The Thievius Raccoonus (2nd Edition)

by Stratocaster821

In his years of working with Sly, Bentley has carefully studied every detail of his dear friend's family heirloom. Now, he has compiled a digital copy of the Thievious Raccoonus, to preserve the Cooper legacy should the original book fall into enemy hands (again). This version features the origins of the most famous Coopers, thieving skills and additions by both Sly and Bentley.

3. Slytunkhamen III

Slytenkhamun III - c. 1260 B.C.

My father leaves for years with barely a parting word to build his precious vault, and all that he leaves me is this ratty papyrus written by him and my grandfather? I do not mind saying that I feel robbed as a master thief.

But it matters not. My reign as the new King of Thieves is seeing glory none like any Pharoah has ever seen! I have robbed from the most powerful noblemen in Thebes. I have left conniving merchants befuddled as I abscond with their fortune. I have even begun stealing exotic goods off of slanderous peddlers from the land of the Greeks. Soon my thieving greatness will know no borders!

In the past my father and grandfather would tell me to be patient and think about what's best for the family. But I am still in my prime and have no desire to slow my pace in robbing Egypt one greedy aristocrat at a time. I may not have a wife or family of my own at the moment, but I'm sure that will not be a problem for me, as I have acquired more wealth than my father and grandfather had ever accrued. Besides, who needs a family when I have the love of a group of concubines? I might as well be Pharoah myself with women at my beck and call.

However, I have grown rather bored with robbing and spreading my name in Egypt. I intend to expand my exploits elsewhere, to the eastern desert lands. Perhaps my urge to migrate is spurred by the presence of an elderly owl who continues to stalk my travels. He appears to be older than the sand he hobbles upon, being only supported by some complex mechanism. Perhaps I have just made another enemy in my thieving endeavors. But no foe is too intimidating for the King of Thieves, particularly not such a broken, ancient creature. I am fully assured that a long life of thieving and great riches await me.