AN: Well, this chapter is late. I'm really sorry for not posting on Wednesday. This chapter was very tricky for me to get done. To make up for the delay I'm gonna say that this is the longest chapter so far.

Chapter 19: Meeting the Marauders

The term began and I was excited about classes.

There was nothing more that I wanted than to jump right into them. I was looking forward to the subjects to study, even more considering that I wasn't as far behind the current curriculum as I was the last term. Somehow, I was catching up, and I lived for the day when I could do an assignment without having to backtrack to second year of Hogwarts just to understand the book I needed to research.

I was getting there in academic sense, and nothing made me happier, except for maybe having Lily back. Lily wasted no time in telling me all about her trip home. Her Christmas seemed to have been delightful with her mother and sister, making me a bit jealous of having to stay at school and the fact that I don't have a family. Anyway, she demanded me to tell her of every second of my free alone time in Hogwarts. I don't know what surprised her more, that I made friends with Peter Pettigrew or that I didn't study as much as she expected. Either way she interrogated me in every aspect. By the end of it, she knew all there was to know except for the part about my connection to the Marauders. That, as always, I kept to myself.

Lily was not too happy about my new friendship. She was glad that I was speaking to another person, but she didn't trust Peter. I knew that the lack of trust wasn't directly to Peter mostly; it had more to do with his association to a certain Quidditch Captain.

Of Peter, I heard very little. I did see him every day, and when we were at a reasonable distance we waved or smiled at each other, but nothing else. Though ecstatic about my classes and all the time consuming studying it implied, I did miss the free time I would spent doing nothing with Peter.

In Potions, I sat delighted to have Professor Slughorn back. I missed his classes, his boisterous attitude, and his office hours. Three days had gone by only and I had already visited him twice. Gracious to me as ever, he cleared up some inquiries I had gathered during the break and confused me in some others.

Gemma flipped through the textbook as she sat next to me. She and the rest of my dorm mates had said fifteen words in total to me in the course of three days. Mafalda was the only polite one to ask how my Christmas was. After answering her, I tried to do the same with the other girls, less I be the rude one and not them. Between 'good' and 'well' my imagination was spent, and I went back to our normal treatment.

Slughorn droned on about the right use of the potion we were supposed to be learning. Though I wasn't listening as intently as I should had been, I was taking notes. I scrapped the parchment quickly with my quill, writing down everything the Professor said. Other than his voice, and the occasional bubbling on a nearby cauldron, all you could hear was the movement of quills. Then out of nowhere, a bird perched on the feather of my quill and I had to do a double take to actually realize what it was. I grabbed at it before Gemma noticed it there. It did as if to peck my fingers away, but the fact that it was made of paper rendered that harmless.

When I had it completely on my hold, the spell over the parchment undid itself, and the paper charmed to take the bird form, straightened itself out. Looking at it, there were scrawny letters hastily written on it with a hand I recognized.

I need to talk to you. Meet me at the empty class room on the fourth four after curfew.

The guys will be there too.

Bugger.

I wanted to look back at Peter, I really did. I wanted desperately to tell him that I did not want to meet him or his friends at any given moment, so soon to the beginning of the term. I had told him, I told Peter I wanted to wait before telling them, and he didn't listen. Half of me wanted to be angry at the rat, but the other side figured that it wasn't that bad. Whatever Peter had said, his friends had yet to confront me, and if the intense glares I had been avoiding were any indication, they were eager to confront me. Hell, I could feel their eyes burning onto my back at that very moment. I had to meet them.

I ignored everything. Hiding the bird-note within my robes, I grabbed my quill again and concentrated on the lecture. The last thing I wanted to do was give Peter an answer, though he and I knew I wouldn't agree to go, I had to. There was no more evading it, and should I keep trying, I would be forced to confront them in a more sudden way. By more sudden I mean being kidnapped in a hallway by the Marauders.

When the class was over, I gathered my things quickly, and went to join Lily as she sorted her materials into her bag. Next to her, Mary Mcdonald was saying something about meeting in the library to do the day's homework, and invited me also. I agreed contently, trying to look with the corner of my eye the students leaving. As far as I knew, Peter and his friends were among the first to leave.

Walking out of Potions, Mary announced she was off to meet her boyfriend. Lily elbowed her playfully, and the girl tried hard not to blush. Mary teased Lily back about Uric Belby.

Lily was going steady with Belby. They had even met during the Holidays to go on some romantic date. I had enjoyed the juicy details along with Mary and Dorcas Fisher when the Gryffindor Prefect had spilled them. Lily's excitement toward her relationship was pandemic, and there was nothing cuter than her blushing softly about it. She tried to hide it, she had tried to do so since the love bug bit her, but there was no use now. The whole school knew. That brought problems of their own, however Lily was relieve that so far nothing had happened. Maybe that's why she has ever more excited about the whole thing.

"I saw you." Lily said once Mary left. We were walking leisurely since we had a free period before having to separate for our next classes. I had hoped that my note reading had been conspicuous enough for no one to notice, but apparently she had seen me fighting a paper bird. "So you're talking to Pettigrew again?"

Oh, she must have seen Peter sending it for how could she have guessed? That or her intuitiveness was off the charts. "He's my friend. Am I not supposed to?"

She made a face on uncertaincy and almost shrugged. "He confessed."

"Does that mean I can't?" Somehow, I was under the impression that it was something a girl should do in such a situation. However, I hadn't talked to Peter in days, surely that was enough. Plus, the one that was hurt was him, not me, and he wanted to talk. The least I could do was be nice about the whole thing, right? "Potter confesses to you every day, and you still talk to him."

That made her outwardly uncomfortable, making her give me a deliberate stink-eye. "Yeah, but I don't consider him my friend. Or an intelligent person for that matter."

She kept on walking, ignoring my mocking smiles.

My wand lighted the way, as I made haste to the fourth floor.

The last thing I wanted was to get caught, and though it had yet to happen, I wasn't about to take any chances. So far, I hadn't received detention of any kind, and I wondered if it was pure luck or an unknown prowling skill I wasn't aware I posed. Anything was possible.

Portraits exclaimed for me to turn off my light as I went pass them to reach the empty classroom. I knew the way well. Peter and I used the room frequently during the Christmas break. As soon as I saw the door I needed to go through, I began to get seriously anxious. I think my nervousness took root form the fact that I was frustrated. I didn't want to be there. I didn't want to show my face to the Marauders. I didn't like not being able to say 'no' to meet them. And most importantly, I didn't want to assume responsibility for what I did during the full moon. That person who I became was beyond my control, and it wasn't my fault stumbling into the boys' greatest secret. It was a chance encounter, all three times were, and that shouldn't be a good enough reason to complicate my life more.

A minute went by before I decided to sod everything. That was it. Enough caring and nervousness, I was going to get this over with. Then I would return to my House, read a book and ignore the world. A bloody good plan.

They were standing and sitting huddled up at a side of the room, but at my arrival whatever conversation they had ended abruptly.

I stopped at the entrance as I was assaulted by their stares.

Petrified, my head flashed the alert of running back to my House and slacking off this inevitable situation. Standing, Potter and Black eyed me with a mixture of seriousness and a slight curiosity. They were ready for me, prepared to fight if needed. Remus Lupin on another hand was completely different. He looked fidgety, sitting on the edge of a chair. His brow glistened a bit, which was odd for the cold temperature that reign the nights. His eyes had darted to me and had stayed on me like he was some kind of cornered animal, and I hated that I fired why that was. He was afraid. He was afraid of me and that made me feel horrible.

As he sat, he was nothing like the guy I knew him he was. Though of course we weren't close, I knew him to be a well manner and pleasant looking student. He did his Prefect duties, and was cordial to everyone. He did a great thing for me last term when I almost morphed into an animagus, and didn't expect anything in return. In my eyes he had been nothing but a good lad. Now that I saw him, because believe me my eyes landed on the other two boys, but they absolutely were pulled toward Lupin. I don't know how I didn't notice it before. We had classes together; if I paid attention I would normally see him at least twice a day around Hogwarts. However, not once had I noticed he was the werewolf. I knew I could identify the creature by being close to it, yet I hadn't done it before. Maybe I wasn't paying the attention needed for it; maybe I was so absorbed in myself I didn't care to see that in him. It didn't change the fact that I felt stupid for it. And now bad, because I knew his secret without his consent.

Peter's face was the only familiar one to me that didn't cause any sort of nauseating feeling. He hurried to join me as I was unable to move my legs.

"Please don't be mad at me," The boy squealed. Like his friends, he was still in his school uniform, but unlike me they weren't wearing their outer robes. There was a fire at the farthest side of the room, and that hearth distributed the warmth pleasantly.

"That's not a good way to begin a conversation, Peter." Though meaner than I had intended, Peter's choice of words only managed to help me. They annoyed me, and that was the kind of feeling I wanted to work this conversation with. Annoyance or indifference. They often came hand in hand with me.

"I'm sorry I told them. But I couldn't help it! You know our secret." Eyes darting from me to his friends, Peter didn't look that sorry to me. I wanted to be angry that he hadn't waited to spill the beans like I asked, but there was no used for that now.

"Barely." I looked at the other three boys. Lupin remained perturbed as ever, looking at me with pleading eyes. Sirius Black had his hands in his pocket and his head was slightly tilted back as he regarded me with what I can only explain as a sober interest. The first to move was James Potter. He took a step forward. His arms were crossed, his shoulders were squared and his jaw was set. Again, I battled with the need to turn around and go to my House. He was an imposing figure, capable of frightening me if only his stance didn't remind me so much of Lily. That link between him and my friend was enough to calm me down. I was back to my previous emotion of get things over with along with the annoyance Peter caused. "Let's just sort everything already."

I walked pass Peter to stand as close to the boys as I dared. Peter joined my steps hurriedly, going right into introducing us to one another.

We stood there regarding each other.

I don't know what I expected. I supposed that between finding out that Peter was the rat of the pack and that very moment, I had imagined the situation to start in a different way. It'll sound coincided, because it is, but I expected to be bombarded with questions the minute I stepped in the room. A werewolf and unregistered animagi were indeed rare; however I think I trump them in that department. I'm not saying that I was going to spill out all my secrets, I hadn't done that to Lily yet, I sure as hell wasn't about to do it to any of the Gryffindor boys.

"Pull your hair down." Said Sirius Black. His words hanged in the space between us. His icy bored stare could unravel me, but I wasn't about to let him do that. I looked back at him, questioning his request, not feeling too bad about myself considering that his friends were giving him a similar look. He looked around, explaining himself. "That bun is tighter than McGonagall's."

"Pardon?" Was my instant reply. I looked at him as if he was a strange creature that wouldn't even fit into mythological standards. Black stare was expectant, like my negation to his request meant nothing. I glanced at Potter, expecting him to negate his friend's bizarre demand, but that wasn't the case. He wanted the same thing and appeared as entitled as Black, waiting for me to do as they said. I felt Peter grab my arm, and after pulling it away, I just went with it.

Sighing for only an idiot like me would get herself in that kind of situation, I undid the one hairdo I knew how to make. I supposed I shouldn't had been that willing to do what any of them wanted, but I was a bit curious to where things were heading. Peter had claimed that I looked singularly feminine when the full moon soared, and I supposed one of the major reasons for that was my hair. I only let down when going to sleep, so of course when I glided out under the moon, I had the cascading mess. Every other moment, it was contained within itself on the top of my head. As the Marauders watched, my dark hair celebrated at being free, framing my face and caressing me down to the middle of my back. I flicked an annoying long strand of my fringe away from my eyes, as I looked up to the boys ready for their regard.

They stared for long enough to make me self-conscious. It felt strange. They looked for things in me that I didn't pay attention to. Their eyes roamed every detail of my face; from the roundness of my cheeks to my hair line, I knew they had taken in all my features and if that wasn't what happened, then it surely felt like it.

"Agh, I can't believe you're a Slytherin." Black was the one to speak first once more and I tried not to take his words as an insult. I'm not bothered at all that he's a Gryffindor, after all.

"I think there are more important matters here that that, Sirius." I agreed with Potter for the moment and was actually surprised that he was sporting such a guarded level head. From what I knew of him, of what I witness and of what Lily had gone and gone about him being like, I thought he was a bigger prat. He seemed almost responsible, and nothing like his troublemaker history implied as he turned his hazel eyes back to me. "You're not how we were expecting you to be."

"What were you expecting?" This time I crossed my arms. It was something that had bothered me for days, no matter how hard I tried to ignore it. "How come none of you recognized me before? Because we have seen each other various times all around the term. We have classes together and everything."

Potter was about to answer me, when Black beat him to it. "We weren't looking for a frumpy Slytherin."

"Sirius," Potter urged as I tried to sort how to take that insult. The bespectacled teenager rumpled his hair with a practice motion with his hand, turning to his friend with a step. What Black's attitude implied, I don't know, but his friend was having nothing of it as they immersed themselves in what I would think was a eye to eye, mental rundown of a conversation they already had.

"Don't call her frumpy." Peter defended and I suddenly felt like I was out of the conversation.

"It's the truth! Look at her." He pointed at me with his hand, but he was definitely not talking to me. He gestured to what I understood as the entirety of me. "She's nothing like the bird in the white dress."

I really made a mistake meeting with them. Sure I was curious, sure I wouldn't be able to outrun it for long, but damn it I should have tried. So far, all I had been was insulted and none of my questions had been sufficiently answered. There was something going on between them, and I certainly hoped the main problem wasn't that I was a frumpy Slytherin. I guess I can't blame them too much for their lack of recognition. My normal self was very different from the woman that walked under the full moon. I had seen my reflection a couple of occasions during that state of mine, and most times I couldn't recognize myself.

I sighed, when the bickering between the Marauders began to dwindle, and when there was space for me to talk again, I did. "What do I look like when I'm running with you?"

"You don't know?" Sporting surprising the responsible and serious mantle, Potter adjusted his glasses on his nose as he shifted from one foot to another. Peter was visibly tired, as his squinted his eyes between us.

The shrug that tensed my shoulders was unavoidable. "Honestly, I am too magically plastered to care, if you hadn't noticed. And Peter didn't tell me when I asked him."

"Peter can't see right. He needs glasses." James said with an attitude toward Peter appearing to had had this conversation before. I did not like how everything they said seemed to have already been said among them. It bothered me, and I supposed it was because it made me feel unprepared.

The squinting Peter was so fond of doing suddenly made sense to me. How many times did I wonder if he could see me when he looked at me? I began to do my hair again, using it as an excuse to turn to the rat. Pulling the long hair up and around to make a bun I spoke putting the spotlight on him rather than keeping it on me. Merlin, I did not like it. Not in this situation. "Why don't you wear glasses?

"I'll look like a twat."

I scoffed, tightening my hair into a bun. This time I face Potter and Black, with a little indifference I was able to muster up. My eyes lingered for a moment on Lupin, but he couldn't answer my question even if he wanted. And he didn't look like he wanted. His eyes were planted away from us, his leg drummed against the floor, and his fingers twitched. The poor guy looked like he wanted to throw himself into the Great Lake. "Okay, so Peter couldn't recognize me, but why couldn't the rest of you?"

"It's like Sirius said, we weren't looking for…" James trailed off motioning to my entire self with his hand.

I did not enjoy this motioning to all of me, as if I was lacking in something. This time it was me with the attitude. "You were looking for 'the bird in the white dress' not 'the frumpy Slytherin'?"

They nodded.

O-ho, I still did not like that. But my clear as day frown didn't make him stop.

"The school robes make you look twice your width too."

"And the way you keep yourself doesn't help." That was said by Black, who joined his friend in the continuation of insulting me.

I should be seething. I should be spitting back all sorts of insults, but I couldn't because I didn't have any. Nor was I that angry. Sure, their words didn't make me feel well emotionally, however they didn't say anything I didn't know. I knew my robes were too big for me. I knew I took no visible interest in my appearance, but that was just because there are more important matters on the line. My robes were of second-use; no matter how much favor of the Ministry I had, their help was limited. I wore no make-up and didn't put on hair solution for the simple reason that I didn't have that much money to buy them. Those facts made me feel better. It was my situation and I was content with it for all that mattered for now was graduating Hogwarts. I didn't tell them that, of course.

"My face is still the same, though."

"Yeah, but it's not at the same time." James messed his already untidy hair, his face contorted, and his confusion was clear to me. "Your face under the moon is different, more natural, calm and elegant. The way you walk too. The way you move. And of course, there's the factor that we saw you through animal eyes. Our perception is not the same as now. Maybe that has something to do with it."

Well, they certainly had a chance to analyze me. Peter's comment about my bosom seemed completely plausible.

There was silence as we regarded each other again.

My legs were killing me, and the long day was finally getting to me, but I resisted the urged to look hungrily at any of the chairs loitering around. "So why are you guys animagi?"

That question tensed the room.

The three boys turned to Lupin instantly, who had not said a word. He was looking away, but upon feeling the spotlight on him, he stood. He was shaking as he landed his soft eyes on me. "They learned because of me. I'm the werewolf. I've been one since I was a child."

I could only stare as he spoke.

"The Headmaster gave me the opportunity to come study here. He had the Shrieking Shack made and the Whomping Willow planted for me to have a place and a route, respectively, to be able to carry on my curse without endangering anyone. James, Sirius and Peter discovered my secret. I thought they would abandon me, but instead made an enormous sacrifice for me. They learned to be animagi so to accompany me when I change. It was a hard process, took them a long time, but they did it for my benefit. Transforming into a werewolf is painful, you see, and all through the night I am a danger to all and myself. These scars are proof of the violence I am capable of. Of what I can do to other should I lose control, but the presence of them in animal form calms me. It helps me be more controlled. They've made my curse bearable." He said motioning to his friends. His words were pushed out slowly as if he was having trouble reciting a speech he had practiced all the while the rest of us had been there talking.

"That's amazing. All of it." I stared on, taking in the information. There was more silence as all waited for whatever else I was to say. The best way to go with a guy that had been nothing but kind and truthful to me was to do the same thing. I could tell it took a lot from Remus Lupin to admit to a stranger his darkest secret. "I could tell you were the werewolf."

Startled, his hand went up to a pink scar thin on his chin instantly, as if it was a matter that got much attention from other people. Considering his soft appearance, I imagine a lot of people were interested in his scars.

"No, it's not because of your scars. I can tell because of the same reason you didn't rip me to shreds on that October moon. We have a connection, an affinity to one another." I swore to that being the truth, though I wasn't a hundred percent sure. Sometimes I said things I didn't know to be true, but then turned out to be right. The same to things I did. I knew it would be okay to beckon to a werewolf during the full moon, and hell I lived to tell the tale. To myself that is, I hadn't told anyone. "Here, feel it."

Doing my best to slither to his side so to not frighten him, I ignored the eyes that were on us. They had their moment to shine, and now was the time for me to deal with the werewolf. He jumped when I was appropriately near him, so I offered my hand to him.

Hesitating for longer than he had done in wolf form that October night such a long time ago, he took my hand. The change was instantaneous. His fingers were soft to my touch as a tingling feeling emerged from me and met up with him. As a shot of what I can only describe as a gust of wind passed through our touch, a smile broke on my face. It was a beautiful sensation, and it much reminded me of how I felt when the full moon took over me. My eyes were sorely on the werewolf and his reaction. I hoped it made him feel the inner peace I felt. The knot that had formed between his eyebrows, straighten itself out, and the fear in Lupin's soft blue eyes evaporated. His skinny shoulders relaxed, making them look broader than earlier.

"I feel, I feel safe." He said, curious as to his own feelings.

"You are safe. I will never hurt you." I don't know from where the words were coming, but I knew I meant them. And I knew I would never go against them. "I'll keep your secret, Remus."

"Thank you." He whispered finally giving me a relieved smile.

Nodding, I looked at the other boys. They had given the moment to Lupin, knowing full well that he needed it more than they did, and they deserved a present for that. "I'll keep your secrets too, if you keep mine. Only the four of you know what I do during the full moon."

"Why is that? Why do you walk into the Forest like that?" Potter seemed different now. He was still guarded against me, but Lupin's appeasing changed something in him. Maybe he was a bit less worried.

"It's a blood thing. I don't have an appropriate answer, but I'm a descendant of powerful… wizards." This part of the explanation was not something I was comfortable talking. It was a matter I hated whenever Merlin brought it up, and if I could avoid it, I surely did. Potter caught my hesitation, but what he took from it, I have no clue. "And they have bestowed upon me an involuntary inheritance locked into my blood, and out of my control most times."

"What wizards?" Black spoke up, in an accusing tone of voice that made me question if I had done something wrong.

"I'm not allowed to say."

My quick answer wasn't as quick as his follow up question. "Why?"

"Because Dumbledore doesn't want me to." Annoyed, I looked away from him, cursing in my head that this whole situation had to happen.

The Gryffindors were clearly suspicious of me, but that's as far as I was going to take it. The mention of the Headmaster didn't move anything in my favor; however I hoped it might, even by a tiny bit. Wherever this relationship with Peter and the Marauders was headed, I needed it to be crystal that the details of my blood heritage weren't something I would be revealing to anyone. If ever I revealed the truth of my family and my circumstances, it would be firstly to Lily. No exception.

Potter crossed his arms again. "Do you have questions for us?"

I shrugged. "I already know Peter is the rat. I could tell what Lupin is, and by default you must be the stag, Potter." I pointed at Black's face in homage to the rude pointing he had done toward me. "Because his eyes are a giveaway."

This time I made him uncomfortable, and I took that as a victory.

It was late already, and though I did have some question I preferred not ask them at the very moment. I had to sneak back into my dorm, and the more energy I had to do that the better. Plus, I didn't want to give space for the Gryffindors to make up questions for me. Heck, I was still surprise they didn't have three rolls of parchment on hand, filled with questions. Maybe they weren't as curious as I thought. "What happens now?"

"We keep an eye on you. Kill you if you betray us." Black said, he had a bored look on his face that reminded me of that time in the last term when I was present when he served detention to Slughorn. I had forgotten that happened.

I stared; I really couldn't keep myself from doing it. "Are you serious?"

"As a matter of fact, I am." I didn't get his way of saying those words, or the joke that was obviously passed between the four friends, but one thing I did get was the smile. It was more of a malicious grin, very true to the personas known to be possessed by the school's infamous troublemakers.

"We're not going to kill you." Remus said, joining us. He was no longer sporting a frighten complexion. Why he felt the need to clarify that, I don't know.

"Definitely not." Peter said to Sirius, ever close to me.

Smirking to Black, who answered with a grin of his own, James Potter became less responsible and more like the annoying snob Lily liked to rant about. With a practiced motion, he passed his hand between his messy hair, making it point out in every direction even more.

"Of course not. We have other ways."

Merlin's beard, I feel like I stumbled into a cult.

...