SHADOW OF DEATH

Chapter 36: Failure

Jane felt entirely purposeless. Loki had brought her to Wakanda to forge a means of creating her own Einstein-Rosen Bridge and she was no closer to that goal than the day she stepped foot through the illusory forest. In the past eleven months since she arrived in Wakanda, Shuri and she had successfully helped the Asgardian prince destroy two Infinity Stones, wield a Jotun relic as a portable wormhole creator, and fallen headfirst into all the ways Vibranium could be used to expand the range of her telescopes, but she never managed to create a bifrost. Now, Loki was gone… and she did not know what to do with herself next.

She was an astrophysicist, not a genius inventor. Shuri could master anything from neurology to civil engineering to rocket science without so much as breaking a sweat or getting a headache. Jane was not a 'jack of all trades' scientist. She had been called 'brilliant' and 'insane' in almost the same breath enough times to know she was a little of both. Even with whatever tampering the Mind Stone did to her brain, she still wasn't much good for inventing machines outside of those useful for her studies of the stars.

It was Loki who had brought her to Wakanda. Now, with him traipsing across the universe in search of Infinity Stones, Jane had absolutely no idea what to do with herself. Shuri did her best to keep Jane occupied and made clear that she was welcome to stay based on her own merit (and the fact that the princess inexplicably enjoyed her company).

Before he left, Loki hadn't really told Jane to stay or leave but then again, he hadn't said much at all, other than inquiring into all she had learned of the Casket of Ancient Winters. With so much on his mind, he had been moody and distracted and so she hadn't bothered to ask. She tried to tell herself that she stayed in Wakanda of her own free will. Afterall, she wasn't beholden to the Asgardian. He was not the one to direct her steps. She was helping him of her own volition… even if her choice had originally been garnered through manipulation and deception. Now, though, she did not want to leave for fear she would miss his return. However, she could not explain to herself why that should matter as much as it did. If she did leave, would he even notice? Why should she care, either way? Yet, it did. What was her purpose to him now? To anyone?

It wasn't like universities were clamoring for professors. After the Fall and the subsequent chaos, tertiary education was one of the areas hardest hit by the turmoil. Funding for research took the backseat to rebuilding vital infrastructure and more universities were cutting back on staff than were seeking to hire new instructors. She doubted she could find another grant, let alone a teaching position. Her entire world had been turned on its head and she doubted she could even grasp all that had changed during her absence.

She briefly considered seeking out Nick Fury and seeing if SHEILD could use her in some capacity. However, she dismissed this almost as soon as she considered it. There was no way she could hide the whole "oops, I became a superhuman" issue. Of all agencies in the world, SHIELD was one of the most likely ones to notice and ask difficult questions. "Secret Scientist Accomplice to the would-be conqueror of Earth" didn't exactly look that great on a resume for SHIELD… so SHIELD was out of the question. However, what else could she do? Then again, all these worries could prove to be like building a wooden fence to contain a hurricane if Loki failed to destroy the remaining Stones. Loki was hellbent on preparing for the possibility of a second, and far worse, alien invasion. Without the Infinity Stones, would that no longer occur, or was that future possibility unavoidable? If it did occur, would it be in two months or twenty years? Jane didn't know and all the uncertainty made her feel like she was grasping for straws which were blown away before she could even brush against them. In the meantime, she would remain in Wakanda, though this held its own challenges.

In Wakanda, she stood out like a sore thumb. She genuinely enjoyed Shuri. The princess, despite the chasm of age and culture between them, had become one of Jane's closest friends. However, as long as she remained in Wakanda, she would forever and always be an outsider. She existed in a bubble of a handful of outsiders in one of the most xenophobic countries on earth. She could feel the distrust and concern like a palpable wave everything she left the confines of the palace and she was not even allowed into the city by herself, even after so many months in the country.

She understood. Dr. Njeri had explained Wakanda enough where she did genuinely understand, however that did not make it easier to endure.

"How do you manage it?" Jane asked Dr. Njeri once, after witnessing an incident in the marketplace.

"You choose to accept it," Dr. Njeri had told her with a wan smile. "I, at least, can look like I blend in and not be noticed… at least until I speak and my accent gives me away, as it did today. You, well, you will never look like you belong, not even if you had been born here. There is so much distrust for people who look like you that you are forced to pay for the sins of your ancestors. You are not merely 'Jane Foster' here. You are 'American' and 'mzungu' and 'foreign' and a 'colonizer'. Each of those labels carries a myriad of symbols and meanings, which you do not fully understand, but which have deeply emotive meanings for the people here. You are dangerous, not because of being 'Jane Foster' but because of who and what you represent… and the parts of you which you had no choice in embodying."

Jane managed to befriend the woman who cleaned her room. She was a cheerful woman who loved to tell stories and who easily laughed at all of Jane's clumsy attempts to learn to navigate Wakanda. She also got to know a handful of diplomats who came to the palace and liked to ask her questions. She was amiable with the Dora Milaje soldiers and the handful of fellow scientists who floated through the expansive underground laboratory. They, at least, shared a common language in 'science' and gathered around a shared passion of learning. Still, she knew nothing of their lives outside the lab or saw them outside their working hours. She spent the most time with the Wakandan royal family. They were nothing if not polite and hospitable to her. The Wakandan Prince was as cordial and calm as Shuri was brilliant and scattered. He spent nearly as much time in Shuri's lab as Goose, but only to seek out his sister's companionship and not to partake in her research. His presence brought an energy and warmth to both Shuri and the space she inhabited which invigorated the princess more. Yet, it was only Shuri who Jane would call a genuine friend.

Well, Shuri and Loki.

She missed Loki… though she would never wish to admit it out loud (damn him and his arrogant assurance that she would miss him- never mind that it was true).

Yet, he didn't come. Day after day, he didn't come.

So, she waited.

She busied herself by assisting Shuri around the lab, even with menial tasks and work she knew Shuri gave her just to make her feel useful. She made trips outside the city to where she could see the stars, though never quite as far as she had travelled with Loki. She practiced using Mjolnir to expand the range and extent of her new gifts and she tried to focus on training her newly enhanced body. This was the most tedious of all.

It's not that she minded the exercise. Daily training regimes with the Dora Milaje and the quiet, reserved former soldier forced her to build skills and strength she never had before. However, she did not relish fighting… even pretend fighting… and she much preferred the world of ideas and theories and hypotheses to battle strategies and combat prowess. Loki had adamantly insisted she comply. She supposed she could have refused, but the knife he planted in a tree an inch from her temple was nothing if not persuasive.

"Until you can block such a strike, you must train more," Loki had chided while the hilt of the knife still vibrated in the bark. Her protesting scream and glare did nothing to dissuade him. He only stalked toward the nearby figure of Sergeant Barnes with an imperious glower and commanded the man to work her harder. "She has the senses and strength that could rival yours. She should not be taken so unaware again. Push her harder."

The soldier had granted the Asgardian a disinterested nod and quietly increased her training regime. She doubted he enjoyed it anymore than she did, but they both complied nonetheless. Shuri, wishing to cheer her up, volunteered to train with her and performed her own significantly downscaled and "regular-human" version of their exercises. Shuri's enthusiasm and humor did make Jane's training more palatable… and Shuri's secret, self-appointed task of causing Sergeant Barnes to crack a smile during each session also helped.

Shuri, too, had been more melancholy than usual during Loki's absence. She attempted to maintain her usual cheer, but Jane could tell it was sometimes forced and that the princess was often distracted or anxious. When Jane asked about it, Shuri only shrugged and said that "preventing the destruction of the universe will make anyone distracted." Yet, it was Goose who seemed to share Jane's sentiments the most.

Goose never quite forgave Jane for her part in its separation from Loki. When Shuri placed Goose in a vibranium cage with Mjolnir on top, the look of pure betrayal the creature gave them both would have been enough to scathe them through. The cage only kept Goose contained for three minutes, but it was long enough for Loki to harness the Casket of Ancient Winters and slip past Goose's reach. The caterwaul that Goose gave upon discovering Loki's disappearance was heard across the border and the Flerkin had hissed at both Shuri and Jane each time it saw them approach from then on.

"Goose, Loki asked for you to stay. I was only doing as he asked," Shuri pleaded, genuinely upset by the grudge Goose held. She tried all of Goose's favorite snacks and sought out the Flerkin for weeks, but Goose failed to do anything but glare and set its ears against its head. It spent its days either locked away in Loki's room or stalking the borders of Wakanda – as if waiting for Loki's return.

"I wonder why Goose is so loyal to Loki," Jane observed to Shuri, one day. "Are all Flerkins like this or is there something about Loki? Loki didn't seem like he wanted the Flerkin around at first, but Goose stuck to him anyways."

"Eh?" Shuri said with a shrug. "Maybe it is an alien thing and Goose wants to be with the only other alien around."

"Maybe."

Jane recognized the logic behind this… even more as she found herself seeking out Dr. Njeri and Sergeant Barnes more often the longer Loki was away. It didn't matter that Bucky came from a different time period or that Joyce was from a different country, they were all three "not Wakandan" and that was enough to give them something in common. She could understand Goose wanting to be around another non-Earthling, but her instincts told her it was something else, something more. From Goose's idle, purposeless existence, she saw a mirror of herself and her own lack of direction in Loki's absence.

Perhaps Jane (and Goose) would have continued their anxious vigils indefinitely until the Asgardian returned, if Wakanda had not received a set of unexpected visitors a few weeks into Loki's absence.

Jane had just been finishing her breakfast when a Dora Milaje soldier rushed into the dining hall, her posture rigid and intent. She bee-lined across the hall to where Jane sat and bent down to whisper in her ear.

"Dr. Foster, the King commands that you immediately pack up all of your belongings and research and any that belong to the mgeni. Not a single foreign article may remain in the palace. A vehicle will be waiting for you in the landing bay to transport you, Sergeant Barnes, the Princess, and the Queen Mother to Jabari. You have one hour to comply and anything you leave behind will be destroyed."

"What's going on?" Jane asked, her heart starting to pound in her chest.

"We have received reports that a helicarrier has landed outside the borders of Wakanda and an armed force is disembarking as we speak. Their leader, a man who calls himself Director Nick Fury of SHIELD, has requested an immediate audience with the King. The King does not know what they want or how much force they are willing to exert to obtain it. He and the Prince are departing to our public capital in Masaka as we speak."

For a moment, Jane rejoiced. If SHIELD was here, they could help. They could be warned of Thanos and the Infinity Stones and help prepare Earth for what was coming. Then Jane remembered just who those warnings had come from… and how hesitant she, herself, would have been to receive warnings from such a source before she knew Loki as she did now. And it's not like she and SHIELD had the best rapport in the world if she tried to vouch for him. No, if SHIELD was knocking on Wakanda's front door and the King wanted her hidden in the attic rather than greeting their visitors with open arms, she figured she should comply.

"I'll go pack," Jane said, standing to her feet and glancing around the dining hall for any sign of Shuri. The Dora Milaje soldier nodded her head and made to follow her. At Jane's raised eyebrow the woman motioned for Jane to continue on.

"Are you here to make sure I comply or to keep me out of trouble?" Jane asked over her shoulder as she walked to her room.

"Both," the soldier said with an impassive expression. "My orders are to stay with you until you are in Jabari."

"Oh," Jane said. "Wait, you are coming with us?"

The soldier nodded.

"Well, ok. What's your name, then?"

"T'Sega," the woman answered, clicking her tongue on the first syllable. When Jane tried to repeat it, the woman's impassive expression melted into one of bemused exasperation.

When Jane got to her room, she dashed about it in a frenzy trying to gather all her belongings. Her superhuman abilities had not included an affinity for super-neatness. If anything, she had only managed to make her room fall into greater disarray after her transformation and now her possessions were scattered without any underlying order or attempt at organization. She franticly shoved them all into her suitcases and backpacks until she ran out of space. What had once all fit into her bags now overflowed from the bulging zippers and she realized she had been collecting things ever since she arrived. With a frustrated huff she scanned the room until her eyes fell upon her bed. She quickly pulled off the pillowcases from the bed and filled these, too. Satisfied that nothing of value remained, she rolled everything to the hallway where she found three servants waiting. They clasped their hands together in front of them in greeting and then took her luggage from her.

She glanced down the hall at Loki's closed door and she swallowed deeply. Loki wasn't here and they were fleeing Wakanda. She had no idea how to get ahold of him or how to make sure he was ok. If he were bleeding out on Xander, she would have no idea, no way to help, no way to know if he would ever come back. If he did come back, how would he know where to find them?

She opened the door to his room. It was stale with disuse and she realized the housekeepers hadn't come since the last time she was in this room, when she last brought him breakfast. Loki had never cleaned it, either, despite the intervening weeks. His belongings were still cast everywhere, though not quite so many remained as she had remembered before. She realized that she would need to pack his stuff up, too.

As quickly as she could, she swept all the objects she could find into the wooden chest in the corner. She searched under the bed and found a pair of boots, each with the toes chewed out, and a comb formed out of some kind of shell. She felt the weight of her intrusion on his privacy but there was nothing for it. When she saw his three jars on his dresser, she paused. She warily grabbed the jar filled with bits of sand and pebbles and placed it into the chest, just in case, before she considered the flowers. These, she placed in a trash bag and also placed into the chest - in hopes that if they survived a nuclear blast then they could also survive a day locked away in a bag.

When the room was free of alien articles, she heaved the heavy chest through the door, suddenly grateful for her superhuman strength. She found T'Sega and four more servants waiting for her there. These took the chest, though they strained with the weight of it, and T'Sega watched her for her next movement.

"I suppose the lab is next," Jane said.

"The Princess has already taken care of the lab," T'Sega answered. "It is time to go."

Jane nodded and it was her turn to follow the guard through the palace halls. A small aircraft waited for them in the landing bay, its engine already whirring. Inside, its occupants greeted Jane with somber, worried faces. Jane strapped herself into one of the seats and watched as T'Sega and three more Dora Milaje filed into the plane and took over the cockpit controls. The door closed and the plane took off.

"Will Baba be alright?" Shuri asked her mother beside her. Jane had seen Shuri take on crazed supersoldiers and possessed aliens without flinching. She was so used to seeing the Wakandan princess walk with so much strength and unflappable confidence that she often forgot how young Shuri still was. Now, cowering into her chair with her head pillowed on her mother's shoulder and her tear-stained eyes trained on her mother, she looked every inch the seventeen-year-old girl.

"I do not know," her mother answered, her head held high but her eyes troubled.

"I do not want to leave T'Challa."

"You know what Baba said."

"I know. I know. Wakanda needs a ruler and I have to place the kingdom over my brother. I liked that better when it was only emergency protocol and not something I actually had to do."

"I know, Toto. Your father, your brother, they are both wise and strong. They wish you safe and hidden."

Bucky sat uncomfortably nearby; his figure so large he nearly overwhelmed the condensed seat. He stared, unseeing, out the window as Birnin Zana shrank to glittering shards of light and rivers of trains and cars against the bright blue water of the lake.

"Goose refused to come," Shuri said, hitching on a sob. She directed the statement to Jane. "I tried everything but it refused."

"It's waiting for Loki," Jane answered.

"Indio, but what if he does not come?"

"Goose will be fine," Jane assured.

So would Loki… and Wakanda… and all of them… or so Jane fervently hoped and prayed.

As a king and as a man, T'Chaka carried many regrets on his aged shoulders. Too often, the duties to the throne came at a heavy cost, but none as heavy as the cost of his half-brother, N'Jobu. This was not the first time he looked back on that day with bitter regret and self-doubt. Now, as T'Chaka sat in the oppressive silence of the SHIELD prison cell, he had little else he could do but consider the costs of that day.

Ayo, the one Dora Milaje warrior granted as a concession to guard the king outside his cell in the Netherlands, stood stoically outside his door. She was not permitted to speak unless a SHIELD agent granted her an audience and all their interactions were closely monitored by the king's captors. Her role was simply to ensure the safety of her monarch during the investigation into "Wakanda's role in the Fall"- an investigation that could hardly reveal the real truth as the very Pillars of Wakanda kept T'Chaka from speaking out loud in his own defense.

It had been three weeks after the mgeni left that the false border of Wakanda received fifty SHIELD soldiers, Director Nick Fury, and the fully grown son of T'Chaka's dead brother. They came not to seek information (for they were convinced they knew enough already), but to bring accusations and swift punishment on the nation they accused of "orchestrating the Fall" and "knowingly harboring and colluding with Earth's greatest enemy." This enemy was the one they deemed "solely responsible for the destruction of New York and subsequent upheaval across the planet."

As the questions and accusations outgrew T'Chaka's ability to answer in truth and maintain his bastion of secrets, he knew what the inevitable outcome would be. Still, as he looked upon the strong, angry shoulders of his brother's only son, T'Chaka's regrets were those of the man more than the king. He wondered, not for the first time, if he had made the right decision.

The times of N'Jobu's betrayal of the Pillars came during dark days for Wakanda. Uganda, southern Sudan, Rwanda, and the DRC were all beset by rebel armies (even as they harbored the rebels of their neighbors). Blood watered the soils as much as the seasonal rains and the turning of the Cold War in the northern countries of Europe meant their proxy wars in Africa were no longer of as much value. The Derg in Ethiopia crumbled first, tumbling neighboring Somalia into Civil War. The American support for the kleptocratic dictatorship of Mobutu in the DRC slowly withdrew. This left the entire Great Lakes region ripe for reaping the violence that had been sown and carefully kindled for decades. Parasitic leaders (allowed and encouraged by Western political aspirations) ruled with iron fists, hungry pockets, and trigger-happy fingers and surrounded Wakanda on all sides. Wakanda remained an island of fragile peace surrounded entirely by an ocean of petrol, ready for the match that would set the heart of the continent on fire and leave Wakanda scorched along with all the rest.

During those days in Wakanda, some of the younger, more ambitious, more idealistic politicians felt it their duty to "step in and assist their neighbors." Their well-intentioned and short-sighted aspirations only grew louder after the metaphorical "match" was lit and bloody wars exploded around them. The refugees became more plentiful than gazelle, weapons easier to obtain than safe passage, and all spoke in fearful whispers of the horrors which floated across the lakes and rivers and kept the hyenas and crocodiles well-fed. The elders, those who clung to tradition and the Pillars and kept a long view of history, said "this too would pass." They warned the younger generation that if Wakanda revealed their secrets, they could never recover and it would be Wakanda that the vultures of the world would descend upon next.

There were no words for how suffocated T'Chaka felt by the conflicts - both within his own country and without. It was into these delicate, turbulent times that his half-brother betrayed Wakanda's sacred pillars. It did not matter that N'Jobu claimed his actions were fuled by "an intent to bring aid to others." It was still a breach and one which caused a keen and piercing pain in the midst of so many other struggles. T'Chaka could not afford entanglement in more international conflicts and "struggles" for independence. Yet, the cost of his brother's life still felt too high a price and he had never hated the throne as much as he had that day.

He knew, as much as he knew his own name, that he would now pay that price with his own head. He had seen it in his nephew's eyes and the proud, vengeful cast of his shoulders. Erik Stevens, N'Jadaka, son of N'Jobu, or "Killmonger" as he called himself, came for blood. He would not leave until he made his own legitimate claim upon the Wakandan throne and forced Wakanda to pay for the death of his father. Killmonger came to finish what his father started and T'Chaka's flickering life was all that stood in his way. Whether by surprise attack or official decree, Wakanda's monarch would not be returning to the throne and, most likely, would not see the end of this year.

T'Chaka could only pray that his children did not pay for his mistakes with their heads as well as his own. As soon as the General requested his presence at their false capital to "speak with their visitors," T'Chaka had known he needed to send Shuri away. T'Challa, as next in line for the throne, would need to remain and fight his own battles on behalf of the country. Shuri, her research, and her entourage of wageni, would only incriminate Wakanda further and put more lives at risk. The last thing Wakanda needed was for SHIELD to find evidence of extra-terrestrials, formerly mind-controlled and supernaturally enhanced soldiers and scientists, or blue prints for a bifrost in their labs and in their city.

It was at crises like this that T'Chaka appreciated the stance the Jabari had taken in refusing all technology and outside influence on their way of life. Once the plane deposited them in Jabari and returned to Wakanda, they would be safely hidden. No technology could trace them in the highlands there and they could hide in safety as they waited and watched.

Their public capital in Masaka, near their border with Uganda, was maintained as a city in its own right, but not anywhere near as large or technologically developed as Birnin Zana. The public palace that outsiders were permitted entry to was an impressive glass structure with a throne room ornately decorated with leopard skins, royal drums, and carvings of elephants. For hours, the Wakandan royals insisted that they harbored no extraterrestrial terrorists and that they held no responsibility for the chaos across Earth, but only assisted in its subsequent rebuilding. They refused all allegations of developing weapons of mass destruction or seeking to conquer any of their neighbors, let alone any of the rest of the world.

Perhaps, if it was only Nick Fury and SHIELD they dealt with, they could have succeeded. However, the Wakandan descendent of the royal family in their midst was their undoing. T'Chaka's nephew knew too much and the allegations he raised were damning. With the threat of "global security" on the line, SHIELD had the authority to imprison T'Chaka and force T'Challa the allow representatives to scour the country for evidence… evidence they would not find, but that did not matter now. Their many secrets were still safe in Shuri's care, outside the reach of prying eyes, outside of the clutches of her cousin or SHIELD. She would not share her research with the outside world.

As long as Shuri remained safe, so would Wakanda.

Translations:

mgeni/wageni: outsider/visitor

indio: yes

Toto: short for 'mtoto' or child, term of endearment.

Baba: father