Author's Note:
Aang
Aang couldn't access the Avatar state or his past lives. It didn't feel blocked, like it had after the lightning, but more like he hadn't opened his chakras yet. Which, he supposed, might make sense. He hadn't actually opened them yet. He would have to take some time to do that later. He still took a couple of hours just to meditate and try and work things out. By the time he unfolded from his meditation, he was pretty sure that he had worked out what had happened. He had failed. His attempt to take the Fire Lord's bending had backfired and he'd died. Then there had been a set of voices. He couldn't figure out what they had been saying, but those voices had been full of power, energy. Then he'd woken up in Katara's arms. This had to be the work of the spirits. He failed and they were giving him another chance, a chance to fix things. He wasn't going to waste it. He'd be more focused this time. He'd get it right. He had to. He got a distinct feeling that this do-over was a one time deal. There would be no more retries.
But for now, he had a little bit of time before he needed to leave the South Pole. Appa was still too tired to fly and Katara wanted to learn a little bit of waterbending. He wasn't going to deny her that. Especially since there was a good chance that he would be leaving her and Sokka here this time. He didn't intend to get captured by Zuko this time so there'd be no reason for them to follow and rescue him. They'd be much safer if they stayed here in their village and far away from Aang. Shaking off his morbid thoughts Aang put on a smile and made his way out of the igloo to give Katara her first real lesson in waterbending.
It didn't last of course. Soon enough the tell-tail soot-filled snow began to fall on the village, signaling the approach of Zuko's ship. The village flew into action, preparing as they could for the oncoming attack. Aang was somewhat surprised that Sokka didn't try and blame the Fire Nation's approach on him. But maybe knowing he was The Avatar made a difference to Sokka, or it could be that this time he and Katara hadn't set off the flare on the Fire Nation's ship. Either way, it was nice. Instead of being sent away, Aang found himself being bustled around, helping fortify the village. He sent Appa away to hide as they prepared. He tried to offer to be on the front line as the ship arrived, but his offer was shot down by both Sokka and Katara. Sokka because he was the warrior of their village and he would protect it and Katara because she didn't want to risk the Fire Nation knowing about him. Even now she had a good idea how bad that could be. Aang didn't argue with them. Soon enough their preparations were complete and all that was left to wait. Everyone was tense, but they did their best to keep things under control.
The time the ship should have arrived came and went and Aang found himself thrown for a loop. Why was this different? It didn't make any sense. Had the fact he didn't set off the flare change things that much? Just as the village was beginning to relax one of the children manning the wall called out an alarm. There were people approaching, not from the sea, but from behind the village. From where the wall opened up. People wearing Fire Nation clothing. Sokka scrambled down from his position on the wall and rushed to guard the only opening they'd left in the wall. A majority of the village rushed into their igloos and tents, hoping to hide out the coming confrontation. Uncertain exactly where to go, but unwilling to be too far away when things went wrong Aang took a position against the wall. From there he could hear what was happening, but he wasn't visible from outside the wall.
The Fire Nation arrived not long after that and Aang listened as Sokka charged them, only to be easily disarmed. But nothing after that made sense. That was Zuko's voice, but he didn't sound like he had when Aang had first met him. He wasn't angry or threatening. He sounded like he was trying to talk Sokka down, which made absolutely no sense. He couldn't see what was happening, but he didn't hear any fire. Katara's expression told him that Sokka was in a position that put him in danger, but nothing from Zuko's voice said that there was any real danger. Zuko was saying he didn't want to fight, which was very un-Zuko-like. Or at least un-early-Zuko-like. Then General Iroh was answering Kanna's question and Aang felt something freeze in his chest. How did Iroh know his name? That shouldn't be possible. He barely noticed Katara's gaze as he steeled his expression and stepped out into the open. They were looking for him and he wasn't going to keep hiding.
"You're looking for me?" It was hard to keep his voice even and cool, but he was pretty sure he managed it. Iroh looked about the same as he always had, though for some reason he wasn't wearing any armor. And Zuko. Zuko was staring at him. Not with the rage-filled obsession that had fueled him in the beginning. This was something else entirely. Zuko was looking at him like he had shortly after they'd gotten away from Azula. Concern, relief, affection. Aang's calm facade shattered.
"Zuko?" he couldn't keep his voice from shaking slightly as he took a small step closer to the older boy who had become a key part of their little family, even so late in the game. Zuko's eyes widened, one more than the other, and he stood up, letting Sokka go.
"Aang?" Zuko was calling his name. He wasn't calling him by his title. His voice was more fragile than Aang had ever heard him use before "You know me? You remember?" A sob of relief broke free of Aang's control and he managed to make himself nod before he lost control completely and ran to the older boy. He crashed into Zuko harder than was probably polite and he could feel how Zuko stumbled backward before catching his balance, but it didn't matter because a moment later Zuko's arms wrapped around him with the same fierce desperation that Aang was feeling. Aang buried his face into Zuko's shirt as sobs of relief shook him. He didn't know how they ended up kneeling on the ice, but that didn't matter either. Zuko was crying too, probably just as overwhelmed as Aang felt.
"I can't believe you're here!" The words escaped him before he realized he was talking, but once he started he couldn't stop "Katara and Sokka don't remember anything and I thought I was going to have to do it by myself!" He could feel Zuko tightening his arms around him, but somehow it felt easier to breathe.
"You aren't alone Aang. You aren't ever going to be alone again. I'm here and we'll figure things out. It's going to be alright." And that was exactly what Aang wanted to hear. But Zuko didn't know everything. So Aang forced himself to pull back enough to look up and meet his friend's tear-filled gaze.
"I'm sorry!" he blurted out. He could see that Zuko was going to reply, but he pressed on before he could "I failed! I was supposed to take him down and I failed! And now we have to do this all over again!" Zuko was shaking his head and shifting his arms to grip Aang's shoulders.
"You didn't fail Aang. You did your best. I should have done more to help you prepare. I-" Aang cut him off.
"No! I did! I could have killed him. I should have!" it was bitter, but it was the truth. If he'd killed the Fire Lord they wouldn't be here "You guys told me again and again, but I thought I could find some other way. I could have killed him! I had the chance, twice! And I let them slip away because I was too much of a coward to-" Zuko's hand was suddenly over his mouth and Aang was getting an up-close and personal experience with Zuko's fierce, determined gaze.
"Don't you dare say that!" Zuko's voice was closer to a growl than anything else "You are not a coward and I don't ever want to hear you talk like that again. You are one of the bravest people I know. You didn't want to compromise your beliefs. That isn't cowardness. That's strength. I'm sorry that I ever made you feel differently." He lowered his hand then and Aang's shoulders drooped.
"But I still failed," Aang pointed out, more tears leaking free "And the spirits had to step in to keep him from destroying everything else." Something shifted in Zuko's gaze, but Aang couldn't quite identify what it was.
"If you failed then I did too." What was Zuko talking about? "I had a chance to kill him too, back on the day of Black Sun." What? Aang hadn't known that. "He shot lightning at me. I could have sent it back at him. I should have, but I didn't. I couldn't make myself do it. If I had then we would still have needed to deal with Azula, but at least it would have been just one of them instead of both." Zuko grimaced then "Though I didn't do any better facing her either." Aang's expression must have shown his confusion because Zuko refocused on him to explain. "That's where I was during the comet, trying to deal with Azula. I challenged her to an Agni Kai. I was holding my own, I might have even won, but I was a fool." Zuko's voice shifted to the same bitter, self-hating tone that Aang hated hearing from him. He used it far more than he should "I taunted her. I got caught up in everything and I taunted her. Like we were kids again playing some sort of stupid game. And I got shot full of lightning for my trouble." Aang might have heard a strangled gasp at that, coming from behind him, but he barely notices it as he straightened in alarm and moved to bring his hands to Zuko's chest, checking for an injury that probably didn't exist anymore.
"What?!" his voice broke in alarm "How?! You know how to redirect lighting!" Zuko's self-deprecating half-smile was back.
"I forgot who I was dealing with. Azula doesn't care if she plays by the rules or not. She should have focused on me, it's not allowed to involve anyone else in an Agni Kai, but she didn't care. I should have known better." Only Zuko would blame himself for his sister's insane behavior "She was going to shoot Katara so I got in the way. I wasn't grounded properly or in the right position. I managed to catch it, but I couldn't redirect it, so I just. Held it, I couldn't let it get past me so I held onto it." Zuko's expression creased in remembered pain and one of his hands released Aang to move up and touch his chest, not far below his heart. Aang felt sick. "I think I managed to redirect some of it," Zuko continued as if Aang wasn't about to throw up on the ice next to him "But it wasn't enough. I couldn't move and Azula went after Katara. The last thing I remember was them fighting." He grimaced and rubbed his chest "I think I died."
A choked noise that Aang didn't quite name escaped his mouth before he tackled his firebending teacher into another hug, knocking them back into the ice. He could barely remember being hit by lightning himself, but he remembered how much it hurt. It had only been for a brief moment before the world went black, but it had been like no other pain he'd experienced before or after. Zuko had felt that pain too, but from the sound of it he didn't pass out or die right away. And knowing Zuko he probably tried to get up and keep fighting even though he'd just been electrocuted. Aang couldn't imagine the pain he must have been in, he didn't want to. And on top of that Zuko had died. Even if Aang had managed to beat the Fire Lord Zuko would still have been dead. Katara had used up all the spirit water on him back in Ba Sing Se. Somehow the idea of having to do things over again didn't sound as bad anymore. If he hadn't messed up he would have had to figure out how to move forward without Zuko. Possibly without some of the other too. Would Katara have survived her fight with Azula when Azula was charged by the comet? Would the others have survived whatever job they'd been doing? Aang would gladly do it all over again if they all survived to the end. They had to because Aang couldn't survive losing his family a second time.
"Perhaps we should take this conversation inside," the somewhat bemused voice of Kanna cut through the fog in Aang's mind and he suddenly remembered the fact that he and Zuko weren't alone. The way Zuko stiffened beneath him told Aang that the older boy had forgotten about their audience as well. This wasn't how he planned to explain things. He hadn't actually planned to explain things, but that was beside the point. He hesitated for a moment, but that was long enough for Zuko to tighten one arm around him before using his free arm to push them both into a sitting position. Once they were more upright Aang risked a look behind him. Kanna looked thoughtful and a little concerned. Katara's eyes were wide in shock, darting between Aang in Zuko as she clearly tried to wrap her mind around this new information. Sokka was gaping at them like the ice had just opened up beneath him and turned his entire world upsidedown. Which...might not be that far from the truth to be honest. Iroh...Iroh looked horror-struck. His breathing was slightly off, which wasn't good for a firebender Aang knew, and his overbright eyes were fixed on Zuko. Right, he'd just heard his nephew talk about dying a horribly painful death. That was probably rather hard to hear. Aang returned his attention to the woman who had cut through the fog in his mind.
"That might be a good idea," he agreed with a slightly sheepish smile. It looked like he was going to be explaining things after all. He felt it as Zuko carefully shifted and began to stand, actually taking Aang with him, before setting Aang on his feet. It would be easier to explain with someone else there. He wouldn't be doing this on his own. Kanna nodded, expression serious.
"Right, we'll use my igloo," her tone wasn't a suggestion and she turned away, clearly expecting them to obey "Katara, Sokka, come along. Everyone else," she made a shooing motion and the rest of her Tribe slowly broke away. He was pretty sure that the others were far enough back that they shouldn't have heard as much, but they were still obviously curious about what had happened. Not that Aang could blame them. Katara gave him another wide-eyed look before turning to follow her Gran-Gran. Sokka took a bit longer, clearly trying to gather his thoughts. After a short while, he did his best to school his expression into a more threatening glare and he pointed a threatening finger at the three remaining people.
"I don't know what's going on, but if any of you try anything I'll take you out!" He didn't bother waiting for a reply before he turned to storm after his sister, club gripped tightly in his hand. Aang looked back at Zuko then and he could tell that his friend was trying to collect himself, much like Aang was. So he did his best to give Zuko a reassuring smile. He was gratified to watch some of the tension leak out of the older boy's frame before his smile was returned. Zuko's smiles were rare, and very small, but they were always a blessing to see. So Aang counted that as a victory.
"We should follow them," Zuko pointed out, one hand coming up to lightly clasp Aang's shoulder "This is going to be a long conversation." Aang nodded his agreement, but his eyes darted over to where Iroh was still standing, looking rather sick by that point. Zuko followed his gaze over to his uncle and a moment later Zuko was letting go of his shoulder to move over and pull his uncle into a tight hug, probably hoping to calm him down. Wanting to give them a little privacy, Aang made his way over to the entrance of the village and settled against the wall to wait. Not that he had to wait long, it was only a couple of minutes later that Zuko and Iroh rejoined him, the General looking slightly calmer. Aang flashed Zuko another smile, relieved that the older boy was there more than he could properly express, before turning to lead them to Kanna's igloo.