"Why the long face, Hanssen?"
Henrik looked up into the smirking face of his mentor and shrugged a little. "It's a bit odd to be going from the theoretical world of my research into the practical world of general surgery. I'm learning so much, but I feel like I'm so far behind."
Graham sank down next to him at the table and stared at him until Henrik felt uncomfortable. Though that was par for the course this past week. He just couldn't gel with the people he was supposed to be working with on this rotation, and they all seemed too noisy, too messy, too much, when compared to the quiet way he and Roxanna had learned to work together over the last few years. He was far out of his comfort zone, and he wanted nothing more than to sink into his partner's arms and have her hide him away from the world. A part of him knew that he was sliding towards a depression, even though it had only been a week since they saw each other last, and he would have to fight hard to keep from falling into that great darkness.
"You're a million miles away again, Henrik."
He shook his head a little as he took a deep breath. "I was thinking about my partner, and how much I miss her. I know that I need to get through this year, and then we'll be together again, but this is our first test of separation. Because she goes back to school in Boston in eleven weeks, and I'm stuck here."
"That's an odd choice of words, Henrik. Stuck. Are you feeling frustrated by that?"
"No," he muttered as he watched Graham light a cigarette.
"Sorry, do you want one?"
He shook his head. "I gave them up for Roxanna. She doesn't like kissing an ashtray, and I'd rather kiss her than anything else in this world." Graham gave him a knowing look before slowly shaking his head as well. "What?"
"You don't have to be led around by the nose, Henrik. Your partner's not here, she'll never know if you have a fag or two."
He pursed his lips together as he pushed away from the table and walked over to the door. "But I would know that I've lied to her, and I don't want to have that hanging between us. I care for her far too much to do something like that."
Graham shook his head a little as he took another drag off his cigarette. "It's your life, you might as well live a little while you're here."
"I will keep that under advisement, sir," he said shortly before leaving the break room and making his was out onto the ward. Knowing that he needed to settle his spirit before he was required to go about his work once more, Henrik headed for the roof, knowing that being able to look at the scenery and imagine that Roxanna was somewhere out there, waiting for him, would do wonders for calming him. Thankfully, no one questioned him as he made his way up, and Henrik soon found himself outside for the first time that shift.
"I see I'm not the only person who likes to escape."
Whirling around, he saw a short young woman standing close to the edge of the roof, staring at him as he carefully approached her. "I thought that this would be the perfect place to get away from everyone. I can leave if it will…"
"No, you're fine! It's good to know that there are other people like me on staff. You're one of the new F1s, yeah?" He nodded. "Are you hoping to make this your final hospital, then?"
"I hadn't really thought about that, honestly. It will all depend on if my partner can secure an F1 position here or not. I really would like for us to work together as much as possible." The woman nodded solemnly before stepping away from the edge and regarding him closely. "She still has a year left in Boston, but then we're starting our lives together.
"You miss her, don't you?" He didn't want to appear too obvious or desperate, but it was clear that the woman had read him like an open book. "It's okay, I get it. You're allowed to love and miss whoever. And if you ever need anyone to talk to, my ear is always open. As long as you don't plan to take a rotation through the psych department."
Trust him to have run into a therapist, and Henrik nodded a little, knowing that he probably wouldn't avail himself of her services. She chuckled a little before patting his arm lightly and making her way over to the door. Once he was certain he was alone, Henrik stepped as close as he possibly dared to the edge of the building and looked down, feeling a bit dizzy by doing so. Stepping back a little, Henrik took a few deep breaths before looking out across the horizon. Even though the hospital was in the city centre, there was still quite the view, and he wished that he could share it with Roxanna somehow. "I'll have to bring my camera up here to take a few pictures for my next letter, Roxanna," he said quietly before he turned on his heel and made his own way back inside the hospital.
By the time he had made his way down the stairs and back onto his ward, it was just about time to start rounds once more, and he made certain to straighten his scrubs and take a few deep breaths before he went over to Graham's side and stood there attentively. "So, the plan this afternoon is to see Mrs Jennings through her hernia surgery. It should be a simple enough procedure; do you feel up to taking the lead on it today?"
Henrik nodded a little, knowing what a large undertaking that would be. It wasn't that he wasn't ready to take such a step, but it was another thing to know that he would be taking the lead on a surgery already. Still, Graham wouldn't offer him this opportunity if he wasn't ready for it. "I am honoured that you feel I'm ready for this step, sir."
"This is a teaching hospital. You can't hold onto my strings forever, after all."
He nodded again before taking a deep breath. "When do we head into theatre?" he asked, looking at the board for Mrs Jennings name.
"In thirty minutes. Which means you have twenty nine minutes to make a complete and thorough set of rounds on the ward."
Henrik swallowed as he drew himself up to his full height. "I will be sure to do just that, sir," he replied before heading to the first bed. He made certain to listen to the patient as he looked at the chart in front of him, making a few observations and reassuring the woman that everything would be all right and that they would take good care of her. This continued on through the rest of the beds, until he was coming to Mrs Jennings. Graham was already there, speaking to her lowly and reassuringly. "And how are you feeling about this afternoon, Mrs Jennings?" he said lowly as he picked up her chart, looking through it to familiarize himself with her symptoms, knowing that he would need the information once he had brought her back to the operating theatre. She gave him a small smile and started to speak, all while he paid careful attention, getting to know her a little better as they prepared her for her surgery.