Author's Note: credit for coming up with the word 'tamli' goes to Animorphgirl. This chapter took me a while and I'm still not entirely happy with it, but I hope you all enjoy anyway. Maybe at some stage I will go back and edit it if I think I can do a better job!

Carla yawned sleepily and rolled over in bed, the sounds of Alniss getting ready for work cutting into her dream, even though the Yeerk was clearly trying to be quiet. It didn't take long for Carla's sleepiness to evaporate, in spite of the late shift she'd had at work last night. The lateness of the hour hadn't stopped Alniss walking to the bus stop with Menhal to pick her up. Carla normally felt guilty about those journeys, especially when it was a late shift and Alniss was at the café next morning, but last night it had been reassuring. Carla hadn't been sure what might have changed between them after the argument between Alniss and Kalran, and it had been comforting that Alniss hadn't changed in that at least.

Feeling wide awake, Carla cracked her eyes open. Alniss was brushing her long hair, bringing it up into a ponytail.

"Hi," Carla said, slightly hesitant.

Alniss looked surprised as she turned towards her. "I'm sorry if I woke you up."

"It's okay. I'm not tired." Carla pushed herself to a half-sitting position, resting the side of her head in one hand. She watched Alniss carefully as she finished tying up her ponytail and moved over to the dresser to pick up some earrings. Carla wanted to say something about the day before: after the conversation with Kalran she'd had little time to talk about anything before going to work, but she wasn't sure how to bring the subject up.

"Are you alright?" Alniss, ever-perceptive, turned to look at her.

Carla looked away, towards the window. Bright sun was peeping around the edge of the yellow blind: it looked like another hot day.

"Carla?"

She heard Alniss step softly across the room, coming into her line of sight as she sat down on her own bed, nearer the window.

"Yes," Carla said slowly. "I just- about yesterday-"

"I don't blame you," Alniss interrupted quickly, her tone clearly implying who she did blame.

Carla shifted uncomfortably. Kalran and Alniss had never got along particularly well, but she'd also never really seen them argue before… even when Sara'd been there it had been more an argument between Sara and Alniss, Kalran only stepping in to defend her host. She couldn't understand what had made the two of them so hostile to each other… well, Alniss so hostile towards Kalran, at any rate.

"It wasn't Kalran's fault," Carla said quietly, averting her eyes from Alniss'. "She wouldn't want to put me in danger any more than you would."

"Well, I don't think she put you in danger deliberately," Alniss conceded, though to Carla's surprise her tone was a little hurt. "But…" Alniss hesitated, her voice dropping to a whisper. "You can't imagine she'd care as much as I do?"

Carla snapped her eyes back to the Yeerk's, surprised. "Well… no, I suppose not. But she still wouldn't want me to get hurt. She wouldn't risk it."

"She's also a fool," Alniss snapped, her face contorting with anger. "A sympathiser who can't see that any host, any human, might have less than noble motives. But to talk you into being involved, as well…"

"She didn't talk me into it, Alniss. I wanted to do it, I wanted to help."

The bed creaked as Alniss shifted her position, slumping down a little as she let out a sigh. "Why? It's hopeless, Carla, there's nothing to be gained from it."

"There might be. Oglud's lovely, you'll like them. They deserve more than they've got."

Alniss sneered. "Really? They're part of the reason we're in this mess in the first place."

That stung Carla far more than she would have expected, the pain mixed with surprise at both Alniss and herself. She'd only met Oglud once… why would she be so bothered about someone insulting her?

"You get on fine with Kalran," Carla argued, unable to keep a small amount of anger from creeping into her voice. "And you were the one who told me… who helped me understand… what happened in the war wasn't the peace movement's fault."

The Yeerk looked unimpressed. "Not entirely their fault, no, and they never planned for there to be such massive loss of life. But they didn't exactly help, did they? Some of them knew who the Animorphs were… if they'd only told the rest of us…"

Carla shifted uncomfortably, unsure how she felt about that. If that had happened… perhaps Silrin might still be alive, but everyone on Earth who wasn't a voluntary host would be enslaved, which was hardly a comfortable thought. "Oglud might not have known who they were," she said, unable to voice her deeper doubts, struggling to do so even inside her own mind. "Or Kalran," she added, almost as an afterthought.

There was a long silence as Alniss studied her, her head leaning slightly to one side as she watched Carla's face. Uncomfortable, Carla glanced away, looking down at the bedspread with its bright blue cover.

"Exactly how much have you spoken to Oglud?"

Carla looked back up, surprised by the tightness in Alniss' tone. "Not much. Just once, for about fifteen minutes. Why?"

"And that's the truth, is it? You're not lying to me again?"

Carla's eyes widened with shock and hurt. "Alniss…"

"Is that the truth, Carla?" Alniss repeated more insistently, though there was an uncertainty in her eyes that belied her harsh tone.

"Yes," Carla said softly, some of her anger and hurt evaporating at the expression on Alniss' face. "I'm sorry, about before. I should have told you the truth, after everything you've done for me."

Alniss seemed mollified by this, and Carla let her tightened shoulders relax the tiniest bit. They sat in silence for a few moments, Carla watching Alniss turn over one of the earrings she'd not yet put on in her hand, watching the light move across its surface. As she watched her, she felt her guilt grow: Alniss clearly cared about her, was afraid for her… why had she lied to her, of all people? Carla couldn't quite make sense of it, but something in her was nervous about Alniss knowing how close she already felt to Oglud. It hadn't been fair to lie, though, not when Alniss cared about her so much.

"It's alright," Alniss said eventually. "I'm sorry if I've been… irritable… this morning. Yesterday was a lot for me to take in."

"I know. I didn't mean to frighten you, Alniss. I just wanted to… to have the chance to connect to a Yeerk again, that's all."

Alniss frowned again, apparently irritated by that. "I'm a Yeerk."

Hesitating, Carla fiddled with the edge of the duvet, looking down at her hands. To point out that Alniss wasn't, in fact, a Yeerk anymore would only inflame her further, but it wouldn't be right just to accept that statement, either. "Yes," she murmured eventually. "And you've done… do…. a lot for me. But you know what I mean… you… we can't…"

There was a long silence. Concerned, Carla chanced a glance at Alniss, which did not reassure her in the slightest. The Yeerk looked deeply hurt, her eyes gleaming with unshed tears.

"Alniss, are you okay?"

The Yeerk nodded, though her miserable expression contradicted it. "I just… I wish I could help you in the way you need me to, tamli."

Carla frowned slightly. It hadn't escaped her notice that Alniss had used the same word yesterday, nor its significance. She could still remember the first time Silrin had used it, soothing her during a particularly bad panic attack when she'd been infested nearly six months. Silrin had told her that it was an endearment for one's host that indicated a strong bond. Soon afterwards, her Yeerk had begged her never to reveal to anyone that she'd used it. Tamli, Silrin had explained, was a taboo word in the Empire because it had connotations of host sympathy. Her Yeerk had sounded so frightened that Carla had instantly agreed never to say a word to anyone, a promise she had kept up until now.

"I know what that word means," Carla murmured. "Silrin used to call me that."

Alniss smiled slightly. "I don't doubt it." Seeing Carla's expression, her smile faded. "Is it too much?"

Hesitatingly, Carla looked at her. "I.. it did surprise me a little to hear it."

Alniss was quiet for a few moments. "I'm sorry," she said eventually.

"No, no, don't be. I don't mind you saying it." The second sentence wasn't entirely true: it felt very strange for anyone but Silrin to refer to her in that way, but Alniss was upset enough without Carla making things any worse.

"You're sure?" Alniss said doubtfully, frowning at her as though she could read Carla's uncertainty.

"Yes."

Alniss glanced away again. "Maybe you should ask Oglud if they mind me calling you that." The bitterness in her tone was obvious to Carla.

"Are you… jealous?" Carla asked hesitantly.

"Of course not," Alniss snapped back instantly, the response too quick for Carla's liking, as though the Yeerk had been expecting the question. "Why would I be jealous of a Yeerk who's trapped in the Pool when I have my own eyes and ears and body, when I can move in the world as I choose?"

"Sorry," Carla said quickly. "Of course not." Privately, though, she reflected that Alniss actually had quite a lot to be jealous of: while Oglud's situation was difficult, both her mates were still alive, Oglud could interact with many of her siblings in the way a Yeerk should, and there might one day be a chance for her to take a host again, something that was forever beyond Alniss' reach. And if that host was her… well, it was clear Alniss was at least uncomfortable with Oglud and Carla's relationship.

"I don't want you to put too much hope into this, that's all," Alniss added more gently, perhaps realising how much she'd shown of her true feelings. "It will never happen, you do realise that, don't you?"

Carla nodded. "I know. We'll still go and see them at the Pool, though, won't we?" Carla hoped Alniss wouldn't go back on that promise, nor on her desire to accompany Carla. She still hoped that once Alniss saw what conditions were like there, she might relent and let Carla do something to help.

Alniss nodded. "Of course. I've already arranged everything with Kalran, we're going next week."

"You did that fast."

"I didn't want you to think I might not let you go. I can see how important it is to you."

Carla looked across at her again and smiled. She'd been feeling an increased sense of unease as their debate had continued, worrying that Alniss might start to dislike her, so the reminder that Alniss still cared about her was very welcome. "I don't want to upset you, either," she said cautiously. "You'll always be important to me, you know that?"

The Yeerk nodded in reply, smiling back at her. "Likewise." She lifted the hand that was resting on the bed to glance at her watch. "I'm sorry, I really should be going to work… will you be…"

"I'll be fine," Carla interrupted, trying to make her voice as reassuring as possible. "You really shouldn't worry so much."