Chapter Six
Maria saw Heinrich several times over the next couple of weeks. They would meet for coffee and once or twice shared a lunch, always out in the open. Maria was careful to never be seen with him in any confined space. She was too uncomfortable, and she didn't want to give Heinrich the wrong idea. She was not interested in anything more formal than friendship, though even in her inexperience she could tell that he was.
That's why it didn't surprise Maria when after seeing Heinrich for a little more than a month, he brought up seeing her in a more intimate setting.
Maria's first instinct was to say no up front, however, the more she tried to more Heinrich misinterpreted her intentions. Finally, she found herself putting the ball in the Captain's court of all places. "I really am flattered, Herr Mueller," Maria replied. "However, I am under the employ and the protection of Captain von Trapp, I'm afraid I really couldn't…"
Heinrich cut her off for the third time that day, rushing his own agenda. "Oh, oh, of course. Of course!" he said quickly. "I'll certainly speak to the Captain about it, nothing to fear. I'll see him about it tomorrow."
Maria was almost relieved. There was simply no way the Captain was going to give his permission for her to be courted. He relied on her too much for the children's happiness to do that. Heinrich would go to see the Captain, he would put a stop to his advances, and that would be that.
Still, Maria found herself nervous the entire evening. She didn't know if she should warn the Captain that this was coming or just let things unfold as they would. As luck would have it though, Liesl was able to read Maria's nervousness. "Fraulein Maria," Liesl said softly. "Are you okay? You seem like you're really on edge."
"Oh, Liesl," Maria sighed. "I think I made a serious mistake. One that could get me in an immense amount of trouble with your father. He'll likely let me go after this."
Liesl laughed, "Father would never let you go. He…He thinks you're special. I can't imagine anything you'd have done that would make him that angry."
"Oh…" Maria sighed. They heard the sound of a car door outside the villa and she stiffened.
Liesl moved toward the window Maria was looking out of and saw Heinrich coming to the door. "Herr Mueller is paying Father a call unannounced?"
"Well, not exactly," Maria replied. "He's here to ask about me, actually. We've met a few times in the square and now he wants to court me. I told him he'd have to see the Captain about it as I'm under his protection and well that didn't scare him off so I didn't have to say no. I'm not sure he'd take no for an answer anyway."
"Well, if father says no he'll have to," Liesl replied. "And he's going to say no, Father doesn't like to share."
Liesl left Maria with that thought. Share? The Captain wouldn't be sharing her. He had no feelings for her on that scale, that was painfully obvious, or he'd have spoken up by now. If he actually said yes to this ridiculous notion though, she would know once and for all her dream of one day being more than the governess was just that.
The Captain was in the study when Heinrich rang the bell. Franz admitted him to the grand hall then went to announce him. 'Sir," Franz spoke in his usually cool, aloof manner. "Heinrich Mueller to see you, unannounced."
This got the Captain's curiosity peaked, "Show him into the salon and I'll be with him in a moment. Offer him some refreshment."
Franz obeyed and the Captain got up and straightened his tie. He put his jacket back on then headed to meet Heinrich. "Heinrich hello," the Captain greeted. 'To what do we owe this unexpected pleasure."
Heinrich took a deep breath. "Oh my goodness, I didn't think it would be this intimidating."
The Captain raised an eyebrow at him. "Intimidating? Well that's hardly a flattering way to start a conversation with anyone. Sit down, please. You are making me nervous standing by the door that way."
"Honestly," Heinrich admitted. "I'm planning an escape route. My father always said you were a fair man, but I suppose any man would be intimidated by someone of your stature and position when coming to request your permission to pay formal court to your daughter…"
The Captain's head snapped up quickly. "My daughter! Absolutely not! My daughter is entirely too young…"
"I'm sorry, Captain," Heinrich gasped. "I misspoke about that. It's just she's so young. Maria, I mean. When she said that I should ask your permission I…"
"Wait," the Captain said soflty. "You're here to ask my permission to court Fraulein Maria?"
That was even more shocking to the Captain than Heinrich potentially asking about Liesl. Never in his wildest dreams did he think that anyone would approach him about such a thing. Firstly, because Maria was a grown woman and secondly, he always assumed some day they would get around to talking out their own arrangements.
The idea Maria was considering Heinrich's suit enough to send him to ask the Captain though spoke volumes.
"Yes," Heinrich replied. "I am. You see we have spent a little time together since the party and it is getting to the point where I feel formally courting is not only necessary but desirable. Maria felt that it was only proper for me to ask your permission to pay formal court to her as she is under your protection."
"I see," the Captain sighed, clearly deeply in thought. More than anything else he wanted Maria to be happy. He cared so deeply for her, that her happiness was paramount over his own. If Maria wanted this ,then who was he to stand in the way. "And you're asking?" the Captain pressed.
"Yes, Sir," Heinrich replied. "I'm asking. It would be my great pleasure to court Fraulein Maria with your permission, of course."
The Captain turned his back to Heinrich for a moment. He sucked in a deep breath. He had a sick feeling inside. The kind of feeling he would get whenever he made a choice for someone that he felt was "for their own good". Heinrich would be a better match for Maria. He was closer to her age and had more vim and vigor for life than the Captain had at his age of 45. The Captain wanted her happy though, that was what he had to consider. Even if it hurt.
"All right," the Captain replied. "If you wish to ask her formally, you may do so when next you meet. Fraulein Maria is a valued family member and I wish her happiness above all else. If she wishes to accept your suit, then I will not deny her that ability."
Heinrich smiled ear to ear. "Thank you so much, Captain. I have asked Maria to join me on Sunday to discuss this. I am so glad you were receptive. I wasn't sure."
Neither am I…the Captain thought wryly, though he didn't dare say that out loud.
It was killing Maria not to know the Captain's answer. She was certain he would bring up the visit at dinnertime, but he didn't. He didn't even steer the conversation in that direction. In fact, he didn't even mention Heinrich being there. Perhaps the Captain didn't want to bring up adult matters with the children, and he would mention it when they had their meeting that night.
Instead of the kind and genuine man the Captain had been lately, he was cool and aloof that night. Maria wanted to press him about Heinrich, but every time she tried she choked on the words. Finally, the Captain put her out of her misery.
"It seems that you will be requiring some more time off, Fraulein," the Captain began. "You are young and I'm sure it isn't your goal in life to be in service to my family forever since you reconsidered a religious vocation."
"More time off, Captain?" Maria asked. "If I not mistaking, I don't really have a particular time off. I'm here for whatever the children need whenever they need it."
"Except when you're meeting Heinrich Mueller in town," the Captain replied harshly. "And not telling me that you were doing that. I am your protector, Maria. You are a single woman, I took you into my home as governess to the children, you have become so important to us, I can't protect you or help you if I don't know what's going on. I was blindsided today!"
Maria looked down at hands, "Captain, I…I'm sorry. I didn't know what to do. Herr Mueller is a very nice man, and it felt good for…It was nice to be liked in that way, but I…"
The Captain studied Maria's face. She wore her heart on her sleeve usually, but right now she was unreadable. "But?"
"But I do not share his feelings," Maria confessed. "I didn't know what to do, I…I knew that you would never approve of me being courted as long as I was governess here, and I put you on the spot I am so sorry, I didn't know what to do."
The Captain sighed, "Fraulein, I'm your…We are a lot of things to each other I believe. The only thing I truly want for you is happiness. That's all. I was under the impression from Heinrich this was mutual, I gave my consent, Fraulein. It took an incredible amount of brass for him to come in here like that, I'll grant you."
Maria sighed, "It did. I suppose this is my fault. If I just told him the truth…"
"You've never had a hard time speaking your mind before, Fraulein," the Captain said with a small smile. "Why this time?"
Maria sighed, "I wanted to return his feelings. I truly did, but I just can't. I can't lie to him or to myself and pretend my heart feels something it doesn't. I'll tell him when I meet him next time that I don't wish for him to court me."
"If that is your wish, Fraulein, then let it be," the Captain replied. "You deserve happiness, we all do, but after what you've done for us, that's all I wish for you. If it is marriage and family you desire…"
Maria held her breath, was he about to tell her that she could have that with him?
The Captain didn't continue though. He let the words simply hang in the air.
After a moment of silence Maria sighed, "If that is all Captain it seems that I have a busy day tomorrow, so I'll just retire for the night."
The Captain wasn't paying attention anymore. He was inside his own head now thinking of what he should say but couldn't. How was it possible to love someone so much that you would let them go if it meant their happiness? Even if that meant your own eternal misery?
Maria couldn't sleep that night. She had counted on the Captain's autocratic nature to stem the idea of courtship between her and Heinrich, that he would be determine that no governess of his children would ever be courted. Why did he have to pick now to be gracious? When Maria did mange to doze off her dreams were plagued by memories. There were hands on her, hands all over her, holding her down, hurting her, scaring her…It was because of those hands that she couldn't bare a man's touch. She was far too broken for things to work out with Heinrich or with any man. It was so hard for her to trust anyone, she was giving that trust to the children, to Herr Detweiler, but the Captain…he was sometimes too unpredictable to be safe.
When Maria came to breakfast that morning though she didn't betray the fact she was tired. She was as smiley and giddy as always discussing the day's activities with the children. "We can do this after lunch, children," Maria replied. "I have something to do this morning, but I'll be all yours after. Herr Detweiler, would you be so kind as the mind the children today until I return?"
"Of course, Fraulein" Max replied. "I have some tips for the puppet theater I've been thinking of that we can try out. Take as much time as you need to Fraulein. You work very hard."
"Yes," the Captain agreed. "You do, Fraulein. If you need the entire day, don't hesitate to take some time for yourself."
There were subtle protests from the children, but a stern look from the Captain quieted them. "Children, it is very selfish of all of us to expect Fraulein Maria to be with us all the time. She has the need and the right to some time of her own. Now enough."
That was that. No one said another word about it.