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Chapter 13

Rose fell to her knees beside Tony after rushing as his side as soon as she had screamed his name, the rest of the world already forgotten. Her vision only focused on her son, who was lying in his own pool of blood.

She touched him everywhere, trying in her panic to stop the blood flow that wouldn't stop, completely frozen by the fact that her son was motionless in front of her. Logic told her that there was no hope for Tony. However in that moment she was a mother trying to save her child, not the soldier always cold under the pressure that UNIT knew so well. "Tony! Oh my god, Tony! Talk to me!" she ordered in a tortured voice, her hands pushing harder on his shoulder, the point of impact if the blood stains were any indication.

Tony suddenly coughed, his whole body jerking up as the adrenaline started to kick in under the pain. "Bloody hell that hurt!" he complained with a grimace. He tried weakly to look in direction of the injury but movement in that area was too painful for him.

"Langage," Rose admonished with humor, but all too happy to hear his voice and see him moving, even if he was in complete agony in doing so.

"Is the Doctor okay?" Tony asked with innocent eyes, making Rose chuckle brokenly as she brushed his face with gentleness. Her son, too much like her, his heart already on his sleeve and ready to put his life on the line for the Doctor. How could she have doubted even for one second he was not hers?

"I'm okay, Tony," the Doctor assured him with a weak yet relieved smile, his face appearing beside Rose. They exchanged a look before focusing again on the man in front of them. "How are you feeling?" He had sonic out already while scanning him at the same time. Worry visible is his eyes. Making the brief relief Rose had felt at seeing him disappear instantly.

"Not so good…" Tony answered, his face losing color by the second, even with the sonic working on his shoulder.

Rose cradled his head in her hands, locking her eyes onto him. "Be strong, my boy. You still have so much to see and learn! You'll be the greatest I'm sure! Running from star to star, laughing at everything and making me proud. You can't miss that can you?" She knew she was crying, but how could she not when her son was fading with each passing moment.

"You clearly inherited Rose obstinate nature. And combined with my TARDIS, I'm sure you will be unstoppable!" continued the Doctor, working endlessly on his wound, smiling brightly at his new friend. "It's in your genes to be the stuff of legend! Just like your mum! Did I told you about the time when she had overrun the King of the planet Helroz three by accident, and declared planetary peace who lasted for hundred of years without realizing it?" His emotions was showing more and more as the smile on Tony's face dropped.

"No, but I would love to hear about it," Tony answered weakly, his face looking ashen. "Oh that's beautiful!" he continued with wonder as nature was growing and spreading all around him.

"Yes." Rose was crying openly, smiling broadly to him as she was feeling her heart break and her soul scream in agony. But she needed to be strong for him. Sending him force with all her being, trying to make a difference in the inevitable outcome she was seeing right now. She knew that the Doctor was doing his best. But she also knew that sometimes it wasn't enough. "And you can't miss that, right? You need to see the beauty that the planet will become. Terraforming, it's an one time experience and you don't want to miss that!"

"Well, technically with the TARDIS you can," the Doctor tried to make a joke, wanting above all to keep Tony awake, and to focus on something to keep him from letting his frustrations loose on the world around him. Today was not the day that he would lose this precious life.

"See? So you need to hold on," Rose plead, but to her horror she Tony's body going limp on her. "Tony? You hear me?" She shook him, without result. "...Tony?" She said, her voice breaking on his name. But she was suddenly pushed aside by Martha, who had been looking helplessly on the side until then.

"He's going into shock!" Martha declared. "We need to stabilize him!" She was now only focused on the person in front of her. Determined for him to leave with them alive and well. Because she knew at the moment that she could save four hearts today, or break them all. And that was not an option, not after everything that happened.

"I think one of the arteries had been hit, but I'm not totally sure. I tried to stop the bleeding and clot everything with my sonic. But I think the bullet is still inside," said the Doctor, visibly living to his name and wanting to staying that way.

But Rose was not listening to the conversation anymore, because all she could see was the blood. She could see it everywhere and on anyone, coating her field of view and invaded her mind, waking the beast inside her. The smell of blood was deep into her nostrils, making her dizzy with the sudden urge to run and howl. The old Rose would have been terrified by what's inside her mind at the moment, running to the Doctor to stop it before it happened. If she had still been at UNIT, she would have isolated herself to focus on every trick she had learned during the years. But right now? Right now her limit had been pushed. So far and so deep she could not even see the line anymore. All she could see was the man responsible for what was becoming her personal tragedy. The man who wanted war so badly that peace was treated like a disease. The man who shot an innocent man, just to be sure to taint the innocent beauty around him. All just to prove that he could. But she would show him that he was not the only one ready to shed blood for poetic gesture.

She turned her eyes to him, an ominous smirk appearing on her face. Her whole body now focused on him, ready to torn it to piece if she wanted. She knew her power and what was trying to unleash inside her. She had made peace with it a long time ago, knowing how to reign it most of the time. But today, compassion and empathy dissolved like dust into the wind.

If the Doctor had not been so strongly focused on Tony, he would had been horrified by what she was. She was definitely not the Rose who had shown love to a dying Dalek. That part of her, that innocence had died a long time ago. But right now, the turmoil which was taking over Rose Tyler was clearly not noticeable to the Doctor, who was trying his very best to save the life of young Tony. Later, much later, he would see it as the occasion that triggered the unstoppable chain of events that changed the universe itself. And he would forever regret not seeing the obvious signs in front of him before hell broke loose.

But right now Rose was still fighting the war inside herself. And she was able to see fear in the eyes of the general in the split second before she was on him, her weapon drawn and ready to shoot. She had took everyone by surprise. She moved so rapidly that nobody had saw her advancing on him. Before he even had time to take a breath, she had him pinned against the wall with such a determination that he could not have moved even if he tried, not without struggle at least.

"Give me one reason not to kill you," Rose said in a voice so cold and distant that the few men around them took a few steps back.

"Because you want peace," Cobb answered with a smirk. In his arrogance, he was neglecting to realize that she was giving him a chance at mercy, and he was spatting it in her face. "You are just a pathetic pacifist without any ounce of fight inside her."

"Don't push me," Rose growled, her body going tense under the pressure of the warfare in her mind. She knew she could kill him right in that instant. With her bare hand if needed. But she was totally uncertain of the casualty if her control slipped with that level of emotions inside her. She still had nightmares of the last time it happened.

Cobb continued to smirk, always arrogant until the end. Determined not to show emotions in front of his men. "I could have killed you. I could have let you rot like the dog you are." At that Rose pushed her weapon with more force into his chin, struggling hard to keep the control. Letting Cobb think she was showing sign of weakness, making him hit as hard he could in his cockiness. "You are just lucky I was merciful. But then one day you will find a fish much bigger than you. And then you will finish your pathetic son. Dead in a ditch."

Rose knew it was all for show. That he only wanted to have the last word before he accepted whatever fate planned for him. She had saw the fear in his eyes and the uncertainty around him. But all she could see was Tony, fighting for his life when this man didn't have any ounce of remorse. She tried, she had really tried to resist, and to be the better better person.

But now she knew it was too late. The angered beast had broken free, and she would not risk her sanity for him. And in a blink of an eye, she was Rose no more. Her weapon fell on the ground, suddenly useless, as she grabbed his neck with force. She pushed him up the wall with such a force that he had to stay on his tiptoe to avoid choking. Upon witnessing this everyone had scattered a few meters back, afraid of the vibes coming off of Rose.

As soon as she felt the switch in her, the wolf unfurling claw by claw, the man who had glanced around cockily until then started to look terrified. Eventually losing enough color that he was white a sheet.

"What are you?" he croaked out miserably, as she was smiling gleefully enjoying the sheer terror about him.

"She wanted to show you mercy, even after you tried to harm those precious to her. Even after you would not repent your sins against the innocent." Rose's voice changed just then, mirroring the change within her body. "I am the one you should never wake…" She growled, "you don't know when to stop pushing, do you?" Her head tilted to the side, as if she were pondering something. "She's not one to kill without very good reason you know. She tried her very best to stop me, but you broke every limit." She smiled ferally, making the colonel thrash around more forcefully, trying his very best to escape this nightmare, his eyes going crazy under the fear. "Congratulations. You're the first one in...so so long…" She tightened her grip around his neck, making Cobb give off strangled puffs of air as he was slowly going limp.

"Rose!" She could hear from far away. "Rose no!" she heard the voice again, going at her like she was immerged underwater. But all she could see was the man in front of her, but slightly blurry, as if she was observing from behind a glass. A spectator in her own body. She was completely detached from that reality, and she didn't even really care. Around her was a vast of nothingness. "Martha! I need you to get her! Donna, please calm everyone!" The voice was still screaming, but she couldn't understand why. It was so peaceful. Seeing the light going gradually dimmer seemed so normal to her at that moment.

But her thoughts and placidness were abruptly shattered by the sudden apparition of Martha who was grabbing her, trying her best to make her release her grip on Cobb, screaming into her ear to drop him. She felt herself turn her head and the vision of a Martha looking very frightened of her, shook her enough to make her snap her out of the state she was in. As soon as she felt herself, she dropped Cobb with horror, who collapsed with laboured breath. She took a few step back, completely horrified about what happened.

But before she could even start to think about the fact that "she" was ready to once again take a life without remorse, she was suddenly in very strong pair of arms. Arms who belonged to a Doctor visibly divided between clear rage and intense worry.

"What were you trying to accomplish Rose?!" he asked in a voice lined with fury, his eyes going so hard she could almost see her other Doctor in one of his fits of anger.

"I...I…" she stammered, still shaken by what happened. "I don't know." She looked around, and realized how far back the others stood. Were they were also afraid of her? She almost began sobbing then and there, still not totally sure of the damage she had done. "Tell me I didn't kill anyone?" she begged, her stare full of unleashed tears, making him waver.

He let her out of his arms, making her falter for a second. "No. You just let out your anger out on Cobb, but he will live. He needs a little time to recover but no lasting effect as far as I can tell."

She searched around frantically. "Oh my god! Tony! Where is he?"

"He is going to live. We were able to stabilize him and stop most of his bleeding. That's why I sent Martha over to you. I needed a little more time to lock the bullet in place. Just enough to let me stabilize him enough to have him moved to the TARDIS to take it out." He rubbed at his eyes, his whole body screaming guilt. "I should have been the one to take this bullet."

"No!" Rose replied with fervor, making him look at her with surprise. "No one should have had to take that bullet." Especially not the Doctor in her opinion. If it had been him and he would have ended up having to regenerate. She was not sure if the place would have been left standing.

"You almost killed a man, Rose." He started to pace around, nervously agitating his hands around, making her slightly dizzy. "I know you love Tony. I love him too. But if Martha had not stopped you…" He stopped and looked her directly in the eyes, with such helplessness she wanted to cry. Or scream. "You would have watched him die. Rose you almost murdered a man in cold blood. I know you're better than that!"

"I know!" Rose screamed, making everyone jump a few feet in the air. Except for the Doctor, who was still unflappable and wrapped around his indignity. Making her shake with anger. As if he had been better than her. "Yes I know! And do you think I'm proud of this? Yes, I lost control! Do you want me to promise that it will never happen again?" She saw the brief glimpse of hope in his gaze. But she was not one to feed empty promises. "No I can't. Because I don't even know myself! It's who I am now Doctor. Like I told you, i'm not the Rose you knew. You have to understand that." She felt her shoulder slump, and she was tired beyond words. She was still very afraid for Tony, horrified about what happened and with the Doctor still stuck in the past. She just wanted to go home. She turned around, not wanting to fight with him anymore but she was stopped by a gentle hand in his arm, pleading silently to look at him. Just one last time.

As she met his gaze, she saw a new determination on him.

"Maybe you are not that Rose Tyler anymore… And I'm beginning to see that." He sighed, pushing his hands through his hair with a resigned face. "I cannot say that it's not something I'm happy about, because I'm not. And with you going…" She turned her face around, not wanting to see his stare at the moment. "We don't have much time right this moment, can we can still talk later?"

"Yes, we can still talk. But you still want the old Rose back, I understand that, but I don't know if I can give it to you. You've seen what happened. I lost control and almost murdered someone. You don't need someone like that with you. Even if for a few days." She was resigned to her fate, to go back to her life and isolate herself from everyone. Just like before. And maybe this time she will be stable enough to complete her mission without breaking down at the sight of the Doctor.

"It's your choice Rose," he murmured before turning his back to her. "I'm going back to Tony, I think they had enough time to move him to the TARDIS now." He threw her one last smile, visibly trying his best to make her think he was alright. "If you change your mind, you know where to find me." And then just like that, he was gone.

As she started to break down, having waiting to be alone for that, she felt a presence beside her, making her turn around suddenly. Her whole body ready to fight, because the last time she had lost control like that, the aftermath had not been pretty. But it was only Donna, who looked at her with kind eyes and an inviting smile.

"Why are you not afraid?" asked Rose, surprised to see someone wanting to be beside her voluntary.

"I've seen way worse, blondie." she responded with humor. "And I think that right now what you need is a friend." And then she sat down beside her, showing her that she was not going anywhere. She didn't say anything but for Rose it was more than enough. Maybe she was not the total monster she thought she was.

The Doctor on the other hand was more than conflicted. He abhorred violence, and killing was something he avoided at all cost. Seeing Rose so cold and so careless with a life was a real turning point for him. He had hoped since he had lay eyes on her again that they could maybe have something again. Just like before. He was so certain his Rose was not far from the surface. But how could someone so full of life and empathic change that much? It was impossible for him. But then, this happened. He really wanted to give her a chance, especially when she seemed so broken and dejected. But he was not sure he could see past her hand around the Cobb's neck, ready to see him die at her feet.

Rose Tyler was someone from the past. And effectively maybe the best course of action should be let her be and move on. But deep inside him was still that man who needed her oh so badly, he was ready to die without her. And right now? He was not certain who was winning in this fight.