"Henrik? I need you to head up to neurology."
He looked over at Graham, seeing how worried he looked, and swallowed thickly. "Is something wrong with Roxanna?" he asked as he pushed away from the nurses' station, getting to his feet and tugging on the bottom of his scrub top before buttoning his cardigan. "Graham?"
"She's, no one can calm her down. I don't have all the details from Stephen, but Doctor Self has managed to get her into Stephen's office and is talking to her, but it doesn't seem to be working all that well."
Henrik nodded as he made his way over to the lifts. "I knew that something like this would happen eventually. We haven't really talked about losing the baby, every time I bring it up, she changes the subject. My therapist says that this is normal for some women, but I just don't know what to do for her. I, I might be gone for an hour?"
"That's fine." He gave Graham a tight smile as he stepped into the lift and pressed the button for the floor he was needed on. The ride up found him trying desperately not to pace, so he straightened his back and stared straight ahead, not interacting with the others on the lift. Roxanna would have laughed at his uptight stance, and he quirked an eyebrow at the thought. Finally, the lift stopped at the correct floor, and he stepped off, giving a tight nod to Roxanna's mentor as he gestured towards the closed office.
Taking a deep breath, Henrik tried to settle his own writhing emotions before he entered, not wanting to add to Roxanna's burden. Finally, knowing that he couldn't prepare himself any further, he let out a long breath as he opened the door, letting himself inside. Roxanna was seated behind the desk, her head buried in her arms as sobs wracked her body, and he felt his heart crack a little wider at the sight, love for her pouring out of the wound as he closed the door and made his way over to her, crouching at her side before reaching out and stroking her hair.
"I didn't want them to call you," she whispered, the sound muffled by her arms.
"They know that you need me right now. Graham, he's just as concerned about you as I am. Darling, if you're not ready to work…"
She lifted her head and met his eye, shaking her head a little. "I need to be here. Just like I need to keep planning our wedding. It's the forward momentum that is helping me so, I just…I couldn't sleep last night, all I could think of was our baby, and I tried to push away the exhaustion and work through it, but Guy mentioned something about he and his wife starting to try for a baby, and I just lost it. It came upon my so suddenly and I couldn't breathe. Henrik…"
He nodded a little before standing enough so that he could take a seat on the desk. Once he was there, Roxanna stood and stepped between his legs, wrapping her arms around his waist before tucking her chin over his shoulder as she struggled to calm her breathing. Finally, he had a way to help her, and he took deep, deliberate, breaths, smiling a little when her breathing began to sync up with his. Once they were both calm, he tenderly pushed her away so that he could look into her eyes. They were puffy and red shot, and he gave her a sad smile as he reached up and brushed away the excess tears that still remained. "I know that each day will difficult, Roxanna, but I also know that we can do so much more together. On the nights you find that you can't sleep, wake me and we'll talk. Or you'll talk, and I'll listen. Whatever you need. Because…I love you."
She nodded a little, a smile fluttering across her lips as stepped closer to him once more. "I love you, too. And I cannot wait to be married to you. I, I have a question that you might not like."
"What is it?"
"Would you mind terribly if I went on birth control until after the wedding? I don't want to lose our physicality, but I need something happy to look forward to, and if I'm worrying about other things, I might tinge the memories I'm making with even more sadness. I know, we both want children, and we want Freddy to be with us, and…it's just so much."
Henrik dragged his fingers softly through her hair, looking into her eyes before giving her a small nod. "That would be fine, min kärlek. I can wait for another baby to hold, as long as I have you in my arms until then." A part of him was disappointed that there would be a wait, but that was small in the scheme of things. "And perhaps I could contact Maja and have her bring Freddy for a visit. While my lawyer is still ironing out the details, if I put enough polite pressure on her, I think that we could have him home. Even if it's only for a week or two."
A flicker of hope lit up her expression, and she nodded softly. "As long as you promise me that you are kind in your dealings with her. I know that she's been trying to split us up. I've seen the letters from her that you throw in the trash, even if I don't read them, I can only imagine what she is writing."
"It's not all bad," he said, willing to give Maja that much. "Though I mostly skim the letters for news on Freddy. She does detest the nickname Freddy, just so you know. But he needs a name of his own when he's with us, so don't stop." She let out a light chuckle at that, nodding before letting her head come to rest on his chest. "And I have been busy myself."
"Doing what?" she murmured as she tangled her hand into the fabric of his scrubs, tugging on it gently.
"Looking for a larger place for us to rent. I know that we might not settle down here, but I think that it might be nice to have a little more room to spread out and grow in. We could have a library room, which would be easy enough to convert into a nursery when we're ready to start trying again, and…"
"You've found the perfect place already, haven't you?"
He chuckled sheepishly. "I may have, yes, with Graham's help. He noticed me looking through a real estate magazine last week, and asked what we were in the market for. When I told him the barebones of what we've talked about wanting, he told me that he knew of the perfect place. We can take a look at it this weekend, since we both have Sunday off, if you want."
"That actually sounds amazing, Henrik. I love the way that you tangibly want to take care of me. We can head there after lunch? I'll make certain to attend the early service, so we won't be running too terribly late." The small touch of hope in her voice told him that he had made the right decision, and he smiled a little before kissing her forehead lightly. "I suppose that I should let you get back to work. I'm so sorry that I interrupted your learning."
"It's okay, Roxanna, everyone understands. And it was a slow day on my ward, so you didn't interrupt much. I'll see you tonight when you get home."
"All right," she murmured before kissing his cheek and stepping away from him. "You know, Guy will never let me live this down."
"Then I'll just have to deal with him. Don't let him push you around, you are much stronger than he is probably giving you credit for."
"I'll try to keep that in mind, Henrik." She patted his shoulder a little before making her way over to the door, smiling once more at him before stepping back out onto her ward and getting back to work. Henrik let out a deep breath of relief as he stood up and followed her out, heading towards the lifts without giving her a backwards glance, knowing that if he did, he probably wouldn't want to leave her and get back to work. And he had too much to do that afternoon to allow for that.