"Damn it!" Elliot said in frustration as he slammed his locker shut. Munch and Fin gave him a concerned look. They knew about the pregnancy and the relationship, but neither dared to ask. "I'm sorry guys. It's just-" Stabler said walking away from the situation. It had been 3 weeks since Olivia's ectopic pregnancy. She was still at home recovering, but Elliot had returned to work a few days after. Staying in the apartment was only making it worse. He made his way through the squad room towards the elevators. The roof had become his getaway; his only place to be alone with his thoughts.

"Hold the elevator!" Cragen called as the doors started to close. El stook his arm between the metal doors, causing them to jolt back open. "Thank you," Don said as he stepped on. The two men stood next to each other watching the hallway disappear as the doors closed again. "Going to the roof again?" Cragen asked.

"Huh? Yeah," Elliot replied, hardly paying attention enough to hear what the captain had asked. There was a long pause.

"So, how's Liv doing?"

"As good as you would expect. The stitches were able to come out a week ago. She's just getting her strength back." Another long pause.

"How are you doing Elliot?"

"I'm good. I'm good." Stabler glanced up at the levels as they continued their assent. Could this elevator go any slower?

"Are you sure? Because that locker took the brunt of your frustration back there" Cragen prodded. He knew the detective was in fact not good, but he had to hear it from him. Elliot didn't respond. "Really Elliot. How are you?" El sighed. The elevator dinged and the two gentlemen exited, making their way outside. They leaned on the railing overlooking the bustle beneath them.

"I'm hanging in there," Stabler finally responded. Cragen gave him a sideways look.

"I find it hard to believe that you are doing okay after the loss of a child," the captain chided. He let his words hang in the air before continuing. "When was the last time you two talked to each other?"

"I don't know what you mean Cap."

"When was the last time the two of you sat down and talked about what happened?" Stabler paused to think about the question, the sound of taxi cabs and construction filling the silence.

"I don't know," El replied shrugging. "She hasn't been one for conversation. I leave before she's up, and she's exhausted when I get home." Stabler paused. Don sighed. His two best detectives were barely hanging on.

"Go home Elliot," Cragen instructed. Elliot turned to face him.

"Captain, I'm fine. I can-"

"Go home Elliot. That's an order." Their eyes met as each held the other's stare, neither breaking the silence. "She needs you, Elliot. And you need her. Go talk to her, and don't come back until you do." The two men continued to stare at each other, defiance trying its best to take a hold of Stabler. Eventually Elliot turned and headed back down the way they had come without another word.

Elliot stepped off of the elevator onto the floor the apartment was on. He slowly approached the blue door at the end of the hallway. Before he put his keys into the lock he paused, leaning with his forehead against the door, his mind flashing back to that night he had to tell Liv that the baby was gone. How he held her in his arms as she sobbed. Eventually he got the courage to unlock the door. As he entered the apartment, he could hear the shower running in the other room.

"It's just me!" he hollered as not to get himself shot. He tossed his keys on the kitchen bar, setting his gun next to them. He made his way over the couch, taking a seat and staring blankly at the wall before him. The shower soon turned off, and Olivia made her way out to the common area. She had on one of Elliot's T-shirts and some sweatpants; her go-to outfit the past 3 weeks.

"Is everything ok?" she asked taking a seat next to him and pulling her legs up to her chest and facing him.

"Yeah, everything's fine," he replied, leaving out that he had been ordered to come home. An awkward silence fell over the room as he continued to stare at the wall; Liv held her gaze with the empty couch cushion between them. Tears formed in the corners of Elliot's eyes. Who was he kidding? He was anything but ok. His wife divorced him; his children didn't want anything to do with him; the one child who didn't hate him was now gone; and his best friend would hardly say two words to him. He turned to look at Olivia, his vision fogging, his mouth a thin line trying to keep it together.

"Oh El," Olivia exclaimed when he looked at her. She had never seen him so broken. She could count on one hand the number of times she had seen him cry. She reached over and placed her hand on his forearm, sliding to fill the seat next to him. She wrapped her arms around his, leaning her head on his tense shoulder. Elliot sniffed, tears rolling down his cheeks, dripping onto their intertwined arms.

"You know," he spoke softly. "I'm not ok..." He paused. "My wife left me... My kids don't talk to me... And then..." he trailed off as his voice cracked. "Then there's you and these past 3 weeks." He took another long pause. "I can't do this Liv." She looked up at him with wide eyes.

"What are you saying Elliot?" she probed.

"I can't keep acting like everything is ok." He breathed in shakily. "You mean the world to me Liv... I'm afraid of losing you too..." Elliot started to sob. Olivia's heart broke into two. She reached up and placed a hand on his wet cheek, stroking it as she turned his head to face her. She placed her forehead against his.

"You're not going to lose me, Elliot. It will always be you and I," she said softly. "It will always be you and I."