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AN: As always, enjoy the chapter! ^_^

Chapter 22: Food for thought

A naïve part of me wished for things in Slytherin House to cool down to be a nice fun place for me as I was sure it was for lots of my housemates. But that wasn't about to happen any time soon, so I tried for it to not get me down.

I didn't tell anyone of what happened with Snape and Mulciber. I didn't mention it to Peter, and more importantly I didn't tell Lily.

Something deep inside kept me from it. Maybe it was my bruised ego or pride, either way the day after the incident when Lily asked me how my night had been, I lied. I kept the truth to myself, and forced it to not bother me. There was no point in letting it get to me, even less when nothing too bad had come off it. I've had way worse exchanges with Lorcan Mulciber. It wasn't a big deal, and that was what I told myself when I refuse to speak of it to Lily. In my mind I knew she had a right to know; I had used her name to steer the conversation to my advantage. I suppose I didn't only for my peace of mind, to not admit to the hostility I mostly experienced in my House, and to not mention Severus Snape to her.

So I ignored every housemate related issue for a couple days and concentrated fully on my studies.

Though Lily urged me to take it a bit slower for my sanity's sake, I didn't listen. In my opinion I was perfectly sane. The one with the problem was her. As much as Lily was able to keep to level with my kind of studying, she couldn't do it for long. Unlike me, she had Prefect duties and a boyfriend to occupy her time. And though she tried to mix all up together, her duties, studying, her friends and Uric Belby to have a better management of her time and not to lack to any of them, she came short with time. I on the other hand, had all my free time to immerse myself into reading and revising, and I would do that whenever I could.

I studied with Lily or with Mary, or both if it was possible. I sat in my favourite table in the Library and revised the hours away until it was time to either sleep or eat. If Peter joined me, I would pull out a parchment of notes to memorize them because he wasn't one that liked helping me. If the Marauders appeared out of nowhere, I would urge Remus Lupin to quiz me.

Hell, that's was what we were doing two days before February's full moon.

In an empty classroom on the second floor, I sat with Remus and James Potter. We had been there for hours. I ran into them when I was leaving the Great Hall after dinner, and they refuse to leave me in peace. Therefore, Peter gave the idea of finding a private space where we could be comfortable. Obviously I tried to go against him, but the rest of the boys were into it, and I was overruled. I don't really understand their obsession over keeping an eye on me. Initially, when they said they would do that, I thought it would be limited to checking in on me once or twice. It had gotten overboard. Someday I spent more times around the Gryffindor boys than I did with Lily, and that bothered me. It was Peter's fault, I decided, whose nice friendship with me made the rest gravitate after him.

Pushing unused desks aside, one of the boys had lighted up the classroom's fireplace, and we had sat in a semicircle in front of it. For the longest time the Gryffindors went about their own conversation, and eager to be ignored, I pulled out a text book. I had not read two pages or had gotten any blood knowledge headaches before Remus scooted pass Peter to me. He asked if I was studying for the Transfiguration test and when I said yes there was no stopping him from studying with me.

Though sick with the coming transformation, Remus insisted on jumping fully into it. We quizzed each other for a while; at some point the rest of the Marauders joined us. Whether it was boredom or the actually need to do well in the test that compelled them to involve themselves, I don't know. It was a nice moment when they finally did something that didn't annoy me. They were brilliant at it. Peter need all the help he could get, but Remus was a great student, and his intelligence reminded me much of Lily's. The other two James and Sirius were naturals, and I almost hated them when one of them said they barely studied.

When they grew tired of studying, Peter and Black went to fetch treats from the kitchen and James laid back on his elbows to watch the fire.

Closing my text book with a gentle smile, Remus placed it to the side. His face was devoid of color and at odd moments he would either work out at sweat or shiver with the cold. He claimed that it was enough for the night, his eyes dropping heavily in the orange glow of the fire. I looked at my watch. It wasn't curfew yet, and should I had been alone, I wouldn't stop at least until an hour more. Remus sighed and laid down on his side. I didn't know if he was capable of falling asleep instantly, but he didn't move for a long time. As I watched him, I could feel our connection. It was growing stronger with each passing second as the full moon neared. On his other side was James who had sat back up. Sprawled as he watched the crackling fire, he had his hands pressed to the floor. He must have felt my gaze, for not a minute went by before he spoke to me.

"Faraday," He got my instant attention. It was the first time I had heard him use my name. The fact of it unsettled me. This was serious Potter talking, and this side of him nerved me a tad. He didn't look at me when he spoke, and I couldn't really see his expression well, his glasses made it difficult. "Could you do me a favour?"

I put my notes away, tucking them into my bag. I tried not to look at the Gryffindor more. No need for him to see my vacillation in case he felt the stare again. "What's in it for me?"

"I'll give you anything you want."

He was as sombre as it was uncharacteristic of him and I didn't like it. Why couldn't I get stuck with snobbish, prat Potter that Lily loved to hate? Why did I have to deal with this side? Still, I tried to play it normal. Though, I was curious as to where he was going. "I'm listening."

"Do you think you could put a good word in for me to Evans?" This time he did look at me. For a moment I thought the glare of the fire would make the lens of his glasses shine as he turned to look at me as he spoke, but that didn't happen. I came full face with sombre Potter in all his glory, sitting in a modest fashion next to his sleeping friend. "You're good friends; maybe she'll see me in a new light if it's coming from you."

I'll admit it, I almost said yes to his wild idea. He seemed so humbly bare as he spoke, that I didn't want to hurt him. However that feeling lasted only a second. My thoughts went to Lily and of all her rants about the Gryffindor Quidditch Captain, and all the times I had used his name to tease my friend. I was starting to like James that much was true. Though it was annoying to come to terms with it, I did find him funny and remarkably gifted in brains and the wizard sport. Yet I didn't know him well enough to do that kind of favour. What's more, it wouldn't be fair to Lily, who was my friend and trusted me to stay level headed among the Marauders. "I could say the very best things of you, James, but her feelings won't change if she doesn't see them to be true."

To my surprise, he let the subject drop with a simple, almost crestfallen nod of his head.

That was the moment Peter and Sirius chose to arrive.

Peter hurried to my side, his arms stacking many different kinds of yummy snacks that spiked my interest. Kneeling next to me, he began placing the treats on the floor. James scooted pass Remus to get to them as Sirius sat in front of us with his back to the fireplace. With a hand in the process of messing his hair, I watched Potter search through the pile. If my last words to him deflated him somewhat, it didn't appear to be so anymore. He was back to his normal spirits, pushing his best friend with a bump of his shoulders.

"Is Moony still alive?" Black asked, unceremoniously dumping all the goods he carried in the middle of their strange circle we formed on top of the ones Peter had neatly placed down a moment before.

"No." Came a rumble from the huddled figured that had become Remus Lupin as he rested.

Sorting the snacks around, while two of his friends grabbed at them, Sirius smirked. His dark hair framed his face as he leaned forward, shooting a glance to the resting Gryffindor. "Good, more chocolate for me then."

In a swift movement, Remus sat up. Waiving an arm toward Sirius, he went for the pile. "Get away, fiend."

A round of laughter ensued, one that I couldn't escape from joining. Peter sat next to me, fixing the mess his friend had made. There was an assortment of goods; some appeared indeed to had been gotten from the kitchens. There were tarts, biscuits and other solid puddings that seemed to be the same ones served at dinner earlier. But there were also Cauldron Cakes, chocolate bars and frogs, a box of Berties Bott's Every Flavour Beans and an opened bag of Fizzing Whizzbees.

I eyed them, eager to try a couple of them.

Peter fished in the pile and he gave me a Cauldron Cake, knowing that it was one of my favourite. It looked as savoury as they all did, and I grabbed for it gladly. I smiled at my Gryffindor friend, pealing the wrapping away. As I did that, I felt a stare at me. Two stares, actually. When I turned to look up from my sweet, I saw that James and Sirius had their eyes on me. They looked away as quickly as possible, but I caught them. Whatever had crossed their minds when they stared at me, I tried to ignore.

"I can't wait for the full moon." Sirius arching his back as he sat crossed legged.

"Speak for yourself." Remus said darkly, glaring at his friend with the same intensity of his words.

Grabbing at the pile of goodies, Sirius fished out a rectangle and pealed the paper off. With the richly brown chocolate of the bar expose, he offered it to his cursed friend. There was a moment as I looked at them, that I thought it was a stupid looking manner of apology, but since I barely knew both boys I figured I had no right to judge them. Eyeing him, Remus leaned forward to take the bar. He bit into the chocolate with a passion, and just like that they were both content again.

A moment went by before James spoke to me again. Nothing like his previous sombre self, it gave me peace of mind that he was more normal now. "Will you be joining us Faraday?"

Caught mid bite of my cake, I chewed down to be able to answer him. Such horrible timing, there was nothing more that I wanted to do than enjoy every single bit of the cake without the meddlesome affair that was talking. I shrugged a half-assed movement that one might not be able to notice in the weak light of the fire. "Probably. I don't have control over what I do in that state."

"You look like you've had one too many shots of Firewhisky." Peter said, but that was something I remembered he had already said to me at some point after Christmas.

I smiled at him.

Potter cleared his throat to get my attention away from Peter. When he had it, his eyes roamed my face before they landed on my eyes, almost embarrassed to do so. "How does the whole thing work? I mean, Moony's transformation begins with him getting sick a few days before."

"Well, mine's not really a transformation. It's more like a secret part of me wakes up and takes over. Normally it waits till the moon is high." I thought things through with what I could lucidly remember. "Yeah, I go to bed, and when the moon's already fully out I wake up and just walk out the dorm."

"And you don't get caught?" Sirius asked me between mouthfuls of a tart he had gotten out of the pile.

"No. Hasn't happened yet." I told him staring straight into his eyes. I didn't like to do that. Of all the Marauder's his eyes were the ones that captivated me the most. I adored looking at them when he was in dog form, but as a person it seemed awkward to lose myself in them. Pushing that aside, I went on. "How do you guys not get caught?"

"We made a map." Peter chirped in to my side.

I nodded as an acknowledgement of his words.

There was a tense second in which the other three boys looked at Peter as if to chastise him for what he said. It was odd as they tensed, clearly trying to keep some kind of Marauder secret. When the information was out in the open, and they knew they couldn't take Peter's words back the three Gryffindors had different array of reactions. Potter viciously bit his lip as he tried to cut back his reaction of irritation, Black moved his hand as if he wanted to smack Peter on the head, Remus shook his head; all at the same time Peter looked down frighten realizing what he did. After that, they eyed me, seeming to be waiting for a reaction in me. When there was none, because I just sat there watching them watch me, Lupin spoke. He was as pale as one would think his sickness got him, but after the chocolate he seemed livelier around the eyes. "You're not a very curious person, are you Faraday?"

I made a face resisting the urge to shrug. I did that too much around them already. I hadn't expected that my lack of interest would be something surprising to them. Why should it? Anyway, there was a different between not caring, curiosity and not needing to know. In my way of thinking, not needing to know was a pleasant spot to cruise in. I knew too much already, and my disinterest alleviated the tense air. "I don't need to know everything about you guys."

After that I stuffed the rest of my Cauldron Cake in my mouth, and we concentrated on the snacks Peter and Sirius had brought for our enjoyment.

The girls that slept beside me didn't stir as I ascended from my bed. The pull of the moon had awoken me, and under her influence I felt contentment. All was as it should be. My world had balance and happiness in it once more for I was free. And at that moment, I needed to feel the moon on my skin. I needed the wind to mess my hair and for the ground to embrace my feet. I desperately needed to run with the pack.

There was no sound as my feet diligently met with the soft fabrics that decorated the floors, the hem of my nightgown caressing them to silence.

I glided from my bed to the door, from the common room to the portrait hole. There was a desperate thirst in me, the one that called simply for the feel of Lady Moon's touch and I was to satisfy it as I did whenever she reigned.

My hand, a strange five legged creature in the darkness of the room, raised itself to the back of the painting that shielded the students of Salazar Slytherin from the rest of the castle. The movement was involuntary, I had not willed it up, but my appendage knew my needs and it worked to get me to fulfil them.

"Morgana?" An old man spoke as I walked passed him. It was a voice I knew well. An ancient voice of a man that had taken me to worlds unknown and had condemned me. That or the voice of a man that cared and mentored me more times that I cared to acknowledged and for two lifetimes. In my state, I couldn't separate which.

"You've gone senile, Merlin." I felt myself saying, though it seemed ridiculous considering I was talking to a painting. My voice seemed different, I couldn't recognize it as my own, yet somehow I knew deep inside that there was only one owner of it. "But then again, you are merely a painting."

I didn't turn to him, I couldn't. In my mind I had the perfect image of him, and in my delirium it was easy to push it way. "Don't go, Faraday. Control it and go back to sleep."

His plead was coated with concern and it brought out a tenderness in my being that didn't belong truly to me. It was hers, but it washed over me with its emotions, my skin tingling in ways I didn't need to understand. I wanted to look, I could had force myself for the fluid motion, yet I did not. The affection brought sadness to me, a feeling I understood better than the tenderness, and I wanted nothing of it. Not when I was to meet with the moon. "I can't. It's who I am."

I swayed away. The moon beckoned and the pack in the forest wanted to play.

. . .