Chapter 31

Rean didn't plan on catching a cold. He planned on practically baking himself on this fire until any chance of a cold was burnt away. When she came out with the soup, his nose had him shifting to look at her, his stomach gurgling again to remind him that he was famished and hadn't eaten all day.

"You are an angel, you know that?" He cradled the hot bowl between his finally warming palms, shifting his body so he was sitting facing her as Melyssa sank back down onto the floor with him. "Did Crow and Ash say if they found anything out down at the docks?" He asked, raising the spoon up to start blowing on the soup, pretty sure he was going to risk the burn because he was starving.

"No, I'm not an angel. I'm…I'm nothing. And I don't know because I was too busy wallowing in my grief to pay attention when they returned. I ended up falling asleep in my Papa's chair and someone carried me up to my room. You'll have to ask them in the morning." Melyssa couldn't meet his eyes and instead stared into the fire, the grief threatening to overtake her once again. She wasn't here. She wasn't here to protect her family and she felt worthless because of it. "Tomorrow, I'm going on the investigation with you, Rean. I'm going to help any way I can because, if I stay here and keep wallowing like this, I'm going to be swallowed whole in my grief. I need to continue the way of the sword and we have a job to do here." I'm coming, Dad, I promise, she silently vowed, wiping a stray tear from her cheek angrily.

Rean was silent, using the now cooled enough to eat without scalding his mouth soup as means to occupy himself, so he didn't have to reply. Instead, he thought about it, about her, about this situation. She had run away from home after fighting with her parents. He could not even begin to imagine the guilt she must feel now, coming home to find out a loved one was dead and another had been kidnapped. It had to be shredding her inside and here she was trying to put on a brave, stoic face for him.

"You can cry." He said softly once he was done with the soup, setting the bowl off to the side, so it was out of the way. "Melyssa, you can cry as much as you want, as much as you need too. It's the desire for revenge and vengeance that you can't succumb too."

He moved closer to her, cupping her face with his palm, his thumb moving to catch another tear. Crow had done that and look where it had landed him. She had too much potential to throw it away on things like vengeance, no matter how much she DID deserve it. Another tear fell and then another as they kept filling her eyes, the shame and guilt ripping her apart from the inside out.

"I-I have to be strong. My Papa wanted me to pursue the way of the sword and supported me. The Cutlass I wield was his and he gave it to me." It was more special to her than ever now that he was dead. She pulled away from Rean's touch, using both of her hands to wipe the tears away. "No, I've cried enough. When this is over and my Dad is safe and sound, I'll find time to mourn my Papa. Now isn't the time or place, not when my Mom is in danger now." With her father gone, Ouroboros could sweep in at any time and take her mother next. Whoever killed Papa will pay and I'll cut them down myself, another vow she made silently, knowing Rean wouldn't like hearing those words come out of her mouth. She was angry and had every reason to be. Melyssa would channel that anger and pain into being helpful, productive and strong instead of succumbing to it completely like Crow had.

"There is strength, Melyssa," He said quietly with conviction, knowing she heard every word he said clearly. "In acknowledging and embracing what some may view as weakness. It's one of the things that separates us from those in Ouroboros, one of the things that keeps us from becoming LIKE them. The tears mean you loved your Papa deeply, I'd be concerned if you didn't cry."

He was also concerned that too many people thought they had to bottle it up and carry on, avenge their dead, and it lead to accidents, innocents getting hurt. Or led the grieving down a path they might not be able to come back from. Again, Crow came to mind and he realized that it was because the situations here were so similar. It had been his own grandfather that had been murdered, same as hers. Same town. Same political positions. Close family friends. They were cursed, it seemed.

Slowly turning her head to look back at him, Melyssa didn't see her Instructor in the firelight. This was Rean Schwarzer, her friend, who was trying his best to comfort her. The tears glittered in her teal eyes and she shut them tightly, beginning to cry all over again.

"I…miss him…so much…" Her voice cracked as she buried her face in her hands and Rean pulled her against him this time, keeping his grip firm while his cheek rested on top of her head. "I-I never should've left home…I-I could've protected them if I hadn't been so selfish and stubborn about wanting to reunite with Crow! And look how well THAT turned out. The man doesn't even remember me, us, nothing of Jurai! Please Goddess, Aidios, whoever is listening up there, please take this pain away…please give me strength to save my Dad…" If Melyssa lost him, she didn't know if she'd be able to go on with her own life since she blamed herself entirely for her grandfather's murder. "T-This is my fault…I'm so sorry, Papa…"

Her tears were now soaking Rean's chest because she had moved her hands from her face in order to wrap her arms tightly around his waist. He wanted her to cry and let it all out and that was exactly what she was doing. Patiently, Rean listened to her crying and her pleas, her prayers to the Goddess to help her through this and ease the hurt. It was a sad song that he was sure the Goddess had heard a thousand times before and he wondered if it hurt Her any less or was She indifferent to it by now? All Rean did was hold her, occasionally moving a hand to stroke her hair, silently letting her know that he was here and he was listening, being her literal shoulder to cry on because that's what you did when you cared about someone. After a long while, her words tapered into cries and eventually those also faded into something ragged and heavy, as if she had cried herself hoarse and maybe she had.

"Melyssa?" He murmured, his lips brushing the shell of her ear.

Her breathing was ragged from both crying and sobbing, shivering when she felt Rean's breath and lips on her ear. Why did that feel good? Melyssa didn't want to move, pretty sure she had soaked Rean's chest and now her tears had dried into his skin, along with the rain outside, thanks to the fireplace. Slowly, she pulled back to look up at him, those fuchsia eyes burning down into her, piercing her very soul. Goddess help her, she really needed to check herself when it came to Rean because all she wanted to do was kiss him.

"Rean…" She croaked out softly, her voice hoarse and the moment he began leaning down, she pulled back, sniffling. "Sorry, I didn't mean to…break down on you like that…" As much as she wanted to explore these feelings for Rean, it was wrong and she couldn't pursue anything with her Instructor.

"No, it's fine, I think I kind of gave you permission." He smiled slightly at her, taking note of the way her tears had dried on her face, the firelight making those tracks glisten almost. "That's what I'm here for, if you ever should need me, Melyssa. I want you to remember that."

Because in the days to come, she'd probably need a friend and why was he thinking of himself as something that could potentially be more than her friend? She was his student and he knew she'd had feelings for Crow. After Crow's idiot move, he wasn't sure where she stood with the man, however.

"Thanks." Melyssa rose to her feet and sat in her Papa's chair, putting some space between her and Rean. "I think I'm tired enough to catch some more sleep. You really should do the same, Rean." Squeezing his bare shoulder, she stood up from the chair and scrubbed her hands down her face. "My Mom set you up in Papa's old room, if that's all right." He nodded and she did the same, feeling a lot of confliction when it came to Rean. Then there was Crow…and she couldn't even deal with him right now, not with everything else that was coming at her. "Goodnight." Padding up the stairs, Melyssa turned the corner to go to her room and froze at the sight of Crow standing in the hallway. He had a faraway look on his face and she took another step, this time making his head snap to stare at her with those fiery eyes. "If I woke you up, I apologize."

"No, you didn't. A branch hit the window and it startled me out of my dreams." Which wasn't necessarily a bad thing since he had been having the weirdest dreams, though at least this time, it wasn't anything to do with her being in a fish brining barrel. He reached out and hesitantly placed his hand on her shoulder, squeezing gently. "I remembered that, the barrel bit I mean, Lyssa." He flashed her a tentative smile, knowing his behavior with the kiss stealing and immediate panic attack afterwards had not left them on good terms.

"It's not…wait, what?" Melyssa's eyes widened, her hand slowly coming up to cover her mouth. Did he just call her Lyssa? Nobody else ever had – it was Crow's special nickname for her growing up. "What did you call me?"

"Lyssa…"

There was a hint of recognition in his eyes and familiarity when he said it a second time. Now, she wanted to cry for an entirely different reason, but instead, she placed her hand on top of his and squeezed. "You remembered what you used to call me. You're getting your memories back?"

Was this real? Or was she dreaming again? Maybe she fell asleep against Rean and she was still in front of the fireplace with him. She pinched her arm, just to make sure she wasn't dreaming and she wasn't, feeling that small zip of pain. This was both the last thing she needed to be told and the best thing in the world.

"Crow…"

Reaching out with a trembling hand, she touched the side of his face with newfound admiration in her own eyes. He was another person she couldn't lose. Now that he was regaining his memories, maybe Crow would finally remember just how close they used to be prior to him leaving Jurai.

"Lyssa," He said it again, it felt both familiar and weird, the way it just rolled off his tongue, but the way she smiled again when he used the nickname he had given her as a child… it was worth it. "I'm sorry I forgot everything, I don't… the memories ARE coming back. So many things snapped into place today or they felt familiar and I just knew… knew things, like where to go and what to look for, where." It was an odd feeling, having memories he possessed, but couldn't access just suddenly be there.

Despite what she found out and everything happening, Melyssa could not stop the smile that crossed her face when he called her 'Lyssa'. "It's not your fault." Melyssa meant that with every fiber of her being.

It was Duke Cayenne's fault. It was the deceased Giliath Osborne's fault for blackmailing Crow's grandfather. Duke Cayenne did not help matters at all by manipulating him into building his hatred for Osborne either. She didn't hesitate and wrapped her arms around his waist to hug him tightly, tears falling for an entirely different reason now. They weren't sad. They were full of happiness that she was slowly but surely getting HER Crow back.

"I'm just glad you're coming back to me and remembering. That's all that matters."

Considering how he had taken her first kiss without asking permission or her age, and then how he had acted after it had belatedly come to him about her age… the fact that Melyssa was willingly touching him again had something stirring inside of Crow.

"Melyssa? Are you-" Rean had been finally moving to his room, Papa's room, which he had learned was downstairs. He had heard her and come up to check, turned and hesitated, coming to see if everything was all right. She was standing there with Crow, looking much happier than when she had been downstairs. "All right?"

Rean was in nothing but a towel. Crow's red eyes widened for a moment before narrowing. "You got in late."

"The storm had me delayed." He kept his voice down, not wanting to wake anyone. "I thought you may have called for me." He inclined his head at Melyssa. "Good night." Right back down the steps he went, holding tight to the towel with one hand.

As much as she wanted to go after Rean, it felt as if her feet were glued to the flooring and her arms would not release Crow. All she had done was turn her head to look at their Instructor/friend and now she was looking up at Crow, who had an unreadable expression on his face. Was he…irritated? Why?

"I was already downstairs when he came in from the storm and I started the fireplace for him and warmed him up some soup." There was no way she was telling Crow about her breakdown on Rean. Some things were better left unsaid. "Are you okay, Crow?"

Crow's face went blank for a moment before he gave her a half-smile, nodding his head. "Yeah, I'm fine, Lyssa, just tired is all." It had been an extremely long day and he was going to pass back out, hopefully without any more strange dreams or branches hitting his window. "Try to get some sleep." He shoved a naked, minus a towel, Rean right out of mind, knowing it wasn't his business when it came to Melyssa and Rean, not that there WAS anything going on there.

That would probably violate some rule or something since they were student and Instructor.

There was NOTHING going on between her and Rean and there never could be, not until she wasn't his student anymore. That was two years from now and there was no way he'd wait for her. Why was Melyssa even thinking along those lines in the first place?

"You too. Goodnight, Crow and…welcome back." Squeezing his arm, she walked into her room and shut the door, pressing her back against it.

He may have stolen her first real kiss and hurt her feelings with the rejection, but her heart was wide open for him now that his memories were returning. Touching the stone around her neck, Melyssa knew she was in trouble because she also had forbidden feelings for her Instructor. She couldn't deny the chemistry and attraction she had with Rean, not to mention their connection.

There was definitely something there, she just didn't know what it was yet.