Chapter Two: Who are you? Who am I?

Petals in the Ash

A Fanfiction by Allison Illuminated

Chapter Publish Date: 1/21/18

Yang had called it a suitcase, but the oversized duffel stood out like a sore thumb. Lumpy and mottled, the coarse fabric had a rough stylized rose spray painted on the front. Zippers criss-crossed the side, and a leg from a pair of sweatpants stuck out the top.

Cinder glared at the bag, her aura flickering around her as the other students hurried away from her. Of course. Of course this is what Ruby Rose's bag looks like. This is just begging for me to incinerate it and this whole damn school with it.

She thought about walking away, but the vile taste in her mouth was too disgusting to ignore.

Steeling her resolve, she marched to the bag and pulled down the zipper to the main compartment. She blinked as a handful of gears and half a pistol fell out. After a second, she knelt down and rummaged through the compartment, her disbelief growing as she found nothing but weapon parts and tools.

...She's obsessed. She made the scythe herself, didn't she? What am I getting myself into?

Ignoring the growing dread, she flipped through the last couple of pockets. Two had nothing but ammo and dust, one had an assortment of screwdrivers, and the last had a blade sharpening kit.

"You found your stuff?"

Cinder spun around to see Yang behind her with an orange suitcase and backpack in tow. Why does she get a normal suitcase and I have this shit? "Hard not to." Yang grinned and turned away, and Cinder wrestled with her ego, which was screaming how she didn't need help from some stupid bimbo. That's bullshit, and if Rose didn't pack a toothbrush I swear… "Hey, um, Yang."

Saying the other girl's name felt like ash on her tongue. I would never have spoken to her before. She served her purpose when she fought Mercury. The blonde had done her part in her plans, so she supposed she could treat her… decently.

"What's up, Rubes?"

She laughed nervously, immediately hating herself for it. How can her stupid voice be so high? "Do you remember where I put my toothbrush?"

"I dunno, Dad helped you pack, not me. Maybe in your backpack?"

"Thanks."

So there was a backpack somewhere here too. Seeing how discussing the duffel was, she-

Dad helped me pack?

Ruby had a father. A living father.

Cinder remembered it in flashes. The heat. The burning smell. The mud and the pouring rain. Footsteps, turning back to a house in flames. The Grimm. She-

Stop it stop it stop it stop it stop it!

Digging her fingernails into her palm, Cinder sank to the floor and wrenched her expression into a smirk. Her hands arced back, pulling her shaking nerves tight as she squeezed her eyes shut.

This nightmare was only three hours old, and already it was stripping away the careful atmosphere of self control she had spent years building up. She wouldn't let herself think about any of that. She was going to take deep breaths, get back on her feet, and brush her teeth. Easy.

Ruby's backpack was slightly lower key than her duffel. Made of the same material with the same emblem spray painted onto the front, it was also tiny. Cinder knelt down and opened the sole compartment, staring at the mess of crumpled clothes and toiletries. The mess triggering her perfectionism, she yanked the mess of clothes out of the bag and started to neatly roll things up.

Two pairs of sweatpants. Five pairs of underwear and two bras, all disgustingly plain cotton. One pair of pyjamas, an extra pair of socks, two casual shirts, and that was it. Wrapped up in all of it was a toothbrush and a tube of toothpaste, along with a brush.

Cinder stared at the disheveled clothing around her. Plain. Unflattering. Sweatpants. "No. I refuse to live like this," she whispered to herself. "I will burn each and every one of you to crispy threads and dump you off the edge of Beacon cliff."

Hell, she would rather go shopping with Schnee than wear this shit around. At least the combat skirt was making an attempt at being cool.

Shaking her head, she pulled the bag towards her. I don't care if I have to pretend to be Ruby Rose. I will be making changes, and Blondie'll just have to go with it. I don't need a fucking sister. Besides, if things ever go back to normal I'm sure Rose'll thank me for fixing her abhorrent fashion sense, right before I fry her alive and send her corpse to her- to her father.

Pulling the backpack closer to her, she peered inside and pulled out the remaining things. There wasn't much – a notebook and a diary (that would probably come in handy), another pair of old stained underwear, and a picture frame.

Cinder blinked at the woman who stared back at her through the picture frame. She wore a white cloak, and her silver eyes seemed to sparkle through the clouded plastic as she cradled a baby in her arms. Curious, she turned the frame over and opened the back. Sure enough, there was a small written note in the corner:

"I miss you, Mom. Love~ Ruby"

Oh.

Cinder ignored her clenching throat, placing the frame back in the bag and hurriedly putting the clothes back away. She felt like she was intruding, somehow; everything had suddenly become more personal as she realized just how immersed in Ruby's life she had become. Unless she's hiding in this mind or trapped somehow, Ruby Rose doesn't exist anymore.

I am supposed to be Ruby Rose. And Ruby Rose has a sister, and a father but no mother, and loves weapons and cinnamon gum and-

She had an entire lifetime of expectations on her, and she didn't know the first thing about Ruby's life. How was she supposed to function?

I'm not Ruby Rose, so how am I supposed to be her?

In her panic, she had accidentally packed her toothbrush away. Now, she rummaged back through the freshly folded clothes and yanked the toiletries out before making a beeline for the girl's washroom with the pack slung over her shoulder. Going straight for the sink, she jabbed the brush into her mouth violently, gagging slightly as she spat. Water span down the sink bowl, the cold water running down her hand as she stared at the mirror.

On the tower, the light Ruby had attacked her with... It had come from her eyes...

Cinder blinked as she realized she had been staring into Ruby's silver eyes. How creepy was this, staring entranced at a child. How creepy was this, that she was the child? Was she staring at her own eyes? Was she going to wake up in Salem's domain, all of this just a nightmare left behind? Was she dead, and this was some cruel trick the universe had decided to pull on her before she drifted off into oblivion?

What if Ruby was in her body? Oh, hell no!

"Um, excuse me? Are you... okay?"

Cinder turned around to come face to face with the last person she had wanted to see at that exact moment. Concern sparkled in Pyrrha Nikos' emerald green eyes as she studied her. There was no arrow in her chest. She had been ash, and now she was in front of her, very much alive, as if her existence had been reinstated just to mock Cinder.

Think! If this is the first day of school, and she's Mistrali, then… Ruby probably wouldn't have known her. So, I just have to pretend to meet her for the first time, and not let her know that I'm mentally incinerating her.

Happy and energetic. She loved Emerald, but she might need a new mantra – this one clearly wasn't working.

It took her a second, but Cinder shoved her violent thoughts of revenge down and came up with the most innocent reason she could think of – at this rate she was actually going to get stuck with Vomit Girl for a nickname, wasn't she? "Sorry, I threw up on the airship. That's all."

"Oh."

Cinder was squeezing her tube of toothpaste so hard that a small pile had accumulated in the sink. Turning the water on, she rinsed it away and took a deep breath. See, you can have a reasonable conversation with these kids and not try to kill them. I can do this!

"So… what's your name?"

Fucking hell she's still talking to me! When Pyrrha didn't walk away after she ignored her for a moment, she mumbled, "I, um, my name is C- …Ruby."

Real cool and confident there, huh? Look at you, you're acting like the pathetic fifteen year old you look like.

Her eye twitched, and she spun back around and stood up straight. How did the Mistrali champion still dwarf her? She had been on her knees in front of her dying! She had looked down at her and burnt her away, and now she was the one being stared down at with a mild look of polite interest.

Wonder if Yang will notice if I start taking her friends into the emerald forest and start using them as Grimm bait…

And she had called her Yang again.

Why was she even trying to pretend like she had any control over her situation at the moment? Maybe she could transfer to Haven and explain the situation to Leo…

"Well, it's nice to meet you, Ruby," Pyrrha said, giving her a smile that never reached her eyes and holding out your hand.

Well, she's miserable. Hell, I bet half of these baby hunters are depressed out of their minds and too dense to do something about it. Bet Ruby never would have noticed that.

...she was pretending not to know Nikos, right?

Cinder grimaced as she shook her hand. This girl was not, and would never be, her equal. "What's your name?" The question felt flat, most likely because she hadn't asked it in ages; Cinder Fall didn't ask for names, she was told them.

"You don't know me?" There was a flash of surprise, and the hint of resignation vanished as she reconsidered Cinder in a new light. "I'm sorry, my name's Pyrrha. I just assumed, since you gave me that look when you saw me..."

Well, now she's never going to leave me alone unless I'm a total asshole to her – I mean, that would be fun, but that would be the end of my cover. Casting for something non-incriminating to say, she settled on saying "Today… could have gone better."

Biggest understatement of her life.

Pyrrha smiled again, this time genuine as Cinder pushed away from the sink and awkwardly stood holding her arm with her other hand. "I'm sure that nobody will remember what happened on the first day, so there's no need to worry about it. Do you want to walk back to the great hall with me?"

So diplomatic, Cinder couldn't help to think as she seized her up. Seriously, what the hell is this? I killed Pyrrha Nikos, and three hours later I'm exchanging pleasantries with her in the Beacon girl's bathroom!

Still, there was something about the hopeful look in her eyes…

No, that wasn't it. Having friends was going to be a necessary evil if she was going to pull this off, and she much preferred formal Pyrrha Nikos over Blonde Bimbo or Ice Bitch.

Once again, she found herself wishing for Emerald at her side. That was impossible, of course, if she was really in the past and not some twisted nightmare dimension (she wouldn't put it past Salem) – her favorite servant would probably at her penthouse right now, or perhaps monitoring at the warehouse.

Nevertheless… "Of course." Cinder had dealt with enough sleazy businessmen in her time to erect a facade of basic courtesy.

Pyrrha's face fell slightly, but she nodded and they exited the bathroom. She puzzled that over for a moment; why did addressing Pyrrha the same way she had talked to her make her less happy? Let's see, she probably has to talk to people like that all the time at her tournaments, right? Those aren't cheap pajamas either; her parents must be loaded, then. She was surprised when I didn't know her name, too… She must want to be informal but isn't comfortable enough to show it. "You seem nervous."

Cinder prided herself on her ability to read other people. In her line of work and with her ambitions, knowing intentions and secrets was the difference between life and death, and she had always been a survivor. Kids are so easy to read, it's funny. They just wear their emotions on their face, even the ones who try to hide it the most. Especially them. The flicker of regret she had been feeling since ripping on Weiss was back again, and Cinder kept her face neutral as she imagined all the gory ways she could kill her. Especially her.

She didn't miss the glimpse of surprise then gratitude as they walked into the hall towards a tall pile of sleeping bags. "Well, you're the first person who's actually wanted to talk to me, so I suppose a little bit. Vale and Mistral are very different, after all."

She nodded absentmindedly, staving of the rush of memories. How long would it have taken her to burn the school down if she just set the wall of bags before her on fire? "The upper district is, um, nice?" Well, aren't you just a great conversationalist. She would have liked nothing more than to set the whole district on fire and let it burn.

Although, if she was being honest, she felt like setting all of Remnant on fire right now, so that probably wasn't saying much.

"Well, it certainly is beautiful. When I was younger, I loved walking down Skyfall Boulevard and seeing the lilacs in the spring..."

Well, I wasn't wrong about her being rich. If only everyone here wasn't so cheerful and innocent all the time. That was far and away what she had hated the most undercover; there were no disillusioned warriors or kids of the street – Beacon was a spawning ground for the rich, the idealistic, and the naive. As far as she could tell, the only kids who didn't come from money were that Ren kid and his insane girlfriend, but even they seemed to be rather well off.

This place is rotting from the inside out, and none of them notice a thing.

She must have spaced out, because Pyrrha poked her in the arm. Startled, she flinched back and brought her hands out to her side to summon – the fall maiden powers were still gone. She felt naked in this combat skirt. How did Ruby feel comfortable walking around looking like a twelve year old? At least Schnee's combat skirt made her look her age! "Ruby?"

Was that a hint of suspicion? Pity? Either way, Cinder dug her fingernail into her palm and returned to a normal standing position, furiously cursing herself for her lack of self awareness and her stupidity. If she had been an assassin, I would be dead right now. "I'm sorry," I don't need your pity, "what were you asking?"

"I asked you why you want to become a huntress?"

The words stopped Cinder dead in her tracks. Why did Ruby want to become a huntress? Out of all the damn questions she could have asked, she just had to choose the hardest one. Why was time travel a thing?

No, really, why was time travel a thing? No matter which way she thought about it, Cinder couldn't come up with a more rational explanation than the gods were punishing her for her power.

"Um…" Why would Ruby Rose want to be a huntress? She didn't even know who Ruby really had been, beyond what Emerald and Roman had told her. She was idealistic, maybe… Hopefully this is good enough. "I want to get stronger so I can… protect people."

Yeah, that sounded real convincing. At least the first part had been true; she wasn't about to let her situation stop her from getting stronger. She would become powerful, with or without the maiden's powers.

Pyrrha stared at her for a moment, and Cinder got the uncomfortable feeling that she had seen straight through her bland answer. "Um, Ruby? I think someone is calling you."

Cinder blinked; sure enough, Yang was wildly yelling Ruby's name and waving from across the hall. Nope, that's supposed to be my name now. Note to self: pay attention when people say Ruby. "Oh, right. Well, um..." There was an awkward pause as she once again tried to think through how she was supposed to pretend to have a normal conversation as Ruby Rose with the girl she had just murdered. "I, um, that's… Yang, my… sister, so, um, goodnight?"

Brutally awkward, that just the way I like it. I guess confidence comes with puberty…

Pyrrha faked a smile, which was so obviously pained that it made her want to cringe. "Well… good night, then."

Cinder nodded, frowning as she walked away. She glanced back, sighed as she saw Pyrrha watching her walk away with her lone sleeping bag clutched to her chest, and started walking back. She looks like a lost puppy begging for treats. She's supposed to be the best fighter of her generation? Are you kidding me? She better be grateful that I'm letting her be friends with me. She should be grateful she's even alive. If I had my powers right now, well…

Killing Ozpin wasn't even really that hard. Killing her? It wasn't even worth my time.

"I thought you were going to sleep with your sister?" Pyrrha said as she walked back up to her, and Cinder rolled her eyes and nodded towards Yang.

"Look, if we're going to be… friends," Cinder said, almost at the verge of laughter at how absurd she sounded, "then come and sleep with us."

"Really?" she exclaimed. God, she's predictable. "I would love to, thank you."

Yang stared at Ruby as she led Pyrrha toward her sleeping bag. "Ruby? Are- What- Did you make a friend?"

Cinder froze as Pyrrha stepped forwards and offered Yang her hand. "Hello there! I'm Pyrrha."

What? Why does she sound like she doesn't believe me? Slowly getting the feeling that she had screwed up already, she asked, "Why, is that bad?"

"No!" Yang laughed, shaking her head. "I just never though my antisocial weapon obsessed little sis would even look at anyone here, let alone make friends so fast."

Antisocial.

Ruby Rose is antisocial.

You have got to be kidding me! I could have just ignored her instead of trying to be nice that whole time? Fuck!

Shakily, Cinder laughed as Pyrrha beamed at her and Yang pulled her into a tight hug. "Well, you know me, just full of surprises."

Clearly, Ruby Rose was a more complicated problem than she had originally thought, and if she didn't figure it out fast, she was screwed.

"Um, hello!"

Blake Belladonna looked up from her book and stared at the blond boy who had spoken to her. "Hi? Can I help you?"

"I, well, you see, I was kinda having a hard time falling asleep so I was looking for somebody to talk to," Jaune stammered, scratching his jaw in uncertainty. "But I don't really know anybody and I saw you, and I figured that you were awake, and, um, not talking, so I thought, well, might as well go talk to her, so here I am?"

"Right..."

"Right." Jaune leaned against the wall and slid to the ground beside her, and Blake closed her book and sighed. I guess I'm not reading right now. "Um, I'm Jaune. Jaune Arc. Short, sweet, rolls of the tongue, ladies love it."

"Do they?"

Jaune's expression was unfazed. "Don't know, never tried it before. My sister said that was the best way to talk to girls."

Blake snorted and rolled her eyes at his oblivious confidence, setting her novel aside and turning to look into Jaune's blue eyes. "You don't seem like you're going to go away, are you?"

His gaze fell, and he pressed his hands against the cold stone. "I don't know, do you want me to?"

Well, he certainly seems a lot nicer that Schnee and cloak girl did. All to conscious of her ears twitching slightly, she shrugged and hugged her knees to her chest. "I don't really mind, I wasn't reading very fast anyways."

Jaune gave her a big genuine smile, and she couldn't help but smile back. There was something infectious about the other boy, and she had to admit now that she was talking it was nice to not be completely alone, even if just for a moment. "So, what's your name?"

"Blake Belladonna." It was easier to say her last name here, knowing that it came without the stigma of being the daughter of the former leader of the White Fang. "You said something about a sister?"

Jaune and Blake talked for a while, passing the time as the rest of the prospective students snored around them. She learned that he had seven sisters, was from a relatively rural part of Anima, and liked playing the guitar. After a while, he yawned and said, "Alright, I think I'm going to sleep."

He rose to his feet, and Blake looked up at him as she picked her book back up and set it down in her lap. "Hey, Jaune? Where were you going to sleep?"

Jaune flushed and pointed to a dark alcove in the corner of the room, far away from the majority of the bags. "I- I know my parents told me to be social, but- There was this mean girl on the airship, and then I saw her when I was looking for a spot, and I panicked so now I'm over there..."

"No, actually that's perfect. I'm not going to sleep yet, but a quiet corner sounds a lot better than snoring like that guy over there." She pointed at a guy with orange hair who was sleeping very noisily on a stack of three sleeping bags.

"Oh, okay. Well… good night then. It was nice to meet you."

Jaune grinned, then turned and walked off towards the corner. "You too!" Blake called after him, before opening her book back up with a smile. He seems like a nice enough guy.

The Tale of Two Souls… I wonder what it would be like to be trapped in somebody else's body?

Cinder took a deep breath as the fabric walls of the sleeping bag pressed down around her. Calm down… It's just a sleeping bag…

Yeah, right.

Biting back a scream of frustration, she thrashed her arms forwards. How the hell did I get stuck in a sleeping bag!?

She had just been curious whether she could fit inside, since she was so much smaller than usual. The last time she had slept in a sleeping bag, her head and arms had awkwardly stuck out. The answer – Ozpin's sleeping bags were oversized and she did not like small spaces.

Finally, she broke out of the bag and took a heaving gulp of fresh air, or as fresh as a room with thirty teenagers in it got. Her eyes felt heavy, she pushed that feeling as far down as it could go. Haven't I fucked my life up enough today? I woke up ready to destroy Vale and take the relic, and now I'm here in the body of a fifteen year old girl.

Who the hell is Ruby Rose?

A memory rose in her mind – a black journal at the bottom of Ruby's bag. Reaching over and dragging the rough fabric towards her, she rooted through the main pocket and yanked the book out. Turning on the scroll's flashlight, she opened the book to the first entry.

September 27

Today was crazy! I was looking at the new Captain Dust comics, and then out of nowhere these bad guys came and attacked me! So I was like super awesome and beat them all with Crescent Rose. Well, all of them except for this weird guy in a hat with red hair, he got away with the evil fire lady and then…

Cinder's thoughts drifted off as she read Ruby's rambling account about Glynda and Ozpin and cookies. Evil fire lady, huh…

She had known she was a psychotic evil bitch for a long time – that was never the question. No, what she wondered sometimes was whether that was a bad thing or not. Most times it was easy to dismiss the punitive moral judgments of others. But tonight…

Pyrrha Nikos was dead. I killed her. And now she's not, and somehow we started a friendship and she's nice…

Cinder hated nice people. She hated naivette, hated how people were too lazy to educate themselves…

She had hated Pyrrha Nikos. She had hated Ruby Rose.

This… Whatever the hell was happening, it was complicating things, and she hated complications.

Pyrrha's red hair spilled over her pillow, her chest rising and falling softly. Peaceful. There was no way to describe the scene around her besides peaceful.

It's hard to believe that I'm going to Beacon. It's been my dream for so long, and now it's actually coming true. I'll write more tomorrow, but I want to work on Crescent for a bit before I go to sleep, so later!

Ruby. Next to her name, she had scrawled a heart and a smiley face. Flipping the page, Cinder stared at the blank paper in confusion before realizing that she had meant today, and Ruby would not be writing another entry.

Happy and energetic, huh?

Cinder let the book cover close as her head drifted down to her pillow, her mind slowing down as she puzzled over Ruby on endless repeat. Who was she? How was she going to figure it out?

Ruby, idiot… How am I supposed to figure out anything about you if you only left me one journal entry?

Maybe this was all a dream. Maybe I'll wake up tomorrow in my penthouse, with my powers and Emerald and Mercury…

Slowly, Cinder drifted off into troubled sleep.

[A/N] I didn't expect to have this done for another couple of days, but I had a flash of inspiration and ended up finishing the whole thing today. Thank you for the amazing response on chapter one, you guys rock! Your feedback means a lot to me :) I'm going to try to update around every other week, but I don't want to set myself a hard deadline so that I can keep my focus on re:Bound.

Signing out, Allie