudding with growing dread. A tingle rippled down my spine adding to the jitters already plaguing me.
Shoving away from the locker, I dodged an elderly couple blocking my path, and headed out of the bus station. It was only ten in the morning, and Charlie was no doubt at work. I could easily sneak into the house and get my documents from the filing cabinet in his office. First, I needed to check on Alice. Anxiously, I hurried toward the Walgreens sign hoping to find a cheap burner phone.
I wound up buying the cheapest phone I could find. I had no intentions of keeping it, but until I heard Alice's voice, I'd never have any peace. After paying I wasted no time, jogging outside to tear into the thick plastic. Hopefully, the battery inside the pack would have just enough charge to place a call to Alice, hear her voice, and toss the damn thing into the trash. Impatience whirled within me as I tore the phone from the pack and went through the steps to activate the cell. Once I completed the last step, I dialed Alice's number, my gut a knotted fist. Biting my lip, I paced the sidewalk, urging her to answer.
"Hello?"
"Hey, babe? Are you okay?" Blindly I watched the traffic whiz by. Relief like I'd never felt before claimed me, and I nearly slumped into a heap on the sidewalk. "God, I can't tell you how good it is to hear your voice. What happened?"
"The biggest, scariest motherfuckers came into my apartment and searched it from top to bottom. I finally managed to convince them I didn't know anything, but they said they would be keeping an eye on this place." She paused, and then, continued, "You can't come back here, Bell. They are watching. There's a black SUV parked across the street."
I nibbled my fingernail. "Shit. Alice, I'm so sorry to put you in such jeopardy. I swear I won't come back and when I reach my destination, I will wire you some cash. I know it won't excuse what I've done, but maybe you will consider joining me."
"Joining you where exactly?"
I considered lying. The last thing I wanted to do was further endanger my friend by giving her information people would want to extract at all costs. This was Alice, however, my best friend, how could I keep such a secret from her? "I bought a ticket to California. The bus will be leaving around five. I just have a few errands to finish before I leave."
She sounded as if she'd started to cry when she answered next. "Stay safe, Bell. Let me know when you get where you're going. I love you, chick."
I nodded, whispering, "I love you, too."
Ending the call, I threw the phone in the first dumpster I came across. Before I could escape this town, I had one last thing to do. Turning toward the curb, I held up my hand, hailing a cab as it barreled in my direction. Nervously, I slid into the back seat.
I didn't relish the idea of entering that house that'd changed my life. It was the center of many nightmares, and with each passing mile, my skin began to crawl. With any luck, I could get in and out with no one being the wiser. The hope didn't alleviate the way my whole body responded, every muscle going tense until I felt like my arms and legs might just snap in two. When we pulled onto the street of my childhood home, my teeth began to chatter, and I had to question the sanity of my quest. I seriously thought about rolling out of Chicago and buying a whole new identity with the money from that bag.
"Stop here," I told the driver four houses down. Charlie and John should be at work until around three, but I didn't want the neighbors telling my dad I'd been here. "I'll give you twenty extra bucks to wait for me. I shouldn't be very long."
He barely grunted an answer. Throwing him a quick glance, hoping he'd be there when I came out of my worst nightmare, I climbed out of the car. Before I could rethink the wisdom of my actions, I forced my feet to move, fear clawing at my throat with every step. I nearly jumped out of my skin when a dog barked from the house next door. I closed my eyes and counted to ten, praying for calm as I hovered near the dining room window.
My dad generally kept this window unlocked because he enjoyed the breeze in the evening. I just hoped he hadn't changed that in the years I'd been gone. Cautiously, I reached for the window and I tested it to see if it was locked. When the window immediately lifted, I breathed a sigh, hoisting my weight through the opening. With a quick look around to ensure I was indeed alone, I inched further into the dining room.
My heart was in my throat and my pulse rushed in my ears as I came to a standstill. A part of me wanted to rip the house into shreds with my bare hands, but I had one clear mission, and I couldn't afford any delays. Goosebumps lifted on my arms when I turned for the staircase, nausea rolling in my stomach adding to my discomfort. Swallowing the urge to vomit, my arms slid around my waist, and slowly, I wandered up the stairs. The third step from the top squeaked. Even though I knew I was alone, I avoided the worn wood, moving further down the hallway. I didn't even spare my old bedroom a glance, not wanting to remember anything from that room, I hurried to Charlie's office. I had just pulled my documents from the filing cabinet when the sound of someone entering the front door echoed throughout the house. Panic overwhelmed me, the air freezing in my lungs. Gulping, I crept to stand behind the door, peeking through the crack into the hallway.
The thud of boots, and the clearing of his throat, had me facing my worst nightmare. John.
John was home. My hand immediately went to the knife tucked into my waistband. I would stab him straight in the heart before I ever let him touch me again. When a shadow passed Charlie's office, a flash of a white shirt, I felt faint. I couldn't even breathe. With the sound of a door opening and closing, I doubled over, gathering my courage.
I had to get the fuck out of there, yet all I wanted to do was follow him into that room and stick my knife in his gut. With all the self-control I could muster, I looked out through the crack before taking my chances, and moving out of the office. Time stood still as I hurried down the hall and came to the staircase. Careful not to make a sound I rushed down the stairs, and out the front door. My temper flared as I came out onto the front porch, and with all the anger and rage in my gut, I slammed that door into place.
Without a backward glance, I raced down the sidewalk, thankful to find my cab where I'd left it. I barely noticed the buildings we passed, my mind racing with the events of the last twenty-four hours. My eyes were starting to feel gritty, and all I wanted to do was escape into the oblivion of sleep. By the time I walked back into the bus station I was half dead on my feet. I felt like I'd waited a decade before the announcer called for passengers to board the Greyhound that would carry me away from all my problems.
I packed my bags into the overhead compartment and took my seat. I settled into the plush cushions, laying my head against the window, willing the last of the tension to ease. My eyelids began to droop before we ever pulled out of the lot, sinking further and further into a dark abyss, the exhaustion of the day finally taking its toll. As my new life filled my dreams, I never noticed the man taking the seat next to me.
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