"This is the perfect place, Henrik!"
He smiled as he nodded, looking around the apartment. It was larger than their current place, and a five minute walk from a beautiful park. He knew that particular fact was a major selling point for Roxanna, since she loved being outside in nature. "Graham really does know what we like. I was surprised that it was so affordable."
"I thought…you already rented it, didn't you?"
He nodded a little, feeling a small stab of guilt in his heart before Roxanna's face lit up in pleasure. "I was just that certain that this was the place for us. Our next step up in life before we're ready for a house."
A grin spread across her body, lighting her up from the inside. It had been so long since he had seen this level of joy from her that he knew he had made the correct decision, and he welcomed the tight hug she gave him before she kissed him deeply. "I love you, Henrik Hanssen."
"I love you, too." He gave her another kiss before leading her deeper into their new home. "I was thinking that we could start moving our things over slowly, since we still have two months left on our current lease. I know, we're taking a bit of a hit financially with that, but I didn't want to let this apartment slip through our fingers. I don't like being this risky," he said, giving her a small shrug.
"Well, we'll just have to budget a little more carefully for the next eight weeks, then. And I can always ask Dad to float us a few quid if we need to get food. Show me the study."
He nodded as he took hold of her hand, guiding her down the hall. "Our bedroom and the bathroom are on the left-hand side here, while the two other rooms are on the right," he said. "I thought that we could have the study right across from our room, since we would be less likely to disturb Freddy."
"That's sensible," she replied as she tightened her hold on his hand. He smiled a little wider as he brought her into the study, hoping that she saw the same potential in it that he did. "You know, when we have our own baby, this will be perfect, after they've outgrown their Moses basket. Close enough to easily answer their cries, yet far enough away that they can learn their independence. I, I had a dream about our baby, the one I lost."
"Oh?" he asked as he led her over to the window, letting the sunlight illuminate her face a little. She nodded, pursing her lips before she swallowed. "Would you care to share?"
"He looked like you and Freddy. I know, I wasn't far enough along for us to know the gender, but it feels right to call him a him. And we were older, by a few years, and we were so happy. I almost didn't want to wake up from that dream, except I knew it wasn't true. But for those few brief dream moments, we were a family of four, and everything was perfect."
Henrik nodded as he caressed her face. "I've had dreams like that, too, darling. Only in mine, our baby never had a gender, they were just here, in our arms, and we were so happy. I, I also had a hard time waking up from that dream. But I think that that desire was a little different than yours?"
She tilted her head a little as she nodded, closing the small distance between them as she wrapped her arms around his waist and embracing him tightly. "I'm so glad that you decided to stay with me. I don't know what I would do right now without you in my life. We're a couple, but there are times when I feel like we've somehow become two halves who are only whole when we're together. Which I realise sounds so clingy and pathetic, but…"
"But then I remember that Socrates stated the origin of love to be when the gods separated us because we were too powerful, and we had to search for the rest of our lives for our missing half. Perhaps that is what you feel? Because there are times when I feel the same way about you, like if you could see our souls, as you call them, they would be like puzzle pieces that fit together seamlessly."
"You can be so romantic at times, Henrik," she whispered, and he gave her a small shrug as her thumb started to run back and forth along his cheekbone. "I wish this could be our always mode. But life gets in the way, and makes us feel like we're inadequate and not worthy of that love, that belonging." She tried to smile brightly, but he could tell that her expression wasn't all that genuine. "So, show me the rest of the flat."
"Of course," he replied before leaning in and kissing her forehead, listening to her sigh a little with pleasure as he took hold of her hand once more, leading her across the hall and into their bedroom. "I thought that we could put our bed in the corner of the room, so that you can open the window anytime you like and let fresh air in. But if you want it in the middle of the room, that's okay, too."
"No, I think that's the perfect idea, darling." She pressed a quick kiss to his cheek before stepping away from him and exploring the room. "All right, the closet is quite large, so we won't have to worry about where my clothes will go."
It was good to hear her teasing him, and he shrugged a little. "Perhaps we could consider making a large donation to the charity shops, too. I'm certain that I have accumulated a few too many things over the months I've been here, and there are still some things of yours in boxes, so…"
"Henrik Hanssen, some of those things are waiting for when we have a house!" He chuckled and she came over to his side and smacked his arm lightly. "Your teasing is different than my teasing. You have such a poker face, I swear."
"It's what makes me a good doctor, or so Graham says. I can project the aura of calm control and say that everything is going to be fine, and my patients believe me. Maybe, after we've been together for a decade or two, you'll be able to read me like a book."
"Perhaps," she murmured as she wrapped her arms around his waist, pulling him closer to her. "But I am known to be a quick study, so maybe it won't take that long."
"Here's hoping, my love." He combed his fingers through her hair before closing his arms around her waist and rocking them back and forth. "And did you want to put your record player in here or in the living room?"
"In here would be nice. That way we can listen to music while we make love."
"I like the way you think."
She pulled away from him a little so that she could look into his eyes. "And I like the way you think. So, I know our bed will have to be one of the last things we move, but I can bring all our off-season clothes over tomorrow before heading to the hospital for my shift. Like you said, if we do things little by little, it won't seem so overwhelming, for either of us."
Henrik nodded, loving her all the more in that moment, since she had taken his feelings into consideration when she mentioned that. The disruption to his routine would be less if they did take things slow, allowing him to grow accustomed to the newness of this place while they developed a stronger relationship together.