Wintersend 5

A warning before you're going to read this, the M rate kicks in. I mean sex. If you don't like that kind of stuff, please skip that part. Nothing too explicit mind you, but I can understand if you don't want to get involved with it. I will mark the text with a * when it starts to get tricky and again when it's safe to read on.

And as always, and I cannot emphasise this enough, thank you so much for reading!

Cullen woke with a start and a hardly suppressed gasp. That was nothing new, it happened as good as every night but this time something seemed off. No, that was not the right phrase, the expression suggested something was wrong. His sudden waking might be due to the mattress he was lying on, so much softer than the cot he was used to, and to the lack of the never ceasing draft of air coming in through the chink where the wall of his chamber didn't exactly fit with the roof but you could hardly call that wrong. And then realisation hit home. He hadn't woken up because of a nightmare but because of a movement. And suddenly all the remembrances of the night before kicked in. The so called romantic rendezvous that indeed had turned out as romantic as it could get and had ended in the most luxurious room Skyhold could offer. That explained the mattress. And then the memory of the heated actions arose. His hot desire drenched in her moist warm surrendering. He couldn't help letting out a soft moan but that was always better than the hopeless lonely cry with which he used to wake up. He forced himself to silence. He didn't want his unexpected exhilaration to disturb her slumber. She looked too serene and he wanted to quench his thirst for peace just by taking in her expression. He realised he could look forever at her and never grow tired with the influence she unknowingly hold on him.

Evelyn had turned in her sleep and had thoughtlessly snuggled close to him. That had been the movement that had wakened him. Her head was now resting against his shoulder and she had draped her arm around his chest. She mumbled something unintelligible and he couldn't help smiling; it was so endearing. She, the Inquisitor, the one woman the whole world looked up at, at this precious moment almost acting like a toddler, lying close to him, holding him as if he was her teddy bear, after how she had given herself to him in such a passionate way... he cherished her even more by recalling how they had making love, how they had enjoyed each other. Lying in his arms, with that soft smile around her lips, she was not the Inquisitor, she was just a woman. No, not "just" a woman. The woman he loved.

They had left the curtains open and after the candles she had lit had burned down, the room was dimly lit by the light of the stars and the slither of the moon that hung high in the sky. He looked at her face that radiated nothing but peaceful contentment and in the dim light revealed her tousled copper hair that in this light almost looked like silver. He smiled. He might be awake but at least he had let her dream on. He hadn't disturbed her.

His thoughts travelled back to the moment she had taken his hand and guided him out off the garden, through the deserted Great Hall, to the entrance of her personal residence. Somewhere halfway the stairs he had stopped her. He had turned her and grasped her shoulders. 'Are you really certain you want to do this?' His voice had sounded strained and insecure, even in his own ears. She had tilted her head. 'Are you?'

He had always thought a woman's body sacred and hers to give as an exceptionally exclusive gift and he didn't want to take advantage of the situation. But her reaction made clear she thought the same about him. Her green eyes had looked so sincere in the dusk light that poured through the small windows into the stairwell. 'Cullen, if you're not comfortable with this and I go too fast, please just tell me. I don't want to force you into anything you don't want or are not ready for.'

He had been touched by her consideration and the next moment answered her with yet another kiss and acting on impulse he had lifted her in his arms and carried her up the stairs to her room. Reverently had had slowly lowered her on her feet without letting go off her. 'I love you,´ he had told her again, feeling liberated, exalted, and at the same time like a schoolboy, floating in sheer happiness. Her warm smile, so full of affection, had encouraged him. ´And I love you,´ she had whispered. And then, with an impish laugh she had twirled out off his arms, had lighted some candles and had taken the bottle he still carried with him and poured two glasses with the sweet red wine.

'Are you certain you're not elfish?' he had asked, dazzled, remembering Sera's eccentric actions. It had led to yet another merry laugh.

'Who can tell,' she had said with that specific twinkle in her eyes that drove him completely mad.

He had drawn her into his arms once more and whispered on her lips, 'If so, promise me you won't lose that part of you. Not ever.' He had laid her down with all the gentle attention he could muster and then had lost his schooled attitude. He couldn't possibly fight his reserved feelings any longer. He almost shred the garment she wore and bared the soft flesh of her breasts. With adoration he had caught a nipple between his teeth and softly bit the swiftly hardening peak which had wrought an exalted cry from her lips. Feeling confident by her reaction he sucked and kissed that part of her while his fingers travelled their own path down the straight plain of her stomach to end up in the sacred triangle of her sex. The moment he touched her sensitive nub she arched her back and begged him for more.

'Please, Cullen,' she groaned and it invigorated him. His mouth followed his fingers and his tongue wrapped around her pearl, softly but focused on his task. The sweet taste and the womanly scent she radiated almost drove him insane. Her moans and pleads made him work harder. Again she breathed his name. 'I love you so much,' she panted. And then he brought her to her climax. With a loud cry she came apart, her body writhed and trembled in the orgasm he had given her. Almost in the momentum she sat up and took him down again with her in her arms. She grabbed his shoulders in a desperate movement. 'I need you,' she panted, 'please, Cullen, my love, I need you!'

He didn't need any more encouragement. With a feral growl he entered her, and with a wild cry she took him in, deeper, ever deeper until he drowned in her and lost himself. Never before he had – 'Never before I have felt like this,' he breathed on her cheek after he had emptied himself in her. And it was true; he had made love to other women before but never had it made him feel like this.

She embraced him hard. 'And never have I.'

Evelyn sat up and reached for the glasses on the side-table. She proffered him one and he accepted. 'Were you disappointed I was no virgin?'

He was surprised by her question. But then again, it was typical for her. The only answer could be an honest one. 'No,' he thus said, his eyes wide and sincere, 'I couldn't care less.' He smiled and added, 'I suppose it would have been totally different and not specifically better.' He let his fingers trail along her face. 'Why do you ask? Does it matter to you?'

He had been brought up with the idea a woman's untouched state of being was the most precious thing she could bring into a marriage until his eldest sister had made a fool of him by laughing so hard she had tumbled off the haystack when he had caught her with her lover on that very haystack. For a time he had thought he wouldn't be able to copy her ministrations because he had himself pledged to the Templar life at the age of fourteen but, yes, there had been that girl when he had gone to Kirkwall and he had barely been twenty. She hadn't been a virgin either and, as now, back then he hadn't been shocked. And other women had followed her. He thought he had loved them. By now he knew that was not true but in any case he had respected them.

'No,' Evelyn said, 'but regarding your history ...'

He had laughed softly and had taken her firmly into his arms. 'If your virginity is such a hot issue you could be upset about the lack of mine.'

She had laughed whole-heartedly and after that they had made love again. Wonderful breathtaking love.

There had been no talk of virginity whatsoever anymore and the thought of whatever women had evaporated with the feeling of her silken body and the sweet scent of her skin.

And now he lay on this too soft mattress, looking at her beautiful face, surrounded by that copper-coloured hair that, indeed, in this moonlight seemed silver, carrying that lovely smile, listening to her steady breathing, feeling the light touch of her hand upon his chest. He had never felt this happy in his entire life.

In contrary to Cullen and Evelyn, Hawke had lived through a bad night, as she had had so many times of late. She had hardly slept at all and the little interludes of sleep between waking had been filled with nightmares. With a fierce headache she walked out of her room, crossed the large hall, stubbornly, if not with a generous splash of loath, ignoring the gathered nobles, and specially avoiding the arrogant figure of Vivienne. 'Oh my sweet dear, you're but just a hedge-mage, aren't you. You so lack the proper education of a circle mage. No wonder you started all this uproar,' she had said on their first, and if Hawke had anything to say about it, last meeting. 'Well, you know best,' she had managed, thinking, thank all the gods I am indeed but a hedge-mage without your bias education and have had all the freedom of proper reasoning. She descended the stairs leading to the courtyard. The moment she entered the space Cassandra caught up with her. 'Messere Hawke, Champion,' she started, 'there's something I was meaning to ask you.'

Hawked let out a small sigh. 'Please, just call me Marian,' she said, her voice thick with tiredness, 'Messere sounds too formal after our trip and what we went through and the title Champion has run old.'

Cassandra smiled half-heartedly. 'I can understand that. I used to be the Right Hand of the Divine but that title also isn't accurate anymore.' She paused for a moment but then pressed on and came to the point as was her nature. 'Why did you let Anders live?'

Hawke frowned which didn´t do anything but improving her headache. 'An interrogation after all?' Maker, I´m not in the mood for this, she thought.

Cassandra frantically fluttered her hands. In fact she looked almost crestfallen. 'No!' she hurried to say, 'not at all! It, well, it just puzzles me. After what he did ...'

Hawke stared in the distance. The suppressed memories of that fateful night all submerged in one big wave. She bit her lip in an attempt to hold in a shout of despair. 'Have you ever been forced to judge someone close to you? Someone you considered a dear friend? To condemn such person to death? Even worse, to be his executioner?'

'I, er, no,' Cassandra had to confess, 'as a matter of fact, there are few persons I had to judge, let alone condemn. And never one I considered a friend.´

Hawke started walking again, at the same time trying to gather her wits. ´Anders had saved the lives of my companions several times after numerous battles, not to say he dragged me off the threshold to death after my fight with the Arishok. And he ran a clinic in the poorest part of Kirkwall, devoting his life to the people who weren´t able to stand up for themselves.´ She stopped and rubbed her face in an effort to lessen her headache. ´It´s complicated.´ She shot Cassandra a brittle smile. ´You must not forget the situation I found myself in. I stumbled into a terrible row between Meredith and Orsino. At the same moment Anders blew up the Chantry and I knew at that very moment that was mostly due to that deranged spirit he had invited into his – head, existence, whatever.' Her face contorted at the memory of that dreadful night and right away a bolt of pain shot through her brain. She stifled a moan. 'Immediately Meredith invoked the right of annulment. I couldn't let that happen; the Circle had nothing to do with the disaster. The reason I decided to defend the mages had nothing to do with me being a mage. The woman was completely deranged. Infected by red lyrium as a matter of fact. She was crazy to begin with but the red lyrium did nothing to remedy that.' She let out a cynical snort.

Cassandra nodded. 'I know. That much Cullen has told me.'

Hawke fiddled with the cuff of her tunic. 'I'm sorry, I got distracted. To answer your question, I suppose I wanted Anders to pay for his horrible action. To let him face the consequences of what he had done.' She sighed once again. 'At that moment I couldn't foresee what would happen.' She looked forlorn and Cassandra almost wanted to put her arms around her. Hawke tilted her head and said, 'I knew he was struggling with himself, or better, with his spirit, that he had never wanted to blow up the Chantry and kill so many innocent people. Nevertheless, I wanted him to face – ha – justice.' She stared ahead. 'At that moment I couldn't anticipate Orsino's betrayal and the unsavoury fight against Meredith. Anders just slipped away. As much as you, I suppose, I want to find him and bring him to justice.' She blew out some air. 'Justice,' she murmured, 'the word alone leaves a sour taste in my mouth.'

They had ended up at the entrance of the tavern. Cassandra took Hawke's arm. 'Can I buy you a drink, Champ- Marian?'

Hawke turned her head and looked at the Seeker. A smile spread along her face. 'Yes,' she said, 'I know it's quite early but I fancy a whisky. Sometimes a draught of strong liquor helps you to face the day.'

Cassandra laughed out loud. 'I'll join you.'

Yes, I know. I promised you Fenris and I failed you. I'm so sorry. Will you believe me when I tell you he will be the lead figure in the next chapter ..?

Still, thank you so much for reading!