Wintersend 9

Slowly Evelyn came drifting to the surface of reality. She tried to fight off the moment she would wake though, even in her half-dream, she knew it was a lost battle. Every second now life would be banging on the door of – well – everyday life. To postpone that irritating moment she snuggled close to Cullen, as close as was physically possible. More close and she would dissolve in him. She let her fingers trail down his naked chest and back up and revelled in the ecstatic feeling the simple touch brought about. To be honest she had been afraid he would want to take some distance after their first night together. Not because of the experience itself, which had been more than satisfying, no, satisfying was not the right term. It had been exhilarating for them both. A lazy smile unfolded around her lips at the wonderful memory. Such passion, such surrender, and at the same time so much love and tenderness ... dedication ... She groaned aroused at the memory. It had been perfect.

But the morning after that wonderful night rumours had been flying around like sharp missiles. It had gone on all day; the piercing and estimating looks of the nobles – save Vivienne strange enough, she had given them a faraway smile, it had looked like a thumbs up – the snickering of the staff, the hardly veiled amusement of the soldiers, the giggled remarks about him being the stallion that had conquered the prise mare ...

Yes, she had found it amusing but she had been afraid it would deter him, frighten him, let him shy away. The moment he in a flash reacted to all the silly talks it dawned on her however she shouldn't have bothered. In the spur of the moment and seemingly without thinking, and in the middle of the courtyard of all places, he had snaked an arm around her waist, drawn her into his arms and kissed her with fire for everyone to see. At first there had been stunned silence and then the silence had exploded with whistles and catcalls and still he kept on kissing her. It had been one of the finest moments of her life. He had dared to defy them all and most of all to defy himself. She had especially savoured the moment he had looked up and challenged all the spectators with a bright smirk.

When she had afterwards, carefully avoiding any twinkle in her eyes, informed why he had done it, he had looked at her with that adorable boyish smile and explained, 'they would have go on speculating anyway. Better to give them the show the craved. You know, to shut them up.' And then, as expected, his look shifted in a heartbeat to near panic. 'I didn't mean to tarnish the moment, or what we shared ... or share ... oh Maker... I didn't want to use you for my ... please believe me ...' He stared at her, his eyes wide.

'Cullen!' she tried to silence him and at the same time made a desperate effort to stifle the upcoming snicker.

'No, hear me out.' His look was very serious if not pained. 'It was not my intent to impress my men by taking advantage of – ' He stopped talking when he saw her bright smile and amused raised brows. He didn't know what to make of that.

'No? Can you really vow for that?' If possible her smile became even more amused.

He deflated and gave in and sniggered awkwardly. 'No I can't,' he confessed, and the moment after defended his cause with rekindled flair, 'But that doesn't mean I see you as some kind of prise mare – for Andraste's sake! The expression alone!' For a moment she thought he would inflate but he took a breath and calmed down. He went on, 'but that doesn't mean I'm not proud to be able to call you mine, that is, if you agree –' he stopped hesitantly.

And then Evelyn had burst out in that fit of laughter she had been trying to withhold. 'No, of course it doesn't!You made a bold statement, I thought it was daring what you did,' she told him and she meant it whole-heartedly. 'And brilliant!' she added, 'I hope you saw their faces! Priceless! I just thought it wasn't like you to do something like that. I thought you would sooner hide in your office than face them.' She cupped his face with tender hands and she kissed him. 'I love you,' she murmured in a low warm voice.

He rubbed his nose against hers and gave her a sweltering half-grin back. 'And I love you.' He took her in a near suffocating embrace. 'And now the whole of Skyhold know it.' He had caressed her cheek. 'I have to confess it feels ... I feel liberated. I mean kissing you in front of everyone.' He gave her a hesitant smile. 'You have changed me. You make me do things I never even thought of doing before I knew you.' He had rested his forehead against hers.

She had looked deep into his eyes. 'I am a wicked, wicked woman,' she had said with that low resonating voice she knew by now drove him mad, 'and I will lead you down paths you never knew existed before.'

He had just raised his brow and she had burst into laughter once again. 'And I ever so often love to exaggerate.' Not a moment after she had tilted her head and had said, 'but then again, my love, how much exactly do I know about your paths? Too little, I fear So you can tell me about those along the ways we are going to walk together.'

As so many times before she had swept him of his feet. And again had stunned him. He, an ex-Templar in love with a mage. How strange life could go. As if she had read his thoughts she had taken his hand in his hers. With a hesitant smile she had said, 'What I meant was you never put me on the spot. In fact you made me into a real woman when you kissed me in that courtyard. I didn't have to be an icon, a hero, a saviour. Have you any idea how tiresome and energy-absorbing that whole Inquisitor thing can be? And just, then and there, I could just be a girl in love. And you made it real. Thank you for that.'

He had pulled her close and without any words had just caressed her. Yes, he had some inkling of how tiresome it could be.

And thus without any hesitation he had followed her to her bedroom that same evening and shared another wonderful night with her. A night that now came to an end. And definitely came to an end when life indeed banged on the door. Literally. 'Lady Inquisitor?'

Evelyn groaned glumly. 'Not this soon.'

Next to her Cullen shifted. 'There's someone at the door,' he mumbled drowsily.

There came another knock, more probing this time. 'Inquisitor?' The voice had attained some force.

The asked for Inquisitor sighed annoyed. 'So why don't you open it?'

With some difficulty Cullen heaved his head that felt like it was made out of some heavy metal. He looked blearily at her. 'Aren't you the Inquisitor?' He tried a charming though still very sleepy smile to parry her displeased expression. It didn't help. Evelyn looked icily back. He knew by now she was not a morning person, to put it mildly, and had wondered more than once how she had coped with the stern Circle routine. Or perhaps better how the others had coped with her. Undoubtedly it was way wiser to just give in. At least to save his hide. He contemplated his options and came to the conclusion there was only one. 'Right. So it's up to me.'

Evelyn dropped her head back on the pillow. 'You got it, mister,' she murmured and closed her eyes with a contented grunt, evidently planning on extending her night rest some more.

Cullen sagged, or better didn't sag but instead heaved himself up. 'Don't worry, I have this one,' he grumbled. With heroic effort he dragged himself out of the bed and stumbled to the door. If he could pull himself through the Chant of Transfiguration, he could endure this simple challenge. Damn it. Somewhat too late, i.e. at the moment he opened said door, he realised he was stark naked. It didn't help the person at the other side of the door almost hit his manly parts head-on with his impressive nose and the second person standing next to the short first one gave him a bright toothy grin which was attended by such a smouldering look Cullen automatically took two steps back. 'Evelyn!' he cried out alarmed, his voice caught as if his virtue got violated. He was at once wide awake. He spun on his heels and dived back into the bed. 'Please, take this over,' he pleaded, his words smothered in the cushion he had grabbed to hide his face in. 'I will do anything for you, everything, but not this.'

'O dear, I think we aroused him,' Dorian commented with such a straight face it should be fined. Needless to say he was overly pleased with the unexpected treat. 'Nice, er, bottom by the way,' he added joyfully, causing Cullen to try the trick of invisibility on the spot.

'Shut up,' Varric reacted with a venomous smile that was a fine on itself. He nudged him with his elbow in the lower ribs while holding a steady eye on Evelyn who, clad in a robe she had hastily wrapped around her body, came striding towards them as the personification of cold and determined nemesis.

'What is the meaning of this,' she as good as growled with clipped words and flaming eyes. It had scared the shit out off most of the Circle Templars and the dwarf and the Tevinter mage involuntary felt a shiver go down their spine. With force Varric threw off the creepy feeling; he straightened his shoulders and opened his mouth.

At the very moment Fenris stepped forward. 'I apologise,' he said unperturbed. He was, after all, familiar with Hawke's notorious morning moods, and was quite certain she would have thrown a couple of fireballs in their direction by now. He considered the momentary lack of angry magical outbursts only an advantage. But before he could go any further Evelyn lifted her hand. She shot him a wan smile. 'Fenris I presume? I've heard of your arrival.' Another feeble smile followed the first one. 'So I should be the one to apologise,' she said, 'since I should have taken the time to greet you. But I was –'

'Otherwise engaged?' Varric suggested innocently. She gave such a deadly glare in return it would have shrunk lesser men. The dwarf however continued unruffled, 'but we didn't come to disturb your early morning rituals to exchange pleasantries.' He paused a few heartbeats for the effect. 'We have a situation. A serious one.'

Not half an hour later they were all gathered in the War Room; even Dorian had tagged along although under normal circumstances he gave the widest berth possible to the place. He didn't like the severe responsibility that wafted from the room, he had explained on several occasions; he had more than a handful worries to carry with him and loads of the stuff to keep him occupied with the problems of his origin. He needn't more to make his life complicated. But this time he put forward he had been at the start of it all and wanted to see where the next stage led. Varric on the other hand suspected highly he simply wandered blindly and thoughtlessly, and driven by all kinds of instincts the lower brain broadcasted, after Cullen because he was attracted like a magnet to the Commander's behind now he had seen what that looked like in the flesh, so to say. The Inquisitor on her turn tried to get a foothold to reality by imbibing gallons of strong black coffee, with a certain degree of success. She pinched the bridge of her nose after Varric was done with his report.

'So, summarising,' she said with a croaked voice, 'Marian Hawke was hearing the voice of Corypheus in her head, telling her she was a bad, bad girl and proclaiming all sorts of nasty things and now she has disappeared.'

Varric cringed. 'Yes. Not very eloquently put but close enough I suppose. You skipped however the part of the gone missing horse and the traces we, well, the Spymaster´s scouts found over the mountain pass, seemingly heading for the Western Approach.´

Evelyn waved her hand impatiently. ´Those tracks could lead anywhere! There´s no reason at all to assume she´s galloping straight to Adamant!´

´Except for the fact Corypheus is apparently planning his next move over there,´ said Fenris who was pacing the room, strained as a caged lion. ´And assuming Marian is dragged to the place as if he is playing with her like she were a puppet on a string.´

´But why she? That doesn't make any sense,' Leliana put forward, 'I could understand if Corypheus would want to influence the Inquisitor's mind, but what does he have to gain by driving the Champion insane?'

Varric contemplatively drummed the top of the large table, causing some strategic placed figures to tumble over. Cassandra raised an eyebrow but no-one else paid it any attention, too absorbed in the observation of the dwarf's musing expression as they were. 'Well,' he finally said, 'the bastard has a – special connection with the Hawkes. I mean, pops was the one who bound him to the Warden prison, on penalty of death, or better the death of his pregnant wife I might add, and then the daughter came along.' He groaned at the memory. 'He forced the daughter to come along, using dwarfs of all races. Ugh,' he groaned some more and deeper this time. 'And, despite the crystal-clear evidence he was as dead as a too impatient and too passionate squashed toad in the mating season, she actually freed him. Or so it now seems. I swear we left him stabbed, shot and singed to death on that blasted prison floor, no way he could draw a single breath ever again.' He turned to the elf who was still walking back and forth. 'You were there, you saw what happened!'

Fenris stopped at a window and looked at the beautiful with snow powdered mountains that surrounded the castle. 'It is no use trying to rectify our actions, Varric,' he said softly, 'only we know we were convinced we took the right decision.' He smiled sadly. 'So many times I tried to tell Marian it was not her fault.' He rested his elbows on the windowsill and sighed slightly. 'Yes, she was utterly upset to find -.' He bowed his head and then, in a sudden near aggressive movement turned to the gathering. 'She tried to do the good thing; she found out her father had been forced to use blood magic to bind the monster and it almost undid her. Even though Malcolm Hawke had been abducted and forced to do what he did.' He snorted derisively. 'Even if he had refused, the Wardens would have killed his wife and in that gruesome scenario Marian wouldn't have been here to –' He abruptly halted. She had always adored her father. It had been more than a severe blow to find out her father had used blood magic, whether he had been forced to it, for whatever reasons, or not. He had spent ages trying to make her see. 'I never knew Malcolm Hawke but in the way his teaching,' he continued in a more mellow tone, 'his actions, his words resonated in his daughter, I held the man in high esteem. And for anybody who knows my history with mages,' his eyes fluttered for a short near immeasurable moment to Dorian who had the decency to just nod his head and shot him a understanding look, 'the trust and confidence I put in my woman and her father goes far and beyond my limits.' He laughed mirthlessly. 'Let alone I would defend him in his decision to use blood magic to save his family.' He hung his head and then looked up and his blazing gaze almost blew Leliana and especially Cassandra away. 'What would have been your choice? Would you have simply let kill your loved-ones out of misplaced righteousness like some kind of arrogant so called brother of the Faith I once knew, or would you have followed your own contentiousness?'

Both women stared mesmerized at him. 'Or have you never loved someone in the first place,' Fenris let his harsh words follow with even more harsh ones, 'In that case my plead will fall on deaf ears anyway.' He turned back to the window.

Cullen cleared his throat. 'Please, Fenris, know we, I at least, will never condemn Hawke for what she has done in that Warden prison.' He shook his head. 'To be honest, I thought the dispute would be about her role in ... ' his face crunched, if only at the horrible memory, 'in that night, that night –'

Fenris turned fast as a viper. 'That night she decided to defend the mages against Meredith's insanity and the whole of Kirkwall fell apart,' he hissed, 'do you really have to bring that occasion up at this time?! Would you have rather your deranged Knight Commander would have had her way and go on with her plan of murdering all the mages in the Circle who had nothing to do with that one action of one completely gone mad mage?' His markings blew ablaze and everyone took a step back, hypnotized staring at his display of pure ferocity. 'Ah yes, of course you will take that action as evidence Marian can't be trusted, that she must be clapped in irons and dragged about as an example and everyone can cheer she has been taken captive. The foul instigator of the uprising of the Circle in Kirkwall, the true kindler of all the misery in Thedas! Will that let you sleep at night?!' His voice had taken a deep rumbling menacing tone.

Evelyn took a step forward but Cullen beat her by grasping her wrist and checking her swift move. He was afraid she would lash out to defend him and there was no need. He had been there, he knew what had happened. He was a witness, she wasn't. This was his field of war, his area of expertise. He knew what Fenris spoke about. He had lived through that awful night and survived it, to his great surprise. And had made the choice to give them a save passage in the grave end. She backed down, to his surprise to be honest. In the meantime he held Fenris's ferocious look. 'No,' he said calmly, 'the Maker only knows how many sleepless nights followed but I never regretted taken that step back to give you a safe passage.' His smile was morose to say the least of it. Perhaps brittle would do it more justice. 'Because just as you I knew Meredith had lost her mind and nothing good could come from that.'

Fenris eyed him and his look was nothing but cynical. 'So good you came to that conclusion right in time,' he scoffed.

Varric stepped forward. 'Now, elf,' he sounded all but reasonable, 'we all know the Commander gave us the chance to survive the idiotic situation.' He took a deep sigh. 'Be honest, both of you did, and if Hawke were here, she would have dealt you both a ferocious and well earned whack around the ears.'

As on cue Cassandra stepped forward. 'If I may,' she said.

'Ah yes,' Varric reacted, dramatically throwing his arms in the air, 'and at last the heroine steps forward and takes the scene.' He bowed deep. 'The stage is all yours, milady.' And with that he withdrew.

The Inquisitor gave the dwarf an exasperated look. She eyed around. She wasn't used to speak in public and frankly it gave her the creeps, but what she had to make clear was too important to let er fear take over. She stood straight. 'I think,' she put her hands on the table and absentmindedly straightened the little figurines Varric had toppled over, 'I think he is aiming at chaos.'

Now she had all undivided attention and it scared her to death. Despite she soldiered on. She clenched her jaw and stated, 'we can discuss forever whether the Champion's choice to back the mages was the right one or she'd better support the Templars, it doesn't matter. It could have been the other way around and it would have led to the same outcome; colour me an idiot but I think the one and only reason Corypheus picked the Champion, picked Marian Hawke to address is the reason he is convinced she is the only person in the world capable to create enough chaos to serve his purpose. It doesn't matter she or her father before her used blood magic to free him. He doesn't give a damn she freed him! The only thing that does matter is he believes she will create chaos and chaos is what he is aiming at. Mages, Templars, the whole unsavoury war between them, that is chaos and he thrives on it. And he uses her as the example, the instigator. He needs her because he is convinced she is the one who ripped Kirkwall apart and, if he can drive her insane enough, she will be the one who will bring chaos enough to rip apart the whole of Thedas.'

She looked around at the silent faces and pressed on. 'Don't you see?! That's the reason why he chose her and not the Inquisitor. Only she, in his eyes, is the chosen one. So she is the one to hear his voice. Because she is already riddled with guilt and thus sensitive to his Call. And already stood at the source of all destruction.'

Long silence met her words.

Finally Varric flared up. 'So you still blame her!'

Fenris grasped his arm. He looked across the dwarf's head at the Seeker. 'No, Varric, she doesn't. She only tries to explain and I think she has a point.'

Varric huffed, 'I hope you're right.'

Cassandra eyed him with fondness which brought him completely off balance. If the Seeker showed anything but contempt the whole world would stumble off balance and come to an end. He let the Inquisitor take his arm and let him gently lead out of the room. 'What about a strong drink before we attack Adamant Fortress?' he heard her say. He just managed to voice his approval.

'But he loves her,' Cole objected.

Solas smiled faintly. 'Yes,' he mused, 'and never, or rarely, I have noticed or felt in this world someone carry so much love for some other living being .'

'And yet you allowed them to be separated,' Cole all but shrieked, 'and hurt each other. I don't understand.'

Outwardly composed Solas turned his attention to the mural painting he was working at at the moment. 'Perhaps they should be told a lesson of how to appreciate each other and not to take love for granted,' he murmured absentmindedly. 'Humans, elves and, to be honest dwarves as well, are so easy to take love for granted.'

He missed completely the furious explosion of his protégé. 'As if you have loved, really loved,' Cole burst out, 'do you know what it means? Would you, if you really knew what is love all about, have sent her into the Fade?' He wouldn't have bothered but for the fact he had really been touched, deeply touched, by the feelings the already marred elf had carried for the the woman they called the Campion and, for that matter, had been marred herself. As a spirit of compassion all that pain was hard to bear.

Solas turned sharply, as been bitten by a poisonous snake, and lashed out with his brush. A few drops of paint flew about and attached on Cole's pale skin. 'Never,' he bit, 'never speak to me about love again,'

'You are really scared,' Cole concluded, not taking any notice of Solas's outburst whatsoever. And Solas should have known taking a spirit under his wings would cause this kind of collateral damage. He may seem a kid, he was a – nuisance. And a dangerous one at that. he tried to compose himself but only succeeded that far.

'What do you want from me,' he snarled.

'That you put things right,' Cole simply said. 'Guide her trough the Fade, bring them back together, repair what you have demolished.' He tilted his head and Solas hated him for doing so. It reminded him too strongly of the one love in his life. She had been the reason he had defended Cole. Then again, she had never put in mind all his lost memories, his lost feelings. His failure. That blasted orb ... It was typical for Cole to do so, to investigate, to try to turn his mind inside out. But he had voted for him and, to his surprise, the Inquisitor had backed him.

'I am not your slave,' Cole at the very minute stated, and it left him nearly speechless.

'How in all the world,' he started stammering, completely knocked off his feet. He had never should have allowed the dwarf to mingle in his affairs. He had never should have allowed him to enter his room while he was trying to put Cole under his influence by the use of the amulet the Inquisitor had so kindly provided.

The spirit who wasn't a spirit any longer smiled. 'I read the Tevinter elf's feelings and memories,' he stated with an angelic smile Solas very much wanted to wipe away, 'and I found out his former master wanted to control him in the way you want to control me. I think both of you are very scared.' He added, 'I think the only reason you enter the Fade is trying to find and win back your control over the place, Dread Wolf, but you know you aren't strong enough and you need her ...' He continued, 'that is why you lured her in ... and the reason you called for me.' He smiled though this time the smile had a kind of, how to put it, fang- quality to it. 'You know, Dread Wolf, what goes around comes around. You can all me, try to change me, but you never know how your little plays turn out.'

Solas, in horror, put his hands to his mouth.

Cole smiled and rolled up in a ball. 'You need her. Go and protect her, Dread Wolf.' He as good as purred. 'Perhaps we should take a trip to the Fade.'

I know the plan of the Inquisitor's bedroom is different from the one I pictured, that is, you have to storm down a flight of stairs to meet the people banging at the door; I simplified it because it better suited the story; sorry for that.

Besides that, thanks for reading! I love you all and don't forget it!