A/N: So, I'm back here! Since some people have asked me to continue with this fic, I get inspired and turned it into a short multichapter of 5 chapters that I hope you want to read.
As always, please remember English is not my first language and I do my best :)
Getting Mike out of jail early was one of the most titanic tasks Harvey had ever done as a lawyer. It's true, he had been cornered against the wall countless times during his life and career, and not too long ago, he had saved Donna from going to jail, another task in which he was as (or more) emotionally involved as taking Mike out of there.
The difference here is that this feels like a failure. He wanted to do with Mike the same thing he did with Donna: save him from going to jail.
Having to get him out of there feels like a constant reminder of his failure. And it's exhausting. He feels his emotions boiling every second.
He feels pressured all the time by the lingering fear that something bad might happen to his best friend in that hole, and he knows that if it happens, he can never forgive himself.
It's the glimmer of hope that had lit up between him and Donna that night, which pushes him to keep going every time he's about to give up.
It was months of feeling the water around his neck every second, of almost not sleeping, of asking for more favors than he should, of putting himself to the limit of his capacities every moment, to hold his urge to have Donna in his arms and kiss her whenever he had her around... And all of that was worth it because he had succeeded. Mike is out, and he doesn't remember the last time he breathed so calmly.
"Did it work?"
"It worked."
"We did it."
"We did."
After Harvey tells Mike that Rachel was waiting for him to come back home, he watches the reunion from the entrance of the prison and only one person appears in his mind: Donna.
And it's that perhaps, this also means freedom for him.
For them.
Almost on impulse, he reaches for his cell phone in his pocket and calls her. He needs to hear her voice. He needs a reminder that she is still there.
"Harvey's Specter office." She answers the call with that confident and warm voice he heard so many times, and that still makes him smile.
He clears his throat because he knows his voice will sound a little broken if he doesn't, and he murmurs her name. "Donna."
"Hey…" her voice softens. She smiles and looks down when she hears him, trying to hide her stupid smile from the rest of the firm.
"He's out."
"You did it." She says with a smile that he can't see but can hear.
"I did." He pauses and closes his eyes for a slight moment. "Because you always had faith in me." Harvey murmurs, feeling the warmth of the sun on his face, imagining a soft and proud smile on her face at this right moment.
"No, Harvey." She whispers. "You did it because you always break down any wall you get cornered against."
"But also because you have faith in me. And because you were the best ally. You always have been, Donna."
And as Donna prepares to answer, Louis almost runs up to the redhead's desk. "Is he already out?"
"Yes, Louis. He's out."
"Donna… I'll see you at the firm," Harvey says on the phone, cursing Louis internally more than ever for interrupting them. And if Harvey had done anything, it's cursing Louis Litt.
"Bye, Harvey," Donna responds and ends the call.
• A few weeks ago •
It's too late, but Harvey is still in his office, walking back and forth and holding a Scotch glass he has already recharged more times than Donna has been able to count, because of course Donna is still there with him, being the only two people left on the 50th floor.
Donna has already done everything she could think of: she answered emails, deleted files from her computer, tidied up her drawers, and even checked her social media. And Harvey keeps pacing back and forth and refilling his drink repeatedly, so Donna decides it's time to intervene.
"Harvey–" she says in a soft tone, after entering his office and standing there.
"It's late, Donna. You don't have to be here. You can go home." He responds with an angry tone of voice that Donna ignores because she knows it's not angry toward her.
She drops onto the couch. "Can I have one too?" she asks, watching at his glass. Harvey doesn't respond, but heads to his cart to pour her a drink. And when he extends his hand to her, and she stretches out her arm to grab the glass, their fingers rub delicately and they both know that they stretch that moment a few seconds longer than necessary. From that night in Donna's apartment, being alone and at night in the office became a constant struggle against their desires, in an actual battle where the winner has to be their willpower. And that's why Harvey suggested Donna go home because every extra day Mike spends in jail, his willpower weakens. And Donna knows it, but she also knows that he now needs her. "Thanks," the redhead responds and drinks a sip while Harvey sits in front of her.
"You don't have to be here. You can go home as soon as you finish that drink."
"Are you kicking me out?" she asks him, an amused tone in her voice.
"You know I'm not." He answers and drinks some of his drink. "It's just that I'm here only because I can't take another sleepless night losing my mind on my bed."
"I'm not sleeping well either if that comforts you."
He exhales sharply. "I'm terrified of waking up to bad news."
Donna exhales in frustration. "You'll get him out of there before any bad news." She tells him with all her confidence in him and after finishing her drink, she stands up. As she heads towards the door, she puts her hand on his shoulder and gives him a grip with a soft squeeze. "I still have faith in you, Harvey." She mutters the words she is waiting to say to him since she entered his office.
Harvey's breathing quickens at the feel of Donna's hand on him and he can't help but reach up his hand to find hers and wrap it around her delicate fingers. "I don't know if I can do it this time."
"I do know, I know you can." Harvey closes his eyes for a moment, pressing their fingers together and enjoying this little act of intimacy. "And now, get up from that couch, and let's get out of here."
He nods and after they both let go; he stands up. They know better not to say anything right now, so they each head off to find their belongings.
Since that night, they have been cautious about what they say and what they do. They both wanna believe that the promise is still alive, but they also know that it must be continued that way, as a promise. At least, while Mike is in jail.
It's the first time in two months that they've shared some physical contact, and while they've never shared much before, this time it means so much more. It's inevitable for both of them not to think about that night.
But, also, they are meticulous in what they say. Donna knows all too well that saying out loud any of the lines she told him through tears that night will hit him. And it's the first time in all that time that they make a direct reference to that moment.
"I'll take you home," Harvey says, walking out of his office.
Donna smiles at him shyly, thanking him for the gesture, and nods, beginning to walk beside him.
They don't say a word before they get to the elevator, either while they go down, or while they walk looking for Ray. They are still too immersed in the feeling of their hands joined a few minutes ago that almost instinctively, their hands join again after sitting in the back of the car. Harvey's fingers rise over hers and she opens them a little so that he can intertwine them and he enjoys the little smirk he sees on her lips. They also say nothing during the whole trip to Donna's apartment, they're just too focused on the feeling and warmth of their hands together as if in that gesture they could find some calm and hope amid the hectic tide in which they're living right now.
When Ray parks in front of Donna's building, their hands slowly separate and Harvey leans slightly toward her. "See you tomorrow."
"I hope you can get some sleep tonight."
"I hope the same for you."
Donna opens the car door, says good night to Ray, then climbs down and, before closing the door, leans out to give Harvey a warm smile. He smiles back at her and they stare at each other for a few seconds. Then Donna closes the door to get home.
Three hours later, Donna is still trying to fall asleep when she sees her cell phone screen turn on.
"Are you up?"
"Yes, I guess we're both suffering from insomnia."
"I'm about to get out for a drink."
"No, please. Stay at home."
"You're right, I'd have to dodge a lot of women I'm not interested in." Harvey sends, getting carried away by the vulnerability of the early morning and Donna feels like she stops breathing for a second when she reads him.
"You're an idiot!" Donna responds, trying to take the conversation to lighter ground.
She doesn't know if she has the strength to talk about this with Harvey, being alone and cold in her bed.
Neither of them mentioned what happened again.
None dared to do so.
And Donna knows that Harvey's confession hides a second message: that the woman he's interested in is her.
"Maybe I am, but I'm just doing more than my best."
"I know, Harvey."
"I'm not talking just about Mike."
She grins. "I know that too, and you're doing great."
"Am I?"
"Yes, Harvey. You're." She writes as soon as she can, not wanting to give him a second to doubt.
"I'm asking too much if I tell you I wanna call you?" Harvey sends, almost without thinking. He feels exhausted, physically and emotionally, and his unconscious forces him to seek some peace. And he knows she can give it to him.
She bites her lower lip as she reads it and a deep sigh comes out of her body. "No, you're not."
Donna smiles as she writes it, eager to hear him. And Harvey smiles as he reads her, wishing her voice could calm him down.
"Hey…" she murmurs, spinning on the bed to lie on the side of her body, curling up in her blankets.
"Hey…" he responds, resting on his back, closing his eyes with a slight smile on his lips.
And a silence settles between them, which makes them laugh foolishly.
"Harvey–"
He interrupts her with a very soft voice. "Just… Can you talk to me about anything? Please."
"About what?"
"Anything. It's the first time I closed my eyes and I don't have bad news in my mind." He exhales sharply. "Knowing that you're there, and your voice—"
She interrupts him. "It also calms me down knowing that you're there," Donna mutters, bending her knees against her torso.
"How much longer is this nightmare going to last?" he asks, in a voice that she can tell is about to break.
"I wish I could give you an answer, but I don't have it, Harvey." She responds with guilt, wishing she could tell him something better.
"You always have the answers." He murmurs, and his voice certainly sounds broken this time. He must open his eyes as he feels them fill with tears.
"Not this time, I'm sorry." She says and closes her eyes tightly, getting upset with herself for not being able to calm him down.
"You don't have to." He responds and swallows dry.
After a few minutes of whispered words, as if that conversation were a secret, silence built between them again. The only thing that fills the phone call is the slight sound of their breaths. Wishing both to share that silence, being entangled in each other.
The intimacy of being on the phone and in silence, in the middle of the night, feels like an act of intimacy so deep and so real that they are afraid of ruining it. Listening to their breaths seems to be more than enough for a few minutes.
It's Harvey who dares to break the silence. "Are you still there?" he asks in an almost imperceptible voice. Afraid of her answer. Because if for some reason she's not on the same page as him, he knows he could fall apart.
"I am. Sorry. You asked me to talk about anything and—"
"No, I didn't mean that." He pauses, somewhat long, looking for the courage to try to be a little clearer. "I meant if you're still there. Not just now."
Donna takes a deep breath of air, feeling her body tremble upon hearing him. "Yes, I still have faith in you." She says softly and hears him smile, amid a sigh of relief. "No matter how long it takes, I'll be here."
"Donna–" he sobs.
"Harvey, I think about that night every second of every day. I know the priority now is to get Mike out of there. But... I also wish that you would think about that night often, too." She says with a lump in her throat, with which she struggles with every word.
"More than often." He mutters. "Every time I feel like I can't take it anymore, I keep going for Mike, but also for you. For us."
"Will we have our chance?" she asks, in a voice so shy that Harvey can't help but smile like a fool upon hearing her.
"We'll have it. If you have faith in me, we'll do." He whispers.
"I always have faith in you." Donna murmurs. "Just close your eyes and imagine I'm lying behind you, wrapping my arms around you."
"No, Donna–" he says in a choppy voice, sounding a lot sadder than Donna expected.
"Do you want me to go?" she asks, without thinking, instinctively. She can endure many things unless the strongest man she knows breaks down.
"Yes, I do. But we can't."
"You're right. I'm sorry."
"You're braver than me. I'd never have dared to say it."
She chuckles. "That I'm braver than you had become clear when I was the one who kissed you."
He giggles. "I can't wait for you to do it again."
"Me neither," Donna responds, laughing like a teenage girl in love, and that makes Harvey laugh, too.
"You haven't talked about anything, but you've told me what I needed to hear. As always."
"Everything will be okay, Harvey. Sooner than you expect."
"If you say so, I believe it. I also have faith in you."
Donna smiles. "Try sleeping now, okay?"
"Okay, but you too."
"I'll do." She exhales and falls silent.
"Donna–"
"Hmm?"
"Thank you."
"Always, Harvey."
Neither of them says anything more. They just stay there, with their phones in their ears, listening to each other's breath for countless minutes. That is all the closeness they can have now and decide to take it. They fall asleep listening to each other. It's Donna who first falls asleep, and it's Harvey who ends the call when he wakes up with the first ray of sunshine hitting his face.
The next morning, the two giggle as they meet in the firm's entrance hallway, each with two coffees in hand.
"Did we have the same idea?" Donna asks, leading the way to Harvey's office.
"Well, I guess we didn't sleep so much last night." He replies, looking at her as he walks next to her.
"Right. I'll need the extra caffeine dose."
"Yeah, me too." He responds by entering his office. Donna enters behind him and they both put the coffees on the desk.
They swap their cups. Harvey gives her that ridiculously sweet coffee. And Donna gives him that ridiculously black coffee. Donna grabs her mugs to head to the desk and, as she is about to leave Harvey's office, he calls her.
"Yes?" she asks, turning to look at him.
"It worked."
"What?" she frowns.
"Imagine you wrapping your arms around me while I was listening to you breathing." He says in such a sweet, soft voice that Donna feels she loses stability in her legs.
"I'm glad, Harvey." She responds with a warm smile and leaves.
While Mike was in prison, that was the only time Harvey and Donna dared to mention what was going on out loud.
It was the confirmation that both needed to be able to continue enduring the time that was needed.
Putting the cell phone in his pocket, Harvey exhales sharply and smiles to himself.
He had succeeded.
Mike was free.
And soon he might be too.
Thanks so much for reading, I'd love to read what you think :)