As promised a not only revised but also considerably extended chapter 16.

Enjoy!

Wintersend part 16

He drifted aimlessly along the place, completely bewildered. He didn't recognise this part of the Fade, it felt hostile and unforgiving. This realm seemed to have been created for one sole reason: to get hold of human minds by terrifying them into submission. He might be a spirit but he had shared a human brain long enough to understand that much. And also to know with solid certainty those pathetic gullible creatures would fall for it. He had noticed their arrival and wondered what to do. Should he warn them? He sneered disdainfully. As if that would make any difference. They wouldn't listen anyhow and even if they did they wouldn't be able to beat off the attack. Justice rounded another corner and halted; he hated to admit it but he had no idea where he was heading. He had been away from the Fade for too long to see it any longer as his natural habitat and besides, he could never call this domain of nightmares his home.

Would he have had breath to his disposal he would have heaved a whole-hearted sigh; he was completely clueless about what to do now. It was a harsh truth to face but he couldn't get away from it: he had lost the purpose of his existence. He never had been adequately able to get a grasp on the flow of time outside the Fade, but nevertheless he was certain he had spent quite an amount of it convincing Anders to at last take drastic measurements against the oppression of mages. He had been exalted when they had finally carried out their plan, so exalted he had at first missed the sudden wave of panic and guilt that had stormed Anders's mind and flooded his rock-hard confidence in the mission. He had understood little of the mage's whining that had followed about the many casualties and the loss of his friends. Had he really believed you could start a revolution without causing victims? And as far as he could see it he had lost his so-called friends way before already and besides, they hadn't been very cooperative. Rather the opposite. To haul him out off his stupor Justice had relentlessly urged him on to continue their work. The mage rebellion in Kirkwall had only been the start, there was much more to do. Anders's state of mind hadn't improved when they found out their actions hadn't in fact been the beginning of the occurrences in Thedas but in the end Justice had succeeded in rekindling at least a spark of grim enthusiasm.

And then everything had come to a crashing halt when the vile song of the Calling had begun. He had been as upset and unnerved as Anders and in his confusion he had agreed to return to the Fade in an attempt to get separated because, as Anders had pointed out, roaming around the world, or worse, the Deep Roads on his own would be no option. And now here he was, alone and bewildered and wondering what to do. He had been a spirit of Justice once, before vengeance had shouldered his way in, and he desperately tried to remember what that implied again. Slowly he felt some of his old determination return and he straightened his shoulders, as a matter of speaking. In a realm like this there had to be injustice to fight. He just had to find it.

Cautiously Anders withdrew deeper into the shadows lingering between the rough hewn pillars. The cheeriness he had bravely emanated vanished from his face. He felt extremely tired and – empty. And that was not only due to the sudden absence of Justice. He clenched one hand vigorously into a fist. No, it was not emptiness that threatened to overwhelm him; he simply was at a loss. Now more than ever he regretted the impulse, so many years ago, of inviting the spirit into his body. Yes, he had taken pity on Justice but that had not been the only motive; he had also been driven by curiosity about what would happen. Lightening the bad situation of the mages hadn't played any part whatsoever in his decision back then. Justice's incessant prodding had at first just kindled annoyance but with his persistent and incisive questions which had come in an endless stream he had finally managed to breach the hard shell of Anders's indifference and reached his conscience; slow but sure he had opened his eyes for the injustice mages suffered. With everything it had led to.

Was it fair to state he had paid a high price for his inquisitiveness? He let out a pained sigh. It would probably be easy and even cheap to say he had but he couldn't help wondering what kind of man he would have been without that blasted spirit. He had once told Hawke they had influenced each other but now he was freed of Justice's occupation he wasn't so sure anymore. Oh yes, of course he had been angry about how mages were treated, how they were locked away like dangerous bloodthirsty criminals, but that anger, or perhaps better irritation, had not played a very significant part in his thoughts and actions. To be honest, in those days he had very much enjoyed breaking out off the Tower and being chased by furious Templars. It had been his favourite pastime, next to getting the Templars nervous and putting them on edge by spreading the most ridiculous and outlandish rumours when they had dragged him back into imprisonment. It had been Justice who had ignited that urge of doing something about the unfairness and bigotry mages faced every day. Doing something about had changed into fighting against and that had slowly but inevitably evolved in feelings of revenge. Undoubtedly by then they indeed had started to influence each other, if only to outwit one another. In a rather juvenile way, really. It had resulted in a vicious circle of blame, hate and vengeance that turned out to be a lethal one in the end. One thing was indisputable, if he hadn't been so stupid as to play the host to the spirit he would never have got it into his head to blow up the Chantry.

He leaned heavily against a piece of rock and rubbed his brow. Bumping into Hawke had been harder than he had anticipated. Perhaps it would have been wiser not to seek her out after he had sensed her presence. For years he had been convinced his feelings for her had drowned in the ones of hatred and his feverish efforts to put an end to the power of Meredith and her army of despicable Templars. Although he had to confess jealousy had reared its ugly head every time he had seen her together with Fenris. If possible he had despised the elf even more than the Templars but he knew damn well envy had been the reason for that, no matter how hard he had tried to convince himself he was concerned the elf was a bad influence. Who had he been fooling. One look upon her had made clear he still loved her. Justice had done his utter best to steer him away from what he called "a dangerous distraction" and even had gone as far as to diminish his feelings by disparaging them as typical foolish human behaviour. But now he had kicked the spirit out off his existence, Anders became painfully aware his love hadn't dwindled; if possible it had only increased or at any rate had stayed as burning as it had started and for a long time had been. He had felt his stomach forcefully tighten while he witnessed how devotedly Fenris had worried about Hawke when she had nearly collapsed. With a touch of shame he remembered how he had accused the elf of not being capable of love. How he had been proven wrong! And yet he couldn't help wondering if he had made a chance with her if Justice hadn't stood in the way. He grimaced; that was speculation in its pure form. Totally futile. Without Justice he had never met Marian Hawke. Without Justice he had never ended up in Kirkwall.

He shook his head to get rid of his contemplations; they were useless anyway. He couldn't change history. And history could only hurt him.

At this point he hesitated what to do. Just as Fenris he hadn't been surprised to find out the Divine had in fact been Hawke in some kind of magical disguise. Just as the elf he had recognized her eyes. What had shocked him was the unspeakable crime the Grey Wardens apparently had committed. It had even been worse than Cullen already had anticipated. He had shied away from the Order, fled from it, but still felt connected to it in some deranged way. The Hero of Ferelden had sworn him in, she had saved his life by doing so. And though he had abandoned the Order, there was still some kind of connection. If only through the Darkspawn taint. He snorted at the irony. And over the years he had learned to understand their predicament and even more their drive.

Why had they done it? Had it something to do with the Calling they all seemed to be hearing? Whatever the case, it was obvious Corypheus was behind it all. He was still trying to digest the information both Hawke and Cullen had given him. Could it really be possible the dark song that had suddenly chimed in his head and pulled at his blood was false? If so, what was he supposed to do about it? As long as he was trapped in the Fade he could do nothing at all but the moment he would step out into the open he would be arrested and executed. He had no illusions about that, no matter how lenient Cullen had presented himself. The Commander had without doubt been dazzled by his reluctant fall into the Fade and besides he wasn't the only one to decide about his fate. So, if he chose to do undertake anything at all, he had to move like a shadow in the dark.

But no matter what, one way or another he had to get out of here and as far as he saw it he had two options. He could follow the Inquisitor and her group as stealthily as he could – showing himself was out of the question. Things were already as complicated as they could get and to be honest he feared a confrontation with Fenris. Or he could try to locate Cole. The spirit had found a way in, he must know how to escape this – literally - Maker forsaken place. But he had to choose fast. Time, as a matter of speaking, was running out.

Deep in thought Solas ambled along what was left of the Temple of Ashes, now and again irritably kicking at a piece of debris, scattered around plenty. The roof was mostly gone after the devastating explosion and the breach cast an unnatural sickly green light, drowning the bright illumination of the moon and the stars. He was still simmering inside but he kept the anger in check. Back in Haven he had almost killed Evelyn Trevelyan on a whim when she was in his care after the blast but he had stayed his hand. It would have been so easy to smother her but reluctantly he had recognized he needed her and more important, it wasn't her fault things had gone awfully awry. His fury had been, and still was, aimed at himself, at his own failure although he still wondered if, and how much – she had been involved. Because she had a nasty tendency to look right through him and he wouldn't be surprised to learn she had thwarted his plan one way or another. She was still busy meddling.

It wasn't the first time he returned here; like a criminal he got driven back to the crime scene. Numerous times he had wandered here, thinking, mulling over how to put things right, how to regain the control over the gone wild situation. And finding no satisfying answer. He heard a soft rumour behind his back and turned to see her descending the stairs leading to the balcony that miraculously had stayed intact. Dragon Lady. Solas made a scornful sound at the back of his throat. He knew she was very pleased with that nickname which she regarded a fancy title.

'Funny to find you here,' she said, 'shouldn't you be in the Fade? I'd had figured you'd want to keep an eye on what happens there.'

'You mean to closely watch the mess you've concocted,' Solas hissed menacing.

Flemeth threw her head back and laughed. 'Such resentment!'

The elf took a threatening step forward. 'Why did you do it? Why did you send them into that place?' He took another step. 'Are you acting on behalf of Corypheus?'

Flemeth laughed again, a low rolling sound. 'You dare to accuse me of collaborating with that dangerous madman? Quite the nerve considering what you've done!'

Solas gritted his teeth. She was right of course but that didn't mean he would let her get away with it so easily. 'And you jeopardised everything by luring them into the Nightmare's domain,' he snarled.

She leisurely rested a hand upon her hip and answered his furious look with an amused one. 'Do you really think I have that much power?'

'I wouldn't put it past you.'

A sudden cold draught whooshed through the empty space, bringing with it remains of gathered snow lying on the half ruined pinnacles. It battered his shaven head but he didn't react. He kept on holding her in his unwavering glare. She stared unperturbed back.

'You gave the orb to Corypheus. Did you really think you could gain back the world for the People by doing that? You chose the most unlikely and most unreliable intermediary by doing so. You must have known he would go further than you wanted. You were in no shape to keep him leashed. You must have realised he wasn't interested in the world but wanted to conquer the Dark City and saw the Orb only as a means to reach his goal.' She hit his sore point and she knew it. The ripple that interrupted his stoic demeanour was short and hardly discernable but she had sensed it. Harshly she went on, 'He would have destroyed this world, humans, dwarfs and the People alike. You knew that but nevertheless you took the risk.'

Solas still didn't react.

'I had no other option than to interfere. You want to talk about a mess? In that case you better consider the one you caused!'

Now he reacted but she had foreseen it and caught his hand easily. 'I made you to what you are now,' he spat, 'I can kick you down to where you came from.'

This time her laugh sounded dangerously sardonic. 'You forget I'm not the woman you turned into a goddess. That woman is long gone. That woman put her trust into me – and for good reasons too since the reason stands before me right this very moment – and the instant she expired her essence went over to me. I carry her inside me but I'm not her.' She gazed into his eyes and he got the feeling he was staring into centuries long forgotten. 'I keep a piece of her but I am still me. Don't pretend you didn't know that; I am the only one you didn't succeed in locking away.' She chortled softly and never before a chortle had sounded so full of premonition and warning. ´And never ever underestimate our combined strength.´

He wouldn´t dream of it. ´You planned it all,' he said flatly.

Now she not only laughed but merely burst into it. ´Oh my dear Fen'Harel!' she said in the mildly irritated and mocking tone a mother would use to chastise a foolish young child. 'Yes, you should be very wary of what I can do but just like you, I too have little to none influence on the caprices of Fate. Just like you I cannot beat Corypheus on my own. And I certainly can't turn back time to prevent you from your silly deed that endangered us all.' She let go of his hand and he let it fall along his thigh.

He hated when she performed the act of the sensible wise woman but, near stabbing her to death, there was nothing he could do about it. And the worst part was she was right. He really wanted to wipe that smug smile off her face.

After a short pause Flemeth continued, 'Sending the Champion of Kirkwall into the Fade was indeed my doing. It was necessary she'd overcome her fears and then teach the others how to accomplish that. Because, as you are no doubt well aware, Corypheus is building his godhood on terror and nightmares. Take that away, his most important pillar collapses and it will be much easier to beat him. However,' she let out a tortured sigh, 'it was never my intent, nor did I foresee let alone accomplish, the Inquisitor and her retinue would follow her.' A shadow clouded her expression. 'That has complicated matters. On the other hand both she and Marian Hawke are formidable women and I'm convinced they will find a safe way out.' To his astonishment she shot him smile that could almost be described as affectionate. 'Scheming and interfering can only go that far, Dread Wolf, and if you're not careful it will turn and bite you in the back, as you have learned the hard way.' She nodded at him. 'I'm sure we will meet again. I wish you well, my friend, stay safe.'

Pensively Solas stared after her. He mused she was some kind of relic from the Old Days, the only one actually of the Old Ones he still could speak to. The one who made him feel a little less alone. And although they had their differences and disagreements, many in fact, he was very fond of her. Thus it would pain him to kill her but he was afraid it was inevitable. He watched her climbing the stairs to the balcony and shortly after he heard the heavy cracking of dragon wings getting airborne.

Evelyn stood agape and she was completely at a loss for words. Her mouth opened and closed a few times but no sound would come out.

Varric, on the other hand, was quite boisterous. 'Well well well, look what the cat dragged in,' he said with such a broad smile it almost split his face in two. He looked Cullen up and down and added, 'the cat hasn't been very gentle with you, has it. It appears sooner like it tried to disembowel you to be honest.'

Cullen didn't answer. With two long strides he reached Evelyn and pulled her in a tight embrace. 'You're alive,' he croaked, 'you're really alive. I was so scared something dreadful had happened to you.'

Finally Evelyn found her voice back. 'I could say the same,' she said with a sob, 'I thought you jumped. I saw you jump! I was sure you were lying somewhere ... somewhere...' The newly found voice broke.

'I did jump,' Cullen murmured in her hair, 'but evidently I survived.' He had never felt more relieved in his whole life. Anders had told him his lover was whole and well and he had believed it, he had wanted to believe it. But only now he held her beloved body close to his and took in the living warmth of her presence he was really convinced. He thought his heart would burst.

Weakly Evelyn pummelled his chest with one fist. 'Why?! Why did you do that?! You could have died. You idiot!'

Cullen couldn't help laughing. 'I'm aware of that. But so could you have.' He screwed his eyes shut and took in her lovely scent with a large hungrily inhale of breath. After that he let out a shivering sigh. 'I thought I'd never see you again.'

Evelyn surrendered and sagged against his body. 'I suppose it's utterly selfish but I'm glad you're here.' She heaved her head and gave him a wavering smile. 'If we will perish here, at least we'll perish together.'

'That's one positive thought to cling on to,' Cullen chuckled and he kissed her tenderly.

In the meantime Hawke had decided her breakdown had lasted long enough and she had succeeded in winning back some of her right mind. She freed herself from Fenris's arms and scrambled onto her feet, still leaning on the elf's shoulder because she didn't yet trust the strength of her legs. She took a deep breath and brought about a frail smile. 'It seems not all is bad at the other side of sanity,' she mumbled.

Dorian let his eyes wander from one couple to the other. 'Two happy reunions for the price of one,' he said dryly, 'if we're not careful this dreary enterprise will turn into a romantic adventure. With an exquisite champagne picnic to boot.' He flashed a sardonic grimace. 'Frankly I don't know whether to puke or applaud.'

'Yeah,' the Iron Bull grumbled a comment, 'just add a cask of good sack-mead to that bubble wine of yours and this crappy business will get a shiny silver lining. It's a bit – alarming.' He slapped the mage on the back in an eruption of camaraderie. 'We can always form a couple, you and me, if it makes you less envious.'

Dorian raised one brow in a delicate way. 'Are you suggesting a liaison, Bull? My word, I thought you'd never ask.'

'Should I start thinking about a wedding present?' Varric informed with a mischievous twinkle in his eye, 'Tsk Dorian, what would the old man say? Canoodling with a Qunari!'

Dorian's firm near rebellious expression told all about how he would marry the Bull on the spot just to annoy his father. 'He would probably begin with soiling his trousers and after that work his way up to several bouts of hysterics. I assume the furnishings and even the premises itself would suffer hugely under his unleashed wrath. And of course he would state, roaring mind you, that this was the indisputable proof of my irrevocable insanity.' He smiled nastily. 'I'd pay a fortune to see it.'

'Ha!' Bull rumbled, 'sounds like something to behold. How about the two of us go tell him the good news?'

'What a brilliant idea!' Dorian exclaimed, 'we could bring him a box of chocolates. He detests confectionery.'

Varric frowned, somewhat confused. 'And here I was, thinking you had a good chat with your father.'

'A chat yes,' Dorian said grimly, 'no-one ever mentioned it was a good one.'

In the meantime Stroud was getting more aggravated by the minute. 'Can you stop the cuddling and all the other bullshit and get back to what's really important,' he snarled. He was still struggling with the images of Grey Wardens holding Most Holy, clearly under the powerful control of Corypheus, and in his impotent fury he thoughtlessly lashed out.

Evelyn looked sharply up but before she could take action, Varric stepped forward and laid a soothing hand on the Warden's arm. 'Easy there, Whiskers,' he said, 'the situation calls for a prudent approach, what with several people in a brittle state of mind.' He smiled captivating. 'Including you. We shouldn't encourage infighting, should we now.'

Stroud bristled but Hawke beat him in giving a response. She straightened her back. 'No,' she said, 'he's right. We cannot linger here, not in the least because there's more.'

'More?' Evelyn reacted distressed, 'what do you mean "more"? This wasn't enough anxiety already? I myself have had enough for one, eh, day.' She had untangled herself from Cullen's embrace and her undivided attention was on Kirkwall's former Champion.

Hawke pursed her lips. 'I wasn't sent here to play the Divine. That part surprised me as much as it did you, I take it.' Fenris also had got up and rested a hand on the small of her back. She was grateful for the seemingly simple gesture; without speaking a word he made clear he would support her come what may and at any cost. She drew strength from the gentle pressure of his fingertips. She swallowed her nervousness away and went on, 'It was Flemeth who whisked me away from Skyhold and dumped me here.'

'Flemeth!' Varric cried out incredulously, 'don't tell me you mean the lady with the amazing dragon trick?'

Hawke felt the pressure of Fenris's fingers intensify but he stayed quiet. 'That's exactly the one I mean,' she said. 'She stated I had to be your teacher. To teach you how to overcome your darkest fears.' She smiled apologetically while she looked up. 'I had no idea what she meant and even now I'm not quite sure but what I do know is Corypheus is trying to knock us all over by capturing us in a cage of horror. And that horror will be your own doing. He will play on your deepest regrets of shortcomings and downright failures. And the worst part is you will be convinced he is right. And believe me, it will bring you down and drive you crazy. You have to fight it. I absolutely can't fathom how Flemeth knew we would end up here together, but then again, she is a very powerful – whatever she is.'

'No need to dwell on the craziness, Hawke,' Varric said thoughtfully, 'I believe you on your word; after all I saw firsthand what it did to you.' He frowned and snorted, 'And to think I made the mistake assuming you were acting like a pent up hormone-riddled female because –' Just in time he refrained in blurting out "you were afraid it would be getting too late to become a mother" since, of course, that was quite delicate and intimate information and there were lots of unauthorised ears listening.

Marian lifted a corner of her mouth in an almost smile. 'Indeed. I hate hormones.' She became serious again immediately after. 'Don't make the fault of misjudging the force of Corypheus's manipulation.'

'Then we must be extremely cautious,' Evelyn said determined. She shook her head. 'And I thought ending up here and figuring out how to escape was the worst of our problems.'

'I'm afraid not,' Hawke said.

At that moment a rumble started, a vibrating boom that seemed to fill up all the space and left no room for other sounds, not even for the whispering ones swirling around in the privacy of one's own head. 'Ah, I see we have visitors.' And the voice Hawke knew too well to her liking began to pour out its poison.

'And there we have it,' she said with a deep sigh. 'Brace yourselves.'

Anders found Cole sitting cross-legged next to the other spirit of Compassion. She was lying motionless with her head in his lap. He was tenderly holding her hand. 'I named her Hope,' he said quietly, 'I thought the name suited her. When I was still a spiritI always tried to make people forget about their tears and pain. She tried to let them see not all is lost. That there is always some way out. She strived for offering solutions, not just forgetting.' His fingers tenderly trailed down her face. 'I'm beginning to think she was right.'

Without a word Anders sat down, he didn't want to disturb Cole in his grief because it was painfully clear his Hope had stopped to exist. Without doubt she had extinguished in some way after making use of Hawke's body. She had been fragile to start with and undoubtedly that last act had been too much. Did spirits die like humans, he wondered, or did they simply melt into the Fade?

As if he had read his thoughts, Cole answered, 'No, she didn't die like that. She will come to life again but will never be the same. I don't think she will remember me.'

Anders couldn't see his face since he was bending over the still body and it was covered by his bangs and the rim of his large hat. But he could hear his voice was full of sorrow. 'I'm sorry,' he murmured.

Now Cole looked up and the smile he gave him was so melancholic and at the same time radiated such warmth he almost staggered back. It brought a lump in his throat he only with great effort swallowed down. 'Don't be,' the strange boy said softly, 'what she did was her own wish. She served a good purpose.'

And then a voice shredded the stillness of the Fade. It sounded so malevolent they both flinched. 'The Nightmare is here,' Cole whispered, his expression tense and fearful, 'this is his domain and he is awakened. We must be very careful now. He will hurt.'

Now more than ever, thank you so much for reading!