Showering was odd, since the bandages had come off.
Not that it wasn't a strange experience before, when they had still been on, clinging to her body like a second skin, not budging an inch under the water, no matter how long she stayed under the hot spray. But now that they were off, it didn't feel like she was washing her own body anymore. Her hands trailed over the raised crepe texture of her right arm; livid pink and white splashes. The burnt skin stretched and puckered, fanned out like a ropey web from where it curved around her wrist and hand, up until it encased her shoulder, creeping red vines out over her collar and chest, and down towards her breast. Then there were the other marks; red divots that dotted her body and pale lines cross-hatched through them, all laid out in a uniform, grid-like structure. Her hair was a soft fuzz now growing back in silvery grey, as if twenty years had been sucked out of her body by a vampire. The large welts and raised marks on the right side of her face, scattered out amongst the freckles that use to live there, curled round and cupped her skull like a spray of meteors across the sky.
If it weren't for the pale hazel eyes looking back out at her from the mirror, Emily could almost be convinced that her body had been swapped. That they'd downloaded her consciousness out of her soft and comfortable and imperfect old body, and uploaded it into this new pile of wasted limbs and scars. It was horrifying - she should be horrified by it. But all Emily could think, when she ran the washing cream over her body, watched as it caught and gathered in all the new dips and crevices in her skin - was that this was real. Like her grandmother's pendant around her neck, the cracked opal resting neatly in the shallow welt of skin it'd welded itself into; she was something that had been altered by this new place. It wasn't imagined - not when she could trace those changes with her fingertips. It was devastating and comforting, in a way she couldn't put into words. She'd never felt more present in her body - or more of a stranger to it.
"Would you want a towel?" a staticky voice asked from behind her, interrupting her thoughts.
"Jesus Fucking Christ - get out of the bathroom!" Emily shouted, whipping around to see the robot hovering just outside the showers glass enclosure, a folded towel held in it's top two arms. Blue eyes whirled in its big, stupid metal face. "What the fuck did I tell you? Stop following me around!"
"Master Kenobi was worried about your length of time in the shower," it replied, dropping the towel before backing away towards the door.
"Get. Out." Emily spat, looking around for something she could smack it with. Possibly sensing its impending doom, the robot pivoted, quickly sputtering out into the changing room. Emily grabbed the towel from the ground, wrapping it around herself as she followed the thing out.
"Did you send that robot into my bathroom?" she demanded, bursting into the main bedroom. Ben looked up from one of Emily's drawings, then his eyes went wide as he did a full one-eighty, and directed his gaze to the ceiling, like he was observing the Sistine Chapel and not just flat grey panelling. Emily had a quick glance down to confirmed that, while short, the towel covered all the essentials. For someone who had lived in a cell with her for weeks while she wore nothing but glorified pants and a bra, Emily was learning that Ben was a surprisingly prudish man.
"No," he said, clearing his throat. "I asked it if you were well."
"I would be better if I didn't always have a robot behind me," she replied, glaring at the thing as it bobbed near the doorway, giving her it's best innocent look. "Watching me. While I washed."
"I am sure Anakin will be able to correct it," Ben said.
Emily threw a final warning glare towards the robot and walked back into the dressing room. Considering that she had only been given a handful of soft cream t-shirts, both long-sleeved and short, as well as a couple of pairs of leggings, dark caramel coloured and textured like brushed velvet; a whole room full of wardrobes and drawers seemed a little excessive to Emily. She wriggled her damp skin into the top and bottoms, toeing on a pair of comfy flat slip-ons that moulded to her feet and felt like suede. When she came out, Ben still had his back to her, neck craned towards the ceiling.
"You can look now," she said, tossing her towel at the robot, who caught it smack in the face. It beeped and whirled as it tried to pry the wet material off its head. Ben cautiously turned back to her, as Emily grabbed another towel from the bathroom and started to dry her face and head.
"I think I prefer the other robots," she said, plopping down onto the bed. Emily had been given a large jar of gel, which she had been instructed to rub into her burn marks. Picking it up off the nightstand, she scooped up a handful of the translucent purple gel before rubbing it up her arm and under her clothing. She had no idea what it would do, but it smelled very faintly of lavender and plastic wrap, and it felt cool and tingly on her skin. "Ani should have gotten me one of the real looking ones, not one of the metal ones."
"Real looking ones?" Ben asked, dropping his eyes to her drawings again when Emily pushed a hand up under her shirt to rub the gel on her chest.
"Yeah, like Pea or Nema," she replied. Ani had practically bounded into her room one day, the robot trailing behind him. He'd happily declared that it was called MEL, and was now 'hers' and that he would make it even better, and wasn't it amazing? Emily didn't have the heart to tell him that the thing fucking terrified her, especially as it followed her everywhere now, bringing her bowls of paste or cleaning up after her. It also translated when people talked 'Basic'. It was useful, no doubt, but Emily would have been happier with one of the more animal or Star-Trekie looking robots, like her cosplayer buddies, that she only saw every now and then for check-ups. "They're not half as annoying or invasive as this thing."
Ben looked back up, a frown crinkling his brow, as Emily smoothed some of the gel along her neck, up to her face and across her skull. He walked towards her, coming to stand a few paces from where she was sat, arms crossed as he looked down at her. Emily stared back at him; eyebrows raised.
"Pea is the same as you," Ben said, "and she is the same as me."
Emily looked up at his frowning face, and wondered if he maybe had an eyesight issue. Pea looked exactly nothing like them. "No, she isn't," Emily replied, trying not to sound like she was pointing out the obvious.
Ben's eyes narrowed, and he ran a hand through his beard as he said, "she does not look the same, but she is the same, do you understand? Pea is not a robot."
"I know she's not like that thing-" Emily agreed, pointing a thumb towards the bathroom where the robot had disappeared with the wet towels, "-she's got a kind of skin instead. It's much better."
"I like her," she added, when Ben's frown seemed to drop another inch. After a few seconds of silent staring, he rubbed a hand over his forehead, running it back through his auburn hair with a sigh. He muttered something under his breath in Basic.
"Master Kenobi said that this explains much," MEL translated, bobbing back into the room. It floated about, gathering together papers and trying to make the bed while Emily was still sat on it, Ben looking at her like she was a Sudoku he couldn't work out, and Emily staring right back at him, waiting for him to explain all the frowning.
"We will be going to another room this morning," he finally said, before walking towards the door. He stopped as it opened in front of him, and turned back to address her. "I need to show you something."
"My granny always warned me about strange men trying to lure me into rooms alone," Emily replied, sliding off the bed and onto her feet. "Especially when they say they want to show you something."
Ben walked out into the hallway, not waiting for her to follow. Emily picked up her pace, jogging a little until she fell into step beside him. "I'm just warning you," she teased, "cause my granny also told me that if they point it where it's not wanted, then you just rip that sucker clean off."
"You," Ben said, shooting her a look out of the corner of his eye, "are not making any sense."
"Yeah, you keep telling yourself that buddy," Emily replied. Ben huffed a little, but kept walking. Eventually he led them to a rounded section of the wall. He pressed a yellow button, the curved panelling sliding back, revealing a circular, well-lit interior.
"See? This is exactly what my granny warned me about!" she said, pointing to the enclosed room. Ben nudged her in first, with a hand between her shoulder blades, and then followed, the doors whooshing back to seal them in. He hit another button, and Emily felt the floor jolt underneath her.
"Where are we going?" Emily said, watching green lights shimmer down strips in the walls.
"You will see when we get there."
"I've not even had my bowl of morning paste yet. And you know what they say - breakfast paste is the most important meal of the day."
"Oh, I am sure you will survive," Ben replied, a small smile tugging at his mouth.
"Will I see Ani today?" Emily asked. It wasn't always guaranteed that she'd see both of them. Most days, they'd come and go, while she drew pictures to be scanned by MEL and rendered into three-dimensional holograms, or spent her time trying to help translate more of her English into their Basic. Other days, she'd spend the entire time with one of them, the other one off doing whatever it was they did in this place. From what Emily could tell, they mainly just walked from one end of the massive hallways to the other and back.
"After lunch I think you may see him," Ben said. Then the elevator stopped, the doors swishing open. "We are here."
Here was just another bunch of corridors, from what Emily could see when she stepped out. The walls were a pale sage, the floors smooth copper with strips of yellow and green flowing through it. Everything was softly lit, the air a little warmer than usual. Emily could swear that a comforting hum, like a vibration, was coming up through the floor.
"I've not been here before," she said, looking around as she followed Ben down the corridor. He stopped in front of a recessed door, before turning to her, his face moulded back to a serious expression as he folded his long-sleeved arms over his chest.
"This is a very…important place," he said, struggling for a moment to find the right words. "You must be quiet here, and you must do as I ask you."
"Why?" Emily asked, a trill of apprehension running down her spine.
"You will see," he repeated. "Will you do as I ask?" Emily nodded. She wasn't sure she wanted to see what was behind the door now, but she had chosen to put her trust in Ben and Ani. Here's hoping that it wouldn't backfire - again.
Ben waved his hand, and the doors slid back, revealing a warm, dimly lit room beyond. Emily followed Ben into the hushed interior, the same sage green colour scheme following them in from the hall. The floors underfoot were carpeted, and lining the perimeter of the room, was a row of small beige pods, each one raised off the ground and no more than a meter long. In the centre, a circular pool of water bubbled quietly, long fronds like seaweed swirling up to cover its surface. The air was close and still, and had a slightly aquatic smell, overlaid with something sweet and familiar. Robots hovered around the room's edges; these ones different from MEL, with soft looking coverings over their metal hands. They didn't react to Ben and Emily's presence, they just went from pod to pod, their lights a dim golden glow, making low humming noises from deep within their casing.
Ben moved towards one of the little pods, Emily trailing in his wake. He stopped, moving aside to let her stand next to him. Inside the pod, and covered over by a woven beige blanket, was a sleeping child. They couldn't have been more than eighteen months, from what Emily could tell, and they were spread out, fast asleep on their belly, dark curled hair spilling on to their little round tanned cheeks and caught in the long sweep of their eyelashes.
"It's a baby," Emily found herself rather dumbly stating, looking up at Ben. He had reached out a long finger, stroking it ever so softly over the back of the chubby little hand, clutched tight around its blanket. He slowly pulled his gaze back to hers, his eyes warm and almost green in the muted light, a peaceful smile on his face.
"This is one of the rooms of our children," he said, pulling his hand back and motioning to the rest of the pods. Emily stepped away, quietly walking past each one, pausing to glimpse inside. Some of the pods had normal babies - or ones that looked human enough, though sometimes their skin would be blue or green, or horns stuck out where hair would normally be. Others looked totally different, with tiny tails jutting from their stripped heads, or stubby snouts and tusks. One was completely covered in a thick coat of brown hair; its face almost puppy like as it slept on its back.
Emily turned around, wanting to ask Ben just what the ever-loving fuck this all was, but he was kneeling by the pool at the room's centre, looking down into the swirling water. Emily came up on his left and he motioned for her to kneel down beside him. The carpet was soft, cushioning her bony legs as she settled on her shins, leaning over to peer into the rippling surface. There, past the bubbles and swaying fronds, were little bodies, wrapped up in the seaweed and bobbing in the current. Emily's hand shot out automatically, ready to pull them out, but Ben clamped a hand over her wrist, pulling her back.
"They are sleeping," he whispered, holding her hand in both of his.
Emily looked back down, unable to calm the thudding in her chest. She could make out a small face, so human like, but with little tentacles stretching out from the top of its head, each tangled and wrapped around the swaying leaves. She watched as its eyelids twitched, and then slits at the top of the head shuddered, opening and closing like gills on a fish. Emily sat back, staring at where her hand disappeared into Ben's grasp. Her head felt like it was filled with static.
"Do you understand?" he asked, voice a low murmur as he squeezed down on her hand. Behind them, something let out a gurgling squeal.
They both turned at the same time, looking to see a pair of large, dark eyes flanked by a wide set of green ears, staring at them from over the edge of its pod. Ben chuckled, then drew himself up, helping Emily to her feet beside him. They walked over to the pod, those big eyes watching their every move, huffs and impatient snuffles coming out of its tiny little button nose.
"Hello," Ben said in Basic, his eyes crinkling as he smiled down at it. It bounced slightly, three clawed fingers dug into the edge of the pod, ears wiggling as it turned its attention from Ben to Emily. The eyes somehow, impossibly, got even bigger, the long ears flattening out. It was exactly like an even tinier version of the build-a-bear who'd whacked her on the head, weeks ago now. Except this thing was so friggin cute, you'd actually want to pay money to buy it from a shop, unlike that wrinkled gremlin. A clawed hand stretched out, face twitching as it squealed. Emily wasn't sure what it was looking at, until she felt a sharp tug around her neck, her pendant dropping down against her chest.
"No," Ben said softly, his big hand gently pressing down on the smaller one. A burbling cry rang out in protest. "He wants your necklace."
"Okay," Emily said, her mouth feeling strangely numb. She leaned forwards, the hand reaching out again, clamping down hard on the glittering stone. Another squeal, this one obviously in delight, as it shook and twisted the gemstone in its fist, and then unceremoniously jammed it into its mouth. Ben reached forward again, but Emily already had her arms out, scooping up the surprisingly solid little bundle. It was amazing, just how normal it felt to cradle it in her arms. The long ears brushed against her neck, wiggling as it gummed away.
"You know," Emily heard herself say, voice low and hoarse sounding in her own ears. "That pendant has been chewed on by every baby born in my family."
Dark eyes stared up at her, as Emily ran a finger along the pink tinge of its rounded cheek, a line of drool soaking into her shirt. Emily could see the web of capillaries, tinting the ears a blushed peach, where they ran through the translucent skin. She stroked her hand along the pale green edge, silky smooth and warm under her fingers, until she reached the pointed tip. The little thing cooed, its eyes falling shut, and Emily couldn't resist trailing her hand along it again. This close, she could feel the rise and fall of its chest against her; could smell the faint earthy tang, like an autumn forest after rain, that rose from the fuzz of downy hair on its crinkled head.
"You see?" Ben said, and Emily reluctantly pulled her gaze up to meet his. He looked so happy; his face practically glowed. He was standing very close to her, and Emily could see that his hand was up, his fingers stroking over one of the tiny clawed feet.
"Yeah, I see," Emily said, and couldn't resist pressing her lips down to brush against the domed head. It blew a muffled raspberry in response. "I'm really not in Kansas anymore."