Chapter 4: Papillion

Bella looked at the mirror and stared blankly at the person looking back at her. The slender girl in the mirror was wearing an oversized, powder blue, cashmere turtleneck and a navy blue pencil skirt that stopped above her knees. If the girl in the mirror hadn't been wearing Bella's face, she'd have been a stranger.

She had tried to point to weather conditions as a good reason to not wear a skirt, but Alice had simply tossed her black leggings. The black suede dress boots on her feet were a size too small and her feet were screaming. Alice had used a curling iron to add waves to Bella's naturally straight hair.

Alice stood beside her in the mirror and clapped her hands excitedly.

"You look beautiful!"

"It's too much," Bella said.

"What's too much? It's in your color palette and you're not showing any more skin than your other outfit."

"The boots are too small, I won't be able to walk."

"You're not walking, you're eating."

"I look like a stranger… No, I look like Rosalie."

"Don't be so difficult. That skirt is way shorter on Rosalie."

"I just don't want to look back and remember that I couldn't walk without crying."

"If you don't get a move on, you're going to be late for your reservation."

"We have a reservation?"

Alice steered Bella away from the mirror and out into the hallway. Bella's toes had no room to flex and she tried to keep her weight entirely on the heel resulting in a stiff legged shuffle. The balls of her feet felt bruised, her toes felt stabbed.

"Walk normal," Alice instructed. She playfully bumped her hips into Bella. "Move your hips, bend at the knees, that kind of thing."

Bella took a deep breath as they approached the stairs. She knew that Alice cared for her, she knew that the little vampire just wanted to make the night special. Even so, she looked down at the steps with apprehension. Going down was going to hurt.

Edward appeared at the bottom landing. He was wearing a white dress shirt and paired it with a set of dark jeans. Bella didn't know anything about fashion, but she suspected he did; he hadn't cared enough to tuck the shirt in, but somehow found the time to fold the cuffs back to display his forearms. He had traded in his sneakers for a leather dress shoe, but apparently forgotten to comb his hair.

"How come he gets to wear jeans?" Bella asked.

"Because he's lazy."

Edward grinned a crooked grin.

"Because I'm too fast for her to catch."

"You look like you want to join the Jonas Brothers."

"Who are they?" Edward and Bella asked at the same time.

The Jonas Brothers flashed through Alice's otherwise exasperated mind. He saw the dark haired, dark eyed trio, walking onto a stage in their high end clothes that looked freshly slept in. A crowd of teenage girls screamed as one of the brothers picked up a guitar.

"A boy band," he told Bella. He redirected his gaze to Alice. "Did you actually go to that concert?"

"I don't see what that has to do with… Will you two get out!"

Alice disappeared leaving behind a draft.

Bella jumped as the bedroom door slammed. She looked down at Edward who stretched a hand out for hers. She took a deep breath, and tried not to flinch as she climbed down one step at time. When she took Edward's hand, his fingers wrapped around hers, and his grin softened.

"You do look beautiful."

Bella didn't know how to respond. This was one experience she had no familiarity with and it left her feeling insecure and ignorant. He was still her Edward as he'd always been. He was still the one who'd protected her, still the one who'd made her feel safe. He was still the one she would run with, across the earth or to the end of it.

But tonight he was dressed in a manner that suggested he wanted Bella to look at him. The crisp white shirt was free of dirt, rips, and bloodstains, and it would almost certainly be see-through if the rain hit it. The untucked hem drew attention to his waist where she knew his loose fitted jeans clung to his hips.

Tonight, Bella had allowed herself to be dressed in a manner that suggested she wanted Edward to look. Her leggings hid her skin, not her legs. The soft cashmere drew attention to her femininity, enhancing her slender figure without dwarfing her, adding the suggestion of a bust where she was sure there was none.

She'd allowed Alice to make a bold choice on her behalf and now, belatedly, she wondered if she wanted Edward to look. She realized it was far too late to ask that kind of question; he was already looking. She felt a little self-conscious, but also quite pleased.

He led her out to the garage where he let go of her hand to open the passenger side door. She climbed into the car and he closed the door carefully. He reappeared in the driver's seat almost instantly.

She considered how many evenings he'd been pretending to fall asleep next to her. How many times she'd offered him food and he refused to eat, saying he'd already done so. How many times had they gone jogging and she'd never known he could outrun the wind.

She was no stranger to hiding.

Traveling with Edward, she'd always gone out of her way to overlook him when he did something unusual. They'd both preferred it that way. At the time, it had felt like the right thing to do.

Now, she couldn't help but notice how much faster he was moving. He didn't have the expectation that she'd pretend it wasn't happening.

As he pulled out of the garage and piloted the car down the driveway, she gave him a cockeyed grin of her own.

"What?"

"I bet it feels nice," she said.

"What does?"

"That you don't have to pretend to be human anymore."

He glanced in the rearview mirror and then sideways at her.

"It's easier that I don't have to lie to you anymore."

The car slipped from the driveway to the road and from the road it eventually made its way onto the highway. They drove in silence for a few minutes, Bella's face pressed against the window watching the trees sail by. Then she heard the clicking of his directionals and the car began to slow. He pulled the little sedan onto the shoulder.

Bella twisted back around to look at him, concerned that the car might be breaking down. He seemed calm and in control.

"You know what else is going to feel nice?"

His tone suggested mischief, but she was unable to guess what he was up to. She shook her head.

He twisted around his own seat, his arm grasping for something behind him. From the floor of the backseat he presented her with: her sneakers.

She laughed and her hands reached to cover her mouth and muffle the sound.

"Your feet. Take those ridiculous things off."

She took the sneakers from him and undid her seatbelt. She pulled at the laces on the boots and hauled them off with enthusiasm. She was glad for the leggings as she bent her legs into what would otherwise be revealing angles. She slid her feet home and tried not to cry as the blood painfully flooded back into her toes.

"I don't want you to look back someday and remember you couldn't walk without crying, either."

He merged carefully back into traffic.

"You heard?"

"I try not to," he said apologetically. "I can't help it."

She shrugged.

"You were right, when you told Alice I didn't care what you wore."

He didn't take his eyes from the road as he spoke. The cold, wet weather had made the blacktop treacherous. He was hyper-aware of the fragile ribs, now hidden beneath a fluffy sweater, that protected the heartbeat that was quickly becoming the soundtrack to his life.

"But you were wrong, when you said you looked like Rosalie."

He hadn't given clothes a thought when he'd asked Bella out to dinner. He'd been surprised when she'd consented to try on some of the clothes Alice had borrowed from Rosalie and Esme. Likewise, he'd borrowed a shirt and shoes from Carlisle's closet and chosen a clean set of jeans from his own. He'd seen himself in the mirror as Bella worried about her skin. His skin was something he didn't want to worry about anymore. He'd folded the cuffs back brazenly, not caring if she saw. He would not hide from her.

She was right, of course she was.

It felt wonderful to have one person he never had to hide from.

"You're infinitely more beautiful."

He glanced at her and saw her cheeks fill with blood. He admired how the soft waves of her hair framed the shape of her face, how the light blue of her turtleneck complimented the cream and roses of her skin. The tights called his attention to a feature he'd never admired before; the lean, willowy grace of her legs.

He averted his eyes back to the road.

She reached across the console and flipped on the heat. She hadn't thought anything of it, of course not, and Edward was sorry he hadn't thought to offer it. Their raincoats were in the backseat, but of course the air inside the car was too cold. She hadn't thought anything of turning on the heat, but the hot air flowing into the car began enhancing the scent of her. It sent flames across the back of his throat, venom flowed reflexively into his mouth.

He could see her beauty in his peripheral vision. He could feel her body heat on his skin. The elixir of her life beckoned him, as her heart's steady rhythm repelled him.

No, Bella hadn't thought anything of turning on the heat. She'd just turned the car ride into exquisite torture. It was why he'd pushed for the motorcycles in the first place. He took a deep breath, letting her scorch him. If he was going to try to be the man she deserved, it had to start with letting himself burn.

"Reservation for two, listed under Cullen."

The host glanced up from his cell phone and his face blanched at the sight of Edward's toothy smile. He glanced at Bella, who was looking around nervously, and wondered briefly if she were here against her will. He looked down at his appointment book, What's a pretty little thing like that doing with this creep, and glanced back at Edward.

"ID?"

Since when do you need and ID to get a table? Edward reached for his wallet, and slid out the newly acquired ID card. The host glanced at it and was disappointed to find Edward's photo looking back at him.

"I'm Robert," he introduced himself. "If you come this way…"

He picked up a couple of menus and led them through the main dining area, where noisy families chatted over their meals. A child stood up in its booster seat and blew a straw sleeve across the table at his brother. A waitress whisked into the room carrying a serving tray filled with food that was still sizzling and steaming from the oven. A busboy cleaning the corner table dropped his bin, the glasses in it crashed against the floor. The young man's face became the picture of humiliation as he got to his hands and knees to clean up the mess.

Robert held open a door, it led to a smaller quieter dining room in the back. The smaller room was dimly lit, a candle themed chandelier in the center of the ceiling provided most of the light. Each bistro style table was set for two, with candle centerpieces flickering cheerily. The back wall reminded Bella of the Cullen house; it was mostly glass, except it provided a view of the ocean instead of the forest.

There were couples already seated in the dining room, too involved in each other to notice anyone else.

Bella was so busy looking around, she never saw Edward pull out the chair for her. He cleared his throat to get her attention. She took her seat, allowing him to push her in, and tried to look like that was normal. He sat down across from her. The host handed them their menus.

"Your waitress will be right with you."

When he'd left, Bella looked at Edward and said, "What are you doing?"

He laughed. "I'm… wooing you. And apparently doing a bad job at it if you have to ask."

"It's not necessary," she mumbled.

"No… But it's what couples normally do." He was unhappy to see that she looked distressed. "What's wrong?"

"I just… I've never been anywhere so nice. Or in clothes so nice. I keep waiting for someone to ask me to leave."

"No one is going to ask you to leave. Although I was hoping for a bit more ambience," he said, nodding to their own candlesticks which were currently unlit.

Bella glanced at the wicks; the candles flickered to life at her command. He flinched as the fire just appeared and then laughed again.

"I thought it might be nice to have somewhere private to talk. I'm not used to every conversation having an audience."

"Every conversation?"

He nodded his head.

"My family has very good hearing… and plenty of opinions."

"Do I want to know?"

"No."

Bella felt mortified. Every word she spoke could be heard by every person in the house. It occurred to her they could hear every move she made around the house. She thought about her necessary bodily functions occurring in a bathroom that had never seen human activity.

"Your face is turning red."

She stood the menu up on the table to hide behind it.

"Edward, that's so awkward."

A throat cleared and Bella dropped the menu, it hit the bread plate with a clatter. A voluptuous blonde with a pretty heart shaped face was standing over the table. She set a basket of fresh Italian bread down. She glanced at Bella so quickly it was hard to believe she'd even looked. Her eyes were too busy appreciating Edward's face, his chest, his arms… Bella wanted to stab her with the breadknife.

"Good evening, my name is Molly." She seemed to introduce herself only to Edward. "I'll be your waitress this evening. Can I start you off with a drink?"

"I'll have whatever she's having," he told her, keeping his voice flat, bordering on offensive.

In Molly's head, he had glimpsed Bella's face through a stranger's eyes. Where the host had believed Bella too pretty to be with someone like Edward, Molly had seen the opposite. Bella had been perceived as too shy and too plain; Edward's affection's perceived as a pity date. Molly had spotted the dirty sneakers Bella had on her feet and found them pathetic. Molly was considering offering Edward an escape route that led back to her bedroom.

Molly looked back at Bella.

"What would you like?"

"A coke."

"Two cokes." She looked back at Edward. "And can I start you off with an appetizer?"

"We'll need a few minutes," Bella butted in.

Molly nodded at Bella.

"No problem." She took a step away from the table. To Edward she said, "Let me know if you see anything you want."

Bella glared as the presumptuous waitress retreated. She knew she wasn't pretty enough for Edward, but Molly can't have thought that Edward had invited his cousin out for a romantic, candlelit dinner by the sea.

She looked across the table at Edward.

"That woman was undressing you with her eyes."

Edward's lip twitched. "I'm not actually responsible for what people think."

Bella shook her head, irritated.

She opened the menu and her eyes scanned the familiar language. The names were all in Italian. She'd never learned to speak more than a few passing phrases. She could ask to use the restroom, she could order food, and she knew how to say please and thank you. Her father had mostly used it when he was angry, usually with her, and she'd worked hard to remain ignorant of the insults he'd hurled at her in the language of his homeland. Her and her siblings had been taught English, any Italian they learned was incidental as they weren't encouraged to speak it.

"See anything you like?"

Bella looked over the menu at Edward. He was looking back at her over the top of his menu, his eyes studying her in earnest. The color had changed from red to gold, but they were still undeniably his. His warmth, his intensity, always him looking back at her. The white shirt, untucked and left to the whims of gravity and movement, had chosen to cling to his shoulders and chest. The bare skin of his forearms looked like the soft polished marble of a Grecian sculptor's love affair, and even though she knew it was both as soft and hard as it looked, she longed to reach across the table and feel his skin with the new understanding she had for it.

She averted her eyes with an uncharacteristic shyness. It wasn't like she hadn't ever noticed his handsomeness. However shallow an admission, it was one of the first things she'd noticed about him.

That was then, and then the rules of engagement had been different. They were friends. Friendship had been a barbed wire boundary that could not be crossed. Now an invitation had been extended; an invitation to step beyond the boundaries of friendship into a land unknown, an invitation to look with new eyes upon a handsome face. She had always liked what she saw, who wouldn't? But now, she was allowed to admit to herself just how much she liked what she saw.

He was hers. She was his.

"Everything looks good," she answered.

"Then order everything."

Bella laughed and looked back to him, then stopped realizing he wasn't joking.

"That's insane."

"Order at least two. Something for yourself and for me."

She raised an eyebrow at him and felt tempted to point out his obvious dietary restrictions again. He chuckled, guessing where her mind had gone.

"You can sample…or take it home for another night. It might look odd if I sat here with no food."

She nodded. That was true.

She closed the menu.

"So how do we get your girlfriend back?"

Edward cringed.

"Don't call her that… And she's on her way back with our drinks."

Sure enough, Molly came through the doors balancing a serving tray with the sodas in the center.

"Here you are," she said, setting a glass first in front of Edward and second in front of Bella. "Are you two ready to order or can I give you a few more minutes?"

"We're ready," Bella announced.

"Excellent." She tucked the tray under her arm and whipped out a notepad.

Bella waited for the slight she knew was coming. As if on cue, Molly turned to take Edward's order first. He blinked as he realized Bella hadn't told him what she wanted. He deliberately diverted his gaze away from Molly's face to Bella's.

"He's going to have the Rigatoni Bolognese," Bella offered. Molly flinched, her eyes temporarily widened in surprise, and she turned back to Bella. "I'll have the Veal Cutlet Milanese."

"Excellent choices," she said, tucking her notepad into her apron and strutting back out of the room.

"Tell me," Bella asked. "Did she lose her mind when I ordered for you?"

Edward smirked. "As a matter of fact, she did."

Bella reached for a slice of bread.

"How was Chief Swan?"

The bread turned to ash in Bella's mouth.

"What?" Edward demanded, seeing the color drain out of Bella's face.

She knew Edward and his family had a right to know. When she left Charlie's house it was with the intention to tell the truth, but the closer she got to home, the more she doubted her instincts. Edward's composition spread out on the dining room table had provided a nice distraction. The news about her family's secret life and her subsequent meltdown, had driven all thought of Charlie from her head. Alice had fueled the temporary amnesia, as she ramped up the pressure on what was supposed to be a simple evening out.

She wasn't sure how Edward would feel about Charlie's interrogation, but she could guess how Rosalie and Jasper would feel. She didn't owe Charlie anything, but she felt that he was a better man than most… He just wanted to help her. He didn't deserve to die for it.

"What's wrong?"

"Chief Swan knows we're lying. He knows that story about the exchange program and the immune disorder is a load of shit. He saw right through it."

"How much does he know?"

"I don't know… He wanted to know about Tulsa-"

"Why didn't you change the subject?"

"I don't know, I panicked. Then he said I looked like a runaway. He wanted me to call my parents to let them know I was okay and I refused. Edward, if Rose and Jasper find out… I don't want him to get killed because of me."

"No one is going to kill him. Do you think he's going to tell anyone what he knows?"

"I think if he was going to, he already would have."

"Do you think he'll let it go?"

"He's a cop. Probably not?"

In his frustration, Edward forgot to breathe. He resumed with a hiss.

"There's something else. People are talking about you."

"Me?"

"They know we came into town together and no one has seen you since. You need to go out… Interact with people. Let them see that you're normal."

Edward thought about what it must have looked like to the sleepy community in Forks. Two strangers show up in the dead of night, on matching motorcycles no less, and move in with the town doctor. The people would have been dying to know more about the strange couple staying with Dr. Cullen and his wife. Both Esme and Carlisle had been excited about their son's return home; a son, up until this point, the town didn't know existed. A son who never left the house, even though his severely immunocompromised girlfriend was constantly on the move.

He nodded. "You're right. I will make sure to make an appearance in town."

"Did you and Charlie find anything else to talk about?"

"We didn't talk about Waylon and I told you, I wasn't going to ask. It was so awkward, how could I have anyway? He said, thank you for the food, but I don't think he understood why Esme had such an interest in feeding him… I made plans for tomorrow."

"With Charlie?"

"No. When my car broke down that day, those boys, Jacob and Quil, invited me to the reservation just before Charlie showed up. Jacob and his father stopped in just as I was leaving. He told me the offer was still open and we sort of made plans to hang out…" She saw Edward's soft frown and felt her own worry grow in response. "That's okay, isn't it?"

Edward felt guilty that she felt like she needed his permission, guiltier still that his first instinct was to forbid it. It was easier to tell Bella that he wanted her to have a normal life, than it was to actively let her practice one. Alice was right: he was going to have to learn how to share. Other people were going to notice how lovely she was and they were going to want to know her too.

"You don't have to ask my permission," he told her. "I was just thinking about how much I miss you when you're out of sight. Something else I have to learn to endure."

"Do you want to come?"

Edward thought about hanging out with teenagers for the day and shied away from the idea.

"No," he decided. "I could make better use of the time."

Bella glanced around and leaned in. "You've got forever. What are you worried about?"

You, he thought, but he kept the thought to himself.

"Top secret vampire stuff," he said, his frown turning to a smile as he saw her surprise at his casual use of the v-word. "Nobody is paying attention to us, Bella."

Bella shifted her attention away from Edward, to the black waves out the window. Top secret vampire stuff, she thought. She could see the lights of a ship cruising out toward the horizon and wondered if Edward would still take her to see what lay beyond it.

"You offered to show me the world once," she said.

"I remember," he said.

She walked behind Edward, being towed along by an outstretched arm, her fingers locked in his grasp. Her feet produced a low rasp with every step, as she scuffed the bottoms of her sneakers against the street. It was late at night and she'd left their motel room begrudgingly. She was in no rush to get to where he was going, and her stubbornness was making him frantic and frustrated.

He'd left after dusk on one of his errands. She'd tried to stay awake for his return, but sleep had taken her as an unwilling participant, the same as Edward was taking her now. She'd woken up to him shaking her awake, his lips arranged into a crooked grin, his crimson eyes had mischievous glint.

"I want to show you something," he whispered.

"It can wait until tomorrow."

"No, it has to be now."

He passed her her shoes and she did not take them.

"Are you serious?"

"Very." He chuckled.

He set the left shoe on the bed and began loosening the laces of the right shoe. He held her by her right ankle and began to slide the shoe onto her foot. She objected at the idea and tried to pull her foot free, but his grasp was unbreakable. When he'd succeeded in getting the first one on, he reached for the left, but she swiped it from him. She sat up and put her own left foot in the shoe as he began tightening the laces on the right.

"I got it, I got it, alright? Cut the shit."

She could tie her own damn shoes onto her own damn feet.

"C'mon Cinderella," he said. "You are late for the ball."

He pulled her out the door and started off down the street.

"But I don't know how to dance."

"You'll learn."

They'd walked in silence for a while, but her curiosity had eventually gotten the better of her.

"Seriously, where are we going?"

"It's a surprise."

"How long will it take to get there?"

"Not far now."

The city of Papillion had been one of her favorite places to date. The sky in Nebraska was massive and the land underneath mirrored the sprawling shape of the sky, stretching out to embrace the atmosphere. The equilibrium was dizzying.

The city itself was a museum of human life. It managed to retain some of its original architecture; downtown Papillion reminded Bella of the wild west, its square buildings stacked in a neat row on a perfectly straight street. A store advertising computer repair was sitting where she imagined a saloon would have once been.

The city was under constant development and every decade had resulted in a new architectural style adding on to the ever expanding city. The residents had taken pride in their land, even as the urban setting grew. They'd set aside perfectly manicured open spaces and waterparks where the land and sky and water would be admired in their combined glory.

"Why are you so slow?" He whined at her.

She'd picked up the pace, trying to be a good sport. As far as she'd gone, there didn't seem a point in turning back or delaying.

He still walked faster.

Without warning, he stopped short.

"We have to get up there."

He pointed with his free hand.

She stared into the dark, trying to make out the shape in the darkness. There was a massive shadow, made of harsh angles on the top with a cloud of black underneath. As she stared at it, she could hear the unmistakable sound of a river rippling over rocks. Clarity struck her; the shape was of an old steel bridge spanning a river.

He started walking again and she followed faster, trying to keep up.

When they got to the bridge, there was a chain link fence around it, with a sign announcing: DANGER.

"Okay, Edward, in case you don't know what that means, it means we could die."

"I've already been on it, it's fine. Just don't try to drive a car over it."

"How did you get in?"

"Climbed," he said.

He thinks, I'm climbing that? She thought.

He laughed at her and shook his head, and she realized he was joking. He bent down and peeled back a layer of fence.

"Someone, not me, cut a hole in. Just duck under."

"You first."

He shrugged and dropped her hand and slid under the broken chain link fence. He laid the flap of chain link down gently, and backed away from her. He walked out onto the bridge and jumped up and down.

"See? It's fine."

She pulled the chain link apart, it was harder than he'd made it look. She heaved it to the side and tried to force her body through before gravity snapped the material back into place with a rattle. She walked out to meet him but he was already turning away walking over to the railing.

"Don't lean on the railing."

"I wasn't planning on…" She didn't finish her sentence.

She looked out over the river and at first didn't understand what she was seeing. Hundreds of twinkling lights winked on and off along the long grasses that covered the riverbanks. As she stared down the river, more lights came into view, and she considered there might be thousands of them out there. Thousands of merry little beacons that reflected off of the water when the breeze bent the grass sideways.

Fireflies.

"There's so many… I've never seen so many."

"The population declined when people started using pesticides… But pesticides can't be used near water."

Despite being told not to, she reached out for the railing and leaned out over the water. She felt Edward's hand grab a fistful of her shirt, in case she went over the edge; the railing squealed, but held. She stared out at the fireflies for a long time, mesmerized by the sight.

When she finally looked away, Edward was watching her.

"What?"

"Was it worth the walk?"

She nodded.

"You told me Papillion was French for butterfly."

"It is."

"What's French for 'firefly'?"

"Luciole."

"Why Papillion and not Luciole?"

"Because the French had the severe misfortune to arrive in daylight."

"Have you ever been there? France?"

She saw his pale face nod in the dark.

"Would you like to visit someday?"

She thought about what it would take to visit a foreign country under her own freewill. A passport attached to an identity she didn't have to be ashamed of, and money for a flight or a ship to take her overseas. Two things she didn't have. Here with Edward, watching the little lightning bugs twinkle, she wondered if it was possible.

Sometimes when he looked at her, she felt like anything was possible.

"Do you know how many miles we've traveled since we met? How many more we could go? If you want to see France, I'll take you there. I'll take you everywhere. I'll show you the world if you want to see it."

That night seemed so long ago. When she stared out at the riverbanks it seemed as if fairies were dancing in the breeze and all the world had stopped to watch. At the time, she hadn't been able to understand where Edward's passion had come from, where he found his conviction. She couldn't get enough of it.

Top secret vampire stuff.

She could guess what he was worried about… She was an international fugitive. The consequence of capture was probably death. How could they go anywhere?

"Would you tell me the truth?" She asked.

His head tilted as he waited for the question.

"How bad is it? This thing with the Volturi… and what I did."

He raised an index finger up off the table to signal silence as Molly came into the room carrying their dinner. Edward kept his eyes trained on Bella, and didn't acknowledge the flirtatious woman's presence. She set the plates down and took the hint, leaving them as quickly as she could.

Bella looked down at her meal and made a sound of approval.

"Bon appetit," he said.

Her eyes met his again and he saw the question lingering there.

"I don't know the answer… The Volturi needed you to do something that they could not do themselves, so that's not good. They'll be looking for you, but there's eight billion people on the planet and they'll have to check every single one. I have considered they might never find you."

She cut a piece of her veal and set it in her mouth.

"Good?"

She nodded.

"What happens if they do find me?"

"If they find you, they'll find us. There's one among them, Aro, he has a power similar to mine. Except I can only hear what people are thinking as they think it. Aro can hear every thought you've ever had. We won't be able to hide the truth from him. He won't be happy with Carlisle when he realizes that we knew your value and didn't return you."

"They'll kill you."

"Maybe… Aro likes power. It won't escape his notice how many of us are talented. He might try and recruit us first. Someone like Alice would be at the top of his acquisition list, but of course, she's useless if you stay in her life. He wouldn't be able to keep you both. He'd have to choose.'

"The other brother, Caius, prefers swift justice."

"Which one is most in charge?"

"Aro. His curiosity and greed have proven to be advantageous attributes."

"And Marcus?"

"You met him. How did he seem to you?"

"Depressed…and bitter."

"His mate died a long time ago. The bond between mated pairs is powerful. Unbreakable. Vampires don't change as a general rule, and when we do the changes are irreversible. If we were to call falling in love a change, it's an inward change. The death of a loved one, is an outward change… He didn't stop loving her, just because she died. He's trapped-" Edward tapped his own head to make a point. "Up here. He'll spend eternity in love with someone who is no longer there. He should have joined her, most would have, and no one knows why he's still here."

"That's awful."

Edward nodded. "But more to the point, he usually can't see anything more than his own suffering. He'll likely let the other two work it out."

She thought about that. Marcus would support whoever won the debate. Recruitment or death.

"Don't let the Volturi dissuade you from seeing France or anywhere else for that matter. The world was meant to be explored. And despite what they wish, they don't actually own it."

Bella looked down at her meal and took another bite of the food. She glanced across the table at Edward again, and tried to imagine herself in France. It seemed unobtainable; she was sure Edward could take her there, but she couldn't imagine why they should go. They had what they needed here.

"What are you thinking?"

"I just… I never knew how sick I was of not having a home."

"It is possible to do both. Have a home and travel… Most people call it vacation."

"What could I possibly need a vacation from?"

"Give it time… You'll need a break from Alice and Rosalie at some point."

Bella laughed as she thought of his sisters. They were as different as night and day.

"What did you hate most about that red dress?"

"That it was a dress."

"What's terrible about dresses?"

"Are you suggesting I start wearing them?"

"Don't be absurd. Wear what you like. Wear nothing. Wear a potato sack."

Edward picked up a fork and knife and moved some of his food about the plate.

"I can't hear you, so I have to ask… if I want to know you."

Bella thought about it. The idea of putting a dress on had been a waking nightmare. Nobody wore dresses the way they had in Edward's era, but they still wore them. They wore them to candlelit dinners and to high school dances. They were supposedly great for a night at a dance club or an ambitious job interview.

She thought about her skin on display for all to see, the imperfections that hinted at her violent childhood, suddenly available to prying eyes. She thought about the cold air swirling at her ankles and legs. She thought about what it would be like to have to try to run away in one.

"It'd make me more…vulnerable."

He stared at her over the table, wanting more.

"I can't draw attention to myself… I don't want to draw attention."

"That's a shame… because you have mine."

For a moment, they were both quiet, Bella eating, while Edward pretended to eat. She glanced across the table from time to time, each time finding that he was watching her intently.

"You know me better than anyone ever will."

He smiled, softly. "You are so very frustrating."

Bella caught his gaze this time. She considered the sincerity in his eyes, the softness of his smile. His skin boldly on display while she hid hers like a coward. She was trying to avoid vulnerability and here he was running toward it. She tried to take a step in his direction; she reached a hand across the table and left it palm open. His eyes darted down to it and then he reached for her hand with his own.

Their hands met without a sound, but not without sensation. As her hand squeezed his, the air became static charged. The room pulsed with electricity, the current seeming to emanate from their joined hands. He tightened his grip on hers and simultaneously they leaned toward each other as if pulled by a thread that was quickly shrinking.

The table was suddenly too in the way.

She didn't know how long they let themselves be carried by the electrical current that seemed to be generated by their own desires, but Bella's neck prickled as she felt the pressure of watchful eyes. She knew what was happening needed to be stopped, and she couldn't make herself pull her hand from his. Her hand belonged there, she was sure of it. Her muscles began to ache under the strain, the need to be closer, the need to be further away.

"What's wrong?" His voice was barely audible, his lips hardly moved.

"Someone's watching us," she whispered back.

"The gay couple in the corner," he told her.

"What are they thinking?"

His lips twitched.

"One is thinking that we make a lovely couple. The other is thinking we look too young to be so in love."

Edward pulled his eyes from Bella's to look at his hand on hers. He peeled back his fingers one by one, feeling the loss of her heat almost instantly as his own skin began to cool.

"Do you want to get out of here?"

"Yes… But I don't want to go home yet."

Edward understood.