Chapter 27: Boy Problems
Disclaimer: YOU CAN'T PROVE THAT I DON'T OWN ONE PIECE!
Previously:
Ever since Skypiea, Luffy and Robin have been in a secret relationship, despite Robin's fears that her past is about to catch up with her. The crew are now at sea and sailing towards their next destination. Also, both Nami and Vivi have developed feelings for their captain, and they both agreed to do confront Luffy about them…
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
The hammock creaked slowly as Vivi shifted gently in her hammock, caught halfway between wakefulness and darkness in a state that couldn't quite be called sleeping. A part of her wanted to get up, but the quarters were warm and cosy, the hammock was swaying gently, and Vivi really, really didn't want to wake up.
It was past morning already, yet Vivi was enjoying the peace and quiet of doing absolutely nothing. Everyone else had left, and the only sound in the women's quarters was the rhythmic rocking of the ship gently bouncing over the waves.
Vivi remembered fondly the time when it had only been her and Nami with the whole, well-furnished women's room to themselves, but now she was sharing the single room with Nami, Robin, Conis, Aisa and Tashigi. It was a big room, and she got on well with all of her crewmates, but even so - the room was beginning to get more cramped and messy with each new inhabitant.
Still, Vivi reasoned to herself as she snuggled into her pillow, at least our room isn't anywhere near as overcrowded or as dirty as the boy's room. Then again, that was probably an unfair comparison. There were literal pigsties that were less cramped and dirty than the men's quarters.
It was nearly noon by the time Vivi finally summoned the strength to get up. It was so easy to just stay lying there forever, but there was an insistent worry nagging in the back of her mind. There was a matter that needed attention. It was with great regret that she finally staggered upwards, only to sigh as she thought about the task that lay ahead.
Luffy, Vivi thought quietly, stepping down from her hammock.
It had seemed so simple when she had been talking about it with Nami. They weren't going to stew about their crush anymore; they were going to actually do something about it. That meant that Luffy had to know. That meant telling him how she felt. And that meant that Vivi was going to have to make a move on Luffy.
Suddenly, the prospect seemed like a gigantic task. Stopping a civil war looked easy by comparison.
The thought made Vivi's face pale. She was actually going to have to flirt with Luffy. She had absolutely no idea how to flirt with anyone, let alone Luffy. Her whole knowledge on the subject came either from palace gossip or romantic novels, but actually applying any of those ideas seemed preposterous and borderline illegal.
Curiously, Vivi wondered how Nami would proceed, but the orange-haired woman probably wouldn't have a problem at all. Nami was to sex appeal as Zoro was to swordsmanship. Nami could flirt with a man even as she was robbing him blind and leaving him in a ditch.
The thought of Nami - confident, fearless and stunningly attractive Nami - made Vivi feel queasy. How could I ever compete with her?
Still, the entire reason Vivi had come with the Straw Hats was for new experiences, and to live life to the fullest. She had no intention of backing down now and letting her first crush walk away unwittingly.
Vivi opened her chest to get dressed out of her pyjamas, and paused slightly before picking out her usual outfit. Her blue dress; long, frilly and modest, suddenly seemed so inappropriate.
I guess if I've got to make a move, Vivi reasoned; then it couldn't hurt to be a bit more… aggressive.
She bit her lip in worry, before slowly and carefully picking out a different set of clothes. She kept glimpsing nervously towards the door in worry as she pulled off her nightgown, and selecting a dark orange bikini. A few seconds later, she picked up a long blue, sleeveless fleece, with a neck line so low she felt chilly. Vivi hesitated for a few seconds, before unfastening the buttons on the fleece further, such that her bikini bra was clearly visible.
She spent a few seconds inspecting her cleavage in the mirror. A bit aggressive, she figured, as she pulled on a short white skirt. It was short enough to reveal her legs nearly up to the thigh, and Vivi was just thankful that she took time to shave as she inspected her pale white legs, lean but muscled.
Vivi almost lost her courage twice as she walked towards the door. In the end, she just had to take a deep breath as climbed out onto the deck.
There were noises coming from meeting room. It smelt like Sanji was cooking lunch, and a sounded like a ruckus even from outside of the door. Vivi braced herself, not quite sure what she was going to do, but she walked forward anyways.
"Do it again!" Usopp croaked excitedly. It sounded like he was in his toad form.
"Again! Again! Again!" Chopper chanted eagerly. There were sounds of birds chirping.
"Aww, they're so cute!" That was Aisa, gushing innocently from the middle of the ruckus.
"Usopp, I swear to god if you get your toxin over the food, I'm going to cook you," Sanji warned dangerously. "No toad form in the kitchen!"
"Wow, look at how tiny they are!" Chopped laughed excitedly. "How many can you call?"
"I'm not sure," Conis replied hesitantly. Her voice was quiet, meek and nervous. "I don't even know where they come from…"
Vivi opened the door, just as flashing blur of pink whizzed by her. Inside, the majority of the crew was sitting around the table while Sanji cooked, but Usopp, Aisa and Chopper were all excitedly gathered around Conis. The blond Skypiean was surrounded by dozens of tiny hummingbirds chirping and buzzing across the room. Each of the birds was as small as a teacup, delicate and vibrant, and covered in bright pink feathers. Vivi couldn't help but grin at the sight.
Luffy looked just as entranced by the birds as anyone, but he glanced away as he heard the door open. "Oh, hey Vivi," he said in greeting, turning towards her. "Check out these birds that Conis' Devil fruit can—"
His voice cut off as he caught sight of her outfit. The whole room looked at her. Sanji's cigarette dropped out of his open mouth. Vivi had to force herself not to feel self-conscious, even though she more skin than she was comfortable with. She wasn't exceptionally well-endowed, but she still looked damn good in bikini.
"Hey," Vivi said with a smile, judging Luffy's reaction intently. "Something wrong?"
He blinked, and shook his head. "No - new outfit that's all," Luffy said with a smile, before pausing. "You look nice," he added sincerely.
Vivi glanced around the room. Most of them already seemed disinterested. Zoro just shrugged and looked away, while Wiper hadn't even cared enough to look up from his bazooka. Usopp and Chopper were far too distracted by Conis' birds, and Tashigi only gave a fleeting glance. The only person who didn't seem neutral was Nami; who stared at Vivi intently with a knowing frown. The two girls locked eyes for a moment, right up until the moment an excite squeal burst through cabin.
"Princess Vivi!" Sanji squealed eagerly, rushing to her side and chaperoning her to the table excitedly. "Your beauty makes my heart race! Come this way! Come this way! Please sit down here!" With a distracted kick, the chef knocked Usopp straight out of the seat in a single powerful blow. The huge toad rolled the ground with an irritated croak. Vivi just looked uncomfortable as Sanji pulled the chair and dropped to his knee to take her hand. "Please sit, princess," Sanji swooned happily. "I've got a special dessert just for you."
"Um… thank you…?" Vivi mumbled awkwardly as she sat down and Sanji rushed to bring her food. Across the table, Zoro rolled his eyes so hard that you could see the whites of his eyes.
The lunch was a soothingly hectic affair as always. The table wasn't very big, but there were still a dozen people, a giant toad and a duck gathered around. Tashigi sat next to Zoro, much to the obvious irritation of Sanji, while Chopper and Aisa ran around the room, playing cheerfully. Sanji was everywhere; rushing between the kitchen and the table and serving steaming platters of food eagerly. It was their first big meal since setting off from Jaya, and Sanji had obviously planned a celebratory feast. Twice, Sanji had to catch and strangle Usopp's tongue as he tried to steal food off the plates that Sanji designated 'for the ladies'.
Conis was settling in well; she was still timid and meek, but she was more comfortable among bustle of the crew and she was giggling softly at their antics. She spent the meal trying to summon more hummingbirds by the mimicking their call with a soft whistle. The tiny, delicate pink birds buzzed and chirped across the table, until Conis dismissed them back to wherever they came from with a sharp click. She was still a novice, and it would take her several attempts before she succeeded in calling or un-calling any of the birds.
Surprisingly, Usopp managed to out-eat everyone at the table, including Luffy. They had quickly discovered early that in his cane toad form he could devour twice his body weight in food, regardless of whether it was cooked, uncooked, or even technically inedible. Much to Sanji's horror, Usopp had started coming to every meal as a giant toad.
The sight of the toad devouring a whole platter of food (including the plate and cutlery), was fairly horrifying. Sanji looked ready to tear out his hair in frustration. If Usopp keeps on eating like this, Vivi mused to herself, then pretty soon he's going to get fat.
Luffy just thought it was hilarious. He laughed louder than anyone, causing the air to crackle with electricity. Sitting nearby, Robin had to pull back a bit as her dark hair started to frizzle and curl.
Eventually, Vivi gathered the courage to speak up. She forced a smile as she called across the table to the captain. "Hey Luffy," Vivi asked loudly. "So, you're getting pretty good with your new Devil fruit?"
"Yeah," Luffy replied, having to speak up to be heard over the noise. As demonstration, he flicked his hand forward and a small lightning bolt burst safely over the table with a loud crack like a whip. Aisa and Conis jumped in shock, while Sanji threw a ladle at Luffy's head for being reckless. "I'm learning," Luffy admitted. "Control is a bit hard."
Vivi smiled pleasantly. "Do you want to train together sometime?" She asked, carefully keeping any edge out of her voice. "It would be really useful to practice with another Logia?"
A keen eye would have noticed that Nami looked slightly alarmed with the prospect. Luffy just grinned. "Sure," he said cheerfully, before pausing. "Although I promised Zoro that I would try to teach him Haki…"
Zoro scoffed slightly at the statement. So far, Luffy's 'lessons' had consisted of him saying repeatedly 'No, you've got to focus differently' and Zoro becoming increasingly annoyed.
Nami smiled woodenly as she interjected quickly in the conversation, deliberately not looking at Vivi. "Hey, Luffy, you said you would train with me first."
He frowned. "I did?" He asked confusedly.
Nobody else paid much attention to the conversation, but meanwhile Robin was staring fixedly at her plate. Oh, no… She thought with quiet alarm, discretely looking between Vivi and Nami.
"Yes," Nami said decisively. "I need to tune my Clima-Blade to work against Logias, and we were going to spar together."
"Oh," Luffy said with a shrug, still looking mildly perplexed. "Of course I'll help." He frowned. "Do you and Vivi want to train together then?"
Vivi twitched slightly at the suggestion. "No," Nami said firmly with a forced smile. "I'd really prefer to spar alone."
He shrugged. "Alright." There was still a small confused furrow in his brow. "We'll do it after lunch, then. Is that ok?"
Nami nodded and leant back in her chair. No one noticed the discreetly venomously look Vivi shot her. The next time Nami took a bite out of her meal, it suddenly seemed to taste very sandy.
The two girls were quiet for the rest of the meal. The conversation slowly turned towards Wiper and the new cannons he was constructing, which became rowdy as Luffy demanded laser beams on them. Even as Conis made the wrong call and accidently summoned a large, extremely irritated owl into the middle of the meal, both Nami and Vivi were very reserved. Even as Usopp started to sweat and Sanji's hands became paralysed from the neurotoxin, they hardly said a word throughout the resulting struggle.
The meal came to an abrupt end as Usopp realised his parotoid glands excreted uncontrollably whenever he was flustered, and then most of the crew had to rush for a change of clothing and to wash the toxin off their skin. Still, as far as crew lunchtimes went, it wasn't anywhere near the worst way that a meal had come to an end.
Afterwards, Nami caught Vivi outside of the cabin when the rest of the crew was distracted. "What the hell was that?" Nami hissed.
Vivi's eyes narrowed. "What? "
The orange-haired woman shook her head. "'Oh, Luffy let's train together sometime'!" Nami said an exaggerated high-pitched voice, before balefully glaring at Vivi. "And your clothes!"
"Oh please, you were so much worse!" Vivi snapped, before backtracking. "And what's wrong with my clothes?"
"I can see your bra!"
Vivi's eyes widened. "This coming from the girl how's been walking around in a sport's bra for the last two days!" She spat.
"That's for training!" Nami retorted, bristling slightly. Nami quite often wore skimpy clothing, it was normal for her, but Vivi was usually more reserved.
"Sure," Vivi snapped, uncharacteristically catty. "And I'm sure 'sparring' is the only thing you've got mind."
Nami recoiled. She paused, before smiling evilly. "Fine." Nami smirked. "If that's the way you want to play it…"
Without warning, Nami suddenly pulled off her shirt and flung it to the ground, revealing a pink floral bra and extremely curvaceous chest. Then, Nami went headed straight down below deck towards the men's quarters.
"Luffy! " Nami shouted loudly, stomping down the ladders. "I need to borrow one of your shirts - Usopp got toxin all over mine…"
Vivi's jaw nearly hit the ground.
The rest of day was a dull, peaceful buzz of activity. At least it was for most of the crew. Vivi spent the day gritting her teeth and causing mini sandstorms of anger as she watched Nami run her hands all over Luffy.
They were training together. Nami was wearing training clothes; a tight, low-cut tank top that didn't even reach her navel, and dark shorts that perfectly revealed her legs. Her long orange hair was fastened upwards in a haphazard bun, and with the sweat dripping down her lean body she looked so good that she nearly sent Sanji into a coma. Nami had her Clima-Blade in hand, cutting and weaving nimbly at Luffy while the captain flashed around the arena in a blaze of sparks.
"Wow, Nami!" Luffy said cheerfully as easily dodged the cloud blade. Nami slashed furiously and never hit him, but it was good practice for Luffy's Mantra too. "You're getting pretty good."
She smiled sweetly. "I have a good teacher," she replied, and with a flick of her wrist the blade whipped upwards towards Luffy's shoulder.
He grinned. Luffy didn't dodge, but instead he just held out his hand and focused his willpower. In an instant, his hand turned solid black, and the Clima-Blade bounced weakly off the pitch-black skin. "Yeah, Zoro is a good teacher," Luffy agreed.
"I wasn't talking about Zoro," Nami said quietly, just as she darted in close with her sword. Luffy caught the pommel of the blade and twisted her around easily. Luffy never even wondered why anyone with the reach of the Clima-Blade would have to ever come in close. Nami just gasped and tripped over her feet, but Luffy was there to catch her. For one prolonged moment, Luffy's arms were wrapped around her shoulders as she held her off the ground, his body pressed against hers.
Nami sighed deeply and looked up at him. "I really appreciate you helping me, Luffy," Nami mumbled in a breathy whisper.
In the distance, there was muffled scream of rage followed by the light crackle of a sandstorm.
Luffy just smiled. "No problem," he said happily, pulling Nami to her feet, letting go of her and walking backwards to take up a fighting stance. "Are you ready to try again?"
Nami's eye twitched slightly. "Fine," she said with a forced smile. She paused slightly. "Say, Luffy? Do you remember that move you used against Smoker that one time? With the knives?"
He frowned. "Yeah?"
"Could you show me how you did that one?"
"Umm… Ok," Luffy said with a shrug, mimicking the movement he used back when he wielded dual knives. He pulled back his arms, and exaggeratedly slashed forward in a whirl of imaginary blades. It was a crude movement; he had never been particularly skilled with any weapon but his own fists. "Just pull your arms back… leap forward… and cut in circles…"
"You mean like this?" Nami asked, deliberately copying the same action badly.
He shook his head. "No; try to push forward with your arms…" He explained, repeating the arm action.
Nami walked towards him slowly, hips swinging with every step. "Show me," she asked quietly, pulling her arms upwards in a crude action.
Luffy hesitated but then gingerly held her arm, guiding her through the movement. "More like this…"
"You mean like this?" Nami asked quietly, gently snuggling tighter into his grip.
He guided her arm forward slowly, repeating the action. "… Like that…"
"Oh…" Nami mumbled, carefully keeping his hands on her body as she did the movement slowly. "… Like this."
Luffy blinked. Suddenly, he was standing directly behind Nami, her back pressing against his chest, while he had one hand on her arm and the other one on the side of her stomach. He was so close that he could clearly smell the scent of her hair. He honestly had no idea how he had ended up in this position, but Nami seemed to linger in it much longer than necessary. "Um… yeah…" Luffy said awkwardly, a small frown returning. "… That's it…"
"Thanks," Nami muttered meekly, but she didn't move away. "Tell me, have you ever thought about learning how to use a sword?"
"Huh?" Luffy mumbled. The question caught him off-guard. "Er… I've never really thought about it."
"Maybe you should," Nami pressed gently. "You've got a different Devil fruit now; maybe you should learn a different fighting style. It could be really good if you used learned how to channel lightning through a blade."
Luffy scratched his head. "Well…" He muttered doubtfully. "I've never really been any good with any weapon…"
"Oh, I'm sure you could learn," Nami said brightly, twisting around to smile at him. Her make-up was so light you had to look closely to even recognise that she was wearing any. Her lips were soft, pale and kissable. "… And I'd be happy to teach you… We could train together more often…"
Luffy blinked dumbly. "Ok," he said simply, but it seemed like suggestion needed more of a reply. He wasn't quite sure what to say. "I'll think it about it?" He ventured uncertainly.
Again, Luffy was sure he caught a small twitch flicking over Nami's right eye. It was either a small twitch or a mild seizure.
"Great," Nami said in a voice that was almost choked. Her smile was definitely wooden. If Luffy didn't know better, he'd say she was resisting the urge to slap him, but that didn't make sense. Nami never resisted that urge - she exercised it freely. "I look forward to it."
Luffy nodded and dropped back into a fighting stance, readying himself for Nami to make the first move. Nami hesitated slightly, and then suddenly Luffy paused. His body tensed and head tilted, as if he were listening to a sound that no one else could hear.
"Sorry Nami," He said after a few seconds, looking uncomfortable. "Can you give a minute? I need to do something, but I'll be right back."
Yep, there was a definitely a small twitch. Luffy decided to ask Chopper about that; he suspected that he needed a medical opinion. "Sure," Nami had to force the words. "Go right ahead. I'll be waiting right here for you."
"Thanks," Luffy grinned, before walking away quickly towards the back of the ship.
Nami waited a few seconds to make sure he was definitely out of sight. Then, she took a deep breath and made a sound that was part groan and part scream of absolute frustration. Nami had to muffle the sound with her hands all the while her whole body tremored. Then, she picked up her sword and repeatedly slammed the pommel against the mast as she tried to beat the fury out. Around her, Wiper and Usopp gave her confused looks, but Nami didn't care.
In an instant, Nami realised that although she was a world champion at flirting, she had absolutely no experience in sincerely telling a boy that she liked him. She could flirt her way through a pack of bloodthirsty pirates, into a man's wallet, and then out of the bill, but she had never even asked anyone out on a date before - at least, not the kind of date that didn't end with the guy dead drunk on the ground and Nami walking away with all his valuables. Her entire field of expertise was no longer relevant in this situation.
Ok, Nami thought with a gulp, I might have a problem here…
Luffy found Vivi at the rear of the ship, half-hidden behind the tangerine trees. She wasn't crying but her posture seemed very stiff.
"Hey Vivi?" Luffy called gently. The princess jumped with the sound of his voice.
Her eyes widened in shock as she looked at him. "Luffy!" Vivi squealed slightly. "What are you doing here?!"
"Er… I was just wondering if you were alright?" He asked gently. There was genuine concern in his eyes that made Vivi's heart ache. He seriously hated it when any of his friends were upset.
"I'm fine!" Vivi replied quickly, unable to keep the slight squeal from her voice. "Just fine! Why do you ask?"
"Well, I could just feel your presence with my Mantra…" Luffy explained confusedly. "And it felt like you were upset about somethi—"
"'Feel my presence'?" Vivi snapped, her voice instantly becoming aggressive. Of all her emotions, it was just easier to release frustration. "You mean were spying on me?!"
"What? No!" Luffy said with growing bewilderment. He had no idea how the conversation turned around so fast. "It's like hearing someone's voice, I can't help but—"
"And how often do you just 'hear my voice '?" Vivi demanded angrily.
"Well, all the time, but I can't just turn it off-" Luffy protested feebly.
"Stay out of my head, Luffy! " Vivi screeched loudly, glaring at him before stomping away. Her shoulders were shaking. She slammed the door behind her as she entered the ship and trudged down into her room.
Luffy remained paralysed for a long time. His mind ground to a halt as he tried and failed to make sense of what just happened. After a couple of minutes, he still didn't understand it and all that came out was a bewildered, "Huh?! "
He scratched his head dumbly, before adding the conversation to the list of things to be confused about. That list was getting really long.
That evening, Sanji cooked a whole trout seasoned with herbs and spices that Luffy couldn't even describe. The crew seemed happy enough, and Luffy tried to apologise to Vivi, for something that he still couldn't explain but experience taught him that it was probably his fault. Strangely, Vivi just blushed heavily and repeatedly told him to 'forget about it', which response that just made Luffy even more confused.
Later during the meal, Luffy tried to strike about a conversation with Nami and Chopper about Nami's twitch, which was followed by Chopper insisting on checking Nami's heartbeat and giving her a diagnosis. Weirdly, both Nami and Vivi were very quiet the whole meal.
Robin just sat in the corner and while watching both girls very discreetly. Ok, the older woman thought slowly; we have a problem here.
The rest of the meal was normal enough. The conversation slowly turned to Aisa and all the chores that she had do as cabin girl. Aisa stubbornly insisted that all of those chores were Usopp's responsibility, prompting an argument. Everybody then laughed at the sight of the giant toad being repeatedly pummelled by the eight year old.
Later, the conversation turned to Tashigi and Zoro, particularly their sleeping arrangements. Both of them tried desperately to avoid the discussion, but then Sanji made a somewhat crude remark and the swordsman and the chef ended up wrestling with each other. During the ruffle, Carue became flustered and the resulting belch of acid breath vaporised the entire meal. It was fairly normal way for everything to come to an end.
After that, even Luffy had to internally admit that perhaps his crew had a fairly strange definition of what a normal dinner was. He just sat there for a minute, disturbed and saddened by the waste of perfectly good food, though he said nothing, since everyone else seemed to be laughing about it.
It was only as they were all trudging to bed, that Luffy heard the muffled voices of Nami and Vivi, who had lingered in the common room, only to have a heated argument about something or another. For a long time, the captain debated intervening, before finally deciding against it.
It probably isn't any of my business, Luffy thought to himself.
The next morning…
Everybody woke up at different times. Vivi was up early, quietly crunching her way through breakfast with Tashigi, Zoro, Conis, Sanji and Wiper, just when a loud, angry scream burst through the ship. Everyone in the room jumped, just as Nami came barging through the door. She was still wearing her nightgown, and her eyes were bulging with fury.
"Somebody… !" Nami screamed to the room, glaring angrily at Vivi as she clutched at her hair. "… Somebody drained all of the moisture out of my hair! "
Nami's orange hair, once flowing and soft, was now frayed and dry, so messy and unkempt that it spilled from her hair. There were broken bristles of a brush still trapped it. Nami's hair looked vaguely like it had been replaced by a bird's nest made out of orange straw.
All eyes looked at Nami in shock, before slowly turning towards Vivi. The princess was the picture of innocence as she simply shrugged. "Perhaps you used the wrong conditioner?" Vivi offered sweetly.
There was a pause. Zoro burst out laughing. Nami looked ready to explode. Tashigi jumped up and quickly shuffled the navigator away, reassuringly promising to help her fix it. Vivi just returned to her breakfast as if nothing had happened.
The next time Vivi tried to go for a shower, there was a miniature lightning storm waiting for her.
"Do you think I should do something?" Luffy asked Zoro after a while, as they both looked down at Nami and Vivi sitting at opposite sides of the deck. The two girls were becoming more and more openly hostile towards each other and Luffy had no idea why. They were both just acting so weird around him.
Zoro shook his head firmly. "Nope, you don't want to get in the middle of it," the swordsman said definitely. "Trust me - this is one fight you don't want to be involved in."
Luffy frowned, still looking between Vivi and Nami curiously. He hated it when his friends were angry at each other; it made the captain physically ache. Normally, when guys were arguing they just screamed, fought and let it all out, but with girls arguing, well, they just became so mean.
"Hey, Tashigi?" Luffy asked curiously. The former Marine was standing near to Zoro, wearing a jacket and jeans as she leant against the handrail. "You're really friendly with Nami - do you know what this argument is about?"
Tashigi pursed her lips in hesitation. Both Zoro and Luffy looked at her curiously. Of course the swordswoman had her suspicions, but Luffy was apparently as dumb as a fencepost about some things and Tashigi really didn't want to be the one to open that can of worms.
"It's probably best if you talk to her about it," Tashigi said finally, gently wrapping her arm around Zoro's shoulders. So far, her relationship with Zoro was proving stubborn, argumentative, and infuriating. Still, then Tashigi looked between Luffy and Nami and Vivi and she was instantly thankful for what she had.
Luffy just frowned harder, and rested his head in his hands and started to think, long and hard, about if there was anything he could do. He gave up when he started to develop a headache.
As dusk fell over the empty sea, Vivi was left pacing on deck, struggling against her inner turmoil. It was late, but she had no desire to go to bed. Nami would be in the room, and Vivi really didn't want to have to face the navigator. The problem was that it was easier to be angry with Nami than to be truthful with Luffy, and now Vivi felt like she was going around in circles. By the end of another fruitless day, Vivi was left in an absolutely foul mood.
She knew that it should be easy. She knew that all she had to do was talk to Luffy, but the very thought was absolutely terrifying. They were all on the same ship together, and they were all Vivi's best friends.
What if he doesn't feel the same way I do? Vivi thought in quiet dread. Imagining the multitude of ways that it could go wrong was suffocating.
With a flicker of doubt, Vivi looked out over the brilliantly starry sky, reflected in the ocean. Everyone else was asleep. The crowded ship felt strangely deserted. Vivi slowly took a deep breath, before walking carefully towards the kitchen. She found what she was looking for in one of the bottom cupboards, tucked safely at the very back.
Desperate times, desperate measures, Vivi thought to herself as she stared at the bottle of sake. Zoro's private stash. Liquid courage. The memory of that night in Alubarna was crystal clear as she poured herself a glass of ale, drinking in the dark.
Vivi was a complete and total lightweight. She was only on her second cup and she was already tipsy as she heard the door open behind her. With a flicker, a torch lit the room up, and the light caused Vivi to wince. Suddenly, a figure dropped into the chair next to her.
Luffy was suddenly there, looking at Vivi with clear concern as she shakily topped up her glass, splattering sake over the counter. The princess was in absolutely no mood to talk. She wasn't drunk enough yet.
"Vivi," Luffy asked gently, placing his hand on her wrist. "What are you doing?"
"Getting drunk," Vivi replied simply, raising her glass. "Cheers," she said miserably to the empty room, before trying to down it whole. She ended up coughing and spluttering as the sharp liquid hit her.
Luffy winced, clearly anxious. "Vivi, it's past midnight," he said soothingly. "This isn't like you. Let's just go to bed—"
"No!" Vivi snapped. "I'm done sleeping and I don't want to share! I don't need help!" She glared him angrily. Her eyes were red. Her blue hair was a mess. "Right now, I just want to get drunk."
Luffy watched slowly as she poured another glass. The captain's hands slowly clenched. There was a long, awkward pause.
"Alright then," Luffy said finally, before standing up and walking to a cupboard. He sat down a second later, placing a glass of his own on the counter.
Vivi glared at him. "What are you doing?"
"Getting drunk with you," Luffy replied simply, reaching over for the bottle of sake.
The princess hands trembled. "Luffy, you don't have to do that…" She mumbled.
"Nope, I don't. But I want to." Luffy shrugged as he took a deep gulp of the clear liquid. It burnt. "You're my friend, Vivi; if you want to drink, then let's drink together."
Friend. The word stung. The alcohol was already making her lightheaded and then Vivi sniffed as the tears started to drip down her cheeks. Vivi had to wipe her eyes quickly, trying to keep Luffy from noticing.
"Hey!" Luffy soothed, holding her hand tightly. He gingerly poured another two glasses. "You know that I'm here for you, right? I don't know what's wrong, but just… just know that you never have to face it alone…"
Vivi nodded weakly. The moment stretched out a while longer. For a long time, nobody spoke, and the only sound was the rhythmic sounds of glasses hitting the counter, and more and more sake being poured. Vivi didn't share and Luffy didn't push the issue. There was just a quiet, reassuring silence as they both kept on drinking.
The bottle was nearly empty. Vivi glanced to Luffy curiously. "Zoro is going to kill us for drinking this," she muttered, slurring the words slightly.
Luffy shrugged. "Just blame Sanji," he replied simply. He was definitely holding his drink much better than Vivi was.
Despite herself, Vivi chortled with laughter. Luffy's face lit up brightly at the sound. Vivi met his eyes quietly, still wishing she was drunker. The alcohol blurred the fear, but she could still feel it.
After a pause, she had to ask. "Luffy…" Vivi muttered quietly, her voice feeling so frail in the dim of the empty room. "… Am I your friend?"
"Of course you are," Luffy said firmly, without hesitation.
Vivi's stomach churned. "What… what about Nami?" Vivi asked hesitantly. "Is she your friend too?"
"Yes," Luffy replied, frowning slightly. As if there could be any suggestion otherwise.
"So then… then…" Vivi's heart pounded as she formed the question. ".. so then which one of us is your better friend?"
Luffy blinked at the question. The very thought seemed utterly incomprehensible. "Huh?!" Luffy exclaimed. "Vivi… I can't… I mean… You're Vivi and she's Nami. How could I possibly try and compare you? I just… well, I need you both."
Vivi didn't reply. She just sat perfectly still, listening to him intently. Luffy looked agitated with the whole conversation. "Vivi…" Luffy continued hesitantly, before clearing his throat. "My friends are precious to me. My friends are the only things in the world that I couldn't live without. You and Nami… well… you're both absolutely priceless."
She didn't even twitch, but her heart was pounding furiously. Luffy gingerly took her hand, squeezing it lightly. "What's wrong, Vivi?" Luffy asked quietly, eyes bright and worried. "What's this argument between you and Nami? You don't have to involve me, I just… I just want to be there for you…"
Slowly, Vivi cleared her throat, staring at Luffy deeply. The empty room was dark, tense and expectant. "Really?" Vivi murmured.
"Yes," Luffy promised, shifting closer to her. "I'll always be there for you."
The princess' heart was pounding. Her head was spinning. It took a long time for her to form the words. "Luffy…" She muttered quietly. "… Do you remember that night in Aluburna? After the party?"
His eyes widened. The memory of the drunken kiss was still crystal clear. "Yeah, I remember," Luffy nodded, with a small smile. "I wasn't sure that you did."
Vivi's body tensed. "Why did you never talk to me about it?" She asked finally.
Luffy hesitated. "I don't know," Luffy admitted after a while. "… I guess I just never knew what to say? There was never the right time; it always felt so awkward…"
She nodded, carefully moving around in her chair to face him. They were sitting very close together. Vivi's long blue hair spilled across the counter. Her body was shaking. Luffy never let go off her hand.
"Did you…" Vivi murmured so gently it might have been a whisper, as she gradually leant inwards. "… Did you enjoy it…?"
The smell of sake was overpowering. The room was tense, and Luffy's tongue suddenly felt so heavy. The memory of that night was sharper than it had ever been. "Well… yeah, I did," Luffy nodded, as Vivi slowly inched closer. "I guess I just didn't really know how to react. I mean, you were really drunk at the time…"
Everything stopped. Through Vivi's hazy mind, she slowly managed to focus on the empty bottle of sake lying on the counter. A flash of guilt struck her.
"Yeah," Vivi murmured, slowly pulling away. "I guess I was really drunk."
Vivi felt like crying. She felt like collapsing on to the ground. She felt like screaming furiously. And all the while, Luffy just kept on holding her hand reassuringly. She wanted to kiss him. She wanted to kiss him so, so badly, but the part of her brain that was still thinking clearly refused.
The next time this moment happens, Vivi thought slowly as she rubbed her sore eyes; I want to be sober for it.
Luffy looked at her, expectant. Vivi gulped, before nodding. "Alright Luffy," Vivi murmured. "I think I better go to bed now…"
Stumbling, Vivi tried to stand up and nearly tripped. Luffy was there to catch her, gently holding her shoulders as they walked to the door. Vivi's legs stopped working at some point, but then Luffy held her upwards, lifting her off the ground and carrying her across the ship. Vivi could have quite easily have fallen asleep in his arms. At that moment, she had never been so comfortable.
Luffy slowly walked down the stairs, all the while holding Vivi reassuringly. He could feel her body breathing up and down rhythmically as she slipped into unconsciousness. It was very late and everyone else was asleep as he awkwardly pushed open the door to the women's quarters and stumbled into the room.
It took him a few clumsy minutes to find Vivi's bed, all the while surrounded by the lightly snoring bodies of his female crew. Eventually, Luffy pulled out Vivi's hammock and gently dropped her body into it.
"Good night, Vivi," he whispered softly under his breath, pausing to pull the blankets up around her. She moaned softly in response. Even as Luffy let go, her arms seemed unwilling to unwrap from around his shoulders.
Luffy stood back and paused, sighing to himself as he looked at her sleeping body, curled up like a baby and already snoring. He hesitated before leaving, instead turning around and ensuring that Vivi was properly tucked in bed and comfortable. Luffy closed the door very, very quietly as he crept away.
He didn't notice Nami lying in bed, eyes wide open, as she watched soundlessly.
I need help, Luffy thought firmly as he closed the door behind him. He simply wasn't smart enough to solve any problem involving girls, but at least he had finally learned to recognise that. There was only one person he could ever turn to, and he was too wide awake to go sleep.
Fortunately, Robin was awake as well. The archaeologist quite often kept strange sleeping hours, and she was currently at the back of the ship, reading a book by candlelight underneath the night sky. Luffy sensed her presence and quickly walked up to her. They kissed briefly, before snuggling down onto the single chair as a comfortable hush settled over the deck.
Slowly, Luffy began to explain what had happened with Vivi and their late-night drinking session. Then, he explained everything that was going on between the girls. He wondered briefly if Robin would be upset when he told her about the drunken kiss he shared with Vivi all those months ago, but if anything the dark-haired woman just seemed mildly amused with the revelation.
"What can I do, then?" Luffy asked finally, wrapping his arm around her waist and resting his hand on her hips. "I really don't like it when Vivi and Nami are arguing; it makes everything… weird."
Robin paused, resting her head on his shoulder. "I don't think there's anything you can do," Robin said finally. "Maybe they've just got to work this out amongst themselves."
"But why are they arguing?" Luffy pressed, frowning with confusion.
Robin smiled softly. The captain was so adorably clueless sometimes. "Maybe that's something they've got to share with you as well," she said gently.
Luffy seemed irritated by the answer, but he didn't push it. It took a few seconds for him to speak again. "Vivi asked about the kiss earlier," he said eventually. "Did I do something wrong when I never talked to her about it?"
Robin hesitated, wondering how to reply. "I wouldn't say wrong…" She paused. "I think that both of you just didn't know what to do."
"What do you mean?"
She lightly kissed his sternum. "It was Vivi's first kiss," Robin explained quietly. "A girl's first kiss is… important. It's a special memory to her, one that means something."
Luffy didn't reply, but he looked confused. Robin slowly straightened up. "It doesn't matter how mant kisses a girl shares in her life, whether it's a thousand or a dozen. The first kiss, the first one, well, that's always one that a girl will remember," she said softly, a light edge in her voice. "The first one is always the one you use to compare to every kiss that comes later."
"Oh." Luffy frowned. "I'm sorry that I took that from her."
"Don't be," Robin said with a smirk. "I don't think she's sorry at all."
He scratched his head. "Huh," he muttered, deep in thought, before he realised something. "She was my first kiss too, then."
Robin pushed her long hair backwards, a mischievous glint in her eye. "Not the last, though," she murmured.
Luffy grinned, pulling himself up off the chair and pressing his lips to hers. Every kiss still took his breath away. It was soft, tender and slow, but it still left him breathless as they gently parted.
He breathed in deeply, relishing in her taste as he stared into Robin's eyes. He stroked the nape of her neck. "So, what can I do then?" Luffy asked quietly.
There was a flicker in Robin's eyes. "Just let them sort it out. I think they've got to settle their own feelings before you can help," Robin explained quietly.
Robin paused, and just for a second she looked doubtful. The thought of two girls, each younger and more appropriate for Luffy, were at the forefront of Robin's brain. "You know that I meant what I said that first morning?" Robin said carefully. "There are no commitments on you with our relationship."
He frowned again. "What does that mean?"
"Just…" She hesitated, before finally forming the right words. "You don't have to force anything you aren't feeling with me."
Luffy's brain had to grind through that statement slowly. "You know how I feel about you, Robin," he said carefully. "I want to be with you forever."
Robin smiled, but it was her old smile. It was the smile used to hide how she was really feeling. "Forever is a long time, Luffy," Robin said gently. "I'm eleven years older than you, and you're only seventeen. I just want you to know that I have absolutely no expectations on how this should end."
That wasn't exactly true. Robin rather had quite a few expectations for how this… pleasant dream might end, but few of them were pleasant.
Luffy hesitated for a long time; he might not be the smartest person, but he could still be very perceptive when it came to his friends. He could feel that same doubt from Robin that he always felt when she let her guard down; it was like she was just waiting for things to go wrong.
"I'll always be there for you, Robin," he promised quietly, stroking her cheek affectionately. "I'll never, ever hurt you."
Robin almost replied, but she didn't. Instead, she just kissed him passionately, because it was easier that way. The words that she very nearly spoke still lingered in her mind anyways.
I'm not worried about you hurting me, Robin thought sadly.
They kissed for a bit longer. Robin felt herself relax into Luffy's arms as the ship rocked around them. After a few minutes, Luffy finally spoke.
"So then… first kisses…" he muttered curiously. "What was your first like?"
Robin stiffened slightly at the memory. She could still clearly remember that time when she had been much younger, hiding out in a quiet fishing town, and the young sailor that passed through. He had been handsome, charming, and funny; right up until the moment he had revealed himself to be an undercover government assassin. He had seduced her for information, slept with her, and then tried to kill her.
Luffy must have sensed her hesitation. "You don't have tell me—"
"No," Robin said quietly, smiling slightly woodenly. "It's fine. My first was when I was eighteen, and I was hiding out in a small town in the West Blue. He passing through, we met and really hit it off."
Robin wrapped her arms around Luffy tightly, thinking about the full story - the one that she would never tell. It had been a relationship that had taught to be constantly on guard. "It was just a brief relationship, it never lasted," she explained with a shrug. "He was just a sailor called Rob Lucci."
I really like you, Luffy, Nami thought quietly to herself. There it was; just five words. All she had to say was those five words and she could finally settle it.
"I really like you, Luffy," Nami whispered inaudibly under her breath, testing the way each word felt, how it felt to practice the words. Her heart was beating furiously at the very thought.
She was still lying in her bed, surrounded by sleeping women, but she couldn't even close her eyes. The only thought in her head was of Luffy and all the things she wanted to say to him.
I really like you, Luffy. I want us to be together. I want to kiss you. There was absolutely nothing else but her and her imagination, dreaming of everything to say. Everything that she had wanted to say for so long was just bubbling up inside of her. I really like you Luffy. I love you Luffy. Kiss me, Luffy…
Nami couldn't hold it in. Her resolve was so brittle it threatened to snap at any moment, but she still stood up slowly and crept soundlessly to the door. It was already well past midnight, but Nami didn't care. She couldn't do it when anyone else was around and she couldn't wait a whole day to get him alone. She hadn't heard Luffy go back to his room, so he must still be up on deck. Nami just needed to say those words to him.
Her heart pounded like a drum as she walked up the stairs. "I really like you Luffy," Nami whispered again, making sure that she wouldn't stutter as she tested the words. "I really like you Luffy…"
The cool air made her shiver as she came out onto the deck. She was still wearing her nightgown, but Nami was terrified that her courage might collapse if she went back for a jacket. Instead, she had to push on, looking for any sign of the captain.
"I really like you Luffy…" She whispered to herself, before glimpsing a flicker of candlelight at the back of the ship, near her tangerines. Luffy.
Nami's heart nearly jumped. She had to do this now. Her heart was spinning as charged towards the rear of the deck, finally saying the words out loud. She only just processed the sight of her captain before her mouth worked on autopilot.
"I really lik—!" Nami started loudly, before coming to a complete halt as her eyes finally processed the scene in front of her.
Luffy was there, but he wasn't alone.
Robin, tall, beautiful Robin, was draped off his neck as her long legs wrapped around his torso, his head buried into her lips.
The world froze.
I will not flinch, and I will not let go of him, Robin thought quietly, deliberately not reacting as she saw Nami turn the corner. Both of those reactions would imply that I am guilty, and I have absolutely nothing to be guilty about.
That said, Robin couldn't stop the feeling of dread from sinking into her stomach as she saw Nami's pale face and wide eyes.
The navigator didn't exclaim or shout out. Instead, her voice just jammed in her throat, leaving her speechless as both Robin and Luffy broke from their embrace to turn and stare at her.
Luffy did jump in surprise at the appearance of Nami, but he didn't let go of Robin either. Instead he just looked at the navigator, feeling an embarrassed blush rise up his cheeks. There was a tense, wordless moment as both parties soaked in the surprise.
"Oh," Luffy said dumbly, splitting the air with the simply statement. He smiled sheepishly. "Sorry Nami, we never knew you were there. What's up?"
At that moment, Robin felt her heart break for Nami. I will not be guilty, Robin thought silently, but it was no good.
Nami never moved. Luffy's smile widened apologetically. "Umm… yeah…" He muttered awkwardly, glancing between her and Robin. The archaeologist didn't dare speak. "Sorry, we should have told you, but we wanted to keep it quiet. Err… Sorry…?"
She didn't even twitch. Her eyes were bulging, but slowly Nami's breathing became slow, deep and wheezy. Luffy frowned. "Nami?" He asked worriedly. "Are you alright?"
Luffy expected some anger, or an exasperated sigh. He expected that Nami would punch him, or possibly just roll her eyes with some derogatory statement. He even expected that Nami might scream shrilly. Those were all the normal Nami reactions.
Instead, Luffy suddenly realised that there were tears pouring down her cheeks as she struggled to breathe properly. Her whole body started to tremble. Luffy's heart stopped at the sight of her tears.
I would prefer her to punch me, Luffy thought in shock.
"Nami?" He asked more urgently as he approached her. "What's wron—"
"No!" She screeched suddenly, stopping him dead as he tried to approach. She backed away from slowly, bumping into the wall of ship. Tears just kept on pouring down her cheeks. "No!"
Her eyes were wild, hurt and angry, and wet with tears. It was a sight that made Luffy's whole body tense. He was left speechless as he recognised the pain in her voice.
It physically hurt him to see her cry.
Nami glared at him through red eyes. She looked like she wanted to say something, but all that came out was a shrill cry between muffled sobs. After a few seconds, Nami turned and ran away, still weeping uncontrollably into her hands.
Luffy's mouth hung open stupidly. Robin's body tensed. The sound of Nami's sobs lingered in the air.
"What happened?" Luffy demanded loudly, turning to Robin. "Why was Nami so upset?!"
Robin winced. "Luffy, it's complicated—" She replied lamely.
"What happened?! " His whole body was shaking. He really, really couldn't stand to see his friend cry in hurt. The thought that he caused it somehow was unbearable. Robin bit her lip, trying to think of something to say. I shouldn't have let it get this far, Robin cursed herself mentally.
When she didn't answer, Luffy turned around and started walking after Nami. "I've got to go to her," he said firmly.
"No, Luffy don't!" Robin grabbed a hold of his shoulder to stop him. He looked at her confusedly. "Please, Luffy, it won't work. Let her have some time to herself for a while."
He hesitated. Every instinct in his body wanted to go to Nami and comfort her. "Please, Luffy, trust me," Robin insisted in a quiet voice. "Let her have some private time for a while."
She could see the debate raging across Luffy's face. Eventually, trust in his friends won out. "Fine," Luffy conceded unwillingly. "But why was she so upset to see us kissing?"
"She -" Robin paused. "She won't appreciate it if I tell her secret for her," Robin finished. "Nami is going to have to talk to you herself."
Luffy growled with the reply, pacing the deck unhappily. Robin hung by his side for a while, before heading down into the bathroom to wash her face in the sink. As the cool water hit her, she sighed as she felt the tension roll over her shoulders.
I knew this would happen eventually, Robin thought miserably. I was just too busy trying to ignore it with my head in the sand.
My secret little relationship with Luffy was never going to last, she thought. It had been fun, but it would never have ever worked out. I should have just made the preparations sooner.
The thought of Nami's crying face flashed in front of her eyes. It's probably for the best that this happened now, before I could delude myself for much longer. It has to end, eventually.
She hesitated for nearly an hour before she finally reached a decision. Steeling herself, Robin slowly left the bathroom and crept through the ship. It was still dark, and everyone else was still asleep. With the use of her powers, it didn't take long for Robin to find out where Nami was hiding.
The navigator was crouched in the storage room, nestled between the crates, and sobbing quietly into her hands. Robin approached very gently. In the silence, every footstep felt like an orchestra on the creaky wooden floor.
"Hey," Robin said quietly. "Do you want to talk to me? Or should I leave?"
Nami sniffled, and glared at her. For half a second, Robin thought the navigator was going to scream at her to leave. Then, in a wheezy snarl, Nami growled, "How long? "
"Since Skypiea," Robin admitted simply.
She could see Nami's whole body tense and tremor with the statement. "Well then," Nami spat bitterly. "I hope you're so happy together."
Robin nodded and gently leant down next to her. There was a tense quiet. Robin gulped, forcefully keeping her composure. "I shouldn't have done it," she said quietly. "I didn't plan on starting a relationship, but it just… happened. It was just one reckless night that stretched into something more."
Nami was still crying, but she wasn't sobbing anymore to listen intently to everything Robin was saying. Her eyes were red, hurt and accusatory. Robin sighed, before changing her approach.
"You should know that Luffy values friendship over sex," Robin said simply, keeping her voice level. "He enjoys the sex plenty, but he thinks of his friends are infinitely more precious."
Nami's hands tightened and grasped onto a corners of the crates in growing anger. Robin just continued in the exact some tone.
"And he will never, ever choose between two of his friends," she said quietly, not meeting Nami's eyes. "As far as he's concerned, he would much rather choose which one of his arms to cut off before he would choose which of his friends to lose."
Another pause. Robin had to pick her words very carefully. "If you can't accept our relationship, then Luffy will end it," Robin said simply. "I know he will; he'll say that the sex is not worth losing you as a friend, and he'll stop it. He'll do absolutely anything to keep you in his life."
"Good!" Nami snapped furiously, her cheeks still wet with tears.
Robin quite deliberately didn't respond angrily. Her voice was as calm, as composed as ever. "He'll try to keep all of his friends happy," she continued. "If we can't come to an arrangement together, then we might both lose."
The pause stretched out even longer. It took everything Robin had to force the next words out. "… or, alternatively…" she said slowly. "… we could both win."
It took a long time for the meaning of that statement to sink in. Nami slowly pulled her head out of her hands to stare at Robin with utter, incredulous disbelief. Robin could see the gears grinding as she dissected the unspoken meaning. Nami's mouth dropped open.
"Are you…" Nami muttered slowly. "… are you seriously suggesting…?"
"Just think about it," Robin said coolly, before standing up and walking away, leaving Nami staring dumbly around the room.
It would have taken a very keen eye to recognise the emotions streaming through Robin's own posture. This is for the best, Robin thought in quiet resignation. The least I can do is ensure that Nami and Luffy are happy together.
At least this way, when I have to leave, Robin thought to herself; then Luffy is already going to have another, healthier relationship.
At least this way Luffy won't miss me when I'm gone.
OMAKE:
The Legacy of the Gum Gum Fruit
(Occurred 4 days before the start of this chapter)
"Ok, I've got an idea," Usopp said suddenly, as the crew lounged out on deck.
"Wow, somebody call a reporter," Nami said dryly, not even glancing at the sniper. "Front page news, right there."
Usopp shot her a dirty glance, but then continued nevertheless. "Ok, this is my idea," he said slowly. "Does anyone here think that Luffy has been different recently? He's been more focused, a bit less silly?"
"You do remember that time just the other day when he tried to use Carue's acid breath to cook his meat quicker, right?" Vivi asked sceptically.
"I said a bit less silly," Usopp conceded.
"I suppose Usopp's right," Sanji mused, taking a deep breath of cigarette. "Ever since Alabasta, Luffy hasn't been as immature. He has become more focused, I guess. It's not surprising, really, considering that he actually died against Crocodile."
"Exactly!" Usopp beamed brightly. "But what if that's not just him being more focused? He also lost his Gum Gum fruit in Alabasta. You know how the brain essentially uses electrical signals to think, right?"
Nami stared at him, incredulously. "You can't possibly think…" She muttered disbelievingly.
"I'm saying that previously his brain was made out of rubber! What if that was also interfering with how he thought? Maybe the Gum Gum fruit was actually making him stupid!" Usopp said triumphantly. "And it's only after he lost it that he started to become smarter!"
"That's the stupidest theory I've ever heard," Zoro said after a moment's thought. "… And that's including Luffy's theory that it was possible to fly by electrocuting the ocean."
"Hey, it's not that bad!" Usopp pleaded, before turning to Chopper. "Medical opinion here, doc?"
The reindeer shrugged. "I don't know… maybe… I guess?"
"Wait, if Usopp's right…" Vivi muttered slowly. "Then Luffy has now eaten the Rumble Rumble fruit. What if that fruit can improve the electrical signals, making him super smart?"
There was a pause. All of them turned to stare across the ship to where Luffy was playing with Aisa. The captain was currently twisting and rolling on the floor, pretending to be a giant snake chasing after the little girl.
"Ok," Vivi conceded. "Maybe not super smart."
Nami stood up determinedly. "That's it! We need to test this right now!" She said determinedly, before charging off below deck.
Nami was back a second later, carrying a large box over to the group. Zoro glanced at the title on the box curiously. "'Dr Stein's Mastermind I.Q. Test '?" He read off the box, before looking doubtfully up at the navigator. "You seriously keep an I.Q. test in your cabin?"
"Sometimes I like to prove that I'm still the smartest person on this boat," Nami admitted with a shrug, before shouting over to the captain. "Hey, Luffy! Come over here! I've got a game that I want you to play."
Luffy approached curiously. Nami and Luffy retreated into the meeting room, where she carefully unpacked the box. Usopp looked through the porthole curiously, just as Nami placed a selection of misshaped pieces on the table and brought out an egg timer. Luffy cleaned his ear as he watched her dumbly.
"Ok Luffy," the navigator explained. "First test; I want you to build a cube out of the pieces as fast as possible…"
An hour later, a loud shriek split through the ship. The whole crew turned as Nami exited, pale-faced, from the meeting room. She was shivering and looked seriously disturbed. Meanwhile, in the background, Luffy was laughing furiously.
"Nami?!" Sanji asked urgently. "What's wrong? What happened?"
Nami gulped. "It's Luffy… it's impossible…" Her hands were shaking. "… He… He has an I.Q. of 217!"
There was a speechless pause, followed by a loud gasp and a dozen voices exclaiming, "WHAT?! "
Luffy strolled smugly out of the room, laughing triumphantly. "Bow down before me, dumb-dumbs!" He shouted cheerfully. "Me equals genius!"
"That's impossible," Sanji muttered, his cigarette dropping out of his mouth. "I don't believe it."
"I'm pretty sure that Luffy being smart is the first sign of the apocalypse," Zoro murmured quietly.
"This can't be right…" Usopp croaked. "There must be a mistake!"
"I double-checked the result…" Nami said with a fearful shiver. "Four times…"
"Believe it, dumb-dumbs," Luffy said smugly, clearly enjoying himself as he lorded over the rest of the crew. "I'm just too smart for you."
"That's it, Nami, prepare the test again!" Sanji said determinedly as both he and Zoro dragged Luffy back to the table. "I refuse to accept that this idiot is a genius!"
"Fine," Nami nodded, preparing a new set of I.Q. tests from the box while the rest of the crew crowded around the table, glaring suspiciously at Luffy. The captain seemed totally at ease while Nami handed out a new puzzle. "Luffy, you've got to highlight as many differences between these two pictures as you can."
"Easy," Luffy said confidently, picking up the pen and quickly circling the errors. One by one, the crew members' jaws dropped open in utter speechlessness.
At one point, after Luffy solved a complex 3D model in seconds, Sanji had to go lie down because the world was clearly going insane. Everybody looked mildly terrified as Luffy continued to score highly on test after test.
Nobody noticed the eye on the ceiling looking down at the puzzle, or the pair of hands sprouting from floor as they discreetly passed the answers to Luffy.
Outside, on deck, Robin smirked quietly as she pretended to read her book.
Special thanks to DhanaRagnarok for creating a TV Tropes page for Nine Minutes!
I really enjoyed this chapter, I tried to get the relationships right. I've been building up to it for a while, please tell me how I did.
I wanted to do that omake for a long time too, it was based on a review I got really early in the story. It just took me a long time to reach a point where I could actually put it in.
Next chapter: The romance on the boat gets a bit more… complicated…