Fusion Cuisine

by Masterdramon

Before she graduated Luna Nova and became an international magical superstar, Akko was just a waitress at her family's restaurant. But when a family emergency puts that restaurant in jeopardy, Akko drops everything to come back and help. Problem is, she can't do it alone. To pull this off, she'll need the help of the smartest person she knows...a girl she hasn't seen in two years.

8. Part VIII: Swapping Recipes

Fusion Cuisine – Part VIII: Swapping Recipes

Disclaimer: In case you haven't figured it out yet, I don't own Little Witch Academia. All LWA-related characters, settings, etc. are the intellectual property of Studio Trigger and Yoh Yoshinari.

[-]

The O2 Arena, London

Two Years Ago

Akko slunk down into a chair in her dressing room, her chest beating a mile a minute as she pressed a phone against her ear.

"God, it…it still doesn't seem real," she said through tight lips. "Out there are almost twenty thousand fans, waiting to see my debut. Twenty thousand! I figured I'd be lucky to get, like…a tenth of that!"

"Then you sell yourself short, Akko. My deepest regret is that I cannot be there among them."

As stressed-out as she was right now, the soft, familiar voice of Diana Cavendish was like a lifeline in the ocean.

"It is kinda ironic, huh?" Akko spoke into the receiver. "You're in Tokyo and I'm in London. We basically switched off after graduation."

"Yes, the thought had occurred to me as well. Alas, if only Tokyo University's orientation had started just a week later. Even if I won't be able to see most of your shows…I would've loved to bear witness to the first."

"I just can't shake the feeling like I'm gonna mess it up somehow," Akko confessed to the other woman. "Especially after COVID restrictions almost scuttled the whole thing. Gotta tell ya, it's gonna be weird performing for a bunch of people in masks."

"Better to be safe than sorry. But then, that's another reason to press forward, is it not? The last few months have been…difficult, for many people. And I expect the worst is still to come. All the more reason why we need individuals like you, who bring joy and laughter into the world."

Akko let out a nervous half-chuckle. "No pressure, huh?" she said.

"I didn't mean it that way. Apologies if it came across as such. But disregarding all of that…"

She heard Diana inhale deeply, as if marshalling her thoughts.

"Akko, I know you have worked hard for this. Tremendously so. You have come a very long way from the girl who was always looking for shortcuts and tricks, in lieu of practicing. Believe in the efforts you have put forth…as I do."

"You're gonna make me tear up, Diana," Akko told her, though truthfully she was almost there. Hearing Diana's voice just had that kind of effect on her these days. "God, I wish you were here. I wish we could…"

She stopped herself. They'd been about to veer into some very dangerous territory.

What was the point of deciding not to share her feelings before graduation, if she was just going to spill them out a few weeks later? Diana was trying to build a new life right now, all the way on the other side of the world. Pursue her dreams of bringing magical medicine to the masses, and restoring the Cavendish legacy to its former glory.

She didn't need some silly, awkward girl hanging onto her, who was on the cusp of achieving her own dream and could only think of how much she didn't want to do it.

"Anyway, enough about me. I need to talk about something other than the show or I'll go nuts," she said after a little while. "How're your classes going?"

It might've been Akko's imagination, but it seemed like Diana hesitated just a little too long before answering.

"It is still…quite early in the term. I wouldn't really be able to give a meaningful assessment. Suffice to say that I'm confident it shall provide the educational rigor necessary for my career aspirations."

"Good ol' Diana. Using all those five-hundred yen words," Akko teased. "Seriously though, I'm glad you found a place you can really stretch that big, beautiful brain. Just don't forget us little people when you win, like, ten Nobel Prizes at once."

"The Nobel Prize only has five categories."

"And you'll win 'em all twice!" exclaimed the brunette, giggling. "Somehow."

Butterflies filled her stomach as she heard Diana match her laughter, the sound light and musical.

"Well, I suppose I too must ensure I do not disappoint. You always set such a high bar to reach."

There was a long pause before Diana spoke again. But when she did, it was in much lower, more serious tones.

"Listen to me, Akko. Before you go out there, I want you to know…that is, I most ardently need to express…"

But Akko never got to hear the end of that sentence. Her manager Erica burst into the dressing room, giving a hand sign that best translated to: YOU SHOULD'VE BEEN OUT THERE FIVE MINUTES AGO GET YOUR ASS IN GEAR RIGHT THIS SECOND OR I SWEAR TO GOD I'LL BE HAVING YOU EAT NOTHING BUT POTATOES FOR THE ENTIRE REST OF THE TOUR!

Erica's hand signs were very expressive.

"Sorry, Diana. Looks like I really gotta run," said Akko, clapping her hands together in apology even though they didn't have video on. "But we can pick this up after the show, if you want?"

Another uncomfortably long pause. Then…

"No, Akko, that's alright. Best of luck out there. Your greatest fan…will be rooting for you, half a world away."

[-]

PickledPlumPrincess: so um

PickledPlumPrincess: thx 2 every1 4 joining

DianaCavendish: Yes, your aid is truly appreciated. Please do be patient with me, however. I am new to the art of "texting" and not yet fully acquainted with all requisite etiquette.

SixtyO'Nine: …

SixtyO'Nine: omigod

SixtyO'Nine: this

SixtyO'Nine: this is actually how u fucking type isnt it

SixtyO'Nine: WHY THE HELL HAVENT I BEEN TEXTING U ALL MY LIFE THIS IS SOLID FUCKING GOLD

I Pirozhki: Come now Amanda, be nice

I Pirozhki: I set this up, so if you say mean things I'll feel responsible!

DoYouDoPoison: well that kinda limits MY options

DianaCavendish: It is still unclear to me what Amanda finds so humorous about my manner of written communication. Or is this one of those things only they would consider amusing?

SixtyO'Nine:

DoYouDoPoison: oh joy

DoYouDoPoison: memes

DoYouDoPoison: is it too late to drop out of this stupid thing

StanCorpCEO: I'll make this easy for you, Diana. They're making fun of the overly formal way with which you format your texts. Generally, most people don't put quite as much effort into spelling, grammar, punctuation, etc. in this kind of forum.

SixtyO'Nine: ….

SixtyO'Nine: god i 4got how diff conz is in text

PickledPlumPrincess: THATS CONSTANZE?!1

StanCorpCEO: :)

StanCorpCEO:

PickledPlumPrincess: ok thats more on brand

DoYouDoPoison: the only thing worse than memes

DoYouDoPoison: ANImemes

StanCorpCEO: The fact that you know that term makes me think you're a lot more familiar than you're letting on, Sucy.

DoYouDoPoison: eh there's SOME anime that's okay

DoYouDoPoison: just none of the ones akko yammers on about

DoYouDoPoison: but that's cuz she's got shit taste in general

PickledPlumPrincess: HEY

PickledPlumPrincess: tho honestly i didnt know u watch anime sucy

PickledPlumPrincess: fav show?

DoYouDoPoison: hmm

DoYouDoPoison: if you MUST know

DoYouDoPoison: probably sabikui bisco

PickledPlumPrincess: …

PickledPlumPrincess: yeah that tracks

SixtyO'Nine: wtf is that

SixtyO'Nine: y do none of these things have normal names

I Pirozhki: I don't know much about anime

I Pirozhki: But I think everyone should be free to enjoy whatever they love the most!

I Pirozhki: Though I've learned a bit from watching Binging with Babish videos

I Pirozhki: That Food Wars show has some really interesting recipes!

PickledPlumPrincess: o geez

PickledPlumPrincess: i cant tell u how many of those ive tried and failed!

PickledPlumPrincess: souffle omelet = total disaster ;_;

DianaCavendish: I believe we have drifted somewhat from the original reason this group was assembled.

EdgarXAlbertOTP has entered the chat.

EdgarXAlbertOTP: I'm SO sorry I'm late!

EdgarXAlbertOTP: The timezone is really weird here in Madagascar!

EdgarXAlbertOTP: I hope I didn't miss anything!

SixtyO'Nine:

SixtyO'Nine: it was mandatory

SixtyO'Nine: sorry not sorry

StanCorpCEO: It really, truly wasn't.

StanCorpCEO: But no, you didn't miss anything at all, Lotte. Glad to have you joining us!

SixtyO'Nine: just shitposting

SixtyO'Nine: only like

SixtyO'Nine: half of which was my fault

PickledPlumPrincess: LOOOOOOOOOOTTE

PickledPlumPrincess: ALL THE HUGS!1

EdgarXAlbertOTP: Happy to hear from you too, Akko :)

EdgarXAlbertOTP: And everyone!

EdgarXAlbertOTP: I think I can guess pretty much everyone from screenname.

DianaCavendish: Most of these monikers can be reasonably inferred from personal or professional interests, yes. Although I'll admit that Amanda's has me a bit stumped, other than the obvious play on their surname.

SixtyO'Nine: …

SixtyO'Nine:

SixtyO'Nine: im sorry but she JUST KEEPS SETTING ME UP

DoYouDoPoison: why

DoYouDoPoison: did you ever think inviting them was a good idea

I Pirozhki: Because this was about reuniting ALL the Nine New Witches!

I Pirozhki: Or at least us younger ones

I Pirozhki: I don't have current contact info for our professors

StanCorpCEO: I do, actually. Professorin Meridies has been a major partner for StanCorp's latest project. Can't mention any details since I'm under an NDA, but I do have her personal number. I could forward the invite if you want?

DianaCavendish: That would be appreciated, Constanze, if you don't mind. Their perspectives should be invaluable, given what we are about to discuss.

SixtyO'Nine: so wut IS going on anyway

SixtyO'Nine: go ahead and cavenDISH

SixtyO'Nine:

DoYouDoPoison: jasminka you're the host

DoYouDoPoison: for the love of god

DoYouDoPoison: can you turn off the ability to post gifs

I Pirozhki: Searching through the settings, but no luck so far

EdgarXAlbertOTP: I'm honestly curious myself!

EdgarXAlbertOTP: Obviously I'm thrilled to hear from everyone.

EdgarXAlbertOTP: But it sounds like this might be something serious?

PickledPlumPrincess: it is

PickledPlumPrincess: really scared tbh

StanCorpCEO: :(

StanCorpCEO: Whatever it is, you can count on us to help.

I Pirozhki: As soon as I heard what happened, I knew we couldn't face this alone. But we've always managed to pull through these kinds of things together

DianaCavendish: I know I have no right to ask this of you, after so poorly managing my post-graduation relationships with you all. But we are at an impasse, truly.

SixtyO'Nine: bla bla bla pity party

SixtyO'Nine: just get 2 the part where we can help!

PickledPlumPrincess: thx Amanda

PickledPlumPrincess: …i think?

PickledPlumPrincess: diana u can prob explain better than me

DianaCavendish: In brief, we are embroiled in conflict with a criminal known as Masato Takeuchi. It seems he has been supplementing his illicit business deals for years with a dark artifact known as the Somnarca, which lets him put a target in a trance and manipulate their actions. Though I appear to be immune to its effects, Akko was not, and we only narrowly escaped his clutches the first time. I shudder to imagine what he plans for the next.

EdgarXAlbertOTP: Oh my goodness!

EdgarXAlbertOTP: Akko are you alright?!

PickledPlumPrincess: little shaken but ok

PickledPlumPrincess: but that isnt the worst that bastard did

StanCorpCEO: ?

PickledPlumPrincess: HE

PickledPlumPrincess: TRIED

PickledPlumPrincess: TO

PickledPlumPrincess: HAVE

PickledPlumPrincess: MY

PickledPlumPrincess: PARENTS

PickledPlumPrincess: KILLED

SixtyO'Nine: …fuck

EdgarXAlbertOTP: I'm so sorry!

DoYouDoPoison: so what's his deal

DoYouDoPoison: why's he so obsessed with you guys

I Pirozhki: He wants the Kagari family restaurant

I Pirozhki: I don't think any of us are sure why it's so important to him

StanCorpCEO: As awful as it sounds, it may just be simple greed. I've learned the hard way since entering the corporate world, how far some people are willing to go for a few pennies.

DianaCavendish: That was my working theory before we actually met. But after speaking to him directly, I'm no longer so certain. This seems far more…personal.

DefaultUsername2427468 has entered the chat.

DefaultUsername2427468: Oh dear, that doesn't look right.

DefaultUsername2427468: Croix, do you know how to change this?

DefaultUsername2427468 has started a group call.

DefaultUsername2427468: No! Please ignore that, my apologies!

DefaultUsername2427468 has changed the background color.

DefaultUsername2427468: Still not right…

DefaultUsername2427468 is sharing their screen.

DefaultUsername2427468: No no no no! Don't look, please! Croix, I'm begging you, how do I turn this one off!

CupRamenQueen has entered the chat.

CupRamenQueen: Jesus Christ Chariot

CupRamenQueen: Hold on I'll join you in the other room

DefaultUsername2427468 has left the chat.

CupRamenQueen: Sorry about that kids

CupRamenQueen: For now, pass along anything you need to ask Chariot and I'll type for both of us

PickledPlumPrincess: SENSEIS!1

PickledPlumPrincess: oh god ive missed u so much!

CupRamenQueen: (Chariot) We've missed you as well Akko

CupRamenQueen: (Me) I see you're still getting into just as much trouble as you used to

PickledPlumPrincess: not my fault this time!

PickledPlumPrincess: …

PickledPlumPrincess: ok a little my fault

PickledPlumPrincess: but mostly that dickheads!

CupRamenQueen: (Me) Yeah we're catching up on the chatlog, hold on

CupRamenQueen: (Me) BTW I also vote for banning memes, they are the lowest form of public discourse

DoYouDoPoison: finally an ally

StanCorpCEO: I for one would argue that title rightfully belongs to Twitter.

I Pirozhki: Agreed

SixtyO'Nine: agreed

EdgarXAlbertOTP: Agreed…

DoYouDoPoison: vote changed, agreed

PickledPlumPrincess: agreeeeeeeeeeeed

DianaCavendish: I have used the website for perhaps a combined total of ten minutes across my entire life, and yet I also feel compelled to agree.

CupRamenQueen: (Chariot) I have no idea what a "Twitter" is, but it seems like I am fortunate in that regard

CupRamenQueen: (Me) God you don't know the half of it

CupRamenQueen: (Me) Anyway we're caught up

CupRamenQueen: (Me) Speaking as the only person here who's a former supervillain, it sounds like you're dealing with quite a doozy of one

I Pirozhki: Takeuchi is definitely a villain, but I don't know how "super" he really is

DianaCavendish: What would the difference be, in this context?

SixtyO'Nine: …..

SixtyO'Nine:

DoYouDoPoison: uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurgh knew that was coming

SixtyO'Nine: IM ONLY HUMAN

CupRamenQueen: (Chariot) I read about the Somnarca when I was doing some post-graduate research. Supposedly it was crafted by a witch in Ancient Rome, who intended it to be used to sooth the ill with sweet dreams

CupRamenQueen: (Chariot) But the witch served in the court of Emperor Nero Claudius. When he realized the Somnarca could actually CHANGE people's dreams, he ordered it to be used on his political enemies

CupRamenQueen: (Chariot) In item magic, intent is key. Using an artifact for corrupt reasons will inherently corrupt the artifact itself. The Somnarca may not have been created evil, but now every spell it casts will naturally tend that way

CupRamenQueen: (Chariot) I can't imagine how black the soul of someone who's been using it nonstop for years would look like

CupRamenQueen: (Me) BTW if anyone's wondering, yes, she ALWAYS talks this way

CupRamenQueen: (Me) So teachery

CupRamenQueen: (Me) Even at home

CupRamenQueen: (Chariot) Croooooooooix ;o_0;

CupRamenQueen: (Me) That's what you sound like

CupRamenQueen: (Me) That's the face you're making now

DoYouDoPoison: this is nauseating to witness

DoYouDoPoison: if I wanted to deal with couple's banter, I'd have stayed in touch with Tweedle Dum and Tweedle Di

EdgarXAlbertOTP: Sucy that's enough!

DoYouDoPoison: fine are we talking solutions then

DoYouDoPoison: cuz this seems pretty easy to me

DoYouDoPoison: gimme five minutes alone with Takeuchi and the extract of a certain plant

I Pirozhki: Umm…which plant?

SixtyO'Nine:

DoYouDoPoison: as annoying as they are

DoYouDoPoison: they pretty much nailed that one

PickledPlumPrincess: that gif is very disturbing

PickledPlumPrincess: ALSO NO MURDER SUCY

SixtyO'Nine: y not

SixtyO'Nine: sounds like the fucker deserves it

DianaCavendish: We aren't going to sink to his level. Takeuchi believes himself untouchable by magical and mundane authorities alike. We need to disabuse him of that notion – and we need to do it by the book.

CupRamenQueen: (Me) I agree with Diana. Trust me, when I speak about the emptiness of revenge, it isn't coming from some meaningless platitudes but

CupRamenQueen: (Me) AMPLE personal experience

PickledPlumPrincess: and trust ME

PickledPlumPrincess: i do want him 2 pay

PickledPlumPrincess: but i still need 2 be able 2 look my folks in the eye after

EdgarXAlbertOTP: We understand. You're not that kind of person, Akko. It's why we all love you.

StanCorpCEO: Putting the moral question aside, it seems unlikely we'd be able to corner him long enough to administer poison or similar.

StanCorpCEO: Seems like a far more practical solution would be relieving him of his power source.

I Pirozhki: Yes, we discussed that earlier tonight

DianaCavendish: The primary complicating factors are as follows:

DianaCavendish: One, the Somnarca is heavily warded against destruction or tampering, and thus most likely, theft as well.

DianaCavendish: Two, we are as yet unaware of the location of Takeuchi's "home base."

DianaCavendish: And three, Takeuchi is backed at nearly all times by a large number of physically imposing bodyguards. Their loyalty strengthened, or perhaps even outright stolen, by way of the Somnarca.

CupRamenQueen: (Chariot) Perhaps you can consider attacking from another angle. If you can't touch the Somnarca because of its magical shielding, depower it instead

CupRamenQueen: (Chariot) A powerful enough nullification spell should break down the barriers and also, at least temporarily, shut off the artifact. Then you could destroy it with any number of mundane means.

SixtyO'Nine:

CupRamenQueen: (Chariot) Crude, but yes, that should work

CupRamenQueen: (Chariot) Also, how in the world do you get that cartoon to play on its own like that?

CupRamenQueen: (Me) I'll tell you when you're older, Cherry

CupRamenQueen: (Chariot) [is making the most adorable puffy face right now]

CupRamenQueen: (Me) What? You are!

DianaCavendish: I had considered the option, actually. Unfortunately, the only nullification spell I can think of with enough power to overcome something as ancient as the Somnarca is Inanitas Summa. And that spell far exceeds what I am capable of without a Sorcerer's Stone.

EdgarXAlbertOTP: Are there any Stones in Japan you could lure him to? Artifact magic usually isn't powered up like wands are, unless it's been specifically tuned to the Stone.

EdgarXAlbertOTP: I've learned THAT the hard way.

EdgarXAlbertOTP: But it means it should give you an advantage.

PickledPlumPrincess: govmt keeps stones here locked up tite

PickledPlumPrincess: never even SAW 1 til i came 2 luna nova

StanCorpCEO: Actually…I might have an idea.

StanCorpCEO: Professorin Meridies, are you thinking the same thing?

CupRamenQueen: (Me) Oh

CupRamenQueen: (Me) You mean…

CupRamenQueen: (Me) Yeah, that COULD work

CupRamenQueen: (Me) Are you sure though? Your shareholders won't be happy you lent out an experimental prototype to your friends

StanCorpCEO: What the shareholders don't know…can't hurt them. ;)

SixtyO'Nine: YES

SixtyO'Nine: THERES THE LITTLE TECH GREMLIN WE ALL KNOW AND LOVE

SixtyO'Nine: knew the world of late stage capitalism couldnt take away our conz

StanCorpCEO: I assure you, Amanda, I harness its evil power only to destroy it from within.

StanCorpCEO: Like any good Char archetype. :)

DianaCavendish: Sorry, can we back up a few steps? What, precisely, are we talking about now?

StanCorpCEO: Will be easier to explain in person.

StanCorpCEO: Well, the Stanbots will explain, but…you know.

StanCorpCEO: Anyway, I'm looking up flights now.

PickledPlumPrincess: !

PickledPlumPrincess: we…didnt mean

PickledPlumPrincess: we cant ask u 2 do that

SixtyO'Nine: 2 late

SixtyO'Nine: shes prob already hacked the mainframe 4 tickets or whatevs

StanCorpCEO: "Hacked" is a strong word, but yes. Actually quite reasonable this time of year, surprisingly.

EdgarXAlbertOTP: And I'll do the same. Just give me a few days to get things in order.

PickledPlumPrincess: LOTTE NO

PickledPlumPrincess: u got a job thing rite?!

EdgarXAlbertOTP: Honestly, I already know this expedition isn't going to turn up much. I can always tell right away, from how the spirits…sound.

EdgarXAlbertOTP: I've been trying to get out of my contract for weeks now, and this is a good excuse.

EdgarXAlbertOTP: But…more than that…

EdgarXAlbertOTP: If you need help, then I'll be there. That's what friends are for.

SixtyO'Nine: WELL SHIT

SixtyO'Nine: IF THEYRE COMIN IM COMIN

SixtyO'Nine: *CUMMIN

SixtyO'Nine: LETS FUCKING GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

DianaCavendish: As appreciated as your…enthusiasm may be, I must reiterate Akko's point.

DianaCavendish: You are all spread across the planet, and have lives and careers of your own to attend to. Our intention in reaching out was solely to beseech advice. Not to ask you to uproot yourselves for our sakes.

I Pirozhki: But Diana…

I Pirozhki: Isn't that basically what you did?

DianaCavendish is typing…

DianaCavendish is typing…

DianaCavendish is typing…

DoYouDoPoison: pretty sure that's the text equivalent to her mouth gaping like a fish

DoYouDoPoison: AKA Akko anytime she's in class

EdgarXAlbertOTP: Sucy!

DoYouDoPoison: well…

DoYouDoPoison: whatever

DoYouDoPoison: guess I'm in too

DoYouDoPoison: someone has to make sure these bozos don't blow themselves up with their latest scheme

DoYouDoPoison: plus gotta be more interesting than what I'm doing these days

StanCorpCEO: What DO you do for a living, Sucy?

DoYouDoPoison: ….

DoYouDoPoison: see Amanda's stupid Spongebob meme above

SixtyO'Nine:

SixtyO'Nine:

SixtyO'Nine:

SixtyO'Nine:

SixtyO'Nine:

SixtyO'Nine:

DoYouDoPoison: oh my god

DoYouDoPoison: that wasn't a request to post MORE fucking Spongebob memes

SixtyO'Nine: …

SixtyO'Nine: it wasnt NOT a request either ;)

SixtyO'Nine: aslo teh korrekt speling iz MOAR

SixtyO'Nine:

PickledPlumPrincess: im more impressed they had them all lined up so quick

PickledPlumPrincess: but wait no thats not the point!

PickledPlumPrincess: look

PickledPlumPrincess: i get wut u all r doing

PickledPlumPrincess: but

PickledPlumPrincess: this is my mess

SixtyO'Nine: rite

SixtyO'Nine: just like the whole holy grail thing was MY mess

EdgarXAlbertOTP: Or saving me and my parents from the Greenman Disease.

StanCorpCEO: Or helping me get my first Stanship off the ground.

DoYouDoPoison: and I GUESS I can thank you for that whole

DoYouDoPoison: going inside my head to wake me from eternal slumber thing

DoYouDoPoison: (even if you did almost botch it seven different ways to sunday)

I Pirozhki: In short, with due respect, Akko

I Pirozhki: You really don't have much of a leg to stand on as far as telling your friends to stay out of your business :)

SixtyO'Nine: yeh just TRY 2 keep me away

SixtyO'Nine: btw i may or may not bring along some

SixtyO'Nine: SPECIAL guests

SixtyO'Nine: ;) ;) ;))))))

DianaCavendish: Do I even wish to know?

SixtyO'Nine: honestly…probably

SixtyO'Nine: but i wanna preserve the surpriiiiiiiiiiiise

DianaCavendish: Well, in any event…

DianaCavendish: I can see that any further attempts to dissuade you all would be futile. I ask only that you exercise caution. By seemingly random chance, I have proven to be immune to the Somnarca, as have Akko's parents. But she herself demonstrates that being a witch is no guarantee of protection.

EdgarXAlbertOTP: We'll be careful, Diana. This isn't the first time any of us has faced off against dark magic.

EdgarXAlbertOTP: Although I really wish that wasn't true…

DianaCavendish: Then we must turn to the question of logistics. It sounds like Lotte, Sucy, Amanda, and Constanze will be traveling to Japan?

CupRamenQueen: (Chariot) I'm so sorry! I wish I could come to support you girls as well, but…

CupRamenQueen: (Me) I'll skip transcribing all the hemming and hawing noises she's making and cut to what she's dancing around

CupRamenQueen: (Me) I'm still on conditional parole. And a ban on international travel is one of those conditions

CupRamenQueen: (Me) If I jump on a plane, they'll probably know

CupRamenQueen: (Me) And if I use a leyline, they'll DEFINITELY know

CupRamenQueen: (Me) As for Chariot herself…

CupRamenQueen is typing…

CupRamenQueen is typing…

CupRamenQueen: Hello everyone. This is Professor Ursula. I've forced Croix to give me control of the "key board." Hopefully I can type this without messing everything up again.

CupRamenQueen: I believe she's reluctant to share my current…medical situation. But I feel strongly that you all deserve the truth.

CupRamenQueen: We've been working together, these past few years, on a treatment for the Wagandea pollen. And those treatments are just starting to bear fruit.

PickledPlumPrincess: …

PickledPlumPrincess: omg

PickledPlumPrincess: sensei im so happy 4 u!

PickledPlumPrincess: U CAN FLY AGAIN NOW?!

CupRamenQueen: Please settle down, Akko. But…yes, a little bit.

CupRamenQueen: Unfortunately, the treatments are currently a daily regimen. If I skip them for a few days or weeks, it's possible I risk not only the progress I've already made…

CupRamenQueen: But I may do long-term, permanent damage to my magical circuits.

CupRamenQueen: Akko…I do apologize. Part of me wants nothing more than to swoop in and rescue you from this vile man. But that never worked out all that well in the past, did it?

CupRamenQueen: I must face facts. None of you are my students any longer. You've all grown up into fine young adults.

CupRamenQueen: I will do everything I can to assist you from afar. But if the next generation of witches is to flourish…

CupRamenQueen: You must learn how to confront these sorts of challenges directly.

I Pirozhki: We understand, Professor

I Pirozhki: Thank you for everything. :)

CupRamenQueen: (Me) This is Croix

CupRamenQueen: (Me) Chariot, I love you dearly, but PLEASE never touch my laptop ever again. You had it for sixty seconds and somehow managed to turn off my firewall and install three packet sniffers

CupRamenQueen: (Me) Anyway, we won't just be sitting on our hands here. Lots of research we can do while you're taking it to the bastard

CupRamenQueen: (Me) I want to look more into the Somnarca. Maybe figure out what Takeuchi's "master plan" actually is

CupRamenQueen: (Chariot) Holbrooke had a private collection of books too dangerous for the school library. I'm pretty sure one of them covered dark magic from Ancient Rome. I'll reach out to her tonight

PickledPlumPrincess: guys i

PickledPlumPrincess: i dont know wut 2 say

StanCorpCEO: Then don't say anything. Works pretty well for me. ;)

EdgarXAlbertOTP: Akko, Diana. We all miss you. We all love you. And we're going to support you, no matter what.

DoYouDoPoison: speak for yourself

EdgarXAlbertOTP: SUCY.

DoYouDoPoison: what, it's my thing

DoYouDoPoison: if I started being all warm and sunshine, you'd all get freaked out

I Pirozhki: She has a point

SixtyO'Nine: i no i give ya both a lotta shit

SixtyO'Nine: but wen i transitioned

SixtyO'Nine: no1 was more supportive

SixtyO'Nine: that DID mean a lot, i hope u no

DianaCavendish: It feels rather awkward to be thanked for practicing basic human decency. I've made no secret that I find your personality…trying, at times. But you are still a witch, deserving of my respect. The Cavendish legacy demands no less.

SixtyO'Nine: …fuck

SixtyO'Nine: how the hell does she do that

I Pirozhki: Do what?

SixtyO'Nine: nuthin

SixtyO'Nine: just…

SixtyO'Nine: we ARE gonna take this fucker down

SixtyO'Nine: 4 u

SixtyO'Nine: and thats a FUCKIN PROMISE

StanCorpCEO: I've successfully booked my travel and lodging, and I've started a Google Doc to help everyone else do the same. The link should've just gone out.

DianaCavendish: Google…Doc…?

PickledPlumPrincess: ill explain after diana

CupRamenQueen: (Me) I'll explain to you as well, Chariot. Even though I know you STILL won't get it

CupRamenQueen: (Chariot) Thank you so much Croix, darling, love of my life, for being so patient with me, the woman so hopeless with technology that she tried to use the microwave and wound up cutting power to the entire block

CupRamenQueen: …

CupRamenQueen: (Me) Okay sure you didn't SAY that but we both KNOW it's true

DoYouDoPoison: blech

DoYouDoPoison: can already tell this is going in gag worthy direction

DoYouDoPoison: why can't there be any other aces to join me in general disgust

DianaCavendish: Andrew is aromantic but not asexual, if that helps. Though I gathered he wouldn't find much value in joining a group such as this.

PickledPlumPrincess: ur still in touch w andrew?

PickledPlumPrincess: how is he

DianaCavendish: He is…doing as well as can be expected. His political career keeps him quite busy, as you might imagine. But he was invaluable in uncovering the connection between my aunt and Takeuchi. If he hadn't warned me, I'm not sure I would've been able to find you in time.

I Pirozhki: Then it seems we owe him our thanks as well :)

EdgarXAlbertOTP: Yes, please say hi from all of us if you get a chance!

EdgarXAlbertOTP: And, umm…to Frank too…

SixtyO'Nine: :O

EdgarXAlbertOTP: Please don't start, Amanda. It was a long time ago, and…he probably doesn't even remember me. I've moved on.

EdgarXAlbertOTP: But…

EdgarXAlbertOTP: It'd be nice to know that he's doing okay.

SixtyO'Nine:

SixtyO'Nine: faaaaaaaaaaaaair nuff

CupRamenQueen: (Chariot) One question, Diana?

CupRamenQueen: (Chariot) What did you mean about your aunt

DianaCavendish: Oh, did I forget to mention that part? The Somnarca was once kept in a secure vault at Cavendish Manor. The only reason it's now a threat is because Daryl was foolhardy enough to pawn it off for spare change.

CupRamenQueen: (Me) That's…rather interesting

CupRamenQueen: (Me) Chariot, we'll need to keep that in mind as we're doing research

SixtyO'Nine:

DoYouDoPoison: …

DoYouDoPoison: well since the gifs have returned

DoYouDoPoison: think that's my cue to drop off

EdgarXAlbertOTP: I'm afraid I must as well. I'll need to explain this to my project lead, plus all the travel arrangements!

EdgarXAlbertOTP: But I'll keep an eye on the Google Doc for any updates.

I Pirozhki: We in Japan should probably turn in too

I Pirozhki: It's been a long night for all of us

PickledPlumPrincess: tell me about it

PickledPlumPrincess: b4 everyone goes tho

PickledPlumPrincess: just wanna say

PickledPlumPrincess: thank u

PickledPlumPrincess: 4 everything

StanCorpCEO: Anytime, Akko. We'll all be seeing you soon.

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EdgarXAlbertOTP: Good night. :)

EdgarXAlbertOTP has left the chat.

DoYouDoPoison: later

DoYouDoPoison has left the chat.

SixtyO'Nine: peace oooooooout FAWKAAAAAAAAAAHS

SixtyO'Nine has left the chat.

I Pirozhki: Feel free to use the guest room for the night if you don't wanna head home so late. My family doesn't mind :)

I Pirozhki has left the chat.

CupRamenQueen: We'll be in touch, Akko. Both of us.

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PickledPlumPrincess: diana…since she offered…

DianaCavendish: I saw her guest bedroom as we were heading inside. I suppose the bed is spacious enough for two people.

PickledPlumPrincess: gud

PickledPlumPrincess: cuz

PickledPlumPrincess: i

PickledPlumPrincess: i dont wanna b alone 2nite

DianaCavendish: You won't be.

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