Faith in Strangers

Chapter 3 – Fresh Air

1:15am June 21st 2012

"I never actually spoke to her again after that," I said quietly.

Judy turned to me, looking slightly stunned, "What? Why not?"

"I guess I never had the courage," Playing with the fur on my ear, I sighed, "She used to call me all the time, almost every day after the argument, but I never picked up, I just listened to all the voicemails. The last one she left was about two years ago, telling me she'd moved to somewhere in PA."

A small hint of sadness twinged the rabbit's face, "Didn't she come look for you?"

I nodded, "But I didn't stay at Finnick's for long, and by the time my Mom was knocking on his door, I had my own place. Plus, I wasn't around to pay half the rent anymore, so she had to leave Sahara Square eventually."

Noticing her concerned expression, I continued with a wry chuckle, "Don't worry, I'm disgusted with 'nineteen year old me' too, you don't have to hide it. I was definitely a massive asshole."

"No, no, I'm not here to judge," Judy faltered, "I just can't imagine living like that."

"Well, consider yourself lucky," I quipped before pushing the already open truck door out of my way, "Make sure you keep talking to your folks, Carrots."

Awkwardly, I slid off my seat and climbed out onto the road, keeping my shoulder rigid and making doubly sure I didn't tread in the puddle of vomit. The bullet wound complained, and I cursed under my breath.

"Wait, where are you going?" I heard the bunny ask from the driver's seat.

"Just need some air," I replied.

In truth, talking about my Mom had made me feel slightly sick, all the liquor I'd drunk had just reached my head, and the confined space of the truck's cabin wasn't helping my nerves. As I inhaled, the distinctly rural smells that filled my nose became more and more satisfying. Huge cities like Zootopia had a habit of giving me a headache with their polluted melting pot of scents, and that made this new simplicity a welcome change.

"You're allowed to get out of the truck too, ya know," I said, leaning against a headlight.

After a pause and some shuffling, Judy opened her door, hopped out and walked over. She perched herself on top of the truck's hood, letting her legs swing off the ground.

"You don't happen to have any smokes on you, do you?" I questioned.

She shook her head, "Sorry, I don't smoke."

"Figures," I mumbled.

For a moment the bunny looked to be contemplating something, "I don't wanna sound presumptuous, but I've seen pictures of mammals who abuse howler, and you certainly haven't got the same 'half-rotted look' that most of them have. I thought just taking it once was enough to get you addicted?"

That made me chuckle, "I wouldn't say I was addicted, I can still function, and most of those far-gone cases are mammals who've been using the highly concentrated junk. That really fucks you up, can make you super-violent and shit."

"And you've sold that?" She asked curiously.

My smile died, "I...Yeah, I have..." I fumbled for some words, "Look, I never want those mammals to end up like that, it... It's just the way it all works."

Judy shivered as a gust of wind caught us, "Everyone has things they wish they hadn't done."

"Too right, I'm quite good at collecting those" I replied, taking out the bottle of whiskey and tipping back a mouthful.

Her brows furrowed in thought and she went silent.

"What's on your mind?" I inquired.

"Was it this Finnick guy who got you involved in everything?" she questioned hesitantly, "It sounds like you've been friends for a while."

I swallowed audibly, rubbing my eyes with the gun still in my right paw.

"I think I was about ten or eleven when I met Fin", I said, "he was even more of an asshole back then."