Over 1000 miles away Charlie lay tossing and turning in his bed. He could barely sleep since he had left, despite how exhausted he was. His muscles ached, his bones felt sore and his conscious was heavy with guilt. He knew leaving that night had been a mistake but it was like Bill said if he didn't leave now he never would.
He knew If he had waited for Arabelle to wake up it would only take one look at her face for him to change his mind. It had killed him to sneak into their room in the early hours of the morning to pack his stuff without waking her. He had taken all the photos of them together not only because he didn't want to forget any detail of what she looked like but also because he knew Arabelle would be angry and he worried that she would get rid of them, attempting to forget him.
He touched the leather bracelet on his wrist. It had lain on her dressing table, she had always worn it when they were younger but since she started work it was always on the table. He knew it was selfish but he needed something of hers to hold on to, something so he knew his memories of her were real, so he had taken it. He had wanted to wake her up so badly, just looking at her, peaceful and beautiful with her dark hair sprawled around her, made his eyes sting. He was giving her up, and just the thought made him begin to shake, like an addict, addicted to a strong drug. He knew deep down the medical training at the sanctuary was nowhere near as good as it was here. Her future was bright and promising here and taking her with him would have been more selfish than leaving without saying goodbye. He knew his family would understand and forgive him, maybe Arabelle would understand one day too but he wasn't sure she would ever be able to forgive him. Yet he would never forgive himself for taking her away from what was so important to her.
He had written her a letter the night he arrived at the sanctuary. It had taken him hours to get it all down on paper the way he wanted. He then copied it out again on several different pieces of parchment. He knew the first few she wouldn't read but he hoped that curiosity would get the better of her eventually.
He felt as if his heart didn't work properly without her, it always hurt. They had never been apart before, and although Charlie loved working with the dragons here, he regretted leaving her more and more every minute. There wasn't a day that went by without him thinking of her. The way she smelled when she was close and whispering to him, the way she laughed uncontrollably when the twins were around, the way she looked with her long hair falling down her back, the way she felt when he held her close. The thoughts of her were always in his mind. He needed her in his system like he needed the air to survive. He loved her, he knew that, and he wasn't going to give up until she knew that too.